Chapter Twenty-Two

 

 

Logan’s heart was in his throat as he carried Taylor away from Wainright’s body. He didn’t want her to ever see that traitorous bastard again but his damn knee hurt so bad he wouldn’t be able to carry her much farther.

“Zaid,” he called out.

The team medic rushed over, already opening his pack. “Set her down.” He pulled on some gloves as Logan eased her onto the grass and knelt behind her on his good knee, bolstering her with his body.

She shook her head and tried to turn back into him, and much as it killed Logan not to gather her to his chest right now, he needed to make sure she was truly okay.

“You’re bleeding,” Zaid said to him, nodding at his arm.

 “Yeah. Not too deep though.” Stung like a mother. The sleeve of his uniform was already soaked through, but the wound wasn’t too serious. Wainright had gone for his throat and kidneys, so it would have been much worse if Logan hadn’t moved fast enough to block him.

He smoothed a hand over Taylor’s rumpled hair. It broke his heart to see her like this, traumatized, completely vulnerable.

He hated that she’d had to be the one to take the shots, but damn, he was so fucking proud of her too. Couldn’t believe her accuracy and resolve when she’d been facing down the man who’d been like a big brother to her for so long. God, he just wanted to hold her, take her away from all this and make it better somehow. But he couldn’t make this better. No one could.

Zaid began assessing her, his touch gentle and matter-of-fact. She wasn’t shaking anymore. He almost wished she would. Now she seemed to be too still. Like she was turning inward for comfort, locking herself away deep inside because she didn’t know where else to turn.

He wanted her to turn to him.

“I’m going to cut off your shirt to check you for broken ribs and internal injuries, all right, Taylor?” Zaid said, his voice low, soothing. “You don’t have to answer. I’m just telling you what’s going on so you’re not startled or anything.”

Feeling helpless, Logan continued to brace her against him while Zaid cut away her shirt. Logan pushed her away from him gently, holding her by the shoulders while his teammate scanned her for injuries. She had multiple cuts and bruises on her face, one on her temple, a good-sized knot on the back of her skull, and a big bruise forming on her back.

“This hurt?” Zaid asked, gently probing the sore spot on her back.

She flinched and nodded slightly, but didn’t say anything.

“Take a deep breath for me.” Zaid had his stethoscope to her back now, and listened intently as she took several breaths for him. He took the buds out of his ears and draped the instrument around his neck. “Lungs are good. No internal injuries that I can tell. We’ll have the paramedics take you to the hospital just to make sure though.”

Approaching footsteps made Logan look to the right. Jamie was headed for them, a blanket in his hand. “Here,” he said, hunkering down to wrap it around Taylor’s upper body, covering her up so no one else could see her. “It’s gonna be okay, Tay,” he told her, gently squeezing her shoulder once before rising and looking at Logan. “Want me to take her?”

“No.” It came out sharper than he’d intended, but he didn’t want anyone else touching her but him.

Jamie nodded and stood. “You going to the hospital with her?”

Just fucking try to stop me. “Yes.”

His teammate’s amber eyes filled with empathy. “I’ll let Charlie know. She’ll come see you there, okay Taylor?”

Taylor didn’t answer, just reached for Logan. His chest felt like it had been ripped wide open when she tucked her hands around his ribs and leaned into him. “Thanks,” he murmured.

A vehicle approached. An ambulance. Lights flashing but no siren. “Ambulance is here,” he told her softly. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“I’m not hurt,” she mumbled, leaning her full weight against him now. As though she didn’t have the strength left to hold herself up. And he was totally okay with that because it meant he could carry her for a little longer.

With Jamie’s help he lifted her and somehow got to his feet, this time the white-hot agony in his knee sharp enough to have him hissing a breath between his teeth. He wasn’t letting Taylor go. He’d carry her no matter how much it hurt.

Clenching his jaw, he started for the ambulance and realized his eight teammates had gathered in a fanned-out line behind him, forming a human wall between Taylor and Wainright’s body. Shielding her because she was one of their own, and because of what she meant to him.

