“MISS COLLINS, IS THERE anything I can get you?”

“Discharge papers,” I said to the nurse.

“It’s only overnight. After what you’ve been through and in your condition, the doctor just wants to be certain that everything is okay and monitor you through the night.”

I nodded, more tears filling my eyes. I hadn’t been able to stop the waterworks since the emergency room doctor gave me the news. I should have told Nox right away.

I didn’t.

Now it was a few hours later. I was tucked into a hospital bed and waiting for Dr. Beck to arrive.

The door to my room opened. The flowers were the first to enter. Well, those and the long jean-covered legs I knew so well.

“Look what I found,” Nox said as he placed the ridiculously huge bouquet on the table beside the bed.

“We’re flying home tomorrow. Don’t you think that’s kind of silly?”

“No,” he said. “After all the shit that’s happened, if I want to shower you in rose petals, it’s my prerogative.”

“I was a little shocked that you and Deloris both left me.”

Nox pulled a chair closer. “She’s with Chelsea. I never really left. I just thought you and the doctors needed some privacy, but…” He leaned over and gave me a kiss, lifting the necklace from my chest and rolling the platinum cage between his thumb and fingers. “…I never took my eyes off of you. And the two men guarding your door weren’t going anywhere.”

The necklace wasn’t the audible one. If it had been, he’d know what I wasn’t brave enough to say.

I exhaled. “Bryce is back in jail…”

“Medical unit. Psych ward. That’s what they’re saying on the news. His gunshot was only a flesh wound. Isaac knew what he was doing.”

I closed my eyes, imagining what Suzanna was going through. Once she’d learned he’d survived, she was elated, only to learn that he was being detained again. Now it was a psych ward. What would that be like for a mother?

“Isaac said something…” Nox said.

I opened my eyes. “Oh, how is he?”

“He’s fine. They didn’t keep him long. He’s legit. I mean I don’t employ criminals to keep those I love protected. He has the license and permits. He was within his legal rights.”

My cheeks rose. “I never thought you employed criminals.”

“Your stepfather did. He has called me and my father criminals in every conversation.”

“His world is crumbling. He’s the one who’s delusional.”

“Did you talk to your mom?” Nox asked.

“Briefly. I’m kind of tired. I told her we’d be back tomorrow.”

Nox sat in the nearby chair, his ankle crossed over his knee as he leaned back. Seeing him, his calm and cool demeanor after everything we’d been through, tugged at my heart and twisted it in knots. His words from months ago came back to me. They’d been playing on a loop since the doctor in the emergency room explained why they wouldn’t be performing the CT scan.

I tried to pay attention as he said something about Isaac, something about Bryce. I was hearing his deep voice and watching the movement of his sensual lips, but I wasn’t listening. Instead I was hearing a conversation from a while ago, from the night he’d told me about Jocelyn.

 

“I want to know how you feel about children.”

“I don’t know… I think I’m too young.” I shrugged. “I guess my mom had me when she was about my age, but I want other things first.”

“But eventually?”

“I suppose,” I admitted.

“I don’t.”

 

In my mind the words from another time took on new meaning. His voice became more determined, more emphatic.

He didn’t. No discussion, just no.

“Charli, are you listening?”

I shook away the past. “What? No. Sorry.”

“Is it your head?” he asked, jumping to his feet. “I don’t understand why they didn’t do that scan. We could be on our way. I mean, even Chelsea is out of here.”

“Nox?”

He lowered the side rail and sat by my side, his weight dipping the mattress and causing me to roll toward him. It wasn’t far, but his warmth was there, beside me, comforting me.

“I-I’m sorry.” The words stuck in my throat, bubbling up with the sobs I could no longer suppress.

He exhaled as he smoothed my hair away from my face. “There’s no reason to apologize. I’m sorry. I should let you sleep. We can talk about Isaac and Spencer, about all of it, tomorrow or never. I don’t care.”

