Ellie couldn’t sleep, arousal buzzing through every fiber of her body, her mind filled with the taste, feel, and scent of Jesse. Every word he’d said, every touch, every kiss replayed through her mind again and again. Oh, he knew how to kiss, knew how to use his lips and tongue. And his hands…

He’d touched her, and she’d gone nuts. She’d run her hands over him, drinking in the feel of him, the sight of him—chest hair, muscles, tats, scars. She’d forgotten how wonderful it was to be strung out on desire, to burn for a man, to ache for him.

I could kiss you all night.

God, she wished he had! She’d wanted him so badly. Instead, he’d stopped.

I can’t do this if it’s going to end up hurting you.

He’d stopped for her sake. He’d stopped because he’d been afraid it wasn’t what she truly wanted. He’d stopped despite the fact that he’d brought a condom. She’d seen the outline of it in the back pocket of his jeans not long after he’d arrived.

His thoughtfulness had left a warm glow inside her. A man who put a woman’s well-being ahead of his penis—she liked that.

She liked even more what he’d said on his way out the door.

When you’re ready, Ellie, I’ll be here.

She drifted off at some point because when her eyes opened again, daylight was streaming through the cracks in the blinds. Daniel was sitting at the foot of her bed with his blanket playing with a handful of magnetic blocks, while Daisy lay beside her, sucking her thumb and cuddling her stuffed kitten.

Who needed an alarm clock when you had small children?

Rather than wishing the kids would just give her another hour of sleep as she did most mornings, she felt energized, awake, alive.

She sat up and drew them both to her, hugging them and kissing their chubby cheeks. “Good morning, my sweeties. Would you like waffles for breakfast?”

Daisy, as it turned out, had shed her overnight diaper and was running around half-naked, while Daniel was soaked. Ellie took off his diaper, put him in a pair of disposable training pants, and dressed him. Then she dressed Daisy, who was already potty trained for daytime, and put her hair into little pigtails.

“Okay, let’s make waffles.”

The kids stood together on a chair, “helping,” while she made the batter from scratch and poured it into the waffle iron, their happy chatter making her smile. In the breaks between waffles, she scrambled some eggs and started a pot of coffee.

“Hot.” Daniel pointed to the waffle iron.

“Yes, it’s very hot. Don’t touch it, or it will burn you.”

Ellen scooped more batter—just as Daisy put her palm on the hot iron.

Daisy screamed.

Ellie dropped the batter back into the bowl, scooped her daughter up, and stuck her hand under a stream of cool water. “Daisy Mae! Why did you do that? I told you not to touch it. See? It was hot, wasn’t it?”

Daisy nodded, crying her little heart out, while Daniel watched wide-eyed.

“Hot!” He pointed to the waffle iron again, looking like he might cry, too.

“Daisy is okay,” Ellie reassured him. “You’re okay, Daisy.”

There were no blisters, just redness.

Thank God.

Ellie sat them in their booster seats at the table, then went back to making waffles without their help. When the waffles were done and the coffee brewed, she cut up a waffle for each of them and served them with real maple syrup, scrambled eggs, and a sippy cup of milk.

It was the perfect breakfast for a snowy winter morning. The kids ate contentedly, quiet now, their focus entirely on getting each piece of syrupy waffle into their mouths.

As Ellie ate, she glanced out the back window—and saw a trail in the snow leading from her back porch up the mountain to Jesse’s cabin.

I don’t want to be the thing you regret in the morning.

Would she have regretted it?

She looked down at the ring on her finger, twisted it. She couldn’t be sure how she’d have felt because it hadn’t happened. But wasn’t that why he’d stopped? He’d wanted to give her time to think, to decide whether she truly wanted to have sex with him or whether last night was just about wine and loneliness.

And, God, she was lonely. She’d known that, but until he’d kissed her, she hadn’t realized exactly how lonely she was.

She glanced up at the little photo of Dan she kept on the fridge. She hadn’t thought of him once while she and Jesse had been kissing.

But Dan had wanted her to be happy. He’d made her promise—

It was Wednesday. Playgroup!

Damn! She was running late.

“Okay, kids, let’s get you cleaned up. It’s time to go play.”

* * *

Jesse dragged his ass out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom to take a leak. His gaze fell on the clock. How could it be ten already?

Shit.

He hadn’t meant to sleep that long. Then again, he hadn’t slept much at all, sexual frustration keeping him awake, his mind filled with Ellie—the taste of her skin, the feel of her breasts in his hands, the soft sound of her sighs. He’d finally taken matters into his own hands, imagining that his fist was her sweet body. He’d come—hard. But that hadn’t been enough to get her out of his mind.

