Chapter 19

Soft drops of rain tapped at the glass and the weak grey light gently nudged Sage awake. His lips curved at the quiet peace and the smudged beauty of a winter storm as tree branches dripped down the windows as the sun came up. He sighed as he rolled onto his other side and a breath caught in his throat.

Robin was safely cocooned in Jeremy’s arms and they were sleeping soundly on the pillow next to his. Jeremy was wearing his shirt and trousers, he must have been in the middle of getting dressed when the baby woke up. His face was relaxed and the soft curve of his lips was soothing and irresistible as Robin’s hand rested on Jeremy’s cheek.

Sage felt an immediate bond with the baby from the moment he first saw him. Jeremy fell in love instantly as well but Sage kept expecting him to become overwhelmed and reach his limit. This was the same man who could be reduced to tears over coffee rings on the bathroom counter. But he wasn’t losing his mind every time he found one of Robin’s socks on the stairs or a baby wipe under the coffee table. Apparently, Robin would get away with more than Sage ever could.

Because Jeremy loves Robin completely. There’s no limit to what he’d do to protect his child or make him happy. The incredible realization of what that truly meant crashed upon Sage and tears pooled in his eyes. As a father, Jeremy would be unsuitable and ridiculous in a thousand different ways but he’d be completely devoted and adore Robin unapologetically. There would be no safer child in the world than their son. Robin had his own secret service agent for life and his own intelligence agency. A bond was forming between them that would be so much more than the normal father/son bond. Sage could feel it growing and becoming stronger every day. Robin loved Sage. He clung to him for comfort and laughed and played with him but he became enthralled and reached for Jeremy as soon as he walked into the room.

But it was the way Jeremy changed that took Sage’s breath away and made his chest burn with pride and love. There was so much peace and honest joy and he seemed truly content when they were quiet and alone. The restless prowling and feral menace of Lavender didn’t lurk in the shadows, haunting Jeremy, the way he used to. He was relaxed and present when he was with Robin, his eyes didn’t linger at the door and his feet didn’t itch to roam. He’s healing and he’s becoming whole. He has a family and he’s finally found peace.

“Look at what you did, Maddie the Catastrophe!” Sage whispered then clapped his hand over his mouth as a sob of tremendous gratitude and grief crashed into him. Jeremy’s eyes snapped open and his hand curved around Sage’s jaw as their lips collided. He drank Sage’s cries of sorrow and happiness until they weren’t too much for him to contain on his own. Sage lost something vital and precious when Maddie died but she left her grace and magic and blessed their lives with more joy and love than either of them could have expected. He lost a treasured piece of himself but she’d fixed them and healed wounds hands could never touch.

“Stay right there,” Jeremy said faintly then slipped from the bed with Robin. He returned and gathered Sage in his arms. “I wish there was some way I could feel this pain for you but I promise you will heal and we will be happy,” he said as he rested his forehead on Sage’s.

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. It’s just hard because this is the most I’ve ever lost and I can’t feel this kind of joy without remembering that it wasn’t luck that did this. She’s gone,” Sage said then pulled in a watery, shuddering breath. He held it then pushed it out slowly and smiled. “But this is what she would have wanted, if she knew she couldn’t be here. She was beautiful, funny, fierce and a little insane and I think she would have loved you and wanted to fix you.”

“I think she has,” Jeremy agreed. He kissed Sage tenderly as they rolled and stretched until Sage’s pajama pants and Jeremy’s clothes were scattered around the room. “I love you so much,” he whispered reverently as he slid into Sage’s body and filled him with slow, driving strokes. He was soothing and patient as he wrapped Sage in strength and hope. Their fingers, lips and tongues interlocked as their bodies merged. Jeremy slipped from Sage’s tight heat so he could ride his cock and it was intoxicating and their bed became a sanctuary. They spilled in and out of each other as they twisted, clung and shifted languorously. They swam in lips and skin and hands and gasps until they were drenched in sweat, saliva and cum then held each other as they caught their breath.

“Thank you for fixing me,” Sage said as locked his arms around Jeremy. He couldn’t stay in bed if he was awake unless he was having sex. He’d get restless and the need to shower and pick a different suit for the day would become too strong but Sage would hold on to him for as long as he could. “You had every right to be hurt and feel betrayed, you could still be bitter and it would be reasonable. But even when you were furious and wanted to leave, you stayed and helped me through this. You set it all aside and put me first and accepted Robin without a single complaint or a hint of resentment,” he said and Jeremy shook his head as he kissed him.

“It only took me a moment to see that he was every single thing I love about you in one tiny, absolutely perfect bundle. I thought you were the only thing my soul would ever need but then there was a second you and I needed him too. I don’t know if that’s fatherhood. He’s my life and I will lay the world at his feet because I love him more than every other thing on this earth that isn’t you, because he’s so full of you. There hasn’t been a moment when I resented Robin after laying eyes on him, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. It’s a terrible tragedy, Maddie’s death, and I can’t believe it was meant to happen. I can’t regret anything that’s happened after her passing and I’m eternally grateful to both of you for loving each other enough to make Robin,” he said and Sage felt even more relief and peace.

“I can’t wait for him to know how much love there was when he was created and how much love his life has brought into the world. He’s going to have the most amazing life and do the most amazing things,” he predicted and Jeremy hummed in agreement as his lips teased Sage’s.

“I think you’re right.”