Chapter Thirty-One
It took less than two months for the Fierros to completely take over my life.
It started simply enough, with a continuation of the things they were already doing, cleaning and cooking and bringing things over, sending Gram and me out of the house, generally down to the restaurant where we were fed again or asked how we were doing, what was new in our lives, what we needed that we hadn’t been given. We were shown pictures of new babies and invited to tee ball games and birthday parties, of which there seemed to be one every other day at least.
Then one day Cessy showed up at the house.
She was Vinnie’s second cousin, nineteen years old and full of the usual Fierro fire. “I’m a Certified Nurse’s Aid, but I want to go to school to be a registered nurse. Grandpa Frank doesn’t like the idea, because he worries I can’t keep up with the work, so I’m going to show him how good I am at it.”
I nodded, not sure exactly why she was telling me all this—not until I realized her intent was to show up every day and take care of my mother.
She did a little work around the house, but mostly she made sure my mother got up and down the stairs, took a shower, and ate rather than drank her meals. There were no trips to Lucky’s on Cessy’s watch. Either Cessy volunteered to go with her, or on the rare occasions Mom managed to sneak out on her own, she found herself unable to locate any money. When she complained about being held prisoner in her home, Cessy turned into a smaller version of Vinnie’s mother. No amount of whining or complaining could move her. I knew their victory was only temporary. I’d learned long ago that no amount of manipulation would keep an alcoholic from drinking, but my stark pessimism didn’t seem to matter to Cessy. Whenever I brought it up, she’d shoo me down to Emilio’s.
Whether my mother’s sobriety lasted or not, at least I didn’t have to deal with it alone.
Being at the restaurant was different now too. People had always been friendly to me there, but now they welcomed me like I was one of their own. Marco and Frank took turns nagging me into taking a job there, pointing out all the advantages. I’d make less tips, sure, but I’d save money on EL passes. The food was better too, and I’d get it free as an employee. This was the most ridiculous argument, as neither Gram nor I had paid for anything since Mom had gone into her coma. It didn’t stop Marco and Frank, though. Nothing, it seemed, could stop Marco and Frank. They were determined I should work for them, and they’d use any and all guilt trips and excuses to achieve their ends.
It wasn’t until Vinnie assured me I didn’t have to let them bully me that I realized how much I enjoyed their bullying. I put in my notice at The Rose and donned an Emilio’s apron.
By the end of the second month I’d quit Full Moon too, because I had enough shifts at the restaurant to make up for both jobs, and because between all the free food and the spare time and possibly simply Fierro magic, the money seemed to be working out fine on its own.
No one said anything about Vin and me dating, either. I tried to be circumspect at first for his sake, but this only made him that much more belligerent about holding my hand or flirting with me while I was working. Some of the family members didn’t care for our being gay, I was almost certain of it, but at any signs of disapproval, Lisa came down on them, and in her absence, Frank took over. I often wondered if his support of our relationship was more to impress Gram than because he believed in gay rights, but whatever the motivation, he’d taken up the rainbow torch and showed no signs of putting it down.
That seemed to be the Fierro way: once something was decided, heaven help you if you tried to stop them. They didn’t listen when Gram and I told them they were helping too much, that we couldn’t accept so much sacrifice on our part. “You’re family,” they’d all reply, as if that ended the argument.
And it usually did.
One beautiful Saturday in October, I woke to Vinnie’s curtains opening noisily, letting a bright shaft of sunlight into the bedroom.
“Time to get up, sleepyhead.” Vin sat on the edge of the bed and caught the sheet before I could pull it over the top of my head. “It’s almost noon.”
I rubbed my eyes and sat up weakly, feeling like someone had dragged me behind the back of a city bus for several blocks. “Noon?”
“Noon.” Fully dressed, Vinnie was bright-eyed and practically bouncing on his toes.
I was also pretty sure he had something up his sleeve. “What did you do?”
He winked at me. “Get dressed and showered and find out.”
Coffee waited on the bathroom counter when I got out, and I drank it gratefully. When I emerged back into the bedroom and found clothes laid out for me on the bed like I was a toddler, I balked a little, but something told me to not fight it, and I got dressed in what had been prepared for me: a nice button-down shirt and a pair of slacks. When I left the bedroom, still buttoning a cuff, Vinnie handed me my brown loafers.
“Seriously, what’s going on?”
Oh, that damn sideways grin. “I told you. Places to be. People to see. Are you ready, princess? Your chariot awaits.”
I thwapped him on the arm, then let him tuck my hand into his elbow, playing prince to my damsel as he grabbed his wallet and keys and took me down the elevator to the lobby. When we got outside, though, we didn’t head to his garage.
We went to the sleek black limo sitting at the curb. A handsome young man with several serious shades of Fierro pushed off the fender and grinned at us as he waved.
“Vinnie! Lookin’ good, man.” He nodded to Trey and winked. “You must be Trey. I’m Carlo Vigo, Vinnie’s baby cousin.”
“Nice to meet you,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.
“Likewise.” Carlo tipped his hat at Vinnie in exaggerated deference. “You ready to be driven, sir?”
