Vivian

“I’m going with you to see your mom,” Vivian insisted, as she placed their breakfast dishes on the tray by the door.

She really wanted to be there for Blaidd. It was bad enough that Zora hurt herself, but the reason she did it made the situation worse. Although Vivian still couldn’t believe Zora betrayed her son. Then again, she didn’t know the woman as well as Blaidd did.

“Thank you,” he replied.

“Primitus, is this the last one?” Sito, another of Blaidd’s guards, asked, as he picked up the final critter’s cage.

“Yes. Indago can tell you where to take the tiny mob,” Blaidd replied with a slight chuckle, clearly referring to the incident last night.

“Hey, no teasing,” Vivian declared, and bumped him with her hip, as they followed Sito out of the bedroom.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blaidd replied soberly, though the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement.

“Rotten beast!”

Sito glanced back with a look of censure, hearing the way Vivian talked to his Primitus.

“See,” Blaidd whispered, when the guard turned back around. Blaidd then smoothed the lapels of his formal jacket, and puffed up his chest in mock self-importance.

Vivian stuck her tongue out at him. Blaidd barked out a laugh, making Sito turn back around again. Vivian quickly pulled her tongue back into her mouth, before the guard saw. Blaidd just laughed harder.

Blaidd grew quiet on the ride down in the elevator. Vivian reached out and took his hand. He squeezed it and cast her a wane smile. They reached a floor with sterile pale blue walls, and uniformed staff moving about. Vivian cringed as they passed a werewolf with a nasty gash on his forehead. Blaidd led her through the lobby to a room with a guard posted at the door. They entered to find another Lupercalia sitting vigil in the corner, while Zora lay quiet in the bed.

“Sorry, Primitus, there has been no change. I’ll let you be,” the she-wolf doctor reported, before leaving the room.

Vivian stood beside Blaidd, as he knelt by the bed and took Zora’s still hand.

“I don’t understand why, and I can’t get any answers like this,” Blaidd whispered.

“Then try to give her the benefit of the doubt,” Vivian encouraged. “It’s okay to leave room for hope. She’s your mother.”

“I’m having a hard time with hope lately, and trust too.” His reply was so quiet, she almost didn’t hear it.

Vivian clasped Blaidd’s other hand. She couldn’t blame him for his grim outlook. He’d been betrayed and locked away for five long years. To learn your own mother was somehow connected would be beyond devastating. Vivian felt Blaidd’s heart ripping in two, as if it were her own.

“I understand what you’re feeling.” Vivian squeezed his hand. “I once loved someone, and they betrayed that love in the worst way possible. I know how it feels to wake up every day hoping that it will be better, because god knows it can’t possibly get worse. Then you’re proven wrong, till the day comes that you stop hoping. And that’s the worst day ever, because not only is your hope gone, but now you find you can’t even trust yourself. After all, you’re the fool that strung yourself along with that foolish notion of hope, when all the facts pointed to the opposite.”

Vivian thought of all the excuses she told herself to explain away Steve’s behavior as it got worse and worse. She imagined waking up every morning in prison felt much the same.

“Vivian,” Blaidd said softly, his face twisted with pain, as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” Vivian shook her head, “because I know I was wrong.” She smiled at Blaidd through bleary eyes. “Just when I was at the end of my rope, a man from a million galaxies away, someone who didn’t have to care at all, with great risk to himself, plucked me from my nightmare.”

“I made things worse for you.”

“You healed my arm, and repeatedly tried to alleviate my fears, even as I cursed you for it.” Vivian caressed Blaidd’s cheek. “You gave me back my hope,” Vivian choked on the words.

“Vivian.” Blaidd turned his face into her hand, reveling in her touch.

Vivian wished she could express the depth of what she was feeling, because Blaidd deserved to hear it. But words didn’t do it justice, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t really explain it to herself. Vivian felt like she was a whole new person, with a host of bright possibilities laid out before her. She was near bursting, like a cup running over. And Blaidd was responsible for that.

