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Fireblood by Elly Blake (16)

I SPENT THE NEXT DAY SEARCHING the castle for the throne of Sud, chasing my theory that there was another throne room hidden somewhere. I covered every square inch, aside from private bedchambers, and found nothing. As I stomped back to my room, I avoided eye contact with the courtiers and servants, filling the corridors and stairwells with the black cloud of my mood.

I’d made too many assumptions! Perhaps I had simply failed to notice the guards in Queen Nalani’s throne room. The throne on the schedule could be a code for something else. I was so desperate for answers, I was conjuring them from thin air.

I didn’t have the book. I hadn’t passed my trials. I had no idea what my next step should be.

Tired and dejected, I asked Ada to have supper sent to my room, where I sat on the edge of the bed, leaning against one of the corner posts. I was almost desperate enough to approach Prince Eiko, to ask him what he’d meant about our so-called common interest, to risk telling him everything. At this point, any action, no matter how dangerous, would feel better than doing nothing.

Shortly after Ada dropped off a tray of food, Kai showed up. He was dressed in a loose white shirt, left open at the throat, and his usual dark breeches.

“Having a picnic?” Kai said as he motioned to the untouched supper tray I’d set on the end of my bed. “How pastoral. I’ve brought the most important part of any meal. The wine.” He held up a bottle.

Wine felt too celebratory. “I’m fine with water.”

He grimaced. “Very well. But I’m having wine.”

“Suit yourself.”

We sat on either side of the foot of my bed, taking sips. I was glad he had come. His presence gave me a focus outside of the doubt and confusion fogging my mind.

“So about tomorrow’s trial,” Kai said, twirling his goblet idly.

“Tomorrow’s trial?” I sat up. “They’re still letting you take yours even though I failed?”

I finally looked at him closely. How had I missed that Kai was bursting to tell me news? He radiated suppressed energy, practically vibrating with excitement.

His lip quirked. “Letting us. It seems the council was forced to have a change of heart.”

After a frozen pause, I grabbed his sleeve with my free hand and shook him. “How? Why?”

He laughed delightedly. “All I know is that the queen has never interfered in the masters’ decisions about the trials… until now. She went to the school this afternoon and, for reasons I can’t even guess at, overrode their decision. She wants us to take our third trial! In my case, it’ll be my second try.” His eyes moved over my face and he chuckled again. “Are you sure you don’t want wine? Should I fetch some brandy? You look as if you’ve had a shock.”

I put my cup on the tray and took his shoulders in my hands. “We have another chance!”

My smile was so wide it felt like it was cracking my face in half. Just when I thought all hope was lost, the queen had turned everything around. I wanted to run and shout and pick handfuls of flowers from the castle gardens and weave them into garlands. I giggled at my own foolish thoughts. Hope was a beautiful thing.

Kai grinned back at me, his eyes warming appreciatively. “So this is what Ruby looks like when she’s truly happy.” He took my chin between thumb and forefinger, turning my face side to side, making a show of scrutinizing me. “I shall have to memorize this rare and lovely expression in case I never see it again.”

I swatted his shoulder and twisted my face away, laughing. “I can’t believe it.”

“You can no longer refuse wine. I insist.” He lifted the bottle, watching me as he filled my cup.

I took a sip, using the moment to calm my thoughts and focus. Originally, I’d wanted to take the trials to gain admittance to the library so I could find the book. Now I knew the book wasn’t there. Did I still have to take the final test?

Yes. If I couldn’t steal the information, I’d have to earn legitimate access to it. Passing the trials was more important than ever. Once I took my vows, I would be trusted, and the masters would answer all my questions.

The third trial wouldn’t be easy, though. Kai had failed it the first time, and he’d had years of training to prepare him. What were my chances without even a hint or two beforehand? My conscience nagged at me that knowing anything about what was to come was against the rules, but I discarded the inconvenient scruples. After all, I was doing this to defeat the Minax, not for selfish reasons. At least, that’s what I told myself.

I flicked my eyes back up, catching Kai watching me with an inscrutable expression. “I suppose you’re going to be miserly with details, as always?”

He took a sip before answering. “As it happens, I’ve decided I don’t give a damn about the code of secrecy.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

“Your close call during the second trial has altered my perspective. I want to give you the best chance to win.”

I found myself grinning again. “Then tell me everything.”

“Yes, I’m anxious to share the details of my secret shame that I’ve guarded for two years.” He smiled unconvincingly and took a few long gulps of wine, then picked up the bottle and splashed more into his goblet.

Mirth gone, I shoved the tray back to make room and sat next to him, my hand squeezing his upper arm. “Tell me. I won’t judge.”

He grimaced. “You say that now.”

“Fireblood promise.”

He chuckled. “There’s no such thing.”

