Chills race up my back, it’s freezing, and I feel disgusting. Something tickles my leg and I kick out and swat at my leg. Something’s on me, scuttling up my jeans.

“Oh, God. Argh, get it off me!” I screech, jumping to my feet and doing a jig on the spot. I unbutton my jeans and yank them down, kicking them off and rubbing at my legs. A bug crawls from beneath the crumpled heap my jeans are in.

“Eww,” I cry out. Gross.

Buzz comes barreling into the room, his gun is drawn. He appears stunned when he looks at me. His eyes drop to my legs and I realize I’m standing in just my underwear and shirt. I cover my panties and point to my jeans. “A cockroach. A goddamn cockroach.”

He frowns. “And?”

“And it was on me, Buzz!” I screech.

“It won’t hurt you.”

“It’s a disgusting cockroach.”

“Welcome to how the other half live, Princess.” He snorts and throws a bag on the floor.

“You lived in the clubhouse, asshole, where I’m pretty sure the only cockroaches are the ones with fake tits and two legs, not eight,” I spit out.

“Six,” he deadpans.

“Six what?”

“Cockroaches have six legs, they’re insects.”

My cheeks heat. I knew that.

“What’s your fancy school teaching you?” he ridicules.

“I’m done.” I stamp my foot like a two-year-old.

“Shut up and eat something.” He points to the bag he just dropped on the floor.

“No.”

“No?” he breathes, exasperated.

“Not used to hearing that word?” I smirk.

He closes the space between us and grasps my chin with his entire hand. “Just not used to listening to it,” he corrects.

“Pig,” I hiss at him.

“spoiled bitch,” he spits back, pushing me away from him.

Fuck him. I’m so done. I look to the front door, he’s been out for food.

“I’m leaving,” I state, confidence dripping from my voice but lacking in my courage. There’s a part of me that thinks he wouldn’t hurt me, not seriously anyway, if I did try to leave. But then there are the stories I’ve heard about him and Tats. That terrifies me.

“Sit the fuck down and eat.” He moves over to where his laptop is set up and sits down, flitting his fingers over the keys. He leaves me chained to the kitchen pipe while he leaves the house to go charge that thing, it must be somewhere nearby. I need to get out of here.

“They’re going to trace your connection and come for me,” I warn, and he glares over at me.

“You think so?” No, I just want you to drop a clue about where we are. He says it so confidently that I wonder if he wants that to happen. To just end it all. There’s this desolate look in his eyes, like losing his brother broke his heart and stole whatever soul he had left.

“I reroute the WIFI, ping it off everything from here to kingdom come, no one can trace me. No one.”

I shrink, my shoulders sagging. “I’m freezing Buzz. I’m already getting ill and it will just get worse. It’s been weeks. How long are you going to keep me here?”

“As long as it fucking takes. Now stop bitching at me. If you’re cold, put your pants back on. I don’t need to be seeing you like that!” he shouts, picking his laptop up and storming into what was once a kitchen.

Tears brim my eyes, and I want to scream until the foundations crack and tumble down around us.

I pick up my jeans using my thumb and pinky finger and shake them to make sure the critter didn’t crawl back in there, and then slip them up my legs. My whole body tingles and itches. A cold shiver races up my spine and I scratch at myself.

How long have I actually been here? It’s been too long. Why hasn’t anyone come for me yet? Do they think I’m dead? Have they given up on me?

No, no! Scorch will come for me, he won’t give up. Will he?

I listen for Buzz, but he’s fallen silent. My eyes dart to the front door and nervous energy sparks in my veins. If I don’t at least try, then am I really a captive? Slade and Scorch will ask if I tried to flee and I haven’t, not really, but only because I’ve not had the opportunity.

My heart pounds and I take a step towards the door. Nothing happens. I take another step.

Does he actually just trust that I won’t run?

Fuck it.

I rush to the door and unlatch it. When it opens in my palm, my breath catches, and adrenaline floods my entire body. He didn’t lock it.

I take off running out of the garden, through the gate and onto a road. Rows and rows of houses that are boarded up, some that are even falling down, line the street. Graffiti is sprayed over boarded-up windows.

I suck at the air to fill my chest and my lungs burn. My legs tire but I keep going. The soles of my feet smart and beg for relief. But I can’t give them any.