“I know I don’t know your mom very well, and I have no clue what happened, but when we first met, Zora said some things that helped me feel less alone.” Vivian stroked Blaidd’s cheek, as he knelt next to her. “And I’d bet my life she loves you fiercely. If that amounts to anything.” Vivian smiled meaningfully at him.

“It does.” Blaidd kissed Vivian’s open palm, then turned and kissed Zora’s hand.

 

Blaidd

A pensive smile tipped Blaidd’s lips, as he rode the lift down to the hangar. He didn’t relish dropping Vivian off on his level then leaving. Vivian had this uncanny way of turning his world upside down. Making it brighter by her mere presence.

Blaidd thought about what Vivian said. She was right. The unexplained evidence didn’t negate a lifetime of his mother’s love. But what struck Blaidd the most, was Vivian’s other admission. As rough and cynical as he was, it was hard to believe he was capable of bringing anyone hope. Yet the way Vivian said the words with such sincerity shining in her dark eyes, brought Blaidd to his knees.

Maybe there is hope, Blaidd thought as he stepped off the lift.

“The beasties are all loaded up,” Indago said, pointing to the skiff with cages in the back. “I think this is a great idea. So, what did Vivian end up choosing?”

“A tiny black reno,” Blaidd chuckled, recalling poor Vivian inundated by the critters. “Although, yet again, my plan to do something for Vivian went awry.”

“Really? What happened?” Indago asked as they climbed into the skiff and pulled out of the tower hangar.

“I promised Vivian I wouldn’t tell. Although I want Amber and Luna stripped of their access to my chambers and their rank in our clan,” Blaidd growled.

“Koyat’g fate, what did that pair do?” Indago’s eyes widened, wondering what happened to merit such a severe judgement. “Is Vivian okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. Let’s just say my gesture would’ve been better received if those two weren’t involved,” Blaidd grumbled. But it wasn’t that Amber and Luna ruined his attempt to give Vivian a gift, that angered him the most. “I won’t tolerate their jealous displays. Vivian could’ve been injured. They’re just lucky she insisted I not overreact, otherwise I’d be sending that pair to another clan outside Setmar,” he snarled.

Blaidd was thankful the incident with the pets turned out amusing, but only because he arrived when he did.

“As you wish.” Indago nodded formally. “The clan is going to ask, and I have no problem saying nothing. Although now you’ve got me curious.”

“I promised not to say,” Blaidd again insisted. “But you can ask Vivian this evening, when we eat. She’ll probably dock my ears, but it’ll be worth it.” Blaidd grinned.

“That little thing, dock your ears?” Indago asked incredulously.

“You have no idea,” he chuckled.

“I hate to change the subject, but I saw there was no change with Zora.”

“No.” Blaidd shook his head. “I think my time in the Hold made me jump to conclusions. I don’t know what her involvement is, or how she got caught up in this plot, but either way, I don’t think I can be objective. I’m liable to be too harsh or too lenient,” Blaidd worried.

“I understand. She is the sister of my mother, so I feel the same,” Indago sympathized.

“Regardless, we need to try to continue this inquiry as unbiased as possible.”

“I personally questioned the clan. None of the guards saw anyone coming or going from Zora’s quarters. But if someone accessed your private lift, they could’ve made it in and out of her chambers unseen.”

“I’ve never relished the idea of having surveillance in my private quarters, but perhaps that needs to change,” Blaidd growled in frustration, as they pulled up to the barren lot in the omega sector.

“I hailed Phaedra. She was kind enough to use her gift to gather families who are interested in a new addition,” Indago reported.

“That’s good.” Blaidd looked at the group gathered in the field. “I’d feel bad turning some wide-eyed little cub away.”

“You could just buy more pets,” Indago laughed.

“True.” Blaidd shook his head at the fact he bought out the store, making the shop keeper exceedingly happy.

Blaidd hopped out of the skiff and admired all the work that had been done to the barren field. There weren’t more than a dozen plants at the far end, but the infrastructure was nearly complete, making the space look less ravaged. Even if nothing grew, this was a vast improvement.

“Let’s divvy up the beasties, then get to work. I want to meet and thank whoever came up with this plan,” Blaidd commented to his cousin, while they pulled the crates off the skiff.

