Dr. Mila Voss
The Raithers seemed a lot quieter after what had happened between Lazan and I. I knew that Kerglan had no idea what had happened, but it felt as if he did. The relationship between the brothers was even more strained than before, and I found myself worrying that the two of them would end up killing each other long before they ever reached their crew.
And yet the tension was an unspoken one, and came out in little ways at unexpected times, leaving us all reeling when it did happen.
“I think it was a mistake to come this way,” Kerglan would say. Or Lazan would prickle at one of Kerglan’s unreasonable demands and they would seethe at each other for hours, without saying any more than three or four words to set the other off. The tension was thick, but there were times when it seemed they were getting along.
The whole thing was bewildering, and I couldn’t help but believe that all of it was my fault. If I hadn’t gotten between the brothers, maybe their relationship would have been a little bit easier. Or salvageable at the very least. At this point, it looked to me like they may never reconcile; at least not until they made it back to their crew. From there, who could say what might happen?
The likelihood of that happening though seemed to grow dimmer by the day. We had been wandering for nearly a month at that point, all of us growing more and more anxious to stumble upon the promised land. In fact, was beginning to doubt the existence of the place, until Kerglan halted and turned to us, his eyes wild and frenzied.
“I know this place!”
Lazan and I exchanged a look and then turned to Kerglan.
“What do you mean you know this place?” I asked, not daring to hope that it could possibly be true. Was our search going to end? I couldn’t even allow myself to consider that to be possible.
“It is where I was going to collect myself. Remember, Lazan? Because I liked the shape of that tree. It reminded me of home.”
Lazan turned to where his brother was pointing and studied the tree, a look of disbelief creeping across his face.
“Kerglan, I think that you may be right,” he breathed.
“I told you I would lead us back to the camp!” Kerglan exclaimed, his pomp and bluster nearly bursting at the seams. On any other day, I might have looked away from him, the sight of his ego a little bit too overwhelming for me to take seriously. But today, all I could do was gaze at him in wonder. We had made it back to the camp. We were going to be saved.
“Come, the camp is this way,” Kerglan said, waving his hand and motioning us forward. “Human, you are going to love the food that we brought, if there is any left. It is so much better than what has been sustaining us thus far.”
I followed the Raithers through the trees as if in a daze, my body numb. Were we truly finally at the end of our journey? And what would happen if what we found was not an encampment at all? What if they had been raided? Or the ship had already come and gone, leaving us all behind for the rest of our miserable lives?
But a sharp laugh startled me out of my thoughts, and Kerglan was running toward me, his handsome face brighter and more attractive than I had ever seen it. It was a look of unbridled joy, and he gripped me by the waist and lifted me, spinning me around above his head so that I was able to see what he was seeing.
In the distance, there was a large, metallic vessel, surrounded by a large gathering of men who all had the same baby-blue skin tone as Kerglan and Lazan. Each of them bore the same black uniform proudly, and bustled about in a surprisingly organized fashion. We had made it to the camp. At last, we could stop wandering the dangerous and terrifying jungles of Hexa and settle down among the Raither people.
***
“You mean to tell us you went adventuring just out of sheer boredom?” a Raither named Jadex was asking, his expression skeptical as he studied Kerglan. It seemed that everybody was deeply familiar with Kerglan’s self-important ways, and suspected that his cover story was more of a prideful excuse to go out wandering and get lost.
I half expected Lazan to call Kerglan out and tell the crew the real story, but he kept his eyes forward and refused to speak. It was sweet, really, the loyalty he had toward his brother, no matter how difficult Kerglan could be. He didn’t seem to want to cause him any pain. And yet, there had been that tryst in the forest…
My cheeks flushed hot as I recalled the deep, sensual thrill of Lazan’s body against mine. I had never experienced anything like it in my entire life. It had seemed as if he had known exactly what he was doing and had brought me untold pleasure as he did so. I often found my thoughts wandering back to it, wishing for another chance to be alone with him and to replay the steamy affair.
But if Kerglan found out, he would surely kill us both. I had no doubt in my mind that he was the type who would think nothing of such an action. If his ego was on the line, he would do whatever he felt necessary to redeem himself.
“Yes,” Kerglan said. “And then we had to rescue the human.”
“I see,” Jadex said, eyeing me skeptically. I felt unnerved by his serious gaze and looked away quickly. Lazan seemed to sense my discomfort and cleared his throat loudly.
“So what is going on with the rescue? When will the ship be coming in to save us?”
Jadex sighed. “It will still be another week yet. But once it has come, before you know it we will be back on our home planet. Can you imagine how wonderful that will be?”