Stones and twigs corrupt my speed and then heavy footfalls sound out. Boots slapping asphalt.

No. No!

I run, willing my legs to try harder but I feel him crowding in around me like a storm, and then a hand grasps my hair and I’m yanked so hard backwards my feet lift from the floor.

I cry out and kick.

A burning path screams over my scalp and then I’m in his arms.

“No.”

I scream and fight, my nails dig into his flesh and my feet kick at his shins.

“Calm the fuck down!” he growls against my ear but I’m hysterical. My mind is closing down and my limbs are moving on their own accord.

I’m done, I’m so done.

He releases me, and I drop to my knees. The concrete bites into my flesh. I get to my feet and take off running once more, heading for the tree line instead of the road. I whip into the brush and try to disappear into its camouflage.

The trees loom over me, darkness from the approaching night closing in. Thunder roars in the sky and the heavens open, pelting me with ice cold sleet. I’m soaked through within seconds, but I don’t stop. Twigs cut into my feet and whip past my face.

Suddenly I halt, my feet freezing on the ice when a gunshot rings out, cracking the sky like thunder. It sounds so close that my ears ring.

“Enough!” Buzz roars, clearing the trees and pointing his gun in the direction of my head.

“Do it!” I coax, my voice shaking.

His eyes squint and his pulse ticks in his jaw.

“Fucking do it!” I scream, this time taking the steps towards him. I reach up and grasp the barrel of his gun and pin it to my forehead.

“Do it. Do it. Do it!” I roar.

He flicks his wrist, and I feel the impact of him cold clocking me and then…

…Nothing.

* * *

Pain. It’s searing and clouding my thoughts. My hand lifts to touch the thudding in my head and pain explodes where I touch. I hiss in pain and blink my eyes open, thankful that the dim firelight takes mercy on them. I ache all over and feel like I could sleep for a week.

Awareness trickles through me and the hairs raise on my arms. There’s a blanket over my body, it itches my flesh.

I jolt, sitting bolt upright. My head smarts but I ignore it and instead pull the covers away from my body. My naked body.

Panic seizes my chest and I can’t take a breath. My lungs tighten, and I panic, holding the blanket to my chest.

Warm arms come around me and pin me to a hard chest. “Breathe.”

Buzz coaxes in my ear but I tense all over and begin to shake uncontrollably.

“You were soaking, I didn’t want you to catch your death,” he assures me.

My body muscles relax, and oxygen begins to filter through to my lungs.

“I’m sorry for hurting you but you shouldn’t have run.”

“You can’t keep me forever, Buzz,” I cry. I’m exhausted, my body weak and tired. I hold the blanket to my flesh, clutching it like it’s a life raft.

“Why can’t I?” he breathes out, but I think it’s more for him. He inhales my hair and I stiffen.

I need to try a different tactic.

“Would Tats want this? Would he want you to keep me prisoner?” I ask.

His arms tense and I gulp down the fear of pushing him too far.

“Tats is dead, he can’t want anything.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. I’m sorry for what Brenner did to him but it wasn’t me. He’s not coming, it’s been too long. Please just let me go.”

“I miss him.”

My heart stammers. He sounds so vulnerable. I chance a look over my shoulder and see his eyes cast down.

“I don’t know who I am without him.”

Closing my eyes, I take in a few breaths. He’s scared, in pain and broken.

“What do you want to be?” I ask.

Silence falls around us all but the crackling of the fire, and then he says. “Not lonely.” It’s so raw, like the inner boy who lost everyone in his life has come to the surface.

A tear drops from my eye as I swallow his words down.

I turn to face him and see defeat etched on every inch of his face, lines crinkle his forehead and tears well in his eyes.

I slip my arms around him and bring him to rest his head on my shoulder. The contact makes him solidify at first but then he relaxes into me, his hands gripping around my back and holding me so tight it’s hard to breathe. But I don’t stop him. I don’t pull away. I offer him this comfort. He’s human, and he’s in pain.

“Just lay with me awhile,” he begs.

“Then can I go?”

“If you just lay with me a while.”

So, I do. I lay down. He rests his body against mine, the warmth of his skin heating mine.

He sighs, and I try to keep my eyes open, but I fail.

Sweet oblivion takes us both.