I waited.

He sighed. “First of all, what I’m about to tell you probably won’t help you. I’d assumed that each test is the same, but your second test was different than mine. So it stands to reason your third could be different as well.”

“Go on.”

“The third test is about obedience. That’s all. Obedience. Nothing more. It’s easy as long as you agree to do the thing the queen asks. Simple.” His brows drew together and a look of pain passed over his face. “Or at least, that’s what I was told by Master Dallr beforehand: ‘Do whatever she asks, and you will pass.’ So I resolved to obey her, no matter what.”

“So the queen is present for the third trial?”

“She gives the orders and makes the final judgment.”

I nodded. “So what did she tell you to do?”

He set the cup down and stood, pacing the carpet. “I was sent through underground tunnels similar to the ones in the first trial. The way is lighted with torches so there’s no danger of getting lost. It’s merely a long way, giving you plenty of time to grow nervous.”

“You were nervous?”

“Of course.” He gave me one of his How foolish are you? looks. “Do you think me inhuman?”

“No.” I thought about how often I’d seen Kai scared. Never, at least not until my second trial. Not even when our ship could have ended up at the bottom of the sea. “Well, maybe sometimes.”

“I was nervous. I knew of other students who had passed the first two trials and never returned from the third. And friends who had passed the test and weren’t the same afterward.”

“Maybe becoming a master changes people.”

“So quickly, though?” He turned to face me, the candlelight bringing out the gold in his eyes and making his hair shine like polished bronze. “The change was almost immediate. I said good-bye to a friend that morning and a stranger returned to the school the next day.”

“Oh.”

He nodded. “So I knew it was something… big. Something difficult that would transform me or kill me. I was nervous.”

I took a sip of water and he drank some more wine. He went to refill his glass, but I grabbed the bottle and tugged on it. “I need you to be sharp tomorrow, too. For me.”

He paused and nodded, then put his goblet down on my dressing table and sat next to me. “I entered a chamber with a flow of lava running through the center. I stood on one side and someone else stood on the other. Someone I knew.” He cleared his throat. “I soon realized that it was a childhood friend, Goran, who had… well, let’s just say his weakness for gambling had led him to some activities that were rather… left of the law.”

“He was a criminal.”

“A thief, among other things. Tried and convicted several months prior. My other friends and I had mourned his foolishness in getting caught, and we’d drunk a toast to the memory of past exploits and moved on. Though we’d been close as children, I hadn’t thought about him anymore at all, really. He’d left school a year prior and fallen in with a crowd of petty thieves and wastrels. It was his own fault, I figured. I no longer concerned myself over him.”

“What did you have to do?”

Kai paused, then looked me straight in the eye. “The queen ordered me to execute him. Immediately.”

My breath caught. “Just like that?”

“His life was to be sacrificed for the greater purpose of testing one of her precious masters. What more glorious way to die? She actually said that.”

Anger made my lips tighten. “She’s as bad as King Rasmus.”

“No, no,” he protested a little too quickly, “she was merely carrying out tradition. Master Dallr explained it all to me afterward. The final trial is about sacrificing something for the queen, showing that you choose loyalty to her over all others. The masters are the protection and the strength of Sudesia, et cetera. I understand it.”

I suddenly felt very foreign, as if I would never comprehend Sudesian ways of thinking any more than I’d understood Tempesian ways. “What did you do?”

“Well, if I’d had the ability to manipulate lava as the queen does, I’d probably have used it. Much faster that way.”

“She does?” I asked, blinking a little.

He spread his hands. “It’s the mark of the royal family. Since I don’t have that ability, I used my fire.”

He paused, staring at the floor. I had an urge to take one of his hands and rub the back until his fingers unclenched.

“But then Goran screamed,” he continued softly, “and the sound tore at me. He never had a very strong gift, and consequently, he had a weak resistance to heat. Enough fire to gain entry to school, yes, but it was obvious after a couple of years that he wasn’t progressing. But without the designation of master, he couldn’t claim his title or the rule of his parents’ island. I think in retrospect his disappointment led him to his… other activities.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but it was obvious to me that it did.

“So Goran didn’t defend himself?” I asked.

“Well… he was chained.”

I swallowed my disgust, though it was directed at the queen far more than at Kai. “Go on.”

“I attacked him again. Again, he screamed. And then”—he inhaled sharply through his nose—“he started to beg. He told me his mother was ill—I don’t know if it was true. But Marta had been kind to me after my own mother died. Goran said she depended on him and that’s why he’d turned to thieving. He babbled on, rehashing memories of our childhood together: the time we’d stolen a fishing boat and been caught in a storm when we were twelve.” His lips curved gently. “The boom had swung and knocked me out cold. Only Goran’s proficiency with boats had saved us. He took me home before anyone knew I was gone, so I was fine. Yet he had taken a beating when he’d arrived home later. His father was not an understanding man. I’d made it home free and he’d…” He sucked in a breath. “Well, it worked. Every word stabbed at my heart. He’d been my close friend once and I couldn’t hurt him any more. I just couldn’t. I decided then that I didn’t care about the test. Not enough to kill my old friend.”

