Fifteen
We entered the Queen's solar, it was my first look outside since I awoke. I could see remnants of frozen plants poking up through the light snow that speckled the garden. The tree's had a little ice on them causing their limbs to bow. There was a fire in the fireplace. I sat down into the same chair that I sat in the night Prince Echo announced to all that he would be my protector.
I was lost in thought about all that has happened since I came here with Garrik. All of the struggles I have had, but also all of the beautiful moments with my handsome Elf-man. God I loved him. Every moment I start to fall into a pit of self pity I look at what I have with Garrik. I wouldn't trade it for any safe studio apartment in all the realms. I would much rather be laying in my bed cuddled up on Garrik right now than with his mother. Yet I know I owe her this time. She has welcomed me, loved me as her own, and accepts me regardless of all the changes I have made and brought.
“You are beautiful Vera. I am not sure you know that. Everything about you is fascinating with a hint of something deadly. It worries me. Makes my gut twist into knots. Something big is coming. I want you to know that we have made a choice and we choose you. The entire kingdom has because the King and I have so we will stand beside you and Garrik,” The Queen was rambling. I am not sure how to respond or what to say. My face must have looked perplexed because the Queen was quick to add, “Don't stress so much right now Vera. This is the calm before the storm. Let us relax in it and discuss things that are going to affect you day to day. Are you ready for people to see you?”
“No, I am terrified of what they will think. They were scared of me before my most recent change. People in fear can react harshly without thought. People who do not understand change are equally as dangerous. What will they say about me? What are they saying about me?” I ask the Queen hoping she will supply me with truth.
“I can't say, Vera. Our people are quick to tell their royalty what they want to hear. Whoever we talk to will most likely deny any discourse. Sir Tomilson will have more insight into it than I. However, I would like to point out your words are wise. You are right to be concerned about the thoughts and fears of our people. Before the incident in the training facility there were whispers of your mixed heritage. People are confused, are you human or elf? Then they find out that you are elf but are you Dark or Light? What I can for sure tell you is the people of Median are loyal. We are blessed with a very rich kingdom. No one goes without or wants for anything. We overflow with resources and we sell or trade them with other kingdoms Dark or Light at fair prices. We have strong allies and they will stand with us through anything.” I found the Queen's words comforting. Then she hit me with a verbal snowball.
“What are you going to do about Echo? Garrik seems to be accepting of his presence. He was forced into interacting with him during your coma and it seems you haven't pushed him away either.”
“I do not know my Queen. I spark with him like with Garrik, but I have known Garrik for years now. Garrik is my everything. Echo loves me. I am not sure I love him the same, but maybe it is because I haven't given him a chance. I don't understand how the spark works.”
“Simple, you can't deny a spark that is so near. Garrik knows it. He is trying to deny it, but he knows it. He also knows you will be safer if you bond to Echo as well. Your earth and shadow magic will become amplified with your connection. It is would be useful.”
“I can't enter the human realm looking like this.” I waved my hand down my body. “I glow in the light. I have never seen skin so shiny. I have shiny skin. I know I can blend in, but even those abilities may not be enough to hide this," I gestured toward my body, "unless I am covered from head to toe.”
She frowned at me. “More reason for you to bond with Echo. You will still have to hide when visiting that realm, but it wouldn't be as difficult.”
“So how does that talk happen. 'Hey Garrik I love you and all but I also kind of like Echo. Can you share?'” I rolled my eyes and released an exasperated sigh. “I felt how his heart cracked when he saw Echo and I spark at the dinner when I first arrived. I can't do that to him again.”
“I think you would find that losing you scares him more than sharing you.” his mother might have a point. He might want me to do what is safest for me. I wouldn't mind sleeping with Echo at all. He is tall, dark, strong, oh so strong. I blushed with the thought of Echo's body. I could love him. I am learning that my heart can hold more love then I ever imagined. “Vera has no sparks. I am Vera.” The words slipped into my mind again. Will that part of my soul will ever stop talking to itself?
“Is it possible for someone to not ever have a spark?” I asked, “My past life self had no sparks. The words keep shifting through my head and it brings a deep sadness and loneliness.”
“Everyone has a spark. It may take hundreds of years to find yours but everyone has one. You have two. That is a blessing. I know how much Rew loves me. I couldn't even imagine that much love times two.”
She is right. I am blessed, but I can't shake this feeling that this isn't the way things are meant to be. I was never meant to have a spark.
“Finley was my lover even though he wasn't my spark. I know that Taryn was with Echo as well. Is it normal to take a lover while you await your spark?”
“Yes, the elvish kind love to love and there is no shame in that. If a spark for one comes along the other partner might be sad but they move on. You need to talk to Fin. I am anxious to see if a pigeon comes in tomorrow from him. I agree with Rew it is not safe for you to travel yet. Practice realm walking with Toby please.” I nodded to the Queen. She then suggested that Sir Tomilson take me back to my rooms for some sustenance and sleep.
I was scared of falling asleep and not waking again. I haven't told anyone of those fears yet. We walked the secret hallways back to the war room. We entered the sitting room and Tom began making coffee.
“Don't worry about that. I am tired and plan to sleep soon.” I began munching on shelled sunflower seeds that were left out on the table.
“Tom, can I ask you a question and have you answer it as honestly as possible?”
“I will always answer you as such Princess. I am grateful you value my opinion enough to ask for my advice.” He sat down across from me helping himself to some crackers and cheese.
“What do you think of Echo?”
He looked at me like that was exactly the question he was expecting. Unfortunately he kept his answer short and to the point, “I agree with our Queen.” Of course he agreed with his royalty.
