JADE
“Sounds like you had fun,” I said to my twin sister, Brooke, as we spoke on the phone the following evening.
My sister’s husband, Liam, had gotten a manager for his restaurant in Maine, and he and Brooke were traveling a lot. She’d just arrived home from a second honeymoon, even though they’d only been back from their first one a few days before the second one had taken place.
I was happy for her. She was in love and having the time of her life. Was it awful that talking to her sometimes made me feel incredibly lonely?
“The Caribbean was amazing,” Brooke answered. “You should go. You’d love it.”
“I have a beach right here,” I told her good-humoredly. “And I feel pretty damn lucky to live right on it now.”
“It’s still weird, right?” Brooke asked. “The money thing. We spent so many years being poor. Really poor. And now the world is wide open for all of us.”
“I’m still not used to it,” I confessed. “I know there are so many great things I could do, and so many experiences I could have. But I feel paralyzed by the money. I’m not quite sure where I should go from here. Until recently, my fellowship kept me so busy that I didn’t have time to think about it. But now that I’m done, I have a lot of time to feel terrified and guilty.”
“Sudden Wealth Syndrome,” Brooke said thoughtfully. “I was pretty confused at first, too. But Liam helps me stay grounded.”
“Is that really a thing?” I asked.
“Of course,” Brooke replied. “It’s something that can happen to anyone who suddenly comes into money—like lottery winners, athletes, movie stars, and people who get a large inheritance like we did. I researched it a lot after I found out about the money. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t ecstatic about having so much money. I guess I felt like I didn’t deserve it. Google it. It isn’t unusual to feel unworthy, guilty, isolated, and terrified about what to do with the money.”
Brooke had never really talked about questioning her own sudden wealth. She’d been way too happy about her impending marriage to the man of her dreams.
“I feel that way, too,” I confided. “But who can I really talk to about it? It seems ridiculous to confide in any of my friends. Who is going to understand that I’m freaked out by inheriting billions?”
“And I don’t suppose our brothers are really feeling guilty,” Brooke commented drily.
“Not a bit. They’re all planning their futures and working on building their own empires. I don’t think they’ve ever given it a second thought. I wish I could feel the same way and suddenly figure out what I want to do with my life, just like our brothers did. But I feel guilty and isolated now.”
The few friends I had were working their asses off to succeed. I’d been in their shoes just a short time ago, but I didn’t quite fit into that world now. I felt like they’d pretty much abandoned me since I’d suddenly become wealthy. It was like they didn’t think I was one of them anymore.
But I didn’t know where else I belonged.
It wasn’t like I’d really changed.
I was the same geek, who just happened to have an overinflated bank account now.
“It will just take time, Jade,” Brooke said in a soothing voice. “You don’t have to make any big decisions until you’re ready. You’re doing the things you love, and you’re finished with your education. Just keep doing what you’re doing. If your friends abandoned you, make new friends.”
Brooke didn’t really understand that I didn’t make friends that easily. But I decided not to point that out to her.
“I’ve sent out a ton of résumés and applications, but people aren’t exactly breaking down my door to hire me.”
“Give yourself a break,” Brooke answered, sounding exasperated. “You busted your rear for years to get through school, and you worked some of the world’s worst jobs just to get through your doctorate. Keep putting in applications and your résumé for the positions you want. In the meantime, enjoy your time without having to worry where your next meal is coming from.”
“I want to take over my own finances and investments, but I’m scared,” I shared with my twin. “Evan has been helping me, and he’s pretty much managing my portfolio. But I want to be involved. I’m just afraid I’ll screw everything up.”
“I know. I felt that way, too. But Liam is an incredible investor, and he’s been reassuring me. Plus, I have the financial education to figure it all out.”
“No rich guy in sight for me right now,” I joked lightly. “Just a lot of local guys who want to date my money.”
Brooke made a disgusted sound. “Ignore those jerks. You need to get into the big city more. You’ve always been too smart for any of the local guys.”
I smiled. “I guess you were, too, since you had to go across the country to find Liam.”
“He was worth it,” she said firmly. “There’s somebody out there for you, too, Jade. You just have to find him. Or he has to find you.”
