St Patrick’s Day

I usually loved St. Patrick's day. But this time around I had no enthusiasm for the festivities. Well, I had no passion for anything anymore. Instead, I found myself loathing every little event that was celebrated, no matter how trivial.

Each week the morale committee at work always chose wacky, and supposedly "fun" days to liven the place up. The week after my trip we celebrated Cherry Pie day and I almost cried when my fun-size treat in the shape of a heart landed on my desk. And it was all because I couldn't share these days with Nick.

I daydreamed about us walking hand in hand, watching the Paddy’s day parade. Eating treats, drinking Guinness, and even Nick wearing a ridiculous oversized green hat.

But it was still just a dream. It felt like the whole trip had been five days of exquisite pleasure that I'd conjured up. It was an unreal sensation and even when I told my friend about Nick, she looked at me with disbelief.

I'd promised to give myself a few days of wallowing but it had gone on for far too long. Nick wouldn't be wallowing, and would probably kick my ass out of bed if he knew how miserable I was. But he hadn't called. For whatever reason, he'd not used the piece of paper I'd slipped him.

He’d moved on.

And if he could move on then so could I… Well, maybe in a few more days. I’d give myself the remainder of the weekend then that would be that.

It wasn't the new year, but there were always ways to start fresh again and I'd already wasted so much time. And for the rest of the year, my life was going to be different or I was going to die trying.

And even though he hadn't called me, he had inspired me. Because of him, I would try new things; take a rock-climbing class, go to law school, finally pass the bar as I'd always promised myself I would, or for starters simply find a dry ski slope and get better at not falling on my ass.

Bringing the blanket up to my chin, I watched the local TV news interview people on the teeming streets, all excited about the parade that was about to start any minute and asking what floats they expected to see this time around. The camera panned and the crowd of spectators was a sea of green and happy faces.

I sat there and wished once again that I had gotten Nick’s cell number before I left.

With a sigh, I rubbed a hand over my face, feeling the same ache in my chest the day I walked away from him in the airport, hoping that he would call me when he got home.

He hadn't nor had he reached out in the last few weeks since then despite having my cell number. For the first couple of days or so, I chalked it up to him being busy on his arrival, settling into his business once more, catching up with his brothers and his mom.

But as the days went by, I started to lose hope. Maybe it wasn’t as strong as I thought it was between us, maybe it had all been some wild, crazy dream.

And if I didn’t have the snow globe sitting on my bedside table, I would have thought it to be just that.

My doorbell rang, jarring me out of my thoughts and I threw aside the blanket, wondering who could be at my door. I hoped to god it wasn't Tim. He hadn't tried to contact me since I got back either, and I wanted it to stay that way. But then I remembered the food I'd ordered so I could stay inside, have a picnic on the bed as Nick and I did in our suite, and watch the parade.

Walking towards the door, I picked up my purse ready to hand over the cash. But then I hesitated as looked through the peephole. The view was obscured and dark. What if it was some crazed serial killer? A snort escaped me. What would be the chances? He would have to be desperate to walk up the three flights of stairs and pick my apartment out of the other thirty on the floor. But I was cautious regardless, even if I should've been put out of my heartbroken misery.

“Who’s there?”

“Open up, Angel. It’s me.”

I sighed and banged my head against the door. “Go away, Tim. I told you I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Honey, just let me in and we can talk. Or we can go to the parade. You always loved Paddy’s day.”

I groaned, wanting to be strong. It would be so easy to let him in, to start again. To give in and not feel lonely anymore.

“Angel? I miss you so much. Please? I know I shouldn’t have slept with Michelle…”

His voiced droned on, piling on the excuses, but the mere mention of her name and the pain and humiliation he'd put me through came flooding back. I gritted my teeth and stood up straight. "Leave me alone, Tim! If you're not gone in ten seconds, I'm calling the cops!"