“Do you think Garrik would be able to handle a bond like that?” I will get as much out of Tom Tom as I can.
“Yes, I think you felt his initial heartbreak and haven't taken the time to see how much the Prince loves you. He would do anything to keep you safe. If that means bonding with Prince Echo then he would support it even if he didn't like it.” Tom finished speaking and I knew in my heart of hearts he was right.
“One last question, Tom. Do you think the people are going to be able to accept me?”
“I can't say Princess because I don't know. They wouldn't talk to me about it if they didn't. Everyone knows I choose to give you my full loyalty.”
“Why though? Why did you vow yourself to me? You could have requested the position of either the Queen or the King.”
Tomilson didn't want to answer. I could tell by the way his face scowled a little and his violet eyes darkened to a more interesting deep purple.
“My family has all been knights. Centuries of protectors. We all have protection magic. I am not originally from Median. My family moves to where we are most needed. It is like a calling of sorts. When I was coming into my gifts as a boy my calling was to Median. My father argued with me. He said that Median didn't need protecting like the smaller kingdoms. I told him I had a dream. My dream was of a woman with gold eyes. He told me that is impossible. Only Dark Elves have gold eyes and that there will be no golden eyed royals in Median. He was right. There wasn't, and yet I stayed. I trained with Prince Garrik and made a life here.” Tomilson paused. He was such a dedicated man. He had a calling and he never wavered.
“Years went by with no wars, no conflicts, no one in particular needing extra protection. Yet I stayed. When Prince Garrik started spouting nonsense of seeing his flame and she was a human, I was intrigued. Everyone else thought he was crazy. When you arrived your eyes were green. I was hoping you were the one, but it was obvious to me that you weren't. Life went on. The night of the dinner that you bonded with the Prince I was there near the royal family as always. Throughout dinner your eyes kept changing. No one seemed to notice it the first few times, but I did, because I was meant to. The moment they flashed gold the first time I knew you were the one. I do not know how or why, but there you were a gold eyed elven Princess, and I am destined to protect you. It is my honor.” He stood and took a full bow continuing, “There is more at work here Princess than any one can comprehend.”
He is right there are too many coincidences lining up. I need to talk to Fin. I need to go practice but my body has no more energy. I am scared of sleep but I need to have it. I was still sitting in the sitting room when I rested my head on the table and drifted to sleep. I felt someone pick me up and put me in a soft bed, muttering thanks I drifted back to sleep.
“I am Vera. Vera,” The entire world was dark again. I was alone in a dark room.
“Your time is over,” I couldn't see anyone. I had no idea who was talking to me. I reached for my power and nothing was there. I couldn't see any light. I dropped to my hands and knees running my hands along cold stone walks looking for a door or crack or anything. Nothing. There is nothing. I could hear the echoing of water dripping, but couldn't find it. I am so thirsty. This was it, the end. I had never had a spark. I never had a flame. I never had children. My people were my children and now I can't even serve them. Everything has been taken from me. Finley promised he would always find me, but he is lost to me now as well. My lover, my friend, the only person I could trust. Gone. Like the rest of this world. I am alone.
“I am Vera. I am sad. I have lips. I have legs. I have Garrik, Echo, and Tomilson. I have life. I am Vera.” The words roll over and over in my head. No more images, no more torture, just a constant reminder to my soul that I am someone. I am not nothing. I was and am someone. I don't know who Vera is. It is who I am, and I have people I love and people who love me.
“I am Vera,” I felt my lips saying. Arms there are warm strong tingly arms wrapped around me. Sparks, I feel sparks on my head. “I am Vera,” I say out loud again.
“Yes, you are Vera. You are my love, my heart, my flame. Please wake back up we are worried.” the voice has magic in it. I can't say no to it. I try hard to open my eyes.
Open. Open. Open. I will them over and over again to open. Sparks. There are sparks in my eyes. Gold sparks.
“Vera, sweetling, it is time to wake up,” I heard a deep voice and a massive hand caressing my cheek. Open damn it! My eyelids felt so heavy. They drifted half open then plopped back closed. Try again. And again. Finally someone lifted me up to a sitting position. A cup was put to my lips and I sipped. Lips I have lips. Eyes I have eyes. I am Vera. My eyes opened.
I was wearing the same dress I fell asleep in. My room was full of people again. Garrik was holding me. Echo had the cup that I just drank from. Tomilson was leaning against the wall with a worried look on his face. Taryn had a tray of food, and Rose was standing at the end of the bed. I must have been out for awhile again.
“How long was I out for this time?” I croaked.
“Two days” Tomilson replied first.
“Damn, I am sorry. I couldn't bring myself to wake. I am sure this won't keep happening.”
“Toby thinks we need to get you outside. We need to keep your body busy so you don't forget you have one.” Rose said in a very matter fact way.
“I agree with him. You need to go bathe, eat, and then we are going to put your body back to work and head to the training facilities.” Garrik told me. It wasn't even a suggestion, it was an order. I didn't argue. I went into the sitting room with everyone following me. Taryn had set her tray down on the table. Mmmhm potato soup with a biscuit and a side of tomato cucumber salad. I dig into the soup, forget salad. I have never been a big salad eater. How do they have fresh food during winter anyways?
“Greenhouses. Duh.” I look up from my food and flash my eyes at Garrik. I love that Elf-man but he is pushing my buttons. Tomilson, bless his heart he brought me a cup of coffee. Echo poured me a glass of elf wine. Garrik continued to sit there and stare at me. Rose sensing I wasn't going to eat my salad reached in and ate it for me. Rose is turning more into a sister than an Elven Councilwoman. It felt perfectly natural for her to be in there.