Damn, he loved each and every one of those bastards.

Partway to the paramedics, Taylor let out a shaky moan. “I think he was going to let me go,” she whispered. “After he got to the boat.” She swallowed audibly. “And I killed him.”

Logan stopped walking, a fierce ache stabbing through the center of his chest. “You did what had to be done. And I’ve never seen anything so brave in my entire life.”

She raised her head and leaned back a bit to gaze up at him with heartbroken, drenched hazel eyes. So beautiful and precious to him, even in her misery. “Did I have to?”

Oh, honey. He nodded. “Yes. He wasn’t going to be taken alive.”

He watched the certainty of that hit home. Some of the guilt bled out of her expression. She lowered her eyes. “No. He wasn’t.”

No.

“I thought I’d hit you by accident,” she said, her voice so quiet it barely carried to him. “That first time.”

He’d been almost as surprised as Wainright when that first shot had gone off. “But you didn’t.”

She was quiet for a long moment. “That’s the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life. I was more scared then than when he had the gun to my head,” she said, sounding almost stunned by the revelation. “I was more afraid of losing you than dying.” She lifted her head once more to gaze up at him, her heart in her eyes. “Because finally meeting someone as amazing as you after all this time spent protecting myself from every other man, losing you would be worse than dying.”

Oh, Christ. His heart clenched, then turned over in his chest and it suddenly hurt to breathe. He had to swallow twice before he could get his voice to work, and started limping toward the ambulance again. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

And he’d felt the exact same way when he’d seen Wainright holding that gun to her head.

 

****

 

Taylor stood under the spray of Logan’s shower for a long time, until the water began to cool. After spending hours at the hospital and getting the all clear from the doctor, they had finally discharged her.

Logan had needed seventeen stitches in the back of his left upper arm, along with a handful of bandages to close the shallow parts of the cut Dillon had given him, and was back to using his crutches. His knee was purple and blue all over, as bad as ever from the fight with Dillon.

Instead of being allowed to go back home or to Logan’s place, they’d both had to go to headquarters to give statements, then sit through debriefings and talk to an agency shrink. Taylor had an appointment with her day after tomorrow. She sure had a lot to talk about.

Dillon was gone. Fingerprints confirmed that the two men who had kidnapped her were Veneno sicarios, both of whom had worked exclusively for him until sometime within the past few days. In typical, sick cartel logic, his own men had been sent to kill him once they’d killed her.

Taylor shivered. She’d scrubbed herself clean and the heat of the water had helped with some of the stiffness but everything still ached and her bruises were tender.

With a heavy sigh, she shut off the water, toweled off, then wrapped herself up in the robe Charlie had brought over for her earlier. After brushing her teeth and blowing her hair dry, she felt a little more human. For a moment she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror above the sink, the heavy weight of exhaustion pulling at her.

It showed. Her face was pale, her eyes bruised underneath. As tired as she was, however, she was glad Logan had asked her to come back here with him. She didn’t want to be alone and it scared her how badly she wanted to be with him.

But she wasn’t the only one who was traumatized by the past few days. Charlie had gone and picked up Nimbus at the apartment for her, and brought him here. He was curled up under a chair in the corner of the bathroom next to his litter box, food and water dishes, watching her with huge, unblinking green eyes. He would be too scared to leave the bathroom for another couple of days yet.

She got the impression that Logan wasn’t exactly a cat lover from the past few days at the apartment, but he’d been insistent that Nimbus come here to be with her. He was stealing more of her heart with each passing hour it seemed, and after today she couldn’t imagine life without him. A few weeks ago that would have scared her to death. Not now.

Crouching down in front of the chair, she reached out an arm to scratch her little fur baby under the chin but Nimbus didn’t move or purr. “I know, buddy, you hate all this uncertainty and moving around as much as I do. But it’s only for a little while. We’ll be able to go home soon.”