Blaidd chuckled as he was quickly inundated by a mass of younglings.

“What do you say to the Primitus?” One female goaded her cub.

The little male was bent over the scaly blue squama’s crate, his tail excitedly beating the air, till he glanced at Blaidd. The young cub stood nervously in front of Blaidd.

“Thank you, Primitus.” The little male gave him a formal bow.

“You’re very welcome.” Blaidd bowed back, with a smile.

The child’s eyes widened, surprised the Primitus returned the respectful gesture.

“Thank you,” the cub’s mother replied in gratitude and pride, before they headed off with their new pet.

It had been too long since Blaidd mixed with the omegas in their neighborhood. He missed it. He had many fond memories from this place.

Blaidd looked down when he felt something tug at his pant leg. He grinned seeing the little female staring up at him. She had the cutest big brown eyes.

“Umi, what are you doing?” Another young male rushed forward looking horrified. “I am sorry, Primitus, my sister is too young to know better. G-ava, look what Umi’s done.”

Blaidd noticed the out-of-breath old female attempting to keep up with the energetic pair.

“My apologies, Primitus,” the matron said once she caught her breath.

“It is nothing to worry about.” Blaidd picked up the little female standing at his hip. “What beastie would you like?”

Umi whispered something Blaidd couldn’t hear, so he leaned in closer.

“I want Purple,” she said into his ear with the most adorable little voice.

Blaidd chuckled at how Umi vibrated with excitement in his arms, as he fetched the purple feathered penna from its cage. Umi quickly took hold of it.

“Umi, don’t hold the penna by its neck,” her brother insisted with a disbelieving shake of his head.

“I’m not squeezing. Its wiggly,” Umi hissed down at her brother.

“You might loosen up just a bit,” Blaidd suggested, seeing the poor penna’s eyes bulge.

Indago snorted in amusement.

Considering the creature tried to peck Vivian the night before, a part of Blaidd decided the beastie bully was getting its due. This would be a suitable family. Blaidd had no doubt the two younglings would keep the active critter more than occupied.

“What’s your name?” Blaidd asked the little male.

“Bayl.”

“An honor to meet you, Bayl.” Blaidd nodded to the cub. “And you too, Umi.” He smiled at the female in his arms, who was busy ruffling the penna’s feathers.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Primitus and Chief Beta.” Bayl bowed.

“Thank you for your generosity,” their grandava said.

Blaidd considered the trio. They were poor, but the old female kept the duo fed, clothed, clean and happy.

“I hope this new pet won’t burden you too much,” Blaidd said to their grandava.

“Oh, no, the penna will be good for hunting vermin,” the matron replied with a toothy smile.

“It’s my turn to hold it, Umi,” Bayl informed his sister, so Blaidd set the little female down.

“His name is Purple,” Umi insisted.

“Well, Umi, let Bayl have his turn with Purple, it’s your nap time.”

“I’m not tired,” Umi huffed, as she handed the penna to her brother.

“Listen to your grandava,” Blaidd encouraged.

“Yes, Primits,” Umi said sullenly, then toddled off with the old female.

Blaidd couldn’t help smiling at her pout, and the way she butchered his title.

I wish I could’ve brought Vivian. She really would love seeing all this.

 

Vivian

Once Blaidd left for the day, Vivian put Dingbat in her cage, then headed through the limen, emerging in the mage’s parlor.

“Phaedra,” Vivian called out, but got no reply.

It was nearly noon, and there was so much to do, so she headed to the omega’s park. The volunteers were out in full force again, finishing up the trenches, paths, and planting beds. At the far end of the field a horde of children were gathered. Vivian smiled. She knew the park would benefit everyone in the neighborhood, but the idea of the children having a place to play excited her the most.

Before she hunted down Phaedra or Coal, Vivian stopped to check on the plants that were transplanted.

“This just might work.” Everything looked like it was thriving in its new home.

“Good day, Vivian. How did I do?” Limber asked as she approached.