It’s your own fault, idiot.

Yes, okay, maybe it was. But whatever Jesse’s faults—and his father had a list that was probably a mile long—he wasn’t the kind of man who could take advantage of a woman’s grief and loneliness just to scratch a sexual itch. The last thing he wanted was to look into Ellie’s eyes and see that he had added to her troubles.

She’s not for you, anyway, remember?

Somehow, that didn’t make him feel better.

He walked into the kitchen, grabbed the milk out of the fridge, and drank straight from the carton, leaning against the wall with one hand. That hand just happened to land on the button beneath the fucking fish Herrera had given him for his birthday.

Tinny music spilled out, making Jesse jump.

The fish’s tail and mouth began to wiggle.

“Take me to the river/Wash me in the water.”

Fuck this day anyway.

He put the milk away, took out a carton of eggs, and made himself an omelet with five egg whites, beating the eggs a bit too hard and tossing in whatever shit he could find—scallions, tomatoes, a leftover boiled potato, shredded Mexican cheese.

After he’d eaten, he left the dishes in the sink, dressed, and brushed his teeth. Then he grabbed his cell phone and gym bag and headed out the door. He needed to get vertical, work off this sexual frustration, clear his head.

He drove to the climbing gym, where he found Sasha already on the wall, her trainer on belay and shouting encouragement as she worked her way through a route with a steep overhang, her body almost parallel to the ground.

“Let your bones do the work. Your skeleton doesn’t get tired. When you’re not moving, let your muscles rest.”

Jesse checked in with the front desk, then walked to one of the benches to put on his climbing shoes and harness. The rock gym, like The Cave, was a second home for him, the anticipation of challenging moves and burning muscles already clearing his thoughts. He’d just clipped into his harness when Herrera walked in, bag slung over his shoulder, mirrored sunglasses on his face, dark hair rumpled from the wind.

“Hey, man,” he called when he saw Jesse. “You ready to kick your own ass?”

Jesse was more than ready.

They picked a 5-11c route next to Sasha.

“Mind if I go first?” Jesse asked.

Herrera’s brown eyes narrowed. “Something eating you?”

“Don’t ask.” Jesse reached for the rope, looped it through his harness, and started tying his figure-eight retrace.

“It’s too late for that.”

“I didn’t sleep last night.” Jesse thought Herrera would let it drop.

He didn’t. “You need a woman. Nothing makes for a good night’s sleep like sex. You should get together with Rain.”

“Rain?” Jesse drew the knot tight, double-checked his harness. “Why Rain?”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She likes you, man.”

“Rain is just being friendly. Besides, Joe will kick the ass of any guy who hits on her in his pub. You know that.”

“So hit on her when she’s not at work.”

Chaska Belcourt walked by with his sister, Winona, both of them wearing harnesses. “How’s eighth grade treating you boys?”

Jesse glared at Herrera. “Are you on belay or what?”

“On belay.”

“Climbing.”

“Climb on.”

Jesse threw himself into the route, the toes of his left foot on a chip, his right hand on a small edge. He reached with his left hand, caught a crimper, and drew himself to the left, shifting his left foot onto a small edge and the toes of his right foot onto the chip. He stretched his right arm, caught an edge, and pushed upward with his left foot. Then he lunged upward toward a fat jug—and caught it.

As he climbed, his mind began to empty. He was barely aware of Herrera and Sasha’s shouts of encouragement from below. By the time he’d climbed to the top of the wall, he was focused, in control of his emotions again.

Herrera lowered him to the mat. “Way to crush it.”

Jesse was about to say that his practice on power moves was paying off when the sound of sirens came from nearby. One siren. Then another. And another.

He walked to the windows to see a fire rescue vehicle and two ambulances headed down the canyon. Hawke must be having a busy day.

“I wonder what happened.” Jesse felt for his pager in his pocket, made sure it was on. “Did you get a page?”

Herrera shook his head. “Nothing.

Sasha held up her silent pager. “Me neither.”

They walked back to the wall. It was Herrera’s turn now. But no sooner had Herrera gotten tied into the rope than Jesse’s cell phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket.

Ellie.

He was about to let the call go to voicemail—now was not the time to talk about last night—but something had him answering instead. “Moretti.”

“Hi, Jesse. I’m really sorry to bother you, but there’s been a multiple-casualty incident involving a school bus full of kids in the canyon.”

Jesus. So that’s what that was.

