If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up from it. For a lot of reasons, but mainly for the fact there was nothing like waking up next to this man. I’d only gotten to experience it twice before and that was not nearly enough.
Part of me was so shocked that I’d been in a deep enough sleep that he’d been able to move me without my knowledge. I tried to picture what he’d done when he returned home. Obviously he’d undressed first, and I could tell he had pajama bottoms on, because I could feel the soft, worn cotton against my bare legs. He must’ve scooped me up and carried me into his bedroom. I didn’t know if he’d placed me as close to him as I was or if I’d snuggled up to him. Either way, there wasn’t any space between us, and his hand rested on my hip.
My heart ached, and as I lay there, listening to the soft snore, I realized how badly I wanted this. Not just with anyone, but with him. Despite the messy past between us, and everything that needed to be spoken, he . . . he was still taking care of me.
That spoke of the kind of man he was. Decent and kind to his very core, and there were so very few men like that.
And Reece truly was a beautiful man.
Features relaxed in sleep, there was an openness about him that was rarely seen when awake. There was always an aura of concentrated power, and it was there even while he slept. I didn’t think it was because he was a cop. It was just something innate in him, like a second skin.
Full, well-formed lips parted, I resisted the urge to run my thumb over his lower lip. It was even harder to deny the need to kiss him, because I really wanted to feel those lips against mine again.
His skin was warm and smooth under my hand, and I knew I needed to get my butt out of this bed before I did something wholly inappropriate, like slip my hand down under the band of his pajama bottoms.
Carefully, I eased away from him, and rose from the bed. Finding my sweater on the edge, I slipped it on and tugged it close, immediately missing the warmth of his body. Not wanting to wake him since it was still early and he couldn’t have been asleep that long, I crept out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me.
The apartment was tomb silent as I walked back out to the living room. Remembering he had a balcony, I opened the French doors and stepped outside. I dragged in the late-morning air and looked around. The balcony faced a wooded area and was rather private.
Reece gardened.
Or someone did.
Flower boxes hung off the wrought-iron railing, full of pretty pink and purple flowers. There were two green stands, and a bushy fern hung in the corner, out of the sunlight. Two wide wicker chairs were positioned close together.
I tucked my legs along the side and huddled down in the comfy chair. I couldn’t believe how cool it was. When I really thought about how quickly the seasons changed, it blew the mind.
My mind wandered as I sat there. I couldn’t remember if I had grabbed my glasses before I’d left my place. Didn’t really matter since I didn’t have my car. I’d have to go back to my place to get it before I headed into work later tonight.
Back to my place.
I shivered and it had nothing to do with the cooler temps. I almost couldn’t believe it—I was being stalked. Freaking stalked. Me. I shook my head slightly. That’s what was happening. I no longer could joke that it was Casper the Pervy Ghost, and barring some kind of memory disorder, it was someone sneaking into my apartment while I was there. Deleting texts while I was in the shower. Taking pictures of me. Out of everything, those were the two creepiest things ever. But even worse was the fact I really had no idea this was what was happening. I couldn’t even begin to imagine that, or who it could be.
There was Dean, and while he was persistent, he didn’t strike me as a psycho. Unless it was a stranger—the man responsible for what was happening to the other girls—who was doing this, and that was even more horrifying. He could be coming in the bar every night for all I knew. I could be talking to him, smiling at him.
Oh my God, that was horrifying to even imagine. It made me not want to step foot out of my apartment, except my apartment wasn’t even safe. Geez. I squeezed my eyes shut. What was I going to do? I hated the idea of changing my whole life over some freak who was a virtual ghost to me.
Then again, the ghost of my past had changed my entire life. I did and didn’t do things all because of what happened with Charlie. That was a sobering realization I wasn’t nearly awake enough to really delve into.
A thought snuck into my head. Maybe it was someone I knew. Not Dean. Not some guy I dated. Maybe it was someone who just recently came back into my life—an unwanted recent addition.
Henry Williams.
The idea didn’t make a lot of sense, but when we were in high school, he was a bit of a creeper. A handsome guy, but a creeper nonetheless. Maybe he wasn’t satisfied with screwing up Charlie’s life. Maybe he wanted to drive me crazy. Honestly, it sounded
insane—as insane as someone breaking into my apartment and taking a picture of me.
I opened my eyes just in time to see a brown bunny rabbit bounce across the lawn below, into the tree line. Well, I guessed it was a rabbit. It was kind of a brown blur. Could’ve been an opossum for all I knew.