Vivian smiled seeing the she-wolf. She was glad Limber returned after being abandoned yesterday.

“They’re great! Thank you so much. This is really promising. See how the leaves are full and standing up straight. That means the plants are happy. It may take a bit, before we know if they’ll thrive in this soil, but so far they seem content.”

“You talk about plants like they’re people,” Limber chuckled.

“I do, don’t I. I sometimes think they’re easier to read than people. If they’re thirsty, they droop, diseased, they get spots.”

“I guess that’s true. I hope you’re happy, and grow up big and strong,” Limber cooed to the sapling, making Vivian laugh. “Do you know what’s going on over there?” Limber pointed to where all the children were gathered.

It appeared the crowd had grown since Vivian last glanced that way.

“No. I got here just before you did, and wanted to check the plants first. I assume they’re all here to help.” Vivian got down on her knees to examine things closer.

“I imagine my father will get them corralled.” Limber joined Vivian on the ground.

Vivian fished a hair tie from her pocket, and pulled her hair out of her face, before testing the moisture level in the soil.

“Stick your finger into the dirt like this.” Vivian demonstrated. “Because these plants tolerate dry soil, they’re fine. But if it gets too wet when it rains, we need to note how they do.”

Limber was awfully quiet all of a sudden, so Vivian turned to see what was up. Limber was staring at her, wearing a funny expression.

“What? Do I have dirt on my face?” Vivian brushed her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Um, no.”

“What is it then?” Vivian frowned.

“Uh,” Limber paused, then pointed to the side of Vivian’s neck.

“Oh!” Vivian instantly remember the bite mark, and blushed.

“Did the Primitus do that?” Limber asked wide eyed, a cheeky, fangy smile splitting her face.

“Hush,” Vivian hissed as she turned a deeper shade of red.

She quickly pulled out the pony tail, letting her hair fall back around her neck and shoulders.

“You do smell like him,” Limber sniffed harder. “I just thought it was because you were staying in his chambers. No - it’s definitely more than casual.” Limber reached out and brushed Vivian’s hair back. “That looks deep. Did he draw blood?” Her expression shifting to shock.

“The Lupercalia really have different notions of personal space.” Vivian batted Limber’s hand away in embarrassment.

“Please tell me.” Limber was practically vibrating with curiosity.

“Yes, he drew blood. But I bit him back, so, we’re even.” Vivian stuck out her tongue at her nosy friend.

Limber’s mouth dropped open.

“I know he’s the Primitus. I probably shouldn’t talk so cavalierly about biting him, or call him Blaidd. I’ve noticed some of the guards get kind of touchy.”

Limber didn’t reply. She just shook her head in disbelief.

“What? Did I break some sort of law?” Vivian was starting to get a funny feeling about this.

“He didn’t tell you?” Limber asked, when she got over her shock.

“No, Blaidd didn’t tell me anything. Of course, he wouldn’t, the rotten beast. He thinks it’s funny when I do stuff you’d probably get in trouble for.”

Great! I have one bout of wild sex and it turns into a federal case. I’m probably going to get Blaidd impeached or something.

This was reminiscent of when Vivian traveled to Europe, but multiplied times ten. She looked online for unusual laws, so she didn’t wind up in jail. Vivian vowed never to go to Singapore, since inevitably she’d get arrested coming off the plane, just for chewing gum.

“Oh, this is too good.” Limber adopted an ornery expression. “If you tell me what other things he lets you get away with, I’ll tell you what I know.”

“You’re a rotten gossip,” Vivian laughed.

“Come on. Life was dull before I met my human friends,” Limber practically whined.

“Promise this isn’t going to get anyone in trouble.” Vivian narrowed her eyes at Limber.

“It stays between you and me,” Limber reassured her, while tugging down one pointed ear.

Vivian snickered at the unusual gesture, assuming it was the Lupercalia version of zipping your lips.

“Fine. When I first arrived, I threw a pillow at Blaidd’s head. He just laughed, and insisted I should throw something harder next time. I’ve yelled at him, playfully slapped him, and just this morning I stuck my tongue out, like I did to you.” Vivian wasn’t about to admit to tying Blaidd up during sex. That was just too personal.