“Just try not to get a ticket on the way,” Vin warned.
Carlo opened the door, and I slid in, Vinnie following after. I was still flustered, but I was starting to get excited too. He got me a limo. “Are we going to Buckingham Fountain now?” Vin gave me an exasperated look, which made me laugh. Yes, we were going to the fountain, and I’d spoiled his surprise. I held up my hands. “I won’t ask any more questions.”
He didn’t say a word, only leaned back in the seat and urged me closer to him. His free hand reached for a bottle cooling in a bucket of ice. I laughed when he pulled out a twenty-ounce Sprite.
“Only the finest for you,” he told me, deadpan, opening the bottle before passing it to me. “Easy now, though. This is the hard stuff. You might not be used to it.”
I punched him in the arm, but I was grinning too, almost laughing to the point I couldn’t drink.
Carlo drove us through downtown and wove around Lake Shore Drive. I wondered if I’d been wrong about the fountain after all, because we were clearly just ambling in circles, taking in the scenery, like we hadn’t both grown up with it our entire lives. I loved it though, because I’d never done it in a limo.
The wind whipped high at the fountain, spraying us all the way at the curb as we got out of the limousine. Today it blew from the northeast, which meant we had to walk the long way around the fountain to get out of the wet. It also meant the only benches that weren’t in the spray zone were occupied.
Except as we came closer, I realized I recognized many of the faces from the last family get-together in Emilio’s basement. Rachel, Lisa, Amanda, Betty, Ricky, Cora, Paul. Gram was there too, sitting next to Frank, and so were Tara and Dillon and Josh. Even the man from the BoHo theater was there with his partner, whom I only recognized because Vinnie had all but hugged them the last time we went out in Boystown.
I looked at Vinnie. He was as surprised as I was to see them there. And more than a bit pissed.
“I’ll kill Rachel,” he said. “I should have known she couldn’t keep a secret.”
The family and everyone else rose, almost in unison, and headed off into the park. As she passed I thought I heard Cora whisper to Vinnie, “Good luck.”
Grimacing at her and waving them away, Vinnie motioned for me to sit on the bench. Once I was settled, he took my hand and perched beside me. We sat in silence together, the only sound the distant murmur of his family’s voices and the constant crash of the fountain.
“I’m moving back to the neighborhood,” he said at last.
Normally this announcement would have thrilled me, but he said it with such ominousness I wasn’t sure what to say. “Where?”
“Grandpa Giorgio’s old brownstone on Roosevelt. He’s getting too old to live on his own, so Fina and Alberto are taking him in. Mom’s been after me for awhile to take it, but last week I told her I would.”
“That’s great, Vinnie.” I’d seen that brownstone many times on my way to school. It was gorgeous from the street, and I could only imagine what it’d be like inside. I figured I’d be seeing a lot of it too, and even more of Vinnie. I went over to his place more than my own, but if I worked the late shift at Emilio’s, I was often too tired to make it all the way up to Racine. Now I’d only have to walk three blocks.
Vinnie took my hand and squeezed it. He looked into my eyes and said, “I want you to move in with me.”
I almost laughed out loud, but instead I grinned like an idiot, my smile so big it was hurting my face. Before I could answer, though, he held up a hand.
“The thing is, before you say anything, you need to know the whole score.” He ran a hand through his hair, and I saw sweat forming on his hairline, but the more he spoke, the calmer he seemed to get. “I love my family, but they have plenty of downsides, and we’re running into one of them here. They have some ways they’re set in, and they don’t like to budge. They’re working through the gay thing, and I’m impressed with how well, but there’s one thing they don’t care for no matter who’s with whom. And to be honest, it’s not something I’ve ever done except this way either.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled something out, but he didn’t open his hand. In fact he kept his hand closed tight, like a tiger might get out if he opened it. “It’s kind of funny. Grandma Marisa’s went up like emeralds at auction, but nobody ever asked for Grandpa’s. Guess that’s one place I have an advantage, huh?”
He let out a nervous breath, then another one. Then he looked at me, his whole heart in his eyes.
He left the bench and got down on one knee, clutching my hand with a slightly sweaty grip as he opened his hand, revealing an ancient-looking gold wedding band. “Trey Oscar Giles, will you marry me?”
Time spun, slowed and stopped.
I couldn’t say anything.
Vinnie’s expression changed to concern. “Trey?”
I stared down at him, scared and confused. “You want to get married?”
He looked a little scared too, but he said, voice full of confidence, “More than anything.”
I withdrew, not pulling my hand away but seeking the support of the back of the bench. “Vinnie, I don’t know.”
He gripped my hand and held me fast. “Do you love me?”
“God, yes.”
“And you know I love you.”
“I do, but…” I swallowed, not wanting to hurt him, but not able to stop myself. Tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t want to be ex number four.”
Vince squeezed my hand. “I love you, Trey. And yes, I want to marry you. I want to tell you that I’ll love you forever and I’ll always be here for you. I want to tell you that you will not be ex number four. The thing is, I know you, and I know that even as I’m saying this, your mind is going a million miles a minute, telling you all the ways I could let you down.”
