THIRTY-THREE

Hooch

The answer can’t be so simple. A woman with no special skill, no particular tie to any of our allies or enemies, a woman with nothing to give me but herself. Isn’t that the most special gift of them all, though? I guess. But am I worthy of it?

All I can do is hope to prove that I am.

“You okay?” I give her a smile as she jostles and rolls on my hips while I walk us inside.

“Yeah,” she half laughs. “Strangely enough I am.”

I pause long enough to place a quick kiss to her soft lips, and then open the door with one hand before maneuvering us through the narrow doorway. She begins to fidget the closer we get to where the entrance hall opens out to the heart of the industrial building: the common room.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Her lips twitch in a small smile as her fingers tease the lengths of my hair. “Maybe you should put me down.”

“Give me a good reason to.”

“Because it’s kind of embarrassing.”

I drop her to the floor a couple of yards short of the entrance to the common room, and promptly pen her against the wall with my forearms leant either side of her head. “Why?”

She shrugs, failing miserably to look anywhere that doesn’t involve me. I’m all over her, in front of her, around her, and exactly where I want to stay.

“I guess I’m not used to PDA is all.”

I chuckle, my overgrown hair falling forward as I duck my chin. “You better get used to it, Dee, because there’s no way you’re gonna stop me from lettin’ every one of those fuckers in there know—including one in particular—that you belong to me.”

“What did you call me?” Her eyes twinkle in the soft hall light.

“I said you were mine?”

“No.” She smirks. “Not what you said. What you called me.”

It takes me a minute to realize what it was. “Dee?”

“I like that. Nobody’s really given me a nick name before.”

“Darn sight fuckin’ easier than twistin’ my southern tongue around your whole name.”

Her eyes narrow in challenge. “That so, Josiah?”

“Get my drift?” I smile back. Fuck—I haven’t smiled this much in years. “What’s wrong with fairy, though?”

She shrugs. “I don’t like being reminded how small and fragile I can be.”

“That’s not why I called you that.”

Her eyes find mine. “It’s not?”

I shake my head, and then kiss the top of her head. “It’s because you’re magical. There’s something about you. Something I picked up on, even when I was first being an asshole to you. In fact, it’s probably why I was an asshole to you.”

“Because you didn’t like it?”

“Because I thought I didn’t need it.”

She pushes up in the space between us, slow and careful. I lean down, my shoulders hunching as I strain to meet her short height. But it’s worth the discomfort. Fuck is it worth it.

She doesn’t just kiss me. The connection is so much more. For her, such a guarded heart, to offer this vulnerability to me … I don’t discount what that means, not one single bit.

“How about we ease into our PDAs, then?” she asks after I finally relent and let her go. “You can put your arm around my shoulders or something.”

I suck in a sharp breath between my teeth, grimacing as I tease her. “You sure? That might give it all away.”

Her small hand hits me solidly in the chest. “Shut up.”

“It’s too easy.” I step back, offering her my hand. “Ready?”

“Just promise me one thing?”

“Fire away.”

“You’ll do what you say and keep me safe?” She glances up at me from under her lashes and I almost come undone right there and then. “I played it down, but Digits’ messages did make me worry.”

“You think I was kiddin’ around about that?” When I love something, I protect it with all I’ve got. It’s just that so far all I’ve had to love is my family. Yet I’m pretty sure the loyalty would stay the same.

“No, I don’t think you were kidding,” she answers, tugging at my hand. “But I didn’t really give you the full story about Digits before either.”

“I’m listening.”

She flexes her hand, and I realize I’m crushing it just thinking what she might say. I let go completely before I hurt her when she does actually speak.

“I played down how he made me feel because I could see you were both getting really angry with just the messages.”

“What else has he been doin’?” Fucker better not be where I can find him if he knows what’s good for him.

She tips her head side to side, sucking on her bottom lip. “I still don’t want to start a fight, Hooch.”