“Really?” Limber giggled.

“Yes, now, what awful law did I break?”

“None, really. The Primitus is the law.”

“Then what’s with the shocked face? Your mouth was open so wide, you nearly caught flies,” Vivian asked in confusion.

“Um, well, how much do you like the Primitus?”

“I like him.” Vivian tried not to blush again. I like him a lot.

“Good,” Limber replied giddily,” because you’re as good as mated. Fate, I’m so jealous. Indago insists we wait till I’ve reached twenty seasons, before he speaks to my sire,” Limber huffed.

It was Vivian’s turn to be shocked, as Limber babbled about mating Indago.

“Mated!”

“If he drew blood, and you did too, and you were, well, you know.” Limber nodded.

Vivian’s mouth hung open.

That’s what Blaidd was trying to tell me last night. He should’ve told me, Vivian reeled at the news.

“You don’t look very happy,” Limber said nervously.

“Are you sure? It just sort of happened. We didn’t plan this.”

“How romantic. I can’t believe I’m friends with the new Prima.”

“No, Limber, it’s not romantic. Blaidd can’t be mated to me.”

I knew things were moving too fast, but I ignored it. Oh my god. Vivian wanted to cry. She couldn’t believe she let herself get swept up in this bizarre fairytale. And now - and now - oh, god!

“I’m sure the Primitus will make this right. He’s not just a good leader, but a good person,” Limber insisted, seeing Vivian was freaking out.

“I know he is,” Vivian choked on the words.

How could you have let this happen, Vivian berated herself. You knew this was turning into more.

“Vivian, look, I have a pet,” Bayl plopped onto the ground between Vivian and Limber.

Vivian’s eyes widened seeing the miniature purple ostrich in Bayl’s arms. It could’ve been a coincidence, but she doubted it. Vivian turned toward the mob of children at the other end of the field, then stopped.

 

Blaidd

“You’ll have fun with the beastie, especially once this park is done,” Blaidd commented to Bayl, as they handed out the rest of the pets.

“I can’t wait.” Bayl stroked the penna’s silky feathers.

“Indago, we should find Coal, and see if he has a job for us.”

“I bet it will have something to do with that garbage over there. Why are there pens full of rank trash?” Indago exclaimed in disgust.

Blaidd snorted. He could easily see Coal giving them the worst job. Coal wasn’t fond of Blaidd, but he really wasn’t fond of Indago. Although Blaidd had a feeling that sentiment would extend to anyone interested in his daughter.

“When it rots, it turns into food for the plants. But you only put certain things in there,” Bayl explained.

“Ah, okay.” Though Blaidd really didn’t get it, since he knew nothing about plants. Setmar was an industrial city. There weren’t a lot of cultivators around. “We need to remember to ask Coal to introduce us to whoever came up with this idea,” he reminded Indago.

“I can introduce you,” Bayl piped up.

“You know who’s making this park?” Blaidd asked the excited young male.

“Yeah. I’ll take you to meet her.” The male happily clutched his new feathered pet, as he took off running across the field.

Blaidd took a longer route than the eager cub, following a recently laid stone path to reach the other end of the fledgling park. Blaidd froze a dozen yards from the two females, shocked by who he saw.

Vivian!

Blaidd growled as he stomped toward Vivian and Limber. Vivian turned suddenly, her eyes meeting his in surprise.

That’s right, you’re in trouble, little Prima.

She wasn’t supposed to be outside their quarters. His hackles stood on end. Blaidd looked around the park, assessing potential threats. He wouldn’t put it past his enemy to open fire on the omegas, just to get to him.

Vivian stood and dusted herself off when he reached her.

“We need to talk,” Vivian said, beating Blaidd to the punch.

She pulled him aside, and Blaidd felt like he was the one about to be scolded. He was the Primitus, and yet this tiny female, with her serious tone, had him second guessing what he was about to say. Blaidd screwed up his courage and forged ahead.

