Eli
I was too warm and too comfortable to wake up, but when the pillow started to move, my brain frantically searched for answers.
Roman.
Everything that had happened came crashing back, and part of me wanted to pretend to sleep for just a while longer. I didn’t want to know what would happen once the real world intruded again. I had a better grasp on what’d gone wrong the first time, but there was still a nagging fear in the back of my head that it would all explode again.
“I’m not a pillow you can fluff, Eli. Stop wiggling.” Roman’s laughing voice had me freezing and carefully peeking one eye open.
I was curled up into him, using his shoulder as a pillow. As I shifted my head, I found myself looking into Roman’s smiling face. “You snore.”
My mouth dropped open. “I do not.”
He chuckled. “Oh, you do, but it’s cute.”
Being called a cute snorer was better than what could have happened, but I still frowned at him. “You’re insane.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” He turned his head to get closer and kissed just below my hairline, making my stomach whirl. “You sleep very soundly.”
I shrugged, not willing to argue about something that obvious. “I crash after an orgasm. The bigger the pleasure and the longer the submission, the deeper I go.”
Roman was still clothed, but he’d wrapped one edge of the blanket over me, so I didn’t feel naked enough to be uncomfortable. Not ready to go back to functioning, I curled closer and let my head rest on his chest, closing my eyes.
I could hear the smile in his voice. “Are you going back to sleep?”
Shrugging, because I couldn’t decide, I took a deep breath and started running my fingers absently around the buttons on his shirt. Roman’s hands slid under the blanket and started caressing my back. He waited for an answer but spoke up when it was clear I wasn’t going to commit to one. “How about I order a pizza for us? Then you don’t have to function, but I can still get some food in you.”
“Is it late enough for dinner?” I’d been hoping I hadn’t slept that long.
“Past dinner, really.”
“Shit.” I had too much left to do to lie around much longer. “I don’t want to get up.”
Roman chuckled. “I think you left part of that sentence out.”
Possibly.
Not wanting to brush off what was clearly a hint to open up, I sighed. “I have homework to finish and some financial reports to go over.” I waited for any indication he was angry about the business, but he just kept up the gentle touches.
His question avoided work altogether. “What kind of homework?”
“I’m getting my MBA, and it’s never-ending bullshit. But unfortunately, some of it has actually been useful, so I keep pushing at it.” It’d made dealing with the bankers and financial reports a lot easier, but they would never be my favorite part of the job.
Curiosity was clear in Roman’s words. “Your MBA?”
I nodded and shoved the fear that I was oversharing to the back of my head. If I didn’t open up to him, then I’d never figure out if he was really trustworthy. “Yeah, my family doesn’t exactly know what I do for a living or about the company, so the school stuff keeps them satisfied. And I don’t mind. I like staying busy.”
He thought things over, but instead of asking about my family, his question took the conversation in a different direction than I was expecting. “What do you mean ‘about the company’?”
In for a penny, in for a pound. If he was going to stay around, I wasn’t going to start things off with a lie. “I own it. Well, fifty-one percent. Preston does the hiring and…and well, firing…I don’t have that much to do with the day-to-day side of things. I veto new hires if they make me uncomfortable, but that’s about it.”
Roman was quiet while I spoke, so I quickly forced the rest of the words out before he could respond. “It wasn’t my idea to fire you, but he wouldn’t change his mind about it, and at that point, I didn’t know what to do.”
Roman was silent for a long minute and his hands stopped moving, which made me even more nervous. When he finally came back from whatever thoughts had pulled him away, he started the slow touches again as he spoke. “Did you start the company? I’m starting to think I should have done more research on you guys.”
“It’s not public knowledge, and you would have had to look to find me, but I kind of started it. At college, when I finally got enough freedom to explore who I was away from my family.”
That was a bit of an understatement, but instead of getting sidetracked, I kept going with the explanation. “They don’t even know about me being gay, much less everything else, and they wouldn’t understand it.”
At least, my best guess was that they wouldn’t understand it. My mother had nearly had a heart attack when I’d worn a pink tie to a party she was hosting. “Well, I was doing a blog about the lingerie stuff and really oversharing about what I was discovering about BDSM and things like that. It was fun, but not exactly a job. Long story short, Preston found out what I was doing and figured out a way to make it a real business. Since I started it and was doing all the modeling and blogging, he insisted that I have a majority stake in the company.”