The Raithers all seemed to get a dreamy, far-away look in their eyes, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that was so captivating to them about their planet. I wanted nothing more than to return to Earth, so perhaps I would be able to relate, at least a little bit. The thought of my home planet always made me feel nostalgic.
But maybe if they were going to take me off of Hexa, I would be able to find a way to go to Earth. It was almost worth the time I had had to spend with Kerglan. Hopefully, he wouldn’t want to move things physically any further.
“A week will give us the time to prepare the ship for extraction. We cannot allow the psychotic beasts on this planet to get their hands on anything that might aid in their escape,” Lazan said thoughtfully.
“If even we cannot use this ship to escape, then what makes you think that the dumb brute creatures on this planet can?” Jadex said.
“The most dangerous creatures on this planet are not the big, scary creatures that jump out at you. It’s the ones who know how to plot. They lurk in the shadows, waiting to strike, and by the time they do, the damage is already done. You have all been careful, correct?” Lazan’s voice was serious as he looked from one crew member to another.
“Of course. So tell us then, what is it that you have discovered about this planet? You were exploring so long, there had to have been a purpose for it.”
A few of the crew members snickered, and Kerglan’s face grew tense. Lazan noticed this too and stood up from where he was seated around the fire.
“If there are any further questions about the terrain on this planet, we can discuss them later. The human has a frail system; it is unfair to keep her awake so late. Come, Kerglan. Let us help Mila settle in. She is your chosen mate after all.”
The way he said this made my stomach knot. I wanted just as badly as he did for that not to be true, but Kerglan couldn’t know about my true feelings. If he did, it would be hell for us both, and Lazan and I didn’t need whatever backlash might follow. Things were already complicated enough.
“Come now, human. We will show you to your room.”
***
That night I spent the night in an actual bed for the first time since I had been abducted. In the Petchuvian’s ship, we had all been forced to crowd together on the floor of the ship after being brought inside, and it had been extremely uncomfortable.
Here, within the Raither ship, there were many units that were small and private, and I was given the luxury of a room by myself. It was a relief to be away from the brothers, who had been brooding for far too long since our journey. Hopefully, some much needed time apart would give all three of us a fresh perspective. The stress of being lost on this planet of all places was bound to make anybody do crazy things and have crazy thoughts.
For some reason, even though I was incredibly comfortable, I was having a hard time sleeping. I had been mildly nauseated for a few days now, and eating had been difficult. The Raither food had been a nice change, but something in it apparently wasn’t agreeing with me, because the nausea was becoming more persistent. I didn’t want to bother the Raithers with my ailment, however. It seemed inconsequential, and I hardly trusted any of them.
Even Lazan, now that we were among his crew, was distant and hard to talk to, and no matter how much I wanted to be by his side, there was no way to make it a possibility. It was lonely, in a way, but the space apart was good. We would be able to collect our thoughts and give everything a nice examination in the morning light. Perhaps Kerglan would realize just how absurd it was that he had claimed me, considering I wasn’t even a person of his own species. It was worth hoping for. Maybe he was lying in his own little room regretting the act as much as I was beginning to regret sharing such an intimate and personal act with Lazan.
Another wave of nausea overpowered me, and suddenly I felt claustrophobic in the little room, almost as if I couldn’t breathe. I sat up quickly and made my way out of the ship, and into the small section of bushes that had been designated for me to escape to should my primitive human form need tending to. I heaved for a moment, nearly losing everything within my stomach, but nothing came out. I sighed. What a time to be getting sick. Everything was just starting to look up, and there I was, feeling as if I had just been hit by a truck.
“Human, are you all right?”
I stiffened at the sound of Lazan’s voice and turned just in time to see him step forward. His eyes were cast over in shadow, dubious and concerned. He was still in the habit of protecting me: unlike my chosen mate, who was probably sleeping soundly in his bunk without a care as to whether I was out there dry heaving or not.
“I will be fine, thank you, Lazan,” I said, secretly relishing in the chance to speak with him. I hadn’t realized how much I had been craving his presence, and now that he was here, some part of me seemed to feel better instantly.
“It is strange, being among so many again when we were just a few so recently,” Lazan said quietly.
“Yeah,” I agreed, looking down at the ground. It was hard to speak to him like this, kind of awkward. Both of us seemed to be thinking about the same thing: the ill-fated afternoon we had spent together when Kerglan had been away. When I finally looked back up at him, he was eyeing me, his multicolored eyes intense.
I gasped softly as his arms wrapped around my waist, and we kissed, deeply and tenderly. Every nerve in my body was awakened with longing as held his muscular body close to mine; I could feel every exciting movement he made against me, his muscles sending a little thrill through my body that was impossible to deny.
