Jace sat in the hot tub, staring out over the city. The ability to see out from almost every room in his apartment was one of the main reasons he bought the place.

Granted, it’d also been a nice place to get away from Castle Rock and, from all the memories of Stacy. When he was having a hard day, it comforted him to look out and wonder about all the people in the city and what they were doing. For him, living in a city made him feel less alone.

“Hey.”

He turned and watched Addison walk slowly, cautiously into his room. He motioned her into the hot tub room. He’d purposely had it sequestered off because he didn’t like the moisture seeping into everything. She wore shorts and a T-shirt, but she’d pulled her hair up, and it made her round cheeks more pronounced. When he met her sky blue eyes, she smiled at him. There was a mole right above the right side of her lip. She was beautiful. Marilyn Monroe kind of beautiful, girl next door but movie-ish at the same time.

Walking in, she took a deep breath. “It’s uncovered?”

“I had the room designed this way. I wanted to be able to be outside and inside the hot tub at the same time.”

Looking around, she walked over to the hot tub. “It’s awesome.” She looked out over the city.

It pleased him that she liked it. This had been the main point of their jaunt into his apartment tonight, to help get her mind off of everything. Standing, he reached out to help her into the hot tub. “I was thinking you could sit there.” He pointed to a bench-like ledge. “It’s not deep and you can just dip your feet in and enjoy the night sky.” He probably didn’t have to walk her into the part of the hot tub where she could sit, but he didn’t want to take a chance she would slip.

After getting settled, he stayed next to her and couldn’t help but study her.

Playfully, she splashed him. “Why are you staring at me like that?” She gestured to the city. “When there’s a view like this?”

He didn’t take his eyes off of her. “Because you’re beautiful, Addison.”

Shaking her head, she turned to the city. “Jace, you don’t have to lie to make a pregnant woman feel good.”

Ignoring her last comment, he picked up one of her feet, took it between both of his hands, and began rubbing.

“Mmm.” Clearly, she couldn’t resist this.

He kneaded her soles and worked his way to the top and then her ankles. She complained about them being too big, but he didn’t think they were. He inspected them.

“What now?” she asked, sounding frustrated.

“Hey, you have cute ankles, okay?” When she tried to pull her foot back, he tightened his grip. “I know you’re pregnant, and I know they’re swollen, but you still have nice legs.”

Once again, their eyes connected. He wished he could explain to her how beautiful he thought she was. “Whatever.” She turned to the view.

For a few moments, he just focused on her feet. Then he decided to ask questions he’d never been brave enough to ask, but to which he badly wanted to know the answers. “Where did you meet Tim?”

She didn’t look at him. “On campus at CSU. Creative writing class.”

Figured. Jace hated being jealous of their history. “What did you like about him?” Had he been putting together a list of reasons she might have liked Tim? Especially today when he went through his things? Totally, and it was driving him crazy.

She sighed. “I don’t really want to do this.”

“Fine.”

“Unless you want to answer the same questions about Stacy.”

Jace’s mind whirled with possible questions she would ask and how he would answer. “Okay.”

“How did you meet?”

He sighed. “It was my first year at the Storm, coming out of CSU. We had just won a game, and she was at a party.”

“Oh,” was all she said.

“Honestly, I liked that she was a model. I liked how much she liked me. Looking back, I felt like I lost myself. I lost everything I’d believed in. I even lost my mother’s respect.”

Addison let out a light laugh. “Yeah, your mom did not like her.”

Jace felt himself relax a bit, talking about his mom. “She doesn’t have a hard time telling people what she thinks. She didn’t get along with Stacy at all. All the things my mom values—God, family, goodness, cooking—weren’t exactly Stacy.”

They sat there for a while, enjoying the hot tub.

“So, what was good about Tim?”

“What?”

“You’re helping people from other countries getting resettled into our country. You devote a lot of time and energy helping them. Did Tim do that too?”

A weird look passed over her face, and she turned away. “No. He didn’t. I … We fought about how I gave my time to those causes because Tim wanted to ‘focus on the business,’” she said, making air quotes. “Focus on making money. Focus on getting a better house, even though I bought the house with my mom’s insurance money after she passed.” She sighed. “I still live off of some of it. He wanted to invest the rest of it in his business, but I wouldn’t let him, and I’m glad I didn’t.”

Jace noticed how her voice caught in her throat, and his heart ached. He hadn’t realized this.

“I told you Tim didn’t want kids, but what I didn’t tell you was that we fought the night of the car crash. I was mad because he’d told me all day that he would put up the swing out in the yard. I had it in my mind that if I had a swing, I could hold the baby in it. He’d finally given in and put up the swing. We were on our way to Home Depot to get what we needed to fix things around the house and we were fighting. He told me he thought I got pregnant as a manipulation to distract him from the business.” She barked out a bitter laugh. “I was crying when we were hit.” She shrugged then turned back to him. “Now you know my secret. The one that makes me have nightmares. I killed my husband.”