“Dr. Beck is coming to see me.”

“Okay, who is he and I thought you’d already been seen.”

I nodded. “I have. He’s my doctor, or was while I lived here.”

“That’s nice.” Nox’s eyes widened. “Your mom’s doctor too, right?”

“Yes.”

“I remember his name from all the stuff my dad put together on your mom.”

I tried to explain. “I wanted to see him when I first got here, to Savannah, but I never got the chance. If I had, I would have asked—”

“If you had,” Nox said, interrupting the prelude to my explanation, “you could have found out all that stuff about your mom. He ran tests and everything. Oren thinks that’s why your stepfather changed doctors.”

My stomach twisted as my limbs became weightless. It was like I was floating suspended. It was disconcerting and odd.

“Charli, you are sure you’re all right?”

I exhaled as I focused on his stare. Feigning a smile, I said, “I think I need to rest.”

Nox pushed a button on the control lying beside my pillow. As the bed moved back, he kissed my forehead. “Let me turn down the lights.”

“I love you,” I said.

“I hope that’s not the bump talking.”

The tears came back. “I-it’s not. I just…”

“Shhh,” he soothed. “I love you too. Get some rest. We’re going home tomorrow.”

“Limits… hard limits?”

His blue eyes shone in the dimmed room. “Get some sleep. You know mine. We can keep looking for yours.”

Tears sealed my eyes, the moisture gluing my lashes to my lids as I closed out the world.

The nurse used the phrase: barely pregnant. Can a person really be only a little pregnant? Was I ready? I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know how to answer.

It wasn’t planned. I could say that without a doubt.

I’d wanted to get birth control. I’d planned it, but things got out of hand. With everything that had happened, I couldn’t even remember my last period.

As Nox settled again in the nearby chair, I heard the cushion exhale.

My head throbbed more from pent-up anxiety than from my injury. Quietly, I allowed the tears to ease down my cheeks. I didn’t want Nox to know I was crying, but it was getting increasingly difficult to hide. If only I’d brought my pills. I should have had them in my purse, but I didn’t.

Did it happen at the hotel? Maybe in Rye? That wasn’t that long ago.

A little pregnant.

The swish of the door against the floor caused my puffy eyes to open.

Nox stood as I focused on Dr. Beck. When our eyes met I shook my head, praying he wouldn’t mention in front of Nox the reason for his visit at this late hour.

Oh, please don’t congratulate him.

“…Lennox Demetri, Alex’s boyfriend.”

“Mr. Demetri,” Dr. Beck said, “nice to meet you. I’ve known Alexandria, well, before anyone.” He smiled. “I delivered her.”

I struggled to push the button, bringing me up to sitting. “Dr. Beck, it’s been awhile.”

“And look at you, you’re lovely.” He turned to Nox. “The first time I saw her she was a little tiny pink thing with bright copper hair.”

Nox smiled while I continued to pray that Dr. Beck would stop talking about babies.

“I’ve grown up,” I said.

He tapped a small laptop, one I was sure had my current medical records. “Yes, you have.” He looked between Nox and I. “Before we begin, can you tell me about your mother?”

“She’s doing well. Much better.”

“I tried to get into Magnolia Woods,” Dr. Beck explained. “I don’t have privileges there, but I hoped…”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t you, Doctor. It was Alton. He didn’t want you there.”

“What’s going to happen?”

“It’s not common knowledge, but she’s going to file for divorce.” I wasn’t sure why; however, Dr. Beck’s reaction surprised me.

“Young lady, that’s the best news I’ve heard.”

My eyes opened wide. “Well, I’ll pass on your reaction to my mother.”

“I have years of records. If they could help with the divorce or anything else…” He turned to Nox. “… if that’s being pursued, I’m available.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Nox said. “We can pass that on to her. Doctor, Alex is tired. Can we get this done so she can sleep?”