We heard a branch breaking and jumped apart suddenly, the abrupt sound bringing sense back into our minds. We had a death wish thinking that we could get away with something like this so close to the camp. And yet, it had been so impossible to resist the pull of Lazan’s body. I had overheard them talking about what happened to those who committed adultery in the Raither clans, and I could not let something like that happen to Lazan. My feelings for him had developed into a deep appreciation, almost a deep longing. It was hard to reconcile; the Raithers were so cool about their emotions that I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling at any given time.
When we parted, we were both panting softly, on the lookout for whoever it might have been that we heard approaching. At first, my instinct was to fear; we had been out in the dangerous forest for so long that I had gotten used to having every step riddled with danger.
We both relaxed visibly when we heard the hushed voices of two Raither crew members standing on the other side of the brush, speaking in low tones about what was going to happen when the ship came.
“I heard they are going to leave the commander on Yala and attempt the rescue mission without him. That seems unwise,” one man said.
“Yes, but if he has had a hand in instructing the mission, then all will be well. The Resha Federation is more than prepared to handle this sort of thing.”
We listened silently until we heard the men move on from their post, their voices carrying behind them in a gentle, indecipherable murmur. Finally, Lazan turned to me, his eyes capturing me with an intensity that made me burn for him.
“Good night, human,” he said, turning his back on me and marching away.
I watched helplessly, the longing for him nearly reaching a fevered pitch, but there was nothing I could do about it. Kerglan had claimed me, and that was the way it had to be.
***
The next two days drudged onward, and I wished more than anything that they would be over soon. Every time I came into contact with food of any kind, I wanted nothing to do with it and found myself covering my nose and mouth to protect myself from the smells.
“Some mate you chose for yourself there, Kerglan,” the crew would tease. “She won’t be able to stand your cooking. It is not too late; you could leave her on this planet to rot!”
Kerglan would laugh, but his eyes would rest upon me, serious and dark, and it made me uneasy. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the food. Actually, it was far superior to many of the dishes I had enjoyed on Earth. And yet, it still managed to make me nauseated.
At first, I thought it was just because Raither foods did not agree with my system, but I soon began to experience a tenderness in my breasts that made me think otherwise. Panic consumed me, and with a sudden, terrifying burst of realization, the truth became clear as day to me: I was pregnant.
There was no way that the Raithers would accept what had happened out in the wilderness; they would surely see that whatever child I gave birth to was of Raither descent, and since I hadn’t actually slept with Kerglan, it would become clear that Lazan had betrayed his brother. If they found out, they would surely want to seek revenge, and Lazan would not be allowed to leave.
I couldn’t let him lose his chance to return back to his planet. Whether he liked it as much as the others or not, it was still better than being trapped on Hexa for the rest of his life.
“Human, are you all right?” Lazan asked. He was looking at me from across the campfire, where we were all enjoying, or in my case, attempting to enjoy, our evening meal together. Kerglan had been oblivious to my moods ever since we had met, but I suddenly resented Lazan’s razor-sharp perception.
“I am all right,” I said. “I just haven’t been feeling well.”
A few of the crew members chuckled. “The human isn’t interested in this Raither food. Lazan, next time you ought to go pick her some fruits and berries so she will eat something. We don’t want her to waste away before Kerglan gets his chance to bring her to his bed.”
Everybody burst into raucous laughter: everybody, that was, except for Lazan and me. We exchanged a private look, each of us thinking exactly the same thing. I looked down at my plate quickly, and Lazan was forced to smile and chuckle along, as if he, too, thought the whole situation was a riot.
“Perhaps you should lie down then,” Lazan said once the laughter died down, rising from his seat. “Allow me to escort you to bed.”
Nobody batted an eye as Lazan and I walked away from the oblivious crew members. He followed me into the small room and closed the door, his eyes flashing with heat. I was suddenly consumed by another kiss: deep, languid, and urgent. It took my breath away, and I nearly began to cry. Because at that moment, I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to protect Lazan, at all costs. Even if that meant I might never make it home again.
“What is the matter, Mila?” Lazan asked, his handsome face concerned. “Are you still unwell?”
I nodded.
“I think I should just lay down now, in private,” I said softly, trying to choke back my tears. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if he saw me cry. There was no way I would be able to answer his questions.
“Good night then, human,” Lazan said, his eyes doubtful as he turned to leave. “Sleep well.”
I nodded, too choked up to even answer him.
I watched, for what I knew very well could be the last time, as Lazan walked away from me. I didn’t want to do it, but this seemed to be the only option. I closed the door softly behind him. Goodbye had never been so hard.