Madisyn had known that if she headed into the main lodge, Kathy would likely follow and try to get her alone, so it didn’t surprise Madisyn to step out of the bathroom and find the woman waiting there. It also didn’t disappoint her because she had a few things to say to the old bitch.
Mouth tight, chin up, Kathy tried staring her down. Madisyn met her gaze boldly, itching to slice out her claws and rake them over the woman’s face just as her cat wanted.
“I’ll give it you,” Kathy began, “you handled that situation well.”
“You didn’t. You made a big mistake today. Not with me. I couldn’t care less how you feel about me. But Bracken cares. He cares about how his pack treats his mate, and you shit all over his feelings. And for what? Just because you’re bitter that a pallas cat once kicked your ass?”
Kathy waved a dismissive hand. “This isn’t about my past experience with your kind. This is about Bracken. If he’d brought home a mate who would be good for him, I’d have been so damn happy I’d have nearly cried. Because if anyone deserves happiness, it’s that wolf. You . . . I like you, Madisyn, I do.”
“Huh. Can’t say the same about you right now.”
“But I don’t think you’re what he needs.”
Bristling at that, Madisyn folded her arms. “Tell me, Kathy, what does he need?”
“Sensitivity. Compassion. Patience. Support. Someone who can bring him back to us. Back to life. We came so close to losing him. His heart was beating, but he wasn’t there. He wanted to die. You’re not the most sensitive or tolerant of people, Madisyn. I mean, look at you. You know your own mate is deeply wounded, but you’re making him work for this relationship. Making him move slowly.”
“It’s called building something, Kathy.”
“You could let him claim you. You could move onto his territory and become part of his pack. But no. You won’t. You care more about your independence than you do his soul.”
“I never said I wouldn’t allow him to claim me. I also never said I wouldn’t move here or join the pack. I just refuse to move too fast. And what would be the point in rushing it anyway? You can’t force a mating bond to snap into place.” In fact, rushing things could very well delay the process.
“Which I’m thankful for, because I truly don’t think you two are right for each other. He didn’t even want you until he realized you were mates.”
Fucking ouch.
“He could have easily cruised through life without you. Could have found contentment with someone else. Someone who would be good for him and could bring the old Bracken back to us.”
Cat hissing and spitting, Madisyn took an aggressive step forward. “Now you’re just pissing me off. You’re saying I’m not the sensitive, supportive person he needs, but I’m not the one treating him like he’s broken or not strong enough to pull himself out of whatever pit he fell into. I’m not the one who won’t accept him the way he is now or who tries to handle him—a fully grown dominant male—with kid gloves. I might not pander after him, Kathy, but that’s because he doesn’t need me to. And it would only insult and hurt him if I did.”
“That’s just—”
“The more you treat someone like they’re broken, the more they’ll feel like they are, and the less capable they’ll be to help themselves. Maybe your need to smother him comes from a good place, but it doesn’t help him. Just because he’s not the same as he once was doesn’t mean he needs fixing.”
Kathy shook her head. “You don’t know him like we do, so you can’t possibly know what he needs or what’s good for him.”
“I know that what you did today wasn’t good for him. By trying to fuck me over and work against what all your pack mates are trying to achieve, you betrayed every one of them. You didn’t care that Shiloh would get caught up in this. You didn’t care how it would make Bracken feel, because all this was about you and communicating how you feel. I’ll never forgive you for hurting him, which I’m sure doesn’t bother you. What should bother you is that I’m not sure he’ll forgive you for that.”
“You’re right. I won’t.”
At the sound of Bracken’s voice, Kathy spun to face him. Madisyn had already sensed his presence, just as she’d sensed that he wasn’t alone. Behind him were Shaya and Nick. None of them looked happy.
Kathy licked her lips. “Bracken—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” Bracken held out his hand to Madisyn. “Come here, baby.”
Crossing to him, Madisyn placed her hand in his. He pulled her to him, but not to his side. Instead, he urged her to stand behind him. Silently snorting at the protective move, she snuggled into his side and splayed her hand on his abs. Not just because she sensed he needed the emotional support, but because she didn’t entirely trust that he wouldn’t lunge at Kathy—something he’d later regret. Much, much later.
Glaring at Kathy, he said, “You fucked with my trust. Worse, you fucked with my mate. And for what, Kathy? What did you hope to achieve? You had to know it wouldn’t run her off. Were you hoping she’d fly off the handle and attack Shiloh—something that could potentially cause such a rift between Madisyn and Harley that not only would Madisyn get fired from the club, but the pack might not accept her? Was that your goal?”