“What?”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Did you hear what I said? It was my fault. He was distracted by me.”

Jace frowned, feeling as stern as his father. “That is not true. You have to know that. He could have been distracted by something in the road. By the song on the radio. By anything.”

She didn’t respond right away, and he saw tears in her eyes. “I hate it because I love this baby so much, and I just wish she had a father, but I don’t know what it would have been like even if Tim would have lived. Sometimes, I think maybe it’s better.” She let out a sob. “Then I feel horrible for feeling that way.”

Jace waited. Adrenaline pumped through him like he’d just run a fifty-yard route.

She wiped beneath her eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

He wanted to pull her into him and hold her, but he didn’t know if she would let him, so he moved next to her and took her hand instead.

She looked at their hands. “Jace, I really appreciate all you have been doing for me. All you are doing for me. But you’re not going to be able to fix this. You’re not going to be able to drive the ball to the end zone and win the game. This is my stuff. Stuff I’m working on, and I will work through it. Okay?”

Jace still wanted to do something, but he knew he couldn’t. “This isn’t me trying to fix things,” he said quietly. He thought about Stacy, all the times he’d ignored the signs of what was happening because he didn’t want it all to fall apart. “Honestly, I don’t know how to fix things.”

She squeezed his hand and then reached up and gently touched the five-o’clock shadow on his face. Holding still, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to kiss her so badly.

“You’re a good man, Jace. A great man, and just because you got messed over and you didn’t see it only means something good is coming to you.”

Jace wasn’t sure if it was the certainty in her eyes or the way her hand calmed the doubts buried deep inside of him, but he put his hand over hers and knew that he didn’t want to move to California. He didn’t want her to have this baby and then be alone. He wanted to be in her life. To have her baby be his baby. “Addison …”

She stood. “I need to get out.”

The words stuck in his throat.

She waved a hand into the air and turned to the door. “You stay.”

He didn’t want to take any chances with her and her condition. “No, I’ll walk you to your room. Then you can shower, and I’ll come tuck you in.”

“Will you watch a funny comedy with me?” she asked. They had started doing that instead of the crime stuff.

He wanted to tell her what he really wanted to do was kiss her, but he let it go. Did she even want that? This? Him? He pushed his desires aside. “You read my mind.” He smiled at her as he helped her out of the hot tub then walked soaking wet with her to the guest room.

She pulled away from him. “I’m fine. Go shower. Then you can check on me.”

He rushed back to his room and closed up the hot tub then shut up the room. Flying into the shower, he rushed through and hurriedly put on sweats and a T-shirt.

After he was done, he knocked at her door. She called out for him to enter. He went in and saw her on the bed, propped up with the pillow behind her. Her phone was out, and she was watching a show. Not asking, he jumped over her onto the bed and made himself comfortable next to her.

She laughed. “Well, make yourself at home. But I guess it is your home.”

He nudged her playfully, grabbed the remote off the bedside table, and turned on the television on the wall opposite her bed. “Hush, Livingston. I get to decide the funny show tonight. Turn off your phone.”

Complying, she turned to him. “Hmm.”

“Quiet.” He pointed at her. “It won’t be a crime one.” He located the best show ever and then used the same remote to dim the lights.

“Fancy.”

He winked at her. “The best.”

“I would be disappointed if it was anything else. I mean, you are Jace Harding—famous football player.” There was something in her voice that caught his attention and made him turn to look at her. “It’s crazy, isn’t it? That we’re friends?”

Wanting to tell her his feelings, but not knowing if she was trying to tell him something, he nodded and turned back to the television. “Uh, yeah.” With that, he started the show.

“The Three Stooges?” She groaned, but relaxed against him.

At one point he went to the kitchen and got them glasses of water and made popcorn. As they settled back in, he didn’t want to admit how good it felt to just be here with her, sitting in bed and watching the Stooges. He smelled her coconut shampoo and imagined what it would be like to have her be his wife. He took her hand. Not seeming to notice, she continued to watch.

He thought more about how different things would have been, for both of them.

“What?” she asked out of the blue.

He hadn’t realized she was watching him. He sighed. “Nothing.”

“Something,” she said and handed the popcorn back to him.

“I was just thinking what it would have been like.”

“Hmm?”

He didn’t care anymore; he had to tell her. “If you and I had been married.”

There was no way to describe how her whole body seemed to freeze at that statement. Then she pulled her hand back.

“Hey,” he said, taking her hand again. It felt cold all of a sudden.

“Jace,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I wonder if you’re just feeling bad for me. I know, you have a kind heart. Too kind, and I don’t want to be another Stacy, taking advantage of you in my vulnerable circumstance.”

His jaw tightened. “How could you even say that?”

She was already getting up. “I have to use the bathroom.”

He sat there, his heart pounding, angry that she would think she was taking advantage of him. He’d been the one to insist he stay with her.

Then he doubted himself. Did she even want him?