Lina 12
Telor remained in a weird mood for the rest of the day. Even while we worked in the general vicinity of each other, no more words were spoken between us. Did he have something against Geminis? I wasn’t sure, but his mood went from sixty to zero in about ten seconds.
Seline was serious about the work hours. At five o’clock on the dot, she basically threw me out. I tried to catch Telor as we left, but he hightailed it through the door as quickly as he could. I sulked on my way home, wondering if he would be more talkative tomorrow.
There was something about him that I couldn’t shake. I wanted to be near him all the time, and there was a familiarity that I couldn’t place. I racked my brain, only to come up dizzy and a little nauseated. What was I missing?
I tossed my purse against the hall table and kicked my shoes off, banging against the deacon’s bench by the door. Walking toward the stairs, I stripped my shirt off and tossed it at the laundry room door. I’d move it later. I unbuttoned my pants, when a whistle came from the kitchen.
I practically jumped out of my skin, scrambling to cover myself, but releasing my now-undone pants. Then I was standing there like an idiot, in my bra with my pants halfway down my legs, searching the kitchen. The culprit was easily visible—Gavin. He was leaning against the island with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Hello to you, too,” he said. He had that smile that undid women in seconds flat, the one that made even the most self-respecting woman a drooling dumbass.
“Gavin!” I panted, willing my breathing to return to normal. “What are you doing home?” He tossed my shirt back to me, sensing my unease, and I slipped it back over my head.
“I wanted to be here to hear all about your first day back,” he said. A month ago, I wouldn’t have even bothered to put my shirt back on. There was seriously something wrong with me.
For the first time since I walked in, I noticed something delicious was cooking in the kitchen. Gavin must have been home for a while. He left work early to come home and make me dinner? He really was amazing. I was the one who was off here. I arranged my face into what I hoped was an acceptable happy face and turned back to him.
“What are you making?” I asked, trying to sound happy and excited, though even I could tell I’d overplayed it.
“Black beans and rice,” he answered, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up onto the counter. He moved a stray lock of hair from my face and said, “I missed you so much today.”
“I missed you, too,” I lied, guilt trickling into my veins because I honestly hadn’t thought of him all day. “Tell me about your day.”
“Same old, same old,” he said, rubbing my hips. “Tell me about yours.”
“Oh, you know, same old, same old,” I said in a bored voice. “Except for the lovely conversation I had with Seline this morning about my work hours. Something you wanna tell me?”
“I did it for your own good, baby,” he said, not looking at all apologetic. Baby…I wished he’d pick another name. “You overwork yourself, it’s not healthy. It’s okay to be angry with me right now, but one day, you will thank me,” he said, pushing back my bangs so they stayed off my forehead, caressing the side of my face, then running his thumb along my jaw. Letting my head fall to the side, I attempted to relax into his touch—to feel the shivers or butterflies that I was supposed to feel. Nothing. “Let’s not argue about this.”
“We’re not arguing, we’re having a conversation,” I sighed, pulling a little out of his grasp. “Gavin, I’ve been making my own choices for years. If I choose to stay at work for fifteen hours, then that’s my decision.”
“I disagree with your choices,” he answered, exacerbated.
“Well, you don’t have to agree with them, you don’t even have to like them, but you do have to respect them,” I said.
He opened his mouth as if he were about to respond then closed it again, not saying anything. Instead, he turned back to the stove to finish dinner. Rather than wait around in for him to decide to talk to me again, I went upstairs to change.
We ate dinner and chatted about things as usual. It was comforting to have some semblance of routine back. After dinner, we headed to the living room and watched TV. There was nothing good on. Finally deciding on 1000 Ways to Die, Gavin settled into the corner of the couch with me tucked into his arm, lying on his chest. Two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at this. It was just how Gavin’s and my relationship worked. Now, now it was nerve-racking and, frankly, a little uncomfortable.
A commercial came on, and Gavin caught my eye. I smiled, because I wasn’t sure what else to do. Slowly, he turned us, so I was under him. Hovering over me, he bent his head and kissed me. Slowly at first, but when I returned it, he deepened it. My arms automatically went to the back of his neck. Maybe things with us would just take some effort on my part. A little bit of time to get used to this. The new us.
Pulling Gavin closer, I returned his kiss with as much heat as he was giving it. His hands moved to the hem of my shirt and played with it for a moment, before I arched my back, giving him permission to proceed. A second after that, his shirt was laying on the floor in a pile with mine.
He wiggled himself between my legs and slid so his sculpted chest was pressed against mine, rising and falling with the heavy breaths he was taking. He kissed from my mouth to my neck, running his tongue up to my earlobe. I tangled my fingers in his hair, then ran my hands along his shoulders and down his muscular arms.
It should have been working by then, right? I should have been feeling something other than the indifference. An eerie awareness fell over me. As if someone was watching us, it was the same sensation I’d gotten this morning on my way to work. I searched the room and didn’t see anyone. Craning my neck, I tried to get a clear view out of the window. All I succeeded in doing was giving Gavin better access to my half-off bra, which by then was an all-the-way-off bra. It joined the pile on the floor.
The feeling was getting stronger by the second. I had felt it before, after Gavin and I came back from Oasis. And it was wrong to be doing this with him right now, when my mind was so obviously preoccupied with something—someone else.
“Lina. What’s the matter?” he asked, pulling away from me so he could see my face. “You just completely spaced out again.”
“Did I?” I hadn’t even realized that I had this time. “I’m sorry.”
He bent his head to kiss me again, and I wiggled free, sliding off the couch before he had the chance.
“I…um—I’m gonna go take a shower,” I said quickly, heading to the stairs, topless and all.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, his disappointment clearly showing on his face.
Not lingering for this to get even more awkward, I hurried up the stairs two at a time. I wasn’t sure which was worse, the hurt on his face or the relief that I felt.