Ellie went on. “I’ve been called in to the ER to help, but my parents are in Denver with my sister seeing a surgeon about her knee. Most of my friends are nurses, and they’ve been called in too. I have no one to watch the kids.”

Wait. What?

“You want me to watch your kids?” Even as he said the words, he knew she couldn’t possibly have meant she wanted him to babysit.

“Yes—if you can. I’m really sorry to ask this of you, but I have no one else I can call who lives nearby.”

“I don’t know anything about kids.” It was the truth.

“No, maybe not, but you have EMT training, and you were an NCO, right? How much harder could it be to watch over two toddlers compared to a camp full of soldiers?”

Okay, she had a point. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He ended the call. “Sorry. There’s been an accident with a school bus—multiple casualties. My neighbor is a nurse and needs me to watch her kids while she goes to help in the ER.”

Herrera stared at him. “You—babysit?”

Yeah, he’d had that same thought. “I’m good with kids.”

He hoped for everyone’s sake that was true.

* * *

Ellie raced around trying to get herself ready for work and make sure Jesse would have everything he needed. There was a box of Kraft Dinner and a can of peaches on the counter top. The kids had already had their midday dose of amoxicillin. The diapers and wipes were sitting on the coffee table, next to a stack of DVDs that the kids liked—Sesame Street, Thomas the Tank Engine, Little Einsteins.

“Daisy, do you have to go potty before I go?”

Daisy shook her head.

She checked Daniel’s training pants one last time and was relieved to find them poopy. That was one thing Jesse wouldn’t have to deal with. She quickly changed Daniel, took the dirty training pants out with the trash, and washed her hands.

Her stethoscope. Where had she put it?

She found it on the kitchen counter and had just draped it around her neck when she saw Jesse pull up in front of the house. She met him at the door.

God, she felt guilty for asking him to do this.

“Hey, Daniel and Daisy, look who’s here. It’s Jesse. Do you remember Jesse? He’s the nice man who helped us when we were sick and our car wouldn’t start.”

“Hey, guys.” Jesse waved to the kids.

“Thanks so much, Jesse. I’m so sorry. I know this is your day off—”

“Hey, I’m doing my part. Those kids need your help, right?” His gaze moved over her. “You look good in scrubs.”

She looked down at herself. “You must be nuts.”

He chuckled. “Okay, give me my mission parameters here.”

“Just keep my kids safe and alive until I get home or until my parents get here.” She walked over to the table. “I’ve written everything down here—when they need their next dose of medicine, the number for the hospital switchboard, my parents’ cell phone numbers, though they’re not here and can’t really help. There’s a box of Kraft Dinner on the counter if I’m not home by suppertime. Daniel’s wipes and training pants are on the coffee table. He just had a BM, so I hope you won’t have to deal with that. Daisy is potty trained, but she needs a little help wiping and such.”

She saw the surprise on his face at this. “I’m so sorry. You’ve never changed a diaper, have you?”

He rested a big hand on her arm. “I’ve dealt with worse things than poop.”

She supposed that was true.

“Thank you for doing this. I’ll find a way to make it up to you.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the mouth, the contact like a jolt of caffeine.

Damn.

She popped a DVD into the player and turned on Sesame Street. “It’s best if we don’t make a big deal about my leaving.”

But when she tried to sneak out, they saw her, and Daisy started to cry.

“It’s okay, baby girl.” Jesse scooped Daisy up. “Let’s wave goodbye to your pretty mommy through the window.”

“Thank you!” Ellie shut the door behind her and waved to Daisy as she climbed into her car.

She arrived at the hospital a few minutes later, clocked in, and went straight to the ER, where resources were stretched to their limit, a half dozen ambulances from three different organizations parked outside the emergency room and more coming up the street. Reporters roamed around the hallway, some with cameras, while parents and family members—people she knew—clustered together, waiting to hear if their sons and daughters were here.

“I need an MRI!” someone shouted.

“Get those fluids going. His blood pressure is dropping.”

Ellie scrubbed up, put on a gown, grabbed a handful of gloves, and found Pauline. “Where?”

Pauline pointed toward the procedure room at the end of the hall. “Head injury. Life Flight is on its way. We need to stabilize him for transport.”

Ellie hurried to the room, shouldered her way behind the curtain—and stopped. Lying on the gurney was Tyler Kirby, only six years old, with an open skull fracture.

God, no.

His face was bloody and lacerated—probably from glass. He was unconscious, and he’d been intubated, IVs in his little arms, a c-collar around his neck. His vitals did not look good, his BP and blood oxygen low, his little heart racing.

