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Even the Darkest Stars by Heather Fawcett (31)

I SCRAMBLED BACK down the rock below the witch king’s grave, my knees wobbly, my breathing uneven. I was traveling too quickly; as I lifted my foot, my boot caught, and I lost my grip. I slid down the last few feet, scraping my palms, not even bothering to arrest my fall. I came to a stop finally, and lay there on my side. I had no desire to get up again. I turned my face into the snow, my shoulders heaving with my sobs.

I had gathered Ragtooth’s small body into my pack, unable to bear the thought of leaving him in that forsaken place. Now I clutched the pack to my chest, howling. My tears were for Ragtooth, but they were also for Lusha. For Tem. For my father. For myself. I had failed. And now we were all lost.

Finally, there were no tears left. My breath came in ragged pants as I stared blindly at the sky. I felt as if I could lie there until the snow and ice covered me, as it had covered Mingma’s broken body. Biter alighted on a rock nearby, croaking, but I paid him no notice.

Then something warm brushed the top of my head. Something with a long snout that seemed to exhale pure heat, almost too hot to bear. Slowly, I sat up and turned to face Azar-at.

The fire demon cocked its head at me. No help for sorrow, brave one, it said. Best to carry on. This is not a place for lingering.

I recoiled, my disgust so strong it was like a living thing twisting in my stomach. “Go away.”

It is over, the fire demon murmured. Nothing more to do here. Best to leave, help friends. Friends are waiting for you—

“Go away!” I screamed. My voice echoed off the mountainside, and came back to me in broken fragments.

Azar-at fell silent, but it did not leave my side. Warmth radiated from its body. I felt myself shivering as the feeling returned to my hands and face. I hadn’t noticed how chilled I was.

“Why are you here?” I said, every inch of me despising the creature. I wasn’t afraid anymore—let it kill me, see if I cared. Let it snatch me up in its jaws and break me as it had broken Ragtooth. “Did you stay to gloat?”

Gloat?

“The spell is broken,” I said. “The witches are free. Free to destroy the Empire, and everything in their path. Your plan worked.”

Not my plan. The fire demon tilted its snout back to sniff the air. River’s plan. I care nothing for spells and schemes. I merely help my friends.

I laughed, a cold, empty sound. “Yes, I’ve seen where your help leads. People will die because of what you’ve done. Does that make you happy?”

Death is a human notion, Azar-at said. I do not understand your question.

I made a frustrated noise. “Of course not. Fire demons don’t answer questions, do they? They share power, not wisdom. That’s what the stories say.”

Azar-at only cocked its head at me, tail wagging gently, looking for all the world like a dog eager to please. I shoved my fingers into my hair, digging them into my scalp so hard I could feel the strands tear. Think, I commanded. Think.

What’s wrong, brave one?

“What’s wrong?” I let out another dead laugh. “What’s wrong is that I have to do something. But I can’t. I can’t even get myself off this mountain, let alone—”

Let alone? What must you do?

“I don’t know,” I cried. “I have to stop this somehow. What if the witches attack Azmiri? What if they hurt my family?”

Azar-at whined. That would be sad. Witches must not harm them.

My eyes narrowed. “Why do you care? In case you don’t remember, you’ve already murdered someone I love.”

For River. To help my friend. I care about you. You are my friend too.

At those words, Yonden’s warning echoed through my thoughts. A cold shiver traced its way down my back.

“I would rather die.” My voice was flat.

You need me. Something changed in the fire demon’s tone. It became low, soft. You need a friend, Kamzin.

I turned away, wishing I could block that strange, silken voice from my mind. “No.”

Think about it. I could grant you power—power greater, perhaps, than what I granted River. For even though we forged a mighty partnership, he is a witch, and fire demons clash with witches as smoke does with shadow. But you—you could be great. You could save your friends down below. You could fight witches, protect your village, protect the emperor himself. You could do whatever you wished.

“And you would help me?” I gazed at Azar-at, disbelief mingling with my disgust. “Even if what I asked went against what River would want? We’re not on the same side, you know.”

The fire demon’s tail stopped wagging briefly, then started again.

I do not understand sides, it said. I help my friends.

“I can’t believe I’m even talking about this.” I rubbed my hands over my face and stood. “I will not make a contract with a fire demon. I’m not as mad as River. Biter—come.”

I limped off, moving only slightly more steadily than before. My muscles were straw, my head ached with pain and dehydration, my ankle was a red-hot mass. I had no food, no water, no medicine. There was no way, the logical part of my brain knew, that I could make it back down the mountain, no way I could rescue Lusha and Tem.