“Vivian, you know why I wanted you to stay in the tower,” he growled. “You just convinced me not to think the worst about my mother, which means whoever is to blame, is still out there.” Blaidd stopped mid rant when he realized there were tears in her eyes.

Knowing how Vivian had been treated in the past, Blaidd instantly felt guilty for laying into her. But Vivian had to understand how grave the risk was.

“I get it, I should’ve told you. It’s a poor excuse, but things kept coming up and I never found a good time to tell you. And I just couldn’t stay cooped up in your mausoleum.” Vivian waved toward the tower.

This is your fault. You’d try to find a way out too, Blaidd cursed himself. You should’ve expected this.

“I’m sorry, Vivian. I know how lonely you’ve been,” Blaidd relented with a frown. “How did you make it out of my chambers, without my guards alerting me?”

Blaidd was not only frustrated with his himself, but also his guards. Someone should’ve noticed Vivian sneaking out. He was ready to knock some heads together.

“The old limen in your storage room. I accidently fell through it that first day, and met Phaedra,” Vivian admitted.

Her reply took some of the wind out of his sails.

“I forgot about that thing.” Blaidd shook his head. “I also should’ve guessed the crone was involved in this.”

“I know I kept this from you. I’m sorry, Blaidd, really, I am. But I want to know how long you planned on keeping this from me?” Vivian pulled her hair aside exposing the bite mark.

Koyat’g fate! Blaidd looked toward Limber. She diverted her eyes, and he knew how Vivian found out.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Blaidd replied.

“We’re basically married, but you didn’t want me to worry about it!” Vivian’s voice rose in distress.

“I wanted us to have more time together, before I asked you to stay,” he admitted.

He’d screwed up so much. He just needed more time.

“Oh, Blaidd. I wish -,” Vivian paused. “Even though I lo-,” Vivian stopped again, her chin quivering. “I can’t be your mate. You are some sort of prince, with obligations to your people. There are things you don’t know about me. I can’t -,” she choked on her tears.

Vivian covered her mouth and shook her head. Before Blaidd could say another word, or wrap her in his arms, Vivian took off running toward Phaedra’s dwelling.

“Vivian!”

Blaidd sprinted after her. He easily caught Vivian, and spun her in his arms. The devastation in her eyes mirrored his own.

“Treasure, why can’t we give it a try? I’ll take you home if you insist, but I can’t imagine my life now without you,” Blaidd’s voice strained.

Vivian looked sadly at the other end of the field. Blaidd turned to see the young playing with all the pets he’d given away.

“I was pregnant once,” Vivian said so softly he almost didn’t hear her. “That was when things got really bad, and Steve -.” Vivian stopped and shook her head.

Blaidd repressed a snarl as he pulled Vivian against his chest. The scent of her anguish was so strong it was breaking him.

“I can’t give you children!” With that admission Vivian broke down, sobbing inconsolably.

Blaidd was instantly enraged. He wanted to kill Steve all over again. The bastard hadn’t just hurt Vivian, he’d stolen her chance at a family. And it seemed the vile male had stolen Blaidd’s as well.

He wanted to tell Vivian it would be okay, but Blaidd couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat. So, instead, he picked Vivian up, and carried her trembling form into Phaedra’s house. On instinct, he walked upstairs, to the room he used to stay in when he was young, and laid with Vivian on the bed. Blaidd held Vivian tight, stroking her back, as she cried for the both of them.

 

Vivian

The knock on the door roused Vivian. Being wrapped in Blaidd’s arms was a wonderful way to wake up. Then Vivian remembered everything that happened in the park.

“Blaidd, Vivian,” Phaedra said through the crack in the door.

“Yes?” Blaidd asked, as he continued to gently stroke Vivian’s back.

“Vivian has a visitor at the tower,” Phaedra said, as she entered the little bedroom.

“Who?” Vivian asked with a confused frown, as she sat up.

“Your mother. I told Indago you’d meet her at the portal in the tower.”

Vivian gasped.

“Harper must have sent her,” Blaidd said soberly. “Thank you, Phaedra.”