She hoped. She needed her own space back, the home she’d made, and the sense of independence and normalcy it gave her.

More than any of that, she needed Logan.

When she stepped out of the bathroom she smelled coffee brewing. She found Logan in the kitchen, his back to her as he fiddled with something on the counter while balanced on his crutches. He looked over his shoulder at her, his smile warming her from the inside out and making her bare toes curl against the laminate floor. The man turned her inside out with a single glance.

“You look better,” he said, turning to face her with a mug in one hand. “Feel better?”

“A bit.” He looked fine, as though he’d never been stabbed a few hours ago. God, if Dillon had hit him in the lung or kidney…

“Here, it’s decaf.” He handed it to her.

“Thanks.” Its warmth seeped through to her hands almost instantly. “How are you feeling?” The emergency staff had taped a long bandage over his stitches to help protect them.

“I’m good. Go sit down on the couch and make yourself comfortable. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

That got a tiny smile out of her. And she wasn’t going to refuse the offer to go veg on the couch for the rest of the night. “Okay.”

She settled herself on his leather sofa and stretched her legs out, letting her entire body relax. Every so often pictures from today would appear in her head without warning, bringing with them that sickening avalanche of guilt and despair. She kept fighting them off, but wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep the emotions at bay.

Logically she knew she’d done the right thing. Dillon had given her no choice, and there was no way of knowing whether he’d planned to let her go or not. The chances were low, though, and torturing herself about it now was pointless. As scared as she’d been to fire at him, she’d been more afraid of losing Logan.

“I was going to pick some of this up on my way to see you tonight, so I had Charlie grab it for me on the way over,” Logan said, somehow crutching his way over with a bowl balanced in hand.

She took it with another smile. “More ice cream?”

“Not just any ice cream. This is dark chocolate with huge chunks of creamy peanut butter in it. All organic.”

“Oh, so then it’s good for us,” she joked. It felt so freaking good to make a joke, even a dumb one.

He pointed his spoon at her. “Exactly.” He sank down next to her, held her gaze for a long moment and then held his spoon out toward her. “So, by the way. Thanks for hitting what you aimed at today.”

Startled, she blinked at him. “I…”

He raised an eyebrow and waited.

“You’re…welcome.” She had no idea what else to say.

With a nod, he gestured with his spoon again and she tapped hers against it. “Cheers.” Then he let out a soft laugh and shook his head. “You keep surprising me, Taylor. And damn, I gotta say you’re the most badass accountant I’ve ever met.”

His teasing was a relief, but she still blushed. “I was scared to death.”

“And that makes what you did even braver.”

She shook her head, the words pouring out of her now. “I haven’t fired a rifle in probably three years. Charlie dragged me down to the range last time I had to qualify with my sidearm, for practice before my test. I’ve never been good with a rifle. I didn’t have my glasses on and when I fired that first time I thought for sure I’d hit you instead of him.” Thank God she’d been standing close enough that she couldn’t miss even with her bad eyesight.

“Well, you were right on target when it counted, and that’s all that matters.”

The utter admiration and respect in his eyes touched the lonely, empty spot deep inside her, and filled it to overflowing.

She swallowed against the sudden tightness in her throat. Emotions roiled inside her, threatened to burst out of her mouth in a tumble of words she wasn’t sure he was ready to hear yet. That he owned her heart. That she didn’t want to be without him.

“Thanks for letting me stay here, and Nimbus too.”

He made an offended sound and frowned at her. “I want you here, Taylor, I hope you know that.”

She met his gaze again, and a pang shot through her, hitting a hidden place she hadn’t even known existed. It hurt, but it was a sweet, piercing pain that took her breath away.

He wanted her here. Wanted to be with her.

That word echoed in her head, tumbled around and seemed to click into place, aligning a column in her brain that had never balanced before.

Wanted.

No one had ever wanted her before. Not really, not unless it was for their own selfish purposes. But until that moment she’d never allowed herself to acknowledge how badly she’d needed to be wanted. All her life she’d wanted someone to want her, not for what they could get from her, but because of who she was.