“If you’ve got it in your head that you’re causin’ trouble just because you’re an ‘outsider’ and he’s one of my brothers, then quit it. I don’t give a fuck how long a man’s been in my club; you treat a woman, especially one I care a great deal about, like this, history means nothin’.”

“But wouldn’t the rest of your club hold it against me?” she pushes. “Until now, you were united, and now—”

“Now nothing,” I stress. “Babe, our chapter was fucked years ago. We’ve been climbin’ out of the shit, but it’s a slippery slope and every now and again, we slide backwards.”

“So I wouldn’t be disturbing the peace, so to speak?”

“Far from it.” I reach out and tuck her hair behind her shoulder. “You’re just shinin’ a light on the cracks so we can see them.”

It’s not enough; I can see it in the firm set of her lips, the hard line of her brow. She’s been the cause of conflict in the past, and the thought of doing it again tears at those memories.

“You know what’s different now?” I ask.

She shakes her head, fussing with my cut.

“Even if one of those fuckers does get a bee in his bonnet about this shit, you ain’t in it alone.”

Her chin lifts, and she tries to smile.

“You got me to walk with you, babe. Any of those guys in there have issue with me reprimanding an officer for his behavior, they take it up with me. Okay?”

“Okay. I guess.”

I run a hand over my face, trying for another angle. “If I don’t call Digits out on what he did, what kind of message do you think that gives him?”

“That it’s okay?”

“Right. And what then? How many more girls is he going to emotionally blackmail before it’s enough?”

She nods, her shoulders more firm now that she’s coming on board with what I have to do. “I see your point.”

“We’ll do it properly; in Church when we’re back in Fort Worth.”

“Church?” She frowns, tipping her head to the side.

Not from this life, remember? “Our meetings,” I explain. “It’s referred to as church in most MCs. The meeting room is called the chapel.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember Beth saying that the week I was there.”

I nod. “They just don’t call it that here because they had a religious guy years ago who took offence to a room where wars are planned being likened to where he went to pray.”

She smirks. “Figures.”

“What you say then, fairy? You with me?”

Her hand rests against my cheek, and I lean into her touch, holding eye contact with this petite enigma.

“Yeah, I’m with you.”

“Good.” I lean in and take her mouth, pushing a little harder than before and sweeping her tongue with mine.

She sighs into the kiss, giving me life as I suck her breath into my lungs, relishing that little part of her inside of me. With my eyes closed, I lift my hand and blindly feel out her shoulder, drifting my touch across her collarbone to rest at the base of her throat. Her kiss stalls, and then continues with more urgency and she pushes off the wall and into me.

I hold her against my body, promising so much in that gesture: safety, security, and most of all, surety. If there’s one thing in life I want her to be able to depend on, to know will always be there for her, it’s me.

I’ve lived that philosophy in my leadership of the Fort Worth boys, given them my undivided loyalty and devotion. But this … it’s my most important charge yet. Nothing can compare to somebody trusting you with everything they’ve got. Nothing. And I’m yet to have that with a woman outside of my sisters.

Family is great. But life partners are where the rewards are at. I’ve seen it. I want it.

I’ve found it.

Fuck the fact I’ve only known her for a short time—she’s already proved herself ten times over. I want her there beside me, every step I have left before my time is up. Every single step.

“If we don’t stop ourselves now,” she says with a blush as I let her come up for air, “then your pals in there will get more than they bargained for.”

I nod, stepping back and adjusting the obvious reaction in my jeans. I’m not fazed by the idea of somebody seeing what we’re doing—been there, sailed that ship—it’s the thought of somebody seeing her so intimately that sets my skin on fire.

“Guess we better take this to bed then.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her, and she rewards me with the sweetest laughter.

I’ve never heard her laugh until now. Chuckle, yeah. Give a little grunt of amusement, plenty. But her laugh? Now that’s something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

“Show me the way, then. Before I change my mind.”

“Uh-uh.” I wave my index finger at her. “There ain’t no take backs, so you better hang on and enjoy the ride, sweetheart.”

Pretty sure I’m going to.