Again, Roman didn’t take the path I was expecting. His hand just moved up to caress my hair and he gave me what felt like a hug. “It’s good he was looking out for you.”
Nodding, I snuggled closer so that I was pressed against his side, my cock now tucked close to his hip. “Yeah, he was a good friend from day one.”
“Were you two ever involved?” The curiosity in his voice was almost too cute.
Trying not to smile, I shook my head. “No, not really, goofy stuff but nothing serious and no sex. He likes sweet, quiet guys.”
Roman chuckled. “I could almost hear you rolling your eyes.”
Grinning, I nodded. “It’s so cliché.”
“What, the meek little sub that wants to be corrupted?” He laughed as I snorted at the question.
“Yes.”
His body moved, and it felt like a shrug, but I was too comfortable to actually look. “It’s cliché because it’s sexy and true.”
He’d better not want someone meek and sweet. “You don’t seem to want a simpering little sub to bring over to the dark side.”
Roman barked out a laugh. “No, I like brats who are already well entrenched in the dark side and need a spanking and a firm hand to help them remember how to behave.”
Smirking a bit, I nodded. “I’m glad.”
Finally comfortable enough to turn the conversation around to something harder, I spoke again. “And you’re sure everything else doesn’t bother you? What happened…the photos that we took and the ones I do for the website…just…everything?”
Long pause while Roman seemed to think about the question. I liked that he wasn’t rushing, but the silence made me nervous. When he eventually started talking, I was nearly holding my breath waiting to hear what he would say. “We’re both responsible for what happened before. Too many assumptions on both parts and not enough real conversations are to blame. Yes, I shouldn’t have lumped you in with my ex, and you shouldn’t have assumed I was just an ass because you’re a brat. It’s a bit raw if I’m being honest, but I’m not mad.”
The relief that coursed through me had my mind struggling to stay focused on the rest of his words as he continued. “I’ve never had an issue with the photographs or how sexy you look in them. I know I said some shitty stuff, but that was just an easy outlet for other emotions. I just took photos of you to show off how incredible you look when you submit, to show other people who want their picture taken. I’m an ass but not hypocritical.”
“I’ll agree with the ass part and withhold judgment on everything else for now.” The high from the stress that’d melted away was my only excuse.
Roman snorted but otherwise ignored my snarky remark. “We both have a right to be cautious…but I want you to know that I meant what I said. Now the same question for you…Does what happened bother you? Does the idea of me showing your pictures worry you, or does the idea of me taking other men’s photos make you uncomfortable?”
It wasn’t as hard to answer as I was afraid it might be. “Some of it still bothers me…I’d be lying if I said otherwise. But I don’t want it to fester between us…You want there to be an us, right?”
“Yes.” His voice was firm and the resolve clear. “I have no idea what it’s going to look like or how we’ll make it work, but I’m not a one-night stand kind of guy. I like commitment.”
That word could have a multitude of meanings in a relationship…and I’d seen some truly surprising ones, so I knew I had to press for more details. “Define commitment.”
It must have come out more skeptical than I’d intended because Roman laughed. “No fucking other people…I’m not going to do something crazy like tell you to keep your clothes on, Brat.”
A bit relieved, I nodded against his chest. “That works.”
“We’ll figure out rules that work for us as time goes on. We don’t need to have it all figured out right away. But we’re going to communicate and not do anything stupid.” It sounded like a pep talk he’d given himself already, which was so cute I wanted to smile.
“And if I’m a brat?” Might as well figure that part out right away so there were no surprises.
Roman’s voice deepened and had a rough, sexy edge to it. “I’m going to spank you and give you whatever attention I think you need.”
That was interesting. “So you don’t have an issue with people realizing we’re not quite a traditional couple?”
Chuckling, Roman gave me a hug. “Baby, I don’t have a problem bending you over in front of your friends and giving that bottom a spanking if you need it. I think we need to talk about your limits and what you’re comfortable with, though.”
“Really?” I’d never been with a guy who was that open to what I wanted.
“Yes, I’m not sure how much you know, but my ex outed us online in a big way. I hadn’t hidden my sexuality from my family, but they didn’t know about any of the BDSM stuff or the photos I’d taken of him.” Roman’s voice still sounded bitter over the way his life had exploded, not that I could blame him. But having a better idea about what had happened, it was easier to understand how things had gone so wrong with us in the beginning.