Her throat closed up and to her horror, tears burned her eyes.

Logan’s expression filled with alarm. “Hey,” he protested, quickly setting his ice cream aside and taking her face between his hands. “What’s wrong?”

How could she answer him? She reached up one hand and curled her fingers around his wrist. Strong. Solid. Just like him and his character.

“Sweetheart, what?”

His concern and tenderness undid her completely. Shoving her bowl onto the coffee table, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. He locked his own around her and squeezed tight, his clean, masculine scent swirling around her.

“Thank you,” she finally choked out. She didn’t ever want to let go of him. Didn’t want him to ever let go of her.

“For what?” he asked, sounding baffled.

“For wanting me as I am. Quirks and all.” It was the greatest gift anyone had ever given her.

He didn’t say anything, just kept hugging her, but she sensed his confusion. “Well then, you’re welcome,” he finally murmured after a long moment.

His baffled tone pulled a watery laugh from her. She felt lighter inside, as though a heavy weight that had been crushing her for years had suddenly vanished. “I promise not to overstay my welcome though.” Things were so new between them, she didn’t want to spoil it by being underfoot and spending so much time together that he either got bored or realized how neurotic she could be with her housekeeping.

Logan eased her away from him and met her gaze with a slight shake of his head. “That’s not possible.”

The tide of emotion rising inside her was terrifying, yet there was no denying how she felt about him. “We’re really different,” she said. “I mean really different.”

“Yes we are,” he agreed, his lips quirking in the hint of a smile.

“I’m a big homebody and you’re not. I like quiet. I like my space, I like things tidy.”

“And I don’t,” he finished with a grin, his eyes dancing with humor now.

“Well, at least you’re honest.” She smiled back at him, then sobered. “You think we could make this work? I mean, it’s not like either of us is going to change. Not really. We’re too set in our ways now.”

“I think if we can each compromise a little here and there, yeah. We might even balance each other out real well.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to get bored with me. I mean, I’m not exciting like you. I’m not an adrenaline junkie.”

He snorted softly and shook his head at her. “I won’t get bored with you. Trust me. You’re grounded. Settled. I need that in my life. I want that in my life.”

The worry faded a little. She would try to relax her uptight tendencies a bit, because he was worth it. “So we’re… You’re looking at this as a possible long term relationship then?”

He gave her the most endearing smile and stroked the hair back from her cheek. “I’ve already made up my mind. And yeah, I want exclusive and long term. That scare you?”

“Yes.” It also thrilled her to her toes.

He huffed out a laugh. “Me too, a little. But I’m in too deep to let you go. My heart’s already yours.”

Aw, dammit, she was getting teary again.

She swallowed, dug down deep for the courage to say the words that scared her the most. She’d faced death twice today, and had overcome every other obstacle life had thrown at her. Telling Logan how she felt about him shouldn’t be as scary as all that, but it was.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Sure, go ahead.” He watched her intently, his big palm cupping the side of her face.

“I think I might be falling in love with you.” She whispered it because she was afraid to say it any louder. Then she held her breath and stared into his eyes while her heart knocked against her ribs.

A smile lit his face, then he dragged her into his arms and crushed her to him. “I’m damn glad to hear that, because I’m right there with you. Plus I’m bigger and heavier than you, and that means I fall faster and harder.”

It seemed surreal, almost impossible. Yet there it was. Logan Granger was falling in love with her.

“I’m all yours for the taking, sweetheart. And just so there’s no misunderstanding, you should know that I don’t plan on ever letting you go.”

Before she could do something embarrassing like burst out crying, he tangled his fingers into her hair and tipped her head back to bring his mouth down on hers in a kiss that sent her body and heart soaring.

In that instant, it seemed like all the broken little pieces of herself knit back together. Logan wanted her, wanted a lasting and committed relationship with her. And she was ready to take that leap with him, because…

I am worthy.