Criminy, I couldn’t believe I was at Reece’s place. I just couldn’t let myself read too much into it. Tucking my hair back, I blew out a tired sigh. Even in the silence, surrounded by bouncing bunnies and pretty flowers, it was hard to really grasp what I felt for Reece. My feelings for him were tangled into a web of our past and our present. Lust cultivated over years and . . .
I couldn’t even think it.
Where I could admit I cared for him strongly—I had for a long time—love was scary. I learned that with Charlie. I loved that boy more than anything, and seeing him hurt had killed a part of me when I was sixteen and still was killing me. I couldn’t fall for Reece, not fall that deeply. Not when going to work every day could mean he could be harmed or worse. I flinched, but that was the truth. God, these thoughts were freaking pointless, because—
The French doors opened and Reece stepped out onto the balcony, his sleepy blue gaze finding me. My tummy tumbled as I drank him in. Goodness, he was cute in the morning. Hair all messy and a shadow of brush along his jaw, he was total pinup material.
“Hey,” he said, and one side of his lips quirked up in a lopsided grin.
My own lips responded. It was clear he was still half asleep. “Hey you. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“I don’t think so.” Lifting an arm, he dragged his fingers through his hair. My eyes got hung up on his bicep and the muscles along the side of his chest. I shifted in the chair, surprised that I could be so visibly aroused by a guy scratching his head. He moved to the seat beside me. “I mean, I woke up and you were gone.” He leaned back in the chair, spreading his thighs as he tipped his head toward me. “I was worried when you weren’t there. You okay?”
My lips parted as his words hummed through me. “Yeah, I just woke up and didn’t want to wake you. You couldn’t have been sleeping for that long.”
His broad shoulders rose in a lazy roll. “I don’t really sleep that much. Just a couple of hours here and there, especially when I’m working.”
I thought about the night on the couch where it had seemed like a nightmare had shaken him awake. “You have to be so tired, though.”
Casting the heavy-hooded eyes to me, he shrugged again. “It’s the same with you, babe. You work crazy-ass hours just like me. You manage. I manage.”
“True,” I murmured, looking out over the lawn. “I like this—the balcony, I mean.” Flushing, I mentally kicked myself. “It’s very private and quiet.”
“I like it, too. Try to come out here at least once a day, drink my coffee.” Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw him raise his arms above his head and stretch. I had to look. I was only human, and goodness gracious, I was so glad I did. His back bowed as bones cracked. The man was pure sin. “It’s a good place to think,” he finished, dropping his arms.
My gaze coasted over the expanse of his chest and taut stomach, down to the fine trail of darker hair that disappeared under the band of his bottoms. “I can . . . um, understand that.”
There was a pause. “I talked to Colton this morning. He’s going to come by soon. I’ll be here while he talks to you.”
A shiver crawled along the nape of my neck, and I pulled the sweater closer. I nodded. “Does he know what happened?”
“Yes.”
I watched a bird flutter past the balcony. “Does he think it’s related to the other stuff?”
“I don’t know. I think he wants to talk to you first before he makes that jump.” He sighed softly. “Seriously, Roxy, you hanging in there?”
That wasn’t an easy question to answer. So much was going on and hanging between us, and everything we needed to talk about I wasn’t ready for. “Charlie’s on a feeding tube,” I said finally, raising my gaze to the blue, cloudless sky. The color was much like Reece’s eyes. “He hated being on that before, so they have had to restrain him, and it’s so hard to see him like that.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Genuine sympathy radiated from his voice.
I nodded. “The last time he wouldn’t eat, he ended up having a seizure.”
“I remember that,” he said quietly.
Surprised, I looked at him. “You do?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I remember you talking about it, and I know how close you came to losing him.”
Pain rose as I leaned back in the chair. “I’m so afraid.”
“For Charlie?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, and I bit down on my lip as he reached between us, curving his hand around my arm. It felt like my heart doubled in size. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. I really am.”
He squeezed my arm gently. “I wish there was something I could say.”
“I know.” I swallowed the knot in my throat.
His gaze held mine for a moment and then he moved his hand. I wanted to climb into his lap and wrap myself around him like an octopus, but knew that probably wouldn’t be the greatest idea. “I want to ask you something again. I’m hoping you’ll answer differently than before.”
Oh God, I wasn’t sure I was ready for any of this. “Okay?”
“Why didn’t you tell me what was happening at your place, Roxy?”
At first, I didn’t know how to answer that question. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy for believing in ghosts or making it up, looking for attention. I mean, how many women come to the office with fears they’re being stalked and it gets written off? That’s the kind of fucked-up misogynistic crap that happens.”
Reece shook his head. “Not when I take the call.”
“You’re different,” I pointed out, unfolding my legs. The cement was cold under my bare feet.
“Then why didn’t you say anything?”
