What the hell was that?

Where the hell did he come from?

Why was he sitting there watching me?

I breathe out for what feels like the first time since I opened my eyes and met his steely greys. Without care, I dump my guitar in the corner of the small dressing room and slump onto the small sofa.

“Fuck, Rach,” I curse to the empty room. “This is all your fault.”

“All whose fault?” Zoey asks from the cracked-open doorway before walking behind me to wrap her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug.

“You’re so tense, my little berry. Whose arse do I need to go and kick?”

“Rachel’s,” I supply with a huff. “Although I’m guessing kicking it is not your preferred choice of action when it comes to her arse.”

“No,” she sighs dreamily. “Have you seen her firm, round derriere? I’d like to spank it a little, but I definitely don’t want to kick it.”

“TMI,” I blurt while unwinding her arms from around me and slouching down further into the cushions.

“You’re here early.”

“Not really, Aurora is opening in-” she glances at her wristwatch “-ten minutes, and I’m running the main bar all by myself seeing as our other bar worker is going to be busy charming the masses with her killer voice and amazing songs.”

“Did Rach send you in to give me a pep talk?”

Her brow furrows, and she looks genuinely confused. “No, I haven’t seen her since she left for work. She starts earlier than I do, plus the big boss man called her in, he’s arrived sooner than planned.”

I tuck my bare feet underneath me and drape the skirt of my dress, so it doesn’t crease too much.

“I know,” I answer without looking at her. “I just saw his brother while I was doing a sound check.”

“Oh,” she says with a voice laced with intrigue and a little bit of mischief. “The hot, nerdy one.”

“The very same,” I answer unthinking.

“Ha! So, you do think he’s hot.”

“I didn’t say that,” I refute quickly, giving her the quiet stink-eye while she gloats and plonks herself down next to me on the seat.

“Did he hear you sing?” she prods, her eyebrows waggling.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I opened my eyes at the end of the song, and he was sat there staring at me.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

“What’s with the twenty questions? If you want to find out more about him, go and introduce yourself. Oh-” I smirk, and she has the decency to blush “-you already did that once didn’t you?”

“I’m not the one interested in him,” she throws back with a little bite in her tone.

“Neither am I.”

She gives me a look that says ‘really?’ before standing and making her way to the door.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what your mouth says, but your face says something else.”

Before I can argue further, she blows me a kiss and walks straight out of the door. It closes behind her with a soft snick, and I sit in silence mulling over her words.

Rachel and Zoey have both told me I’m very easy to read. They both say I wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions on my face and I don’t know how to be any other way. But the truth is, although Nate’s brother intrigues me, it’s nothing more than that. Despite the fact we’ve led very different lives, I see something in him that I feel in me.

Emptiness.

Soul-aching, chest squeezing, bone-deep emptiness.

Yes, I’ll admit that he’s easy on the eye, but I’m not interested in a man who can be so dismissive of others no matter what grief he lives with inside him. Tragedy does not give anyone the right to be an arsehole because although you might be in pain, you’ve no idea what pain another must live with inside them. It’s not about walking in another’s shoes; it’s understanding that you’ll never know what their heart has endured.

“Hey.” Rachel’s soft voice comes through the open doorway. “Do you fancy starting a little earlier tonight? Nate’s here with his brother and Aurora has already opened so I figured you could do your set and head home before sunrise for a change.”

I blink my eyelids, feeling a dryness from staring into space for so long.

“Sorry. How long have I been in here?”

“Over an hour. Zo said she spoke with you just before we opened.”

I blink again and stare at the space around me, my legs protesting as I uncurl my stiff muscles.

“I must have zoned out. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not like you’re working the bar tonight. So,” she continues with hope blooming in her eyes. “Do you fancy getting on stage in around ten minutes’ time? I mean, you’re doing an acoustic set tonight, and I’m assuming sound check went okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I agree dismissively. My mind is slow to process, my brain still stuck in thoughts of haunted grey eyes.

“Great,” she exclaims happily, her eyes sparkling behind the lenses of her glasses. “I’ll announce you, and then you go and do your thing. I’m so excited to see Nate’s reaction.”

My head snaps towards hers.

“He doesn’t know that I’m tonight’s headliner?”

“Nope,” she says popping the p sound playfully, her glee evident.

“Rach, I swear…”

“Sorry, gotta rush. You can tear me a new one later. Break a leg, my little berry.”

And then she’s gone, taking her dazzling grin with her.

I swear if she wasn’t my best friend I’d think she was out to make my life a misery, but I know her heart is in the right place, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

I stand and stretch out my muscles, take a few sips from a bottle of water and run through my set list in my head. I have a mix of original songs, like the one Nate’s brother caught me singing during my sound check, and a few covers which are typically my twists on songs you wouldn’t think you’d hear played acoustically. They tend to go down well with the customers as it takes them a while to figure out why they know the words to what I’m playing, and then when they finally recognise it they are singing along in my style and not the original. It’s quite a buzz, and I almost enjoy playing the covers as much as my work.

With a quick look in the mirror to make sure my hair is still in place, and satisfied that I don’t look like a right mess, I head out into Aurora. If I spend any longer getting ready, the nerves kick in and become crippling, so I like to get out and on the stage before they have a chance to rear their ugly head.

With my guitar slung across my back and my bare feet hitting the cool marble floor, I look out across the impressive outdoor club. Almost every area is full, with people milling about in groups along the balcony, and others chilling with friends in the opulent seating areas. Despite the crowds, my eyes find him immediately. It’s as though he’s been waiting all this time for me to return. He’s sitting in the same spot he was before, only this time, my boss Nate, his brother, is sat next to him.

The nerves I escaped the dressing room to avoid, hit me full force, and with my eyes still locked on his, I stumble a little on my unsteady feet. With a deep breath, I snap my gaze away from his penetrating stare, straighten my spine, and head towards Rachel who has just taken the stage.

“Good evening, Aurora,” she calls out to the crowd, and the resulting cheers and applause echo out across the night air.

“We have a treat for you guys tonight. If you’ve managed to catch our headline act before, you’ll know just how talented she is, and you should count yourselves lucky because she doesn’t perform gigs often. Tonight, for one night only, I’m overjoyed to present you with our very own, Halle Richards.”

The lights dim around us, and a single spotlight highlights my spot on the stage. Everything else disappears as I take the couple of steps needed to stand front and centre. With the club dark and the light directly on me, I can’t see the faces of the crowd, only the silhouettes of bodies and their expectation hanging thick in the air. I take a seat on the stool provided for me, adjust the mic and bring my guitar around to my front. With a last fortifying breath, I close my eyes and let the music take over.

Don’t watch me with your judging eyes.