Blaidd helped Vivian up. She was exhausted to the very marrow of her bones. Wordless they walked downstairs, and stepped through the mirror. Vivian felt like she was walking to the gallows as they exited the storage room chocked full of wondrous things, and passed through Blaidd’s palatial bedroom. It all seemed unreal, like a dream. Vivian stared at the transporter room door, knowing what waited on the other side.

“Vivian,” Judith exclaimed the second she and Blaidd entered.

“Hello, Mom.” Vivian was glad to see her mom, but it came out stilted.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

She nodded, but it was a lie, and her mother knew it. Vivian’s eyes were red and swollen from all the crying.

“What’s going on, Mom?”

“Harper learned forensics came back, and you were eliminated as a suspect. With her help, we came up with a story to match the evidence. You can come home.”

Vivian nodded. She wasn’t entirely stunned by the news. She knew her mother was here for a reason.

So, this is goodbye. It’s for the best.

Blaidd stood at Vivian’s back, deathly quiet the entire time.

“Mom, I need a minute.”

Vivian took Blaidd’s hand, and led him to the window.

“Stay,” he husked softly, his golden eyes swimming with a host of emotions.

Vivian stared at where their hands were joined. The light brown velvet on the back of his hands shifted to rough bare skin on his palms. They were such large hands, but he held her so gently. The claws on the tips of his finger were retracted, so he didn’t score her skin.

“I can’t,” Vivian’s sobbed, though she tried not to. “You need someone to follow in your footsteps. I-I can’t give you that.”

“I don’t care about that. I care about you.” Blaidd gripped her hands tighter, desperately trying to hold on to her.

The tears flowed down Vivian’s cheeks as she shook her head - no. She never wanted Blaidd to regret what he’d have to give up for choosing her. It was devastating enough to come to terms with it herself.

“I will come with you then,” he implored, and Vivian’s heart shattered into pieces.

“It would only make it that much harder when we parted.” Vivian pulled free and stepped back, though it killed her to do it. 

Blaidd took a step toward her then stopped, the devastation that twisted his face was crushing. Vivian could hardly breath as she stepped onto the limen platform. Vivian stared at Blaidd, attempting to memorize the color of his hair, the shape of his eyes, and how velvety smooth the scruff on his cheek was.

I love you, Vivian thought as she closed her eyes, but sometimes it’s not enough.

This time she didn’t feel the sensation of falling, over the rending pain that tore through her. When Vivian opened her eyes again, she was standing in Harper’s living room.

“You’re back,” Harper said. “What’s wrong? What did Blaidd do?”

Vivian stared blankly at Harper and the dark haired Torvus man who was her husband. It took everything in her to stay standing, when she wanted to collapse in a puddle on the floor.

“Nothing. Thank you for your help,” Vivian managed to say. “Mom, I need to go lay down.” Vivian headed for the door.

“Okay, sweetie. Here’s the transporter medallion, Harper. Thank you. I’ll call after we get settled, so your mom can remove this translator earring.”

“Alright. I’m glad everything’s smoothed out,” Harper said with a concerned smile.

Judith followed Vivian out the front door. Vivian stopped when she reached the sidewalk, realizing she didn’t even know what car her mother drove anymore. That’s how long it had been since she last went anywhere with her mom.

Fuck you, Steve. Fuck you! He was dead, but he was still torturing her, taking everything she cared about.

Judith opened the door on a nearby green Honda, and Vivian climbed in. The scenery that passed looked so foreign, as they drove to her mother’s home. Things had changed and there was no unchanging them.

They pulled up to the condo, and Vivian admired the garden her mother planted. She got her love of plants from her mom. As they walked to the door, Vivian wiped away another stream of tears, when it dawned on her she wouldn’t see the park she started.

“I’m so glad you’re home. This has been -,” Judith paused with a shake of her head.

“I know, Momma.” Vivian hugged her mom. “Do you mind if I go lay down?”

“No, sweetie.”

Vivian wandered upstairs. She didn’t bother to turn down the bed, just kicked off her shoes and climbed atop the covers. Vivian clutched the pillow and gave in to her desolation, desperately missing the strong comforting arms that held her just an hour ago.