Nora wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, grimacing at the bitter aftertaste of Apollo’s shake. “Blech.” Her tongue wanted to escape her mouth. “There’s a bite to it. It doesn’t come right away.” She smacked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “But it’s definitely there now.”

“Probably the oregano oil.”

Tipping her head, Nora considered the flavor. “I guess it could be. A distant cousin to spaghetti sauce maybe. Very distant.”

“It’s good for you. Stop complaining.” Apollo kissed her temple and sat across from her.

The shake really wasn’t as bad as Nora made out, but her awkwardness and dread of the upcoming conversation had her playing it up. How did she start a conversation meant to change Matisse’s behavior?

Bound to feel attacked—him against the five of them who shared the same opinion—this was a discussion that could head south fast.

“I don’t know what to say,” Matisse began. “I know what you’re all upset about, and I understand.”

With her elbows on the table, Nora propped her chin in her hands. “So you won’t race anymore?” Was it that easy?

“I—” He paused. “I can’t make you that promise.”

“Why not?” Seok asked. “No more racing in the city. Only on the tracks. It seems reasonable.”

Matisse nodded then shook his head. “We’re careful.”

“Not everyone else is careful, though, Tisse,” Ryan added. “Not to mention the legal ramifications if you’re arrested.” Catching his green eyes narrow, Nora wondered if there was more to what Ryan was suggesting than a ticket.

“I know there are.” Matisse sighed. “I don’t want to go to jail or hurt anyone. The group is small, less than twenty. And we all know what we’re doing. We have a plan and a system, and the only people who get hurt are us.”

“Being the most skilled racer in the world doesn’t guarantee your safety. Especially not when you add the wider public to the mix,” Nora dropped her hands to the table, scooting forward to stare at him when he seemed intent on avoiding her. “Please. It’s going to be winter soon anyway. Maybe we can look into races that are more complicated than the around the track ones. We could save up and go to one of those European towns where they have the Formula One races all along the cobblestones streets. We could do that. I bet there are places in the US like that. They must have”—twisting her hand like a snake she indicated curvy roads—“these sorts of races here.”

“Nora—”

Before Matisse could go on, she interrupted him. “We don’t have to go to Europe. We can find places within driving distance. We can sleep in the car. Rent a U-Haul for your bike and go. Even Massachusetts is milder than Vermont in the winter. I wonder if they have races there. Let’s look it up on your phone.” Her words spilled from her mouth, giving away how desperate she was for him to agree.

For his part, Matisse didn’t make eye contact. He stared at the floor like it held all the answers he needed and shook his head continuously. As her voice rose in pitch, he crossed his hands over his head, fingers linking. Reaching out a hand to reassure him, she gripped his shoulder. When her hand touched his body, he jolted like he’d been electrocuted, chair flying backward as he paced the kitchen.

“I need the money from these races, Nora.” His eyes flicked to each of them, while his long, lean body loped from one end of the room to the other. “You all know we need the money.”

“We have plenty of money.” Seok’s voice was calm. He held one of his kerchiefs, and twisted it tightly. The muscles in his face where set. “We are fine, Matisse.”

“What if something happens? What if Nora needs to quit the study and they suddenly hand us a ten thousand dollar bill again? What if Apollo gets hurt? He has crappy student insurance with a huge deductible, and then we’re in for an 80/20 split. I can’t magic up twenty percent of a hundred thousand dollars. Can you? And there’s Ryan’s admission fees and deposit. Cai’s—Dieu—can you even imagine what he’s coming out with? A week’s stay? Christ.”

“Tisse,” Nora breathed. She’d had no idea he was worried about money. This was what the races were about? Not about taking risks, or feeling the wind in his hair, or having the need for... whatever. “I thought you loved the way you felt when you race.”

“I do.” He knelt in front of her and gripped her shoulders. “I really do. But these races—while they center me and make me feel good, the payout is enormous. Way more than I get winning at the tracks.” 

Nora’s hands dropped to her stomach where her anxiety was centered. It roiled, threatening to reject the shake she’d had. “We have money problems.” She’d suspected as much. It was why she stayed in the goddamn study. 

“We don’t have money problems,” Seok said. 

“I have a plan for school, Tisse. You’re not responsible for this. I thought I told you,” Ryan added. 

“I’d remember if you had,” Matisse said. “I have an eidetic memory.” 

“Cai has insurance, Apollo has insurance and hospitals have payment plans,” Seok added. 

“My mom used to say don’t borrow trouble,” Apollo said and winked at Nora when she caught his eye.

“I’ve got nothing,” Nora allowed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m in a weird position. I know the study is a double-edged sword, but with this job, I’ll eventually get ahead of the debt. And not taking classes or living on campus, I’m not accumulating more.” She pressed her fingers into her stomach, adding pressure to the pulsing ache of nerves. “I’m so sorry you felt like you had to do this, Tisse.”

“We need to come to each other with these kind of worries. No more solving problems on our own for things that affect all of us,” Seok commanded. Nora wanted to salute him. The seriousness of his words, however, kept her from doing so. Besides, he was right.

“I’m not good at sharing my worries,” she allowed. “I’ll try to be better.”

“Me, too,” Ryan said.

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be concerned about this?” Matisse ground out. “I’m not being illogical. There are very real money issues looming. And Nora is right. I do like the races in the neighborhood. I like the strategy and the speed. It will be hard to give up.”

They’d gone around in a circle. Discouraged, Nora stared at her lap.

“But I will.” He tucked his finger under her chin and lowered his head to hers, kissing her gently. “I’ll stop racing. In the streets. Around here.”

She couldn’t help the smile his very specific promises prompted.

“I’ll share my worries, and you’ll share yours,” she continued. She wound her arms around his neck so she could whisper in his ear. “I’ll reward you with kisses.”

“Not after these Apollo shakes, though. Okay?”

Groaning, she dropped her forehead to his shoulder then lifted and dropped it again like she was banging her head against a wall. “Exasperating man.”

“Sexy, kale-breathed woman.”

Snorting, she tugged him closer and tighter, loving the way he wove his long arms around her. “Thank you,” he whispered again. “I’ve never had anyone accept me the way you do.”

Her heart cracked a little at his words. “It’s easy,” she said. “You’re easy to love.”