“So that’s why you failed?”

“That’s why, yes.” He turned to me and I sensed his need for understanding, the need to tell this story. It was unusual for Kai to be serious, to show vulnerability. He might be comfortable with many emotions, but he’d never shown the softer part of himself, his secret shame, as he’d called it. It was a gift I didn’t treat lightly.

He went on. “The queen warned me then that there are consequences to disobeying her command. She advised me to rethink my obstinacy and carry out her order. I refused. Three times she asked me to reconsider and I refused.”

He lifted his empty goblet and splashed more wine into it. I didn’t stop him this time.

“You see, I come from an old family, generations of Fireblood masters who ruled the same group of islands. We’ve been unwavering supporters of the Sudesian monarchy. There was no doubt that I would pass the trials, especially the test of obedience. When I passed my second trial, my father held a celebration that night, all our neighbors and nobles from the surrounding isles in attendance, including several princesses he would have been pleased to see me court. He was so convinced of my success; he gave me his ring that night.” He held up his hand, displaying the ruby ring he’d lent me as proof of his Sudesian ancestry. “The ring worn by all Sudesian princes or princesses, even though I wouldn’t actually rule until he was no longer able.” He gave a choking laugh, his smile at odds with his shadowed eyes. “I had tears in my eyes as he put it on me, a symbol of my ancestry, my worthiness to continue his line. I lived to please him, to make him proud. And finally, I had done it.”

He was quiet for a minute. The silence was complete. The castle slept peacefully, only a rising wind rattling the casements.

“What was the consequence the queen warned you about?” I prompted softly.

He blew out a breath and lounged back on his elbows, but his jaw was tense.

“I could have borne a lashing or a beating without complaint. But it wasn’t me who paid the price. The queen took control of my family’s island and gave it to one of the other masters, a prince’s daughter from a tiny, outlying island who had just passed her trials. Her family had built ships for the queen.”

“So… your father no longer rules.”

“He and my sister and her daughter live on our home island, but in a small house far from the estate where I grew up. The clay on their land is so dense and rocky it yields barely enough wheat to last one season. I send them coin, but my father is proud and won’t accept anything from me. So I have to give the money to my sister, who tells Father that her work as a tutor pays much better than it really does. I’ve offered her a place on my ship, but she won’t leave him. His health has declined. No doubt that’s my fault, too.”

“You can’t blame yourself for everything.” I wished I could smooth the tight crease between his brows.

“I don’t. I only blame myself for the things I’m responsible for, and that’s plenty.”

“So that’s why you sail your merchant ship and occasionally indulge in a bit of piracy? To send money to your family?”

“Also because it’s fun.” He grinned at me, the same disarmingly roguish smile that had grown so familiar. “But I’ve been hoping to find a way to restore my family’s name. And then, when I heard about you, I thought I’d found it. A nice fat offering”—I smacked his shoulder and he grinned—“in exchange for my second chance.”

“She didn’t want me as an offering. She thought I would fail. You said so yourself.”

“Well, you’ve proven her wrong.” He clinked his goblet to my cup of water and drank.

“So everything has unfolded according to your grand plan. Now, you just have to pass your third trial.”

“Yes. I ‘just’ have to pass. And for that, you ‘just’ have to pass.” The irony was clear. It wouldn’t be “just” anything. He stared into his empty goblet. “But what horror will she unleash on you tomorrow, hmm? What atrocity will she demand of me? That’s the part I didn’t let myself think of when I came up with this brilliant plan.”

“Is your test after mine, then? Assuming I pass?”

“I would guess so.”

I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them. I didn’t know anyone in Sudesia, so there was no danger that the queen would make me hurt someone I cared about. But still. “I don’t want to pass if it means killing someone. I’ve had to kill before and I made a vow to seek the light… .” I waved a hand. “Maybe that sounds fanciful—”

“It doesn’t.” He adjusted his body so that he was sitting sideways on one bent leg, his arm braced behind me as he leaned closer. “I could have closed my eyes to Goran’s suffering and killed him. Afterward, sometimes I wished I had. When my family had to leave their lives, their identities, behind and move into a dilapidated hovel with a leaking roof, then I wished I’d been stronger.”