“No,” said Kathy. “I wanted you to see Shiloh again. I wanted you to remember what it was that first attracted you to her. You haven’t given her a shot since your family . . .” Wincing, she let her sentence trail off. “Be honest with yourself, Bracken. You want her more than you want Madisyn, or you would never have pursued her when Madisyn was right there in front of you. What you felt for Shiloh was so strong that it overrode whatever draw you might have felt toward your true mate. But you’d forgotten that because you’re rarely around her anymore. I just wanted you to remember. She would be so much better for you.”
Feeling his mate stiffen, Bracken rubbed her arm as he glared at Kathy. “I’ve told you once before, Madisyn is what I need. Just her. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone as much as I want—”
“The bond,” Kathy finished. “It’s the bond pulling at you, not her.”
“I think you’ve said enough,” Nick rumbled, face hard as stone, but Kathy tried to speak again. He shook his head, stepping forward. “No, you’re done. Now you’ll listen. I agree with Madisyn that your concern for Bracken comes from a good place. But nothing you’ve done or said here today was good. He’s a grown man. He knows what he wants and needs. He knows his own mind. And you had no right to interfere, in any case.”
Shaya sidled up to her mate. “Your problem, Kathy, is that you think being the Alpha’s mother gives you a special pass to take liberties. You think it gives you some authority over the rest of the pack. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to remind you who’s Alpha female here. You’re a strong woman with strong opinions, I get it. But what you did today—displaying so much arrogance as to think you know best for someone else and have the God-given right to play with people this way—didn’t show strength. It showed weakness.”
Cheeks flushed, lips pressed into a tight line, Kathy marched up the curved staircase.
Nick turned to Bracken. “I know her well. There’s more to what she did than this simply being her opinion about what’s best for you. Something she’s too proud to share. I’m just not sure what it is. In any case, Shaya and I will deal with this. You and Madisyn go enjoy your evening.”
As the Alphas trailed after Kathy, Bracken rubbed a hand over his jaw. “Don’t know about you, baby, but I’m done with socializing for the day.”
“Same here,” said Madisyn.
He rested his forehead on hers. “I’ll understand if you’d rather go back to your place, but I’d still like you to come to my lodge.”
She would rather go back to her place. Would rather be at home where she could lick her wounds. But that would hurt him, and Kathy had already done plenty of that. Madisyn forced a smile, knowing it was weak. “Then, let’s go. I want to see where you live,” she added truthfully.
They grabbed her overnight bag from the trunk of his SUV and headed into the forest. Madisyn rolled back her shoulders, relieved to escape the beating glare of the sun. Now if she could just shake off the desire to burn off Kathy’s eyebrows, she’d be fine.
As they traipsed through the woods, winding their way through tall trees that seemed to go on forever, she glanced around, taking in the lush greenery and pretty wildflowers. Leaves, twigs, and pine needles crunched beneath their feet. Well, her feet. Bracken walked in complete silence.
In the distance, she could hear the kids laughing and shrieking. Here, though, there was only the chatter of squirrels, the chirping of birds, and the creaking of the branches that shuddered in the light breeze. No more scents of food. The air, fresh and cool, smelled of pine, moss, wildflowers, and sun-warmed earth.
Away from watchful eyes, her cat’s agitation began to slip away, though she’d still like to drag out a pawful of Kathy’s hair.
For a while, Madisyn and Bracken walked in silence. One thing neither of them had ever had a problem with was a shared silence. It never felt awkward. Never made Madisyn feel compelled to fill it with senseless chitchat. But right then, the silence was tense with things unsaid.
Bracken linked his fingers with hers and guided her away from a prickly shrub as he said, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that shit.”
“I’m sorry we had to deal with it. It was me she tried to hurt. But it was you who she did hurt.”
“You know Kathy was wrong, don’t you?” he asked, worried by the blank expression on her face. “I didn’t feel anything for Shiloh. I was curious about her. Intrigued. I didn’t care for her. I don’t even know her.”
“I know that,” Madisyn assured him, stepping over crisscrossing tree roots.
“But what Kathy said still struck a nerve, didn’t it?”
Yeah, it had. She was still feeling the sting of Kathy’s bluntly delivered: “He didn’t even want you until he realized you were mates.” And then there was what she’d said to Bracken: “It’s the bond pulling at you, not her.”
Bracken squeezed her hand. “Don’t let Kathy or anyone else make you doubt me or what we have. Don’t.”
It was hard not to, since some of the things that the woman had said were right.
“You saw me and Shiloh in the same setting tonight. Did it look like there was anything between us?”
Well, no. He hadn’t spent time staring at Shiloh, hadn’t tried talking with her, hadn’t joined her group at any point, nor had he actively avoided her as if any contact would be awkward. The margay hadn’t flirted with him. Hadn’t spared him sultry looks or tried to engage him in conversation. But then, Shiloh didn’t really try to engage anyone in conversation. She was more aloof than anyone Madisyn had ever met.