“Well, until he shows up, maybe Eli can help me,” I said thoughtfully.
“Eli? You mean Eli Stone? The guy you can’t stand?” Brooke probed.
I hadn’t shared a lot with Brooke about Eli in the beginning, but after she’d gotten married, I hadn’t hidden anything from her.
“He bought out all of my survival classes so he could see me. What guy does that, Brooke?”
“I think a man who really, really likes you and doesn’t have a chance of you returning his phone calls,” Brooke teased.
“I don’t think he really likes me all that much. He just wants to screw me. We have this weird attraction to each other that I can’t explain.”
Brooke laughed. “Yeah. That’s how it was with Liam. And look how that turned out.”
“I found out he wasn’t really all that bad,” I said. “I actually like his sense of humor, but he’s a little . . . intense. But I finally decided to go out with him. I wouldn’t mind being his friend.”
“So where is he taking you?” Brooke asked excitedly.
“I have no idea. I’m spending ten days with him. Every day will be a surprise. When our ten days are over, he’s doing a fund-raiser for SWCF.”
“Does this ten-day deal include nights, too?” she asked.
I knew exactly what she meant. “No.”
“But he definitely likes you,” Brooke observed. “Look at everything he’s doing to get your attention.”
“Oh, he has my attention,” I answered. “I just don’t understand why he’s going to so much trouble for me. We’ve seen the kind of women he dates, Brooke. All of them are gorgeous and successful.”
“You’re gorgeous and successful, too,” she said firmly.
“I’m not in the same league as the women he dates, and you know it.”
“I love you dearly, Jade, but you need to loosen up. You have a rich, sinfully delicious man who wants to spend time with you. Just let go and have some fun.”
“I’m really attracted to him,” I said unhappily.
“What’s wrong with that? It will make every day a lot more exciting. I get that you don’t know if he’s the right guy for you, but you’ll never know until you hang out with him and get to know him. What we know about him is just a persona, an image created by the media. Find out who he really is. If he’s willing to arrange a fund-raiser for your charity, he obviously knows how much it means to you, and he’s willing to help.”
I understood what she meant. Our Sinclair half brothers and cousins had been rich since birth. Every one of them had a media image, but that wasn’t who they really were. For example, Evan was thought to be a complete prick. But we’d all come to know the real Evan, and he was nothing like the way he was portrayed.
“He wants to help me get comfortable with my money because he knows it kind of terrifies me. At least, that’s what he told me. He wants to show me how to live in that world and like it.”
“Perfect,” Brooke replied. “And at least you know he definitely isn’t after your money.”
I smiled. “That’s one thing I don’t have to worry about. Maybe that’s why it’s so appealing. But don’t start thinking this is going to be a long-term thing. I’m not going to end up married to Eli Stone. He’s not into commitments. I’m just . . . experimenting. I’m hoping maybe I can learn some things from him. I’d love to have his expertise in fund-raising.”
“You want his hot, ripped, gorgeous body, even with the tattoos,” she contradicted me.
“I’m not after his body,” I muttered. “But the tats are actually kind of mesmerizing in person.”
“Come on, Jade. You’re talking to your twin. You want more than just his brain.”
“Who wouldn’t?” I asked her. “Brooke, you know what he looks like. And take it from me, he’s even hotter up close and personal.”
“But chemistry will only carry you so far,” she warned. “No matter how good he looks, the attraction will wear off if you don’t like him.”
“That’s the problem,” I replied. “I do like him. He’s kind of pushy and arrogant, but he seems like a decent guy once you get past all that arrogance.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Jade,” Brooke said softly. “You have a lot to offer any guy. Even a smoking-hot billionaire.”
“I hate feeling so damn inadequate,” I said. “I never felt this way when I was poor. I knew who I was and what I wanted to be. I was going to be a researcher and discover ways to keep some species from going extinct. But then the money happened, and none of the jobs I really wanted have come my way. Being rich allowed me to refuse the positions I didn’t want, and I have no desire to teach in a classroom. I’d go crazy, Brooke.”
“You would,” she agreed. “You wouldn’t have been happy. And there’s nothing wrong with waiting to figure out what you want. There’re no positions you want in San Diego?”