“Cruelty isn’t strength.” As I said the words, I was reminded that Arcus had once said something similar after I’d run away and he’d found me in a blizzard. He’d said, “Tyranny is not strength.” At the time, it had surprised me, the idea that the mysterious, ill-mannered Frostblood held an opinion in harmony with mine. The memory gave me a twist of homesickness.

I waited for Kai to agree, but he seemed occupied with letting his eyes rove over me. Warmth slowly spread across my skin and I was glad my heightened color wouldn’t be visible in the dim light. It was confusing that I could think of Arcus in one moment and feel warmth for Kai the next. Arcus lived in my heart, but I didn’t know when I’d see him again, or if there was any future for us. He had told me we had to let each other go a little, and I had tried to do that. Kai was here, and he was warm and charming and alluring, drawing me into his current. I looked at the floor, trying to sort through the confusing tangle of thoughts and feelings.

“A debate for another time, perhaps.” He wound a lock of my hair around his fingers, seeming fascinated by the way the end curled. He brought it to his face and inhaled before tucking it back over my shoulder, his hands smoothing down my back. I shivered helplessly. “I’ve had too much wine to philosophize.”

“You seem lucid enough to me,” I replied lightly, though my heart had taken up an elevated rhythm at the stroke of his long fingers over my shoulder blades. “I hope you’re not planning to use the claim of intoxication as an excuse to flirt.”

“I never need an excuse to flirt—though I prefer to call it ‘appreciating your allure’—any more than I need an excuse to breathe. And you are more intoxicating than wine, Lady Ruby.”

I laughed to cover the way his words sent honey through my veins and how I had to make a concentrated effort to push the feeling away. “And you flirt almost as much as you breathe.”

“You don’t mind, though, do you?” he asked softly. “Not really.”

“I wish you’d told me sooner about the third trial,” I said quickly. Kai’s smile grew. He knew I was changing the subject.

“You realize what would happen if the queen found out I revealed even the smallest detail of the trials? I’m sorry if it took a while before I trusted you enough to risk my life for you.”

I let my breath out slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But, Kai… what do I do? If I can’t do whatever she tells me to do, where does that leave you?”

“I don’t know. But know this: There will be a price to pay if you don’t pass. You won’t walk away without losing something you care about.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t go, then. What if she decides to take my failure out on you?”

His hands cupped my shoulders and slid with careful purpose up my neck and into my hair, his thumbs stroking my cheeks, leaving trails of warmth over my skin. His gaze fell on me, dark and heavy, but his mouth quirked up on one side. “Are you saying you care about me?”

“Of course I do,” I whispered, unwilling to lie after the way he’d opened up to me. “You’re my friend.”

“Just your friend?”

His head dipped slowly, slowly toward mine. I could have pushed him away.

I didn’t.

Suddenly I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t care. I wanted the comfort—no, the excitement—of his kiss. I was tired of fighting the sense of ease I had in his company, the knowledge that we were so similar, so complementary. Our worlds weren’t at odds. I wouldn’t have to bury my nature, my very essence, in order to be with him. It could be so much easier than it had ever been with—

Thoughts fled as Kai’s lips met mine. They were warm and firm, gentle but confident, pressing and moving with gentle abrasion, back and forth, sending sparks through the sensitive flesh that had suddenly become the center of my universe. His tongue came out to touch the crease where my lips met and my breath drew in sharply, my mouth opening. The electric joy of it lit something inside of me, and then I was struggling to get closer, my fingers diving into the thick, bright waves of his hair. He pulled me tighter against him, his chest a hard wall against my softer frame, his strong arms holding me securely, as if they didn’t want to let go.

He pressed me back against the mattress, his weight making it dip, and his lips found their way to my throat. I moaned, and somehow that brought me to my senses.

“Wait, what are we doing?” I gasped.

“I didn’t think I’d have to explain it,” he murmured.

I pushed at his shoulder and he sat up immediately. We were both breathing hard, and he ran his hands through his hair to leave it comically spiked.

“You should go,” I said.

“First,” he said softly, reaching out to rub his thumb over my bottom lip, “what’s your answer?”

All I could think about was the warmth of his touch, the way my lips tingled at the gentle contact.

“What was the question?” I asked, struggling through layers of feeling.

He gave a satisfied chuckle, and the dark sound seemed to trail invisible fingers against my skin. His voice was soft but challenging. “Am I just your friend?”

I shook my head, coming out of the sensual fog he’d woven around me. He waited, but my confusion kept me silent.

I did feel more for Kai than friendship. I couldn’t deny it, but I wasn’t ready to admit it to him. And no matter how hard I tried to let go of Arcus, thoughts and memories of him were always there. He was a part of me. I wasn’t ready to let that go.

After a minute, Kai stood and went to the door.

“There will be reckonings, little bird,” he said, turning in the doorway. “With the trials tomorrow, certainly. But after that, with me.”