I heard him whimper then there was a loud thud as his fist or his head banged against the door. "I'm not going anywhere till you let me in!" The banging continued, pounding and rattling the chain that dangled from the door. I latched it quickly. Then closed my eyes and counted to ten.

But when I opened them again everything was silent. Was he still out there? I looked through the peephole again, vowing that if he were there I would phone the cops. No question about it.

A shadow moved, a figure in black coming closer to my door.

“I told you to go away!”

“Angel, it’s me. He’s gone.”

I threw the locks.

Slowly, I opened the door and nearly squealed aloud as I took in Nick standing there, a bouquet of green and white roses in his hands. He was dressed smartly in a tux that made him look like James Bond. He had an oh so sexy grin on his face and I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

"Hey, gorgeous," he said, holding out the flowers. "Happy Paddy's Day."

Trembling, I took them. “W-what are you doing here, Nick? What happened? Where’s Tim?”

His grin only became wider. “Wow, one at a time. I came to see you, silly. And yes I scared that little weasel off. He won’t be bothering you anymore.”

"I don't know what to say. Thank you. But why, Nick? I don't understand why you're here. You didn't call…"

“I know and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have waited so long. But you see, I went home to Minnesota, back to reality and finally realised that everything had changed.”

“It had?” I asked lamely, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. He was here. Nick was here, in front of me, outside my apartment door in North Carolina.

"Yeah," he answered, reaching out to touch my cheek with his fingers. "I realised I didn't want to go on with my life without adding something vital and precious to it."

Like strings pulling us together, I took a few steps forward, until I could smell his aftershave. “What was that?”

“You,” he said, his hand cupping my cheek. “You, Angel. Whatever we found in Colorado, it’s still here, inside me and I find myself unable to let it go. I tried to forget you. I was miserable… but I couldn’t. I need you, baby.”

“Nick,” I whispered, tears threatening my eyes. “What took you so long?”

He chuckled, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, crushing the flowers between us. "Well, a man can't just pick up and leave, Angel. I had to make arrangements, rent this dashing tux, and I had to secretly organise some time off from work for you. The whole nine yards… my grand gesture to you."

I laughed then, hugging him tightly to me, not believing this was happening.

“You called my boss?”

“Yes, he’s a pretty romantic kinda-guy. You have next week free, and you’re coming with me.”

He hadn’t given up. He had just flown across the country for me. “Where are we going? I’m afraid I’m a bit underdressed at the moment.”

He pulled back, giving me a once-over. "I've never seen an outfit more tempting." He then laughed. "But my mom might want to see you at least fully clothed."

“Y-your mom is here too?” I asked, shocked as I looked down the hall.

“No, but she wants you in Minnesota by the end of the day. The obligatory Paddy’s day feast.”

“You told your mom about me?”

He nodded. “She’s the one that made me see sense. Whacked me over the head with a TV guide actually for being so stupid, for not giving love a chance.”

“But, Nick… nothing has changed.”

"Everything has changed, Angel. Life is too short to not be with the one you love. I want you to come see my home, the life I could give you. I want you to move in with me, and be my lifelong roommate… I want you to be my Valentine every year from now on. But if that's not okay, I will drop everything. My business, my family. I will relocate here if I have to."

“You’d give all that up for me?”

“I’d give up everything to be with you.”

“You can’t Nick…”

“Why not? I will for you. I love you.”

At that moment I knew I felt the same. He was ready to give up his whole world so we could be together and I was too. There was nothing tying me down here, not really. I could get another job, apply to law school close to him, make new friends. And I would do it all for him.

“I love you too.”

“So is that a yes, you’ll come with me? Give it a trial run?”

I swallowed and glanced up into his loving brown eyes.

“When does our flight leave?”

His eyes lit up; the fires stoked and hot for me. "You're coming with me?"

“Yes!”

“Well, we have a few hours yet before we need to leave.”

I grinned at him, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door behind us. "That gives us plenty of time to get reacquainted then."

Nick reached for me. “I love the way you think, my dirty Valentine.”