“Yes, if you’ll excuse us for a few minutes, we’ll proceed.”

“I-I…” Nox stuttered, undoubtedly surprised by the doctor’s request.

“Thank you, Nox,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be outside if you need me.”

Dr. Beck and I both nodded.

Once the door was closed, the doctor came closer and lifted my hand. “You haven’t told him?”

The damn tears came back. How could there be any left? Pressing my lips together, I shook my head.

“You were engaged to Edward Spencer?”

I took a ragged breath. “It’s hard to explain. I was, but I wasn’t really.”

“Is this young man the father or are you upset because you don’t know?”

“No! I know. He’s the father. Bryce and I never…” I didn’t finish the sentence, suddenly embarrassed by the conversation with a man who’d known me since I was born.

Dr. Beck smiled. “…had sexual intercourse. It’s okay. I’ve been a doctor for nearly forty years. I’ve learned how it all works.”

Warmth filled my cheeks. “Bryce and I never had sex. I know how it works too, and Nox, Lennox, is the father. He’s the only possibility. I haven’t told him because this is unexpected and I don’t know how he’ll feel.”

“Another thing I’ve learned in those forty years is never to assume you know the answer to that question.”

“It’s just that…” I shook my head as I lifted the sheet to wipe my eyes and nose. “I’m not even sure how I feel.”

“Well, let’s look at the results.” Dr. Beck opened the screen on the laptop. “I miss good old paper charts. You never had to wait for those to boot up.” He paused. “First, how are you feeling? Your head I mean.”

“Honestly, it hasn’t been in my thoughts at all.”

“No headache?”

“A slight one, but I think it’s more nerves.”

He nodded. “Let’s see here… according to the blood test done in the emergency room…” He looked up from the screen. “Now, you should know this is only an estimate. An ultrasound would tell us more. Based on the hCG level in your blood, you’re approximately six weeks along.”

His words squeezed my chest. “No, that can’t be right. I’ve been on the pill. It was just these last three weeks I’ve been without my pills. I’ve thought about it. It had to happen a little over a week ago.”

“Now,” Dr. Beck said. “Do you remember me saying that I know how this works?”

“They said a little pregnant in the emergency room.”

His lips pressed together as he shook his head. “Ain’t no such thing. There is and there is not. You, my dear, are. Did you not wonder why you didn’t have a menstrual cycle after you stopped taking the pills?”

“No, I-I hadn’t thought about it. There was a lot happening.”

“Well, let me explain. You didn’t have a cycle because you were already pregnant. Your uterus was holding onto that little fellow. This can happen even with oral contraceptives. The good thing is that you stopped taking the pills. It’s usually safe, but it’s better to be off of them. Have you noticed any weight change?”

“Loss. I’ve noticed loss. Nerves.”

“Could be. More than likely it’s your body feeding the little one inside of you.”

I leaned back against the bed and closed my eyes. How did this happen? How had I not realized? Nox had said I was too thin. Even Patrick said I looked like they were sucking the life out of me. It wasn’t them.

Oh God. Alton was going to force me to marry Bryce and I was already pregnant with Nox’s baby.

Nox.

His words came back again, the same chorus, same verse.

 

“I want to know how you feel about children.”

“I don’t know… I think I’m too young.” I shrugged. “I guess my mom had me when she was about my age, but I want other things first.”

“But eventually?”

“I suppose,” I admitted.

“I don’t.”

 

I took a deep breath. “I’m too young.”

“You’re a baby in my eyes. It never ceases to amaze me when my babies have babies. You’re only about a year younger than your mother was. But watching babies have babies has been one of my greatest joys.”

“My mom was married.”

“Alexandria.” He set down the laptop and reached for my hand. “I’m not too old to understand. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

My heart ached, broke. Hard limit. Nox hadn’t found mine, but he knew his own.

“I’m a student… I-I don’t…” The tears came back with a vengeance. “He said he didn’t…”