“There are plenty of them,” I told her. “But none that are available right now.”
I’d completed a postdoc fellowship studying the genomes that were vulnerable to extinction in large mammals. I’d produced a lot of published studies that had gotten great responses, but a position to continue my studies had never panned out.
“I’m sorry, Jade,” Brooke responded. “I know how much you want to keep researching, but it might take some time.”
“It seems I have plenty of that,” I teased halfheartedly.
“You can pretty much do whatever you want,” she answered.
I was starting to feel bad because I was such a downer for Brooke when she was so happy. “I’ll be patient. At least I don’t have to just take something in order to work, thanks to our windfall. I’ll keep volunteering so I can network more.”
“You deserve this rest, Jade. Remember that,” Brooke said adamantly. “We went hungry as kids, and every one of us worked to bring in money as soon as we were old enough. You busted your ass to get somewhere. It doesn’t matter that you got lucky with the money. You’ll be successful because you’ve always been driven. Maybe none of us expected to end up quite this rich, but we’ve worked hard since we were kids. Martin Sinclair was our father, and he left our mother destitute while he lived a life of gluttony. Bastard children or not, we deserve to join the rest of our family and to get back what we never had when we were younger.”
I sighed. “Sometimes I wish the money would just go away and I could go back to how things were before. I’d probably be working in a government job of some kind by now. I would have found a full-time gig as soon as I could, even if it wasn’t in my area of interest or expertise. But now I feel like I’m in limbo.”
“It will go away, Jade,” Brooke said. “I know it all seems weird right now, but you’ll figure it all out in time. Don’t push yourself too hard. Evan will handle your portfolio as long as you want.”
“I know. But I feel like I should be doing more than I am right now.”
“Because we’re all used to being so busy we don’t have time to think,” Brooke explained. “But that’s never been healthy for any of us. We all need some balance. Have fun with Eli. And if you sleep with him, I need to know immediately,” she teased.
“I’m not going to go to bed with him,” I said hastily. “I guess I’m just hoping for some enlightenment. Eli has been rich his entire life, and he got a whole lot richer after his father passed away. He’s a good businessman.”
“He’s a gorgeous billionaire,” she corrected. “And I think you want more than an educational experience. I’ll be dying to find out how it’s going.”
“I’ll keep you posted,” I promised.
“Are you going to be okay?” Brooke asked. “Do you want me to fly home so we can spend some time together?”
“That would make Liam my enemy,” I joked. “No, thanks. I like my new brother-in-law. And I’ll be fine. I’m just a little bit overwhelmed, but I’ll work it out.”
“You know that I’m always going to be there for you, right? Even though I’m married now, I’m still your twin sister.”
I blinked back the tears that sprang to my eyes.
Brooke might be far away, but our twin bond was ever-present. “Thanks. Maybe I needed to hear that. But I’ll be fine.”
I had no doubt that if Brooke thought I needed her, she’d drop everything to be here. It was a comforting thought. But I wasn’t about to drag her away from her new husband.
“I love you,” Brooke said tearfully.
“I love you, too,” I answered as a tear hit my cheek.
“Call me,” she insisted. “I have to know how your experiment is working out.”
We talked for a few more minutes, and then hung up with the promise to call each other more often.
I relaxed as I hung up the phone. I’d been missing Brooke, and because of her travels, we hadn’t had a lot of time to talk. But I should have realized that none of my siblings, no matter how busy, were ever going to forget how much we meant to each other.
We’d all grown up as a group, fought for each other, and because we were all together, we flourished as people despite being poor.
My mood elevated after my short pep talk, and I rose from my couch to go put things together for the morning. Eli had texted me to let me know that I needed to bring a swimsuit and dry clothing.
My heart skittered as I pictured his face the morning after I’d practically blabbed out every emotion I was feeling into the darkness the night before.
His gray eyes had remained fixed on me until we’d departed from the cabin, but he hadn’t appeared to get any less fierce since hearing about all my insecurities. In fact, I sensed that he somehow wanted to protect me from something.
Unfortunately, the thing I actually needed to be shielded from was him.