There’s no way this was a good idea.

Ax drew a deep breath and pushed the thought away. Bad choices or not, there was no denying that it had been spectacular. Reality could hold off for a little bit longer, and he could pretend that this could be forever. Lying to himself was second nature, after all.

Kayana lay on her side, the natural color of the sheets stark against her skin, creating shadows that drew his eyes down to the dimple at the cleft of her ass. The desire to touch her warred against his general sense that he should let her sleep—it wasn’t like they had gotten much rest up to this point, and the sunlight coming in the window indicated that the ship would be able to pick them up before long.

He grinned at the tingle of his cock stirring, and muttered, “Though we probably have time for one more round.”

She rolled over with a quiet purr, blue-black hair falling into her face in a delightfully adorable tousle. “Did you say something?”

His muscles protested as Ax propped himself onto his elbows, reminding him that the night had been full of more exertion than he was used to. Not that he was complaining. If anything, the ache in his back was more of a trophy. He caught her hair with his fingers and tucked it behind her ear, pausing to stroke the pointed lobe. Her eyes closed, and she let out a shaky breath.

“Nothing important,” he finally admitted, amazed at how utterly her responses entranced him.

Kayana purred again, sliding forward across the bed until her head rested half on his chest. The invitation to keep combing his fingers through her hair was as blatant as it was irresistible, and she snuggled tighter as he massaged her scalp.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked, voice already a bit drowsy from the touch.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I think our shoes are all in a pile in the middle of the room.” She grinned against his skin before she kissed his chest. “Along with our clothes.”

“Not what I meant, and you know it. Just that this was...” He let his voice trail off as he collected his thoughts. “It’s only a matter of time until this all blows up.”

She pushed herself into a sitting position, the furrow of concern between her eyebrows almost enough to distract him from the fact that the sheet had fallen away from her breasts. “Until what blows up? You’re confusing me, Ax.”

He blinked at her casual use of his name. She’d said it before, but it sounded so natural on her lips that he wanted to hear it again, ideally during another of her nova-like releases. His eyes drifted back down the length of her body. Before he could give in to temptation he got out of bed and padded across to the small kitchenette. The morning air was chilly against his bare skin, but the reward was worth the suffering—a few quick taps and the room filled with the delicious smell of brewing coffee.

“I’m sorry. This was amazing, it really was. It’s just that I know it can’t last. At the end of the day, I’m just not good for women. Or anyone really. I suspect it’s my nature.” That was overlooking the fact that she’d be gone as soon as the race ended, or that Gobby was likely to kill him once she caught him. He could be a jackass and try to claim that he just hadn’t found the right person, but he was old enough to realize that the only common denominator in his failed relationships was him. “Sooner or later I rub everyone the wrong way.”

Kayana made a satisfied sound, arching her back as she stretched and drawing his gaze back to her chest. “Actually, you were rubbing me in exactly the right way earlier.”

It broke the tension of the moment, and his laugh was genuine, even if it didn’t completely chase the shadows away. He crossed back to the bed and sat before leaning over to kiss the spot where her neck and shoulder met. Her shiver of desire was almost as delightful as the tiny gasp she made. She had an entire catalog of sounds and responses, and he could spend a lifetime discovering them. The knowledge that he might never get the chance hurt more than he expected, like trying to breathe shards of glass.

“Again, not what I meant,” he said. “I’m just telling you that every time I’ve wanted more than a casual relationship, I’ve ruined it.”

She reached down to cover his hand with hers, threading their fingers together. “Every time?”

“The longest I made it was two years. Eventually we realized we were less lovers than a way to enable each other’s worst habits.” Which was probably the politest way he could put Gobby’s predilections. “I made a bad break of things when I left.”

That was also an understatement, but that had been as much Gobby’s fault as his.

Her expression went thoughtful. “I know what you mean. Or rather, I understand the concept. I wouldn’t know directly of course. I was engaged to be married from the time I was six.”

Ax blinked at her. Panic put an unexpected hitch in his pulse, but it didn’t hide the twinge of disappointment he had at the idea. “Wait. You’re someone’s fiancée?” He got up and crossed the room before she could spot his emotion, poured the coffees then brought them back to the bed. “Am I a home-wrecker?”

“It was called off more than a year ago.” She sipped at her cup, watching him as though she awaited his condemnation. “I didn’t meet him until both our families were ready. Once he actually saw me, he declared that I was unsuitable.”

The idea that anyone could find her unsuitable or undesirable filled him with protective anger. Whoever this fiancé was, Ax had a sudden desire to find him and beat him senseless. You know, unless the guy was huge. Then he could settle for teaching her how wrong that idiot was. “Well, that guy sounds like an ass.”

“He’s the scion and heir to one of the Nine Great Houses. The marriage would have been a huge improvement for my family, both in terms of status and economic power. The engagement itself was the product of three generations’ work between our House and theirs. My great-grandmother started the negotiations.” She flopped back onto the bed and let out a heavy sigh. “But yeah. He’s also an asshole.”

He leaned over and traced a kiss across her belly. “I know all about trying to deal with family expectations. I finally just left rather than continue to fail to live up to them.”

She squirmed, threading her fingers into his hair. “If it helps, you’ve certainly exceeded mine. How long before we have to get back to the ship?”

“You have a one-track mind.” Not that Ax was complaining. If they kept this about sex, they could stay casual. Nobody would get their hearts involved. Nobody would get hurt.

Well, no one except him, but after the trail of ruin he’d left in his wake, he probably deserved it.