“She spoke all of one sentence to me today. She said that you’ll be good for me, told me not to fuck this up, and then she walked away.”
Madisyn’s brow creased. “I didn’t notice you two talking.” She kicked a pebble and watched it skitter into the shrubbery. And yeah, maybe she’d kicked it harder than necessary.
“It happened while you and Kathy were having your little confrontation. Seriously, baby, there’s nothing between me and Shiloh.”
“I believe you.”
But he knew she was still hurting. And he hated it. “I know what it’s like to find yourself battling pointless jealousy. You and Dominic had plenty to talk about.”
Her frown deepened. “He was, in his own odd way, distracting me from my anger so Kathy didn’t get the satisfaction of a reaction. Dominic and I have only ever been friends.”
“Your cat lets him close.”
“She’s fond of him.”
The dark jealousy from earlier began to creep back up on Bracken. “Fond of him?”
“In a sisterly way. She’s never wanted him. He tests her patience a fair bit.” Madisyn paused to watch a squirrel scrabble up a tree trunk. “She likes you much more. She’s comfortable with you, which says a lot.”
That made Bracken’s mouth curve. “Yeah?”
“How about we let our animals go for a run together tonight? My wolf is desperate to have time with your cat. He wants to get some attention from you as well.”
“Okay. But don’t come whining to me if my cat bites him for getting too pushy or anything.”
“No whining,” he promised.
Stopping at a tree, she traced the claw marks that had been scored into the rough bark. “Yours?” She could smell his scent there.
“Mine,” he confirmed. “We’re close to my lodge.”
A few minutes later, a tree-lined, timber-framed alpine lodge came into view. Her mouth fell open. With its cozy wraparound porch, wishing well, and minigarden, it looked like a charming rustic retreat. As they climbed the porch steps, she took in the woodpile set neatly next to the rocking chairs. Could easily imagine herself sitting there.
Bracken pushed open the front door and then stepped aside, gesturing for her to enter first. Madisyn took a tentative step into the small foyer. The scents of wood, leather, and Bracken greeted her and drew her deeper inside. Well aware of his gaze on her, she drank everything in—the tan walls, high ceilings, tall windows, wooden beams, log furniture, corner stone fireplace, black leather sofa, and wide-screen mounted TV.
“Come on,” said Bracken. “I’ll give you a tour.”
The hardwood flooring barely creaked beneath their feet as he led her around, showing her the rustic kitchen with its rich oiled woods, granite countertop, stainless-steel appliances, and the island in the center surrounded by four chairs.
As they walked back into the living room, she asked, “Didn’t you used to have an Xbox? I remember hearing you and Roni debate who was the best COD player out of the two of you.” But it wasn’t in this room.
“I gave the Xbox to the shelter not so long ago.”
“That was yours? How come you gave it away?”
“Shooting people and launching grenades on a video game no longer seems so . . . innocent . . . when you’ve seen the damage in real life.”
Shit, she hadn’t thought of that. “There are other games, though, right?”
“I associated the Xbox too much with COD. Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.”
She ran her hand along the smoothly polished banister as she followed him up the stairs. He pointed out the guest room and large bathroom before taking her into the master suite. Her brows lifted at the unexpected sight of a second fireplace flanked by two overstuffed chairs. The country-style bed was big and bulky and inviting.
As she stood staring out the window at the to-die-for mountain view, she heard . . . nothing. It was quiet in a way that some might have found creepy. She loved it.
“Well?” prompted Bracken.
She turned to face him. “I’m pleasantly surprised. I expected something more . . . sparse. Basic.”
“My old lodge was pretty sparse. This was originally a guest lodge; Shaya, Kent, and Caleb decorated it. I recently moved here, needing a change of scenery, and kept a lot of the furnishings that were already here.”
“It suits you.” Had the same charm and strength of character.
He crossed to her. “And you like it?”
“And I like it.”
Bracken caught her face with his hands. “Good.” Closing his mouth over hers, he thrust his tongue inside. He delved. Ravished. Dominated. Owned. She melted into him, sank into the kiss, gave as good as she got. But the hesitancy she’d shown the night she first felt the bond was back. Kathy’s words had shaken her more than she was willing to admit to him.
His wolf snarled, refusing to allow there to be any emotional distance between him and his mate. But Bracken knew he had to be patient, not throw his dominance around. He rubbed his nose against hers and said softly, “No retreating from me. I might not have all of you yet, but I have a really big part. Do you honestly think I’ll give it back?”
“I don’t want to take it back.”