I could feel the stiffness in his body, but his hands kept stroking my neck and down my back, so I just listened. “Well, my ex blasted our business from the rooftops, and all of a sudden my family knew everything. So maybe it was baptism by fire, but I don’t have the fear of people finding out like I did before.”
As he turned the conversation around to us again, his voice lost some of the frustration I’d been able to hear before. “But I will not out you or push you beyond what you’re comfortable with. I understand that we’ll have differences of opinions on some of these things, and I’m not going to shove you out of the closet…BDSM or otherwise.”
Some people might have said I would be stupid to believe him after everything that he’d said before, but I could feel the honesty in his words. Looking up, I smiled. “Thank you. My family doesn’t know any of it. Sheltered upbringings and uber-conservative backgrounds made for a household that wasn’t exactly open-minded.”
He gave me an understanding look. “Is your plan that they don’t ever find out?”
Not exactly practical, but the idea sounded good. Sighing, I snuggled back into him. “I wish…I know that’s not realistic, though. At some point, I’m going to tell them. I’ve got a family here now and a great support system at work, so it’s not like I’ll be alone if they go postal on me. Hell, if it gets me out of visiting my mother so often, I might just come out for that reason alone.”
I could feel his chest rumble as he suppressed a laugh. “Were you really visiting family that often? I wasn’t sure if it was just an excuse to get away.”
“I would have loved to have been lying, but no, I’m honestly over there every couple of weeks.” And just saying that out loud made me feel like a mama’s boy who didn’t have a life. “She’s got to be delusional, because nobody with a regular job could take that much time off without being fired. It’s terrible, she keeps trying to fix me up with boring society women. She wants me to move home and help give her grandkids and keep up the image that she’s cultivated in her social circle.”
Roman went very still. “Kids?”
Laughing at the fear in his voice, I lifted my head and leaned in close to give him a kiss. “Don’t panic, you’re safe.”
He frowned, clearly not sure how to respond. “I don’t hate them.”
Still chuckling, I shook my head. “Well, I don’t want them. Is that an issue?”
He seemed to sag down in relief. “No.” Then he gave me a grin. “But now that you’ve planned out our future, can we get food?”
I wasn’t sure I liked the way that sounded. “I was not planning out our future.”
He shrugged carelessly but refused to agree. “Sounds like it to me. You were talking about your mother finding out and demanding I give you kids. That’s a future.”
That was not what I’d said. “You’re insane.”
He gave me a mock frown, but I could see the laughter in his eyes. “I’m not going to let you rush me into marriage. I’m going to take my time.”
“Nuts.”
I got a little smirk as he continued his teasing. “I think she’s going to love me and invite me to call her ‘Mom.’”
“Don’t hold your breath on that one. And you’re crazy.”
Laughing, he gave me a smacky kiss. “Then feed me.”
Sighing, I started to climb over him, the whole naked thing no longer an issue since he wasn’t going all psycho on me. “Come on…if it will shut you up.”
He palmed my ass, giving my cheeks a squeeze as I straddled his lap. “Probably not, but you can try.”
“Hey, no more of that. I have homework. No distractions.” He was too tempting with his devilish grin and wandering fingers.
“Well, I have some sexy photos to edit.” One hand came down to smack my ass teasingly. “So no tempting me.”
Unable to resist a challenge, I let my ass grind over his cock and decided not to hurry off the bed. “I’m not doing anything.”
He looked at me like I was a naughty kid he was trying to get to behave. “You’re naked and waving that half-hard dick at me again.”
And it was rapidly going from half-mast to full steam ahead. “That’s all your fault.”
That earned me another toe-curling spank, that time on my other cheek, before Roman shook his head. “Nope. It’s just you being naughty. I knew you were going to need a spanking.”
Just the idea of a full-out spanking over his lap made my toes curl and my cock jerk. “Stop saying things like that. I really do have stuff to do.”
Heat sprang to life in Roman’s eyes, and I could see the wicked thoughts running through his head. His sexy voice made me want to throw myself at him. “I wonder if you could concentrate with a nice red bottom and a toy keeping your cock hard and ready for me to play with.”
It was going to be a long night.