I chewed on my lower lip as I gripped the arms of the chair. “I really didn’t know what was happening, and when I found my . . . my stuff in the dishwasher, I just didn’t think it was right to bring it up then when . . .” Unable to sit, I stood and walked to the railing. “I mean, you know what was happening.”
His gaze held mine for a moment and then he looked away. Rubbing the heel of his palm over his heart, he frowned. “When I realized this morning I was there when you found that and had no idea, I wanted to punch myself in the nuts.”
My brows flew up.
The muscle along his jaw popped. “I’m serious. What has been happening to you has to be some scary shit. Finding your panties in a dishwasher? Not knowing how that happened, wondering if your place should be on Ghost Adventures or if you need to get your head checked had to be driving you crazy. And you went through that by yourself—by yourself when I was there.” He scooted to the edge of the chair and leaned forward. “I fucking loathe the idea of you going through that.”
I drew in a deep breath but it got stuck. “You were angry . . . and you had every right to be angry.”
“I was.” He looked up at me through thick lashes. “But I should’ve been there for you. You should’ve been able to stop me and show me what happened. That’s not your fault that you didn’t. I put you in that position and I’m sorry for that.”
My mouth opened, but I didn’t know what to say.
“It’s time to have that conversation,” he said, his voice brooking no argument. “And we really need to be up front with one another. Both of us. No more bullshit.”
I leaned against the railing, feeling a little weak, but I didn’t run or try to hide from this. I wasn’t a coward. At least, I tried not to be one. “You’re right,” I said, but I wished he’d put a damn shirt on, because that body was super distracting.
“You know that I was pissed. You know why I’m pissed.”
“You hate lying above anything else. I know it’s because of your dad,” I said, and I rushed on before I stopped. “Knowing that made it hard to come clean about that night. Not that I’m excusing it, but just so you know where I’m coming from.”
“Lying isn’t what I hate above all else, Roxy. I hate fucking predators who stalk women and people I care about. That’s pretty high up there. So is murder and rape,” he continued, and I think I got his point. “But yeah, I was pissed. I’m still kind of pissed.”
I cringed inwardly. Here it comes . . .
“That’s why I left. I wish I didn’t. Gotta be honest with you, it probably was a good thing that I did, because the last thing I wanted to say was something I regretted and couldn’t take back, but knowing what you were going through, I wish I was there. That I stayed and maybe you would’ve opened up about what was going on.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “Let’s take that shit and put it aside for a moment, because we’ll be dealing with that when Colton gets here.”
“All right,” I replied, stiffening.
He lowered his head as his chest rose with a deep breath. “I needed space. I needed to clear my head of the anger I was feeling. I’ve learned more than once that trying to hold an important conversation when you’re pissed isn’t the smart thing to do. It usually fucks things up and the last thing I wanted to do was go down that road with you.”
But wasn’t it already fucked up?
Reece’s eyes were such a deep, startling blue when they met mine. “I wasn’t ready to talk to you on Thursday, but I knew then where this was heading.”
My chest rose and fell sharply as I braced myself.
“I thought about it. I do get why you were upset and I know you get why I was upset. We both fucked up in this, one way or another.”
“We did,” I whispered, wanting to cry. I started to turn away, but his hand snaked out and caught mine. I faced him, eyes wide.
“I think we did this wrong,” he said, threading his fingers through mine.
I had no idea where this was heading, but he was holding my hand, so I was going to go with him somewhere where I didn’t want to pitch myself off the balcony. “We did?”
Reece nodded. “No bullshit, right? I have something I need to tell you.”
“No bullshit,” I repeated.
One side of his lips kicked up. “The first time I noticed you—like really noticed you—was when you just turned sixteen, and you were out in the backyard with Charlie. I had no fucking clue what you two were trying to do with a Slip’N Slide and honestly didn’t care, because you were wearing the tiniest bikini I’d ever seen.”
“I have no recollection of a Slip’N Slide,” I murmured.
He tugged me a step forward. “I do. It was in June. It was around two in the afternoon, and I was watching you from the kitchen window. I kept telling myself you were way too young to be thinking the things I was thinking.”
Interest piqued, I couldn’t let that go. “What things were you thinking?”
“Things a teenage boy thinks when he sees a hot chick in a bathing suit that barely covers her ass,” he replied. “I don’t think I moved from that window until I couldn’t take anymore, and I don’t think you want to know what I did when I left the window.”
My lips parted. “What did you do?”
He arched a brow. “Give you two hints. Shower. My hand.”
“Oh.” My skin tingled as a sharp sensation swirled through me.