Doctor Warren, the hospital’s trauma surgeon, looked up, her eyes telling Ellie everything she didn’t want to know. “Start antibiotics running wide open and get a stat blood panel. And where the hell is the neuro consult?”

Ellie grabbed hold of the IV cart and went to work.

* * *

Babysitting toddlers was not for the weak.

Jesse discovered this during the ten minutes of constant wailing that had followed Ellie’s leaving the house. Eventually he—with a little help from Sesame Street—managed to soothe Daisy and Daniel. Four hours had gone by, and so far, no one had been killed or injured. He considered that success.

But the evening wasn’t over yet.

“Put on.” Daisy held up a little plastic tiara with pink sparkles.

“You want me to put that on you? Are you a princess?” He started to put it on her little head, but she drew back.

She pointed to him. “Put on you.”

She wanted him to put it on himself?

Uh. Really? Okay. He did as she asked. “Do I look pretty?”

She giggled.

Her laughter struck him right in the chest, melted his heart. The sound was pure, bright, innocent.

Daniel meanwhile was busy piling blocks in the back of a plastic dump truck and dumping them out again. That looked fairly straightforward, so Jesse helped, watching Daisy while she put every single stuffed animal she and her brother owned down for a nap on Daniel’s blanket. Yeah, that wasn’t going to end well.

Jesse’s phone buzzed. He fished it out of his pocket to find a number he didn’t recognize. “Moretti.”

“This is Troy Rouse, Ellie’s father. She gave me your number.”

“Hey, doc.” Jesse got to his feet.

“I’m sure you probably heard this, but the canyon is closed.”

“No, I hadn’t heard. It must’ve been a terrible accident.”

“A drunk driver T-boned a bus full of school kids, causing other cars to hit the bus. They said the canyon is going to be closed for another hour or two at least while they finish the investigation and clean up. Meanwhile, we’re stuck down in Boulder. How are my grandkids?”

“They’re doing fine, sir.”

“Good. I wish I were up there. Those kids on the bus—a lot of them are patients of mine. I wish I were at the hospital right now, helping out the way Ellie is.”

“Are things going well there?”

“She says it was pretty rough going for a while. They lost one. That always shakes a person up.”

Screams. Cold water. A pale, terrified face. Little hands reaching.

Jesse pushed the memory aside. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“We’ll let you know when the road opens. We’re sitting in a parking lot at Sixth and Canyon, so we’ll know as soon as traffic starts moving again.”

“Don’t worry about us. We’re good.” Jesse ended the call, a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The kids played in their playroom for a while longer. When that deteriorated into fighting—Daniel did not feel like sharing his blanket with the stuffed animals—Jesse managed to interest them in Thomas the Tank Engine. And then, like magic, they both fell asleep.

They were still asleep when Ellie pulled into the driveway a half hour later.

Thank God!

A sense of relief washed through Jesse. He had fulfilled his mission. He’d kept Ellie’s kids alive until she’d returned.

He strode to the window, put a finger to his lips. “Shhh.”

She entered quietly, her lips curving in a smile. “Are they asleep?”

“I guess I wore them out.”

She set her handbag down and slid out of her coat. Her stethoscope was still around her neck, and there was dried blood on her scrubs and the tops of her white shoes—proof that her afternoon had been rough. “How did it go?”

“Fine. They weren’t happy when you left. They bickered a few times, but I broke it up.” What else should he tell her? “Daisy used her potty. I changed Daniel once.”

Ellie was still smiling as if he’d said something funny. “You’re a pro.”

Jesse didn’t want to brag, but he’d done pretty well. “How are things in the ER?”

She shook her head, let out a breath. “Everything is under control now. It was mayhem at first. We triaged thirty kids. We sent the most critical to Denver. Some went to Boulder. We lost one—a little boy who was only six. Open skull fracture. He had internal injuries, too. I was with him and his parents when he died. I know them.”

God. How fucking awful.

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”

“Yeah.” She looked up at him, weariness and sadness disappearing, giving way to that same amused smile. She pointed to his head. “I like the tiara. The look suits you.”

“What?” He reached up and felt Daisy’s plastic tiara. He’d forgotten about it. He pulled it off. “Don’t judge. We all need to experiment.”

She laughed at this, then stepped out of her shoes, frowning when she saw the blood. “Would you mind watching them while I take a quick shower?”

He didn’t need an explanation. “Go ahead.”

“I’d love it if you would stay for dinner after that.”

“Kraft Dinner? I’d love to.”