Well, that was something. But although she might not have wanted to withdraw from him, she’d done it instinctively. He hadn’t heard her entire conversation with Kathy, so he couldn’t be sure what exactly had caused the withdrawal. “Talk to me, baby,” he coaxed, keeping his voice gentle, wanting her to trust that she was safe enough with him to lay out her feelings. “The things Kathy said are playing on your mind, aren’t they?”
“A little.”
Skimming his thumb along her jaw, he kissed the soft curve of her mouth. Soothing her. Gentling her. “I thought we’d gotten rid of at least some of your doubts.”
“So did I.” Madisyn splayed her hands on his chest. “But when she pointed out that you hadn’t wanted me until you realized we were mates, it was like a punch to the gut. Because it’s true. And because now that I’ve grown to care about you, that really hurts.”
The pain in her voice sliced through him. “Baby.”
“She was right about some of the things she said.”
His wolf growled at that. “Like what?”
“You could have cruised through life without me and been happy with someone else . . . even while I was right on the periphery of your life.” Madisyn put a finger to his mouth when he started to object. “You say you didn’t care for Shiloh, but that only makes it worse that you essentially chose her over me. I was right there, but you didn’t see me. Not really.”
“Wrong.” Moving her hand aside, he lightly kissed her, nibbling her lips with his own. “I was always drawn to you. I was just so freaked out by it that I convinced myself it wasn’t real.” He dipped his head and planted a kiss on her neck, still seeking to soothe and comfort. “It’s true that you weren’t on my radar, but I know now that that was because I wasn’t looking for my mate. I was looking for something fun. Uncomplicated. Shallow. Nothing I had to take seriously.”
Madisyn remembered that about him. Remembered wondering if there was much about life that he took seriously.
“Then my world turned upside down, and I wasn’t looking for fun anymore. But I still didn’t acknowledge the pull I felt toward you, because a part of me sensed that you’d make me happy, and I didn’t feel that I deserved to be happy. I was swimming in too much guilt, blaming myself for not protecting my family.”
Frowning, she curled her arms around his neck. “You didn’t fail them,” she said, firm and sober. “You didn’t, Bracken. Life’s just a bitch sometimes. Bad things happen. Don’t take the responsibility for what the extremists did. The blame belongs to them.”
He tilted his head. “See that?”
“What?”
“I’ve had countless people talk to me about this—especially Shaya, who lost her twin and knows a bit about survivor’s guilt. They all gave me big speeches and supportive words that sounded like they came right out of a self-help book on grief. All of it made sense. None of it made me feel any better. And then you, with just a few short words—none of which were exactly profound—made some of the pressure ease off my shoulders.” He knew the weight would come back, but at least he was getting a break from it. “That’s not the bond, Madisyn. That’s you.”
Bracken grazed her lower lip with his teeth just hard enough to sting. He gave the spot a soothing swipe of his tongue. “Feeling the tug of the bond didn’t make me want you. It just made me realize and acknowledge how much I want you. It whipped off my blinders and made me face the truth that was right in front of me. Wasn’t it the same for you?”
Madisyn let her eyes fall shut as he sifted his fingers into her hair and began kneading her scalp. “Not completely the same. I hadn’t fooled myself into thinking I didn’t want you. I just hadn’t known we were mates.” Feeling the slight prick of his claws, she met his gaze, saw honesty and determination there.
“I could have walked away, Madisyn. Have you ever thought about that? The mating urge didn’t have enough time to take hold. The bond was no longer pulling at me. I could have walked away. I had the perfect excuse—I won’t be good for you, my head is a messed-up place, you deserve better than what I can give. But I stayed, because I’m a selfish bastard, and I need you.”
He paused to comb his hand all the way through her hair, loving the silky feel of it as it flowed through his fingers like water. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it was the promise of the mating bond that made me stay. But the fact is that if I found out I was mistaken about you being my true mate, I wouldn’t leave you. Not a chance. That’s the honest-to-God’s truth. I need you to believe that, because no word of it is a lie.”
She couldn’t not believe him. Sincerity gleamed in his eyes, rang in every syllable, and seemed carved into his face.
“It rips me open that you don’t see how important you are to me. You’re my single weak spot, my one vulnerability that can be exploited and cost me everything. That’s shitifying for someone who’s already lost so much. But I would never even think of giving you up. The stirring of the bond pulled us together, sure, but it’s not what’s holding us together. It’s not the reason I feel happy, alive, and steady. That’s all you.”
His hands framed her face. “I need you to get that. I need you to believe in me, in us. I need you to stand with me anytime someone like Kathy takes potshots at what we have. Need you to protect and defend and fight for it. Can you do that?”
She licked her lips, determination building inside her. “Yeah.”
“You’re hearing what I’m saying? It’s sinking in?”
“It’s sinking in.”
“All the way in?”
“All the way.”