“Yeah,” he murmured, and tugged me another step forward. My leg pressed against his knee. “Then it was when you were seventeen and you made me a homemade birthday card. I don’t know why, but when you smiled at me and handed that card over, you came onto my radar and you never left.”
I totally remembered that card. I’d spent days on it, drawing a picture of the Statue of Liberty, because I knew he was into the whole Marines and America stuff. And I’d felt so goofy giving it to him, but he had smiled and he’d given me one of those awkward one-arm hugs. I’d thought he saw me as a silly kid.
“When I came back from overseas and I saw you . . .” He shook his head. “That hug you gave me. Never been hugged like that before. I didn’t understand why you were the first person I really wanted to see when I got back. I didn’t get it for a long-ass time why I started going to that shit hole that used to be Mona’s. And when I did finally put two and two together, and came up with the fact that I wanted you, then the shit happened with the shooting.”
I swallowed hard. I knew Reece had taken the officer-involved shooting hard and he’d been drinking a lot around that time, but before I could open my mouth, he went on. “My head wasn’t in the right place to act on it. The reason I came to Mona’s became more about getting shitfaced than seeing you, and then . . . yeah, that night happened between us.” He tilted his head to the side. “That’s why I regretted it. Because I was drunk and my head was in a bad place. I didn’t want anyone around that, especially you.”
“Reece,” I whispered.
His eyes searched mine intently. “By the time I figured out what I was feeling for you, we weren’t talking and as always, shit just gets out of hand.”
My heart was pounding as I looked down at him. “What are you saying, Reece?”
That crooked grin appeared again as he curled his arm back. I gasped as he hauled me right into his lap, my hip cradled between his strong thighs. Still holding my hand, he wrapped his other arm around my waist as he leaned back into the chair. Having no choice, I went with him and ended up stretched out across his chest, my free hand landing on his shoulder. My body immediately warmed to being so close to him.
We were face-to-face. “And because of that—all of that, we did this wrong. Not that I regret getting in you. Fuck. No way. Looking back, I’m a hundred percent glad that was our first time.” The arm around my waist shifted, and his hand slipped over my hip, to the edge of my shorts and then splayed across my bare leg. A wave of goose bumps traveled across my flesh. “But I should’ve done more for you. The dinner. The movie. All of that. You deserved that. I think after all this time, we deserve that.”
“We do?” My voice squeaked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Yeah, we do.” His eyes drifted over my face, settling on my mouth. “How about we start over? You want that?”
I still had no idea what to say.
He arched a brow. “The way you’re rubbing my neck tells me you do, but babe, I want to hear it from that pretty mouth.”
My hand? I glanced at it. Hell, I was rubbing his neck. “I didn’t expect this,” I admitted. “I thought you’d tell me that we’d be friends . . . or something like that.”
“Roxy, I already told you I was looking for more than that.”
“But—”
He tipped his chin forward, resting his forehead against mine. “I was pissed, but that hasn’t changed.” A heartbeat passed. “But has it changed for you?”
Part of me wished it had, because this with Reece was dangerous to my heart and common sense. I could really fall for him, but I . . . I wanted him and—and I wasn’t going to finish that train of thought. “I would like that.”
“Figured.”
My heart flipped. “So damn cocky.”
“Just truthful,” he teased, plucking up the purple streak in my hair and twisting it around his finger.
I drew in a deep breath as his warm breath danced over my lips. My mind was literally blown. So was my heart, but in a way that was both good and concerning. This really was the last thing I’d expected. I suddenly had my present and future with him altered.
“Wait,” I said, drawing back. “If we’re starting over, does that mean, like, no sex until the third date or something?”
“Seriously?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s a valid question.”
“Come on, babe.” His hand slid up my leg and curved around my rear, and everything in me turned to liquid heat. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“I think I’m getting the picture, but maybe I need—”
His mouth silenced me. Kissing me softly, he sent my senses spinning. Just a kiss, and my breasts already felt heavy and an ache spasmed between my thighs. Well, the hand on my rear probably also had something to do with it, especially when a finger unerringly found the center seam in my shorts. He traced that seam, sending an illicit shiver through me.
“I bet you got the picture now, right?” he said, voice rough.
Running the tip of my tongue along my tingling lower lip, I wanted to wrap my legs around his hips, press against where I really wanted him when he groaned. “Are you sure this is smart?” I asked.
The hand left the seam of my shorts and slipped under the sweater and tank top, gliding over the bare skin of my back. “Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?”
I drew back, cupping his cheeks. I liked the way the bristle along his jaw tickled my palms. There was really only one good reason I could come up with. “I’m not going to fall in love with you.”
Reece’s grin spread into a full-fledged smile that wrapped around my heart. “Sure you’re not.”