I ducked my head as a single tear slid down my cheek.
Vince reached up to wipe it away. He put his fingers under my chin and made me meet his gaze. “I want to promise you the world, but I know you hate promises. And yeah, when it comes to marriage, my track record isn’t so great.” He gave me his sideways smile. “But this time is different.”
“How?”
He shook his head. “It just is. And not just because I’ve never married a man before. All I can tell you is, I’m sure this time, more sure than I’ve ever been about anything in my life.” He leaned over and kissed the back of my hand. “It’s different because this time I’ll be marrying you.”
It was a cheesy, terrible line. I wasn’t sure what it said about me that it worked so well, making me smile despite the fact that I still felt like I could break into tears at any moment.
Hope is a lie. All hope does is make it easier for them to crush you.
To take that ring from Vince’s hand, to say “Yes, I’ll marry you” would mean having hope. It would mean believing a promise. It would mean opening myself up to a heartbreak that could be the end of me.
“It’s too soon.”
I’d forgotten I was dealing with a Fierro. He wasn’t dissuaded at all. He smiled at me. “We’ve done everything slow, Trey. We can do this slow too. One day at a time.”
“This isn’t AA. This is forever.”
“Yes. I want to spend forever with you.”
Where had the nervous Vinnie gone? I didn’t think I could do it, not even for Vin. I opened my mouth to try and tell him this, to let him down as gently as I could, but he didn’t give me the chance.
“First things first,” he said. “Let’s just see how it feels.”
He took my left hand, and he slid the ring onto my finger.
I thought it would be horrifying. I thought it would feel like too big of a risk. But as the ring came to rest on my finger, I found myself smiling big enough to split my face in half, although I seemed to be crying too.
“What do you think?” he asked.
I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “It fits.”
He smiled at me again, such a sweet, gentle smile I thought I might melt. “Here’s what I want you to do: wear it today. And again tomorrow. And the next day too. Wear it as long as you want to have it on. And when the day comes that you wake up, and you realize that it belongs on your hand, that it never, ever has to come off, you let me know. And on that day, I’ll whisk you away and marry you before you can blink an eye.”
My eyes were still full of tears, but I laughed. “Your family will never forgive us if we elope.”
“Then we’ll take them with us.”
I examined the ring on my hand. It looked good. More importantly, it felt good. Did I really need to spend the next week, or the next month, or the next year trying to convince myself to take this chance? Or could I do it today? Yes, it was a risk, but wasn’t this joy I felt right now worth it? Looking into Vinnie’s gorgeous brown eyes, seeing the love he felt for me, I thought maybe it was.
He kept kneeling there, patiently holding my hand, waiting for me to give in. “Say yes!” someone bellowed from behind us, reminding me I was surrounded by Fierros.
“They weren’t supposed to be here,” Vinnie said, smiling. “They were supposed to wait back at Emilio’s, but…well, that’s my family for you.”
Yes, that was his family. It was why I loved them. Even if I told Vinnie no, even if he gave me space, they would dog us, and when they found out I was the obstacle, they’d only dog me. In fact, in hindsight they’d been funny around me lately, commenting on how much time Vinnie and I spent together, how far away his apartment was. Even Cessy had been dropping broad hints about how much more convenient it would be if she could have my room instead of crashing on the couch.
“I want to say yes right now. I really do.”
“Then do it.”
Forever, I whispered inside my head, trying it out. It felt good. It made my heart swell. But still…
“I’m scared.”
“You’re scared?” He shook his head in mock severity. “You’re not the one who’ll have to deal with my mother.”
That made me laugh again, thinking about his mother and how much support she’d given us.
How much they’d all given us.
“Why isn’t he saying yes?” somebody asked in a very bad stage whisper, and my heart swelled near to bursting. His family was here, not just for him, but for me, and for Gram. For my mom.
No matter what happened, I wouldn’t be alone. I was part of the family.
“Yes,” I whispered.
It seemed to take him a moment to register that I’d said it. “Yes,” I repeated, a little louder, and when the murmurs from behind me started again, I did laugh. I threw my arms around Vinnie’s neck, laughing and crying at once, feeling full and rich and overflowing with family as I shouted to them all, “I said yes!”
The hecklers began to woot and holler, and soon they surrounded us, applauding and cheering and picking us up and enveloping us in hugs. Someone asked when we were getting married, but before either of us could answer, someone else asked where, which started a fiery argument about whether or not it was a crime for the church to deny them a ceremony there and whether or not it was a sin to say the church had committed a crime.
“Come on,” Carlo shouted, jerking his head at the limo still waiting at the curb. “I gotta get the lovebirds back to the restaurant. Everyone’s waiting, and if we don’t hurry, Grandpa Giorgio will nod off for his nap.”
The crowd propelled us forward, Vinnie grabbing my arm just in time. I laughed, and so did he, his hand closing tighter around mine. A whole tribe of Fierros were waiting for us at Emilio’s, filling the basement, overflowing into the upstairs.
Waiting to welcome me into the family.