But the logical part of my brain was not in control now. I kept walking, feeling as if I had been hollowed out.

The fire demon fell into step beside me. You saw how my contract with River ended, it said. It is not a trick. We could end our agreement at any time. You would have only to say the words, and I will be gone.

I forced a dismissive laugh. It sounded false to my own ears. My heart was thudding again, and my thoughts had begun to race.

What Azar-at said was true. River had ended the contract when he no longer needed it. Was it truly that easy?

How will you help your friends, Kamzin?

Tem’s face rose in my mind, creased with weariness and pain. I saw Lusha hunched over her broken ankle. I shivered and stopped walking. Biter croaked softly.

“I’ve never been good at anything,” I murmured. I wasn’t sure if I was speaking to Azar-at or myself. “Except this. Climbing. Mapping. Exploring. But I have to be good at more than that, if I’m going to be any use to Lusha or Tem. Or anyone.”

The fire demon’s tail wagged faster. Then you agree to the contract.

“I haven’t agreed to anything,” I snapped. “If I was even going to consider this, you would have to accept my conditions. You might not want anything to do with me, after you hear them.”

Please, Azar-at said, tell me.

“One, you will not lie to me,” I said. “If I ask you a question—any question—you will answer honestly. Is that clear?”

I would never lie to my friends.

“Is that clear?” I said, emphasizing each word.

The fire demon paused. Yes.

“Two, you will leave when I ask you to,” I said. “No matter when that happens. No matter how it happens. Our contract will end when I wish it to end.”

I said that—

“I know what you said, and I also know that you like to twist words,” I said. “So I’m straightening them out for you. Do you agree?”

Yes, Kamzin.

“Three,” I went on, “you must not hurt anyone I care about. Not even if I ask you to.”

You would never hurt your friends.

“I might.” I swallowed, recalling how River had looked, the chill in his gaze. “If I give you enough of my soul, I might stop caring about the things I care about now. I don’t know for certain. But I won’t let you turn me into a monster. That will never happen.”

The fire demon was silent for a long moment. I agree to your conditions.

I glanced at Biter. The raven croaked, his tail feathers twitching. “I know,” I said to him. “But I can’t think of anything else to do.” Hopelessness threatened to overwhelm me. But it was a reckless sort of hopelessness, a feeling that skittered inside me like a captive insect, and made the blood thrum in my veins. “I won’t be powerless. I won’t feel the way I felt back there with River, not ever again.”

The raven cocked his head, regarding me.

I began to pace. If I accepted Azar-at’s power, I could save Lusha and Tem. Not only that—I could return to Azmiri, and battle the witches myself. For I didn’t doubt there would be a battle. Even if the witches didn’t strike Azmiri, Father would never allow them to pass through the Amarin Valley into the Empire. He would stand between them and their path to the Three Cities. Without great power on his side, he would die.

And as for my soul—

I saw black fire sweeping the village, heard the anguished screams. What use would I have for a soul, if everyone I loved was dead?

I turned back to the fire demon. “Azar-at, I accept your offer.”

Immediately, I felt a strange tugging sensation somewhere around my navel. Or heart—it was hard to be certain. I gasped, stumbling forward. In the same moment, the fire demon disappeared, melting into a column of liquid flame that crackled and sparked. I bit back a cry as the cloud drifted toward me. Little bolts shivered off, striking the snow, which melted with a sizzle. I thought, for a moment, that I saw a terrible, grinning face at the center of the column, with a gaping mouth of fangs and eyes as black as emptiness. But then it was gone, and the cloud had enveloped me. The tugging sensation dissolved into wrenching pain—but before I could even draw breath to scream, it was gone, leaving me half in doubt that it had ever been. When the light faded, I found myself hunched over in the snow, my hand pressed against my chest. Azar-at sat in the same place, tail still wagging, as if nothing had happened.

But I knew it had.

I stood slowly, trying to judge where this new feeling of strangeness, of imbalance, emanated from. But I couldn’t place it. Biter croaked softly.

“I’m all right,” I said, “I think.” I turned to Azar-at. “I don’t want the others to know.”

Azar-at seemed to ponder this. As you wish, Kamzin.

I took a deep breath, gazing at the landscape before me, the snowy slopes touched with fire from the newly risen sun. Somewhere, in the still-shadowed curve of Mount Raksha, Lusha and Tem waited for me. And somewhere in the distance, in an equally shadowy and terrible corner of the land, the witches were awakening to a new day. A new world.

“All right,” I said, setting my jaw. “Let’s go home.”