CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
DAMON
As soon as Maddox and Stacy are out the door, I begin to sweat.
“What’s going on, you two?” Mom asks.
“It’s nothing,” Eric says.
“Bullshit it’s nothing,” Dad growls.
“Guys, stop,” I say. I love my family, but they’re all overprotective of me. It’s a King trait. Stacy may make inappropriate jokes, but she’s always the first one to defend me. Even when I ask her not to. My parents are close behind her. They’re awesome for it, but sometimes I need them to back off.
“He kissed me,” Eric says.
Kill. Me. Now. “Actually, you kissed me.” And you liked it. Yeah, don’t say that.
“When was this?” Denise, Eric’s mother, asks.
I exhale loudly. “A year ago. It’s over, guys. We don’t need to talk about it.”
“Is that why you two haven’t been as close like when you were kids?” Mom asks.
“No. We’re not close because he doesn’t like the fact I’m gay,” I say. “Things haven’t been the same between us since I came out in high school.”
“You came out in college,” Mom says.
“Not to him.”
“Because you had a thing for me,” Eric says.
This is what shits me off—he has a point. Any other straight guy, I could call bullshit. The only two straight guys I’ve had a crush on were Eric and Maddox, and it turned out Maddox wasn’t so straight after all. Any other guy, I could call them out for being narrow-minded and conceited. But the truth is, I spent most of my teenage years fantasizing about the stupid jerk that is Eric. That doesn’t mean I ever acted on it. Or hinted. Or fucking manipulated him. I was overly conscious not to do any of that, because I didn’t want anyone to know how I felt.
My cheeks heat. No one says anything, and I get the impression everyone at the table suspected my crush even if I did try to hide it. Maybe I sucked at covering it up, and that in itself could be seen as an act of manipulation on my part.
Stacy and Maddox arrive back at the table, and Stacy hugs me from behind. “I’m soooo sorry,” she whispers.
“I know,” I reply and pat her hand.
Eric leans forward in his seat. “Look, it happened a long time ago, and we’re both over it. We didn’t tell you because we knew something like this could come between us all. There’s no lines being drawn here. No sides.”
My parents turn on their best friends who they’ve known for over thirty years. “I think you understand if we leave dinner here for the night,” Mom says in a polite tone that doesn’t sound anything like how she normally talks to her friends.
“Mom, Dad,” I say, “don’t let this get between our families. With all due respect, I appreciate you guys sticking up for me, but it’s between me and Eric. I’ve pretended he doesn’t exist for over a year now. I can keep doing it. Don’t ruin an otherwise great thing because of me.” I don’t think I’ve gotten through to them. They remain stoic. With a sigh, I turn to Maddox. “Looks like we’ll be eating the dinner you cooked after all. Let’s get out of here.”
“Gladly,” he says.
“I’m coming too,” Stacy says.
“Stace, can I crash with you tonight?” Julian asks. “I wanna go with you guys.”
“Sure.”
This is not how I wanted this conversation to go—I didn’t want this to happen at all.
Solidarity. Sometimes it’s the best thing in the world, but this time, it’s making me feel like shit.
***
“Are you okay?” my sister asks on the walk back to my apartment.
“I’m fine,” I snap.
“Yeah, sounds it.”
“You two didn’t need to come for moral support,” I say to her and Julian.
“Eric can spout all he wants about no lines being drawn or sides being taken,” Julian says, “but that’s exactly what happened back there.”
“Don’t turn on your brother for me,” I say.
“How can you say that?” Stacy yells.
“Because I can deal with homophobia. It happens. It’s been happening to me since I came out. It’s part of being born this way.”
“Now who’s quoting Lady Gaga?” Maddox mumbles.
I ignore him. “Maybe Eric is confused or bi-curious, or maybe he’s just an ass. But say he is confused. Say he has been for a long time. We all practically outed him back there and then walked out on him. Real supportive.”
Julian stops dead in his tracks. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh, shit is right,” I say. “I don’t like what Eric did, and I will probably hate him forever for making me doubt myself, but I’d never wish what happened back there on him. Not ever. I don’t care if he’s the one who technically started it. No one deserves that. I can’t be the one to be there for him, but you can. Go support your brother, asshat.”
“You don’t mind?” Julian asks.
“Thanks for backing me, I appreciate it, but this isn’t a game of taking sides. Besides, I have to torture my sister for setting up this ridiculous dinner in the first place to try to scare my boyfriend off.” I turn to Maddox. “Did she succeed?”
“Fuck no,” Maddox says. He steps forward and brings his mouth to mine in a soft kiss.
“Okay, that’s weirder to see than I thought it would be,” Stacy says. “Not because you’re two guys, but because my best friend is kissing my brother.” She shudders.
“Boyfriend, huh?” Maddox asks me.
“Unless the label freaks you out. I know you’re not a fan of those.”
“I like the boyfriend label.” He kisses me again.
“Have a good night, guys,” Julian says, and Maddox and I pull apart. “Stace, we going out one weekend soon? Party it up old-school style.”
Stacy’s face lights up. “With wine coolers, cheap chasers, and horrible dance music? I’m in.”
“I want in too,” Maddox says.
“I’m out,” I say.
“You’re no fun,” Julian says.
“He never has been,” Stacy says.
“Catch ya next family gathering,” Julian says.
“If there is a next one,” I say as he backtracks to the restaurant.
We continue to walk, the mood a little lighter than it was. “You should’ve said something sooner,” Stacy says.
“Sure. Mom, Dad, your best friends’ son is a bigot, but I suspect it’s because he likes guys. Thought you’d like to know.”
Stacy stops walking again. It’s going to take all night to get back to my apartment at this rate. “Damon. No one should be forced into enduring his behavior. I don’t care how close our parents are or how confused he is.”
Frustration bubbles out of me. “He has issues he needs to deal with. They’re his issues. Not mine.”
“But when they affect your ability to have a relationship—”
“Does it look like it’s affecting us?” I wrap my arm around Maddox.
“It did in the beginning,” she states.
“How much did you tell her?” I whisper in his ear.
“Stace. Drop it, okay?” Maddox says. “We’re great. Damon had more issues than just Eric—like my inability to commit to anyone. He thought I was just looking for a hookup. And yet, tonight, I openly admitted to being in a relationship. I’d say we’re more than good. So much so, I’m tempted to walk you home to your own apartment.”
She screws up her face. “TMI.”
“All I said was apartment,” he argues.
“But I know what you’re implying. Can I at least come back for dinner? I’m starving, and Maddox’s cooking is awesome.”
I wrap my other arm around my sister. “Come on then.”