I heard the knocking and tore myself away from the old photographs on the wall. I’d come to the cabin to be alone, who’d followed me here? If it was my mom again, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

I glanced out the window and saw her. Jade? She’d driven all the way up to find me? I stared at her for a moment. Her dark hair was soaked, and she had one arm wrapped around her chest as she anxiously watched the door.

She began shivering, and I snapped. I couldn’t leave her standing out there in the rain. I opened the door and took in her sopping wet form. “Jade.” Her name came out in barely a whisper.

“Kyle.” She stood there staring at me.

“What are you doing here?” I tried to keep my voice level, but I was hit by such all-encompassing emotion that I could barely see straight.

“I’m here because I need to be. I need to be with you.” Her eyes remained fixed on mine.

Her words almost broke me. I fought the urge to reach out to touch her. One touch and I’d never be able to let go. Instead I broke the intense gaze between us and gestured for her to get out of the rain. “Come in.”

“If you’re sure.” Her eyes searched mine, probably looking for evidence that I was really inviting her in.

“I am.” I took her hand and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her.

“You’re here.” My body trembled with the effort to keep away from her. Did I think I could really stay away? That I could hold any anger or resentment toward the girl who lit up my life? “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t know for sure. I got the address from Dana and took a chance.” She dropped her now sopping wet bag on the floor. “I’m worried about you. Everyone is. I know you are hurt, but that isn’t a reason to run away from everyone. You need to let someone in.”

“This isn’t about being hurt.”

“Then what is it?” She wrapped her arms around her chest. She shivered again.

“You need to get changed.” I headed toward the bedroom where I left my bag. I pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts, and then I grabbed a fresh towel from the bathroom. I held all three out to her.

She shook her head. “It can wait. First, I need to make sure you’re all right.”

“I still can’t believe you followed me here.” I resisted the urge to dry her off myself. I couldn’t handle watching her in such discomfort.

“You can push me away all you want, but I’m still your friend, and I still care about you more than you’ll ever know.” Her eyes locked with mine again. “I still love you.”

“Love me?” Her words filled me with a mix of confusion and warmth.

“Yes. I realized it a while back, but it took being pushed away to finally admit it out loud. I guess that’s life for you.”

“I don’t know what I feel right now.” That wasn’t entirely true. I knew. I just didn’t know if I should feel that way. I didn’t deserve her love. Not after what happened with Dylan.

“And that’s okay.” She looked at the ground. “But you do need to go back to Charleston, and you need to talk to your family.”

“Could you get changed?” I couldn’t handle watching her stand there all wet.

“Will you agree to come back to Charleston if I do?”

“Are you using your health and well-being as leverage?” She had to realize how important her comfort and health were to me.

“I know you care about me. You may not love me or ever want to be with me again, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care.” She looked down.

“Of course I care. That’s the thing. I care so fucking much that it blinds me.”

“What does that mean?” She bit her lip.

“I cared so much I ignored my brother’s call for help. I was so fixated on you that I couldn’t see anything else.”

She reached out a hand to me but then dropped it. “You have to know that whatever happened to Dylan has nothing to do with you.”

“I ignored him when he needed me most.”

“What did he need you for? Money or to clean up a mess he made? Isn’t that what you said he always calls about? I’m not trying to disrespect him, but do you really truly believe he was asking for another kind of help?”

“He was a good driver. It couldn’t have been an accident.”

“Unless he was drunk. You know that, but you’d prefer to blame yourself rather than to blame him. And that’s admirable, but sometimes it’s not about being admirable and defending someone else. Sometimes it’s about facing the truth and accepting that somethings are going to happen no matter what we do or say.”

“Get changed.” I held out the clothes and towel again. She was right, and her words stung me in a place I didn’t know could hurt again. My heart.

“Fine.” She pulled off her t-shirt and slid off her wet jeans. She stripped down right in front of me with no hesitation. She dried herself off while keeping her eyes fixed on me. There was nothing sexual about her actions. She wasn’t doing it to turn me on. She was doing it to prove a point.

She pulled on the t-shirt and shorts with nothing underneath. At another time it would have driven me wild knowing she was wearing just my clothes, but my body couldn’t feel that way now. “Will you come back?”

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

“The funeral is tomorrow.”

“And Dylan won’t know if I’m not there.” I looked away.

“You’re not going for Dylan. You’re going for your mother.”

I turned back to look at her. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Jade for long. “Have you talked to her?”

I nodded. “Yes. She knows everything.”

“Everything?” A few days ago I would have panicked, but it didn’t matter now.

“Yes. She knows about us making the relationship up, but also how it all changed. How I fell hopelessly in love with you only to lose you as soon as I realized what was happening.” Tears streamed down her face and all I wanted to do was wipe them away, but I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to stop there. I was going to let her in, and I wasn’t sure I could. I didn’t want someone so full of life to see the darkness. “But that’s not why I’m here. That’s not what’s important.”

“Of course it’s important.” Something snapped again, and this time I didn’t fight it. I pulled her into my arms and held her cold body against mine. “Everything about you is important.”

“I wish I could make everything better for you, but I know I can’t. I just want to be here for you, to help you.”

“I need you,” I admitted the very thing I’d fought against since hearing the news.

“And I’m here.”

“Why? Why are you here?”

“I’ve already said it, but I’ll say it again. I love you, Kyle, and when you love someone you’ll do anything and everything to help them.”

“I love you too.” Maybe it was a bad time to admit it. Dylan had only been dead a few days, but did that mean I couldn’t tell her how I really felt? That I couldn’t allow myself the one comfort I needed?

She smiled through her tears. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I mean it.” I looked deep into her brown eyes.

“I know.” She took my hand. “That’s why you let me in.”

I brushed my lips against hers gently. I couldn’t give her anymore, but somehow I knew that would be enough. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“You’re kind of stuck with me. My ride probably left.”

“Your ride? Wait, how did you get here?” In all the craziness I’d forgotten she didn’t have a car at school.

“Glen and Savy drove me up here.”

“They’re good friends.” I owed Glen an apology, but first I needed to give another. I took Jade’s hands in mine. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” She brushed her lips against my stubble covered chin. “Don’t do that now. Let’s just be here. In this moment.”

I said nothing, hoping she’d understand that my silence meant I was agreeing.

She ran her hands down my chest. “Have you eaten anything? Is there anything here I can make you?”

“You’re the guest.”

“No, I’m not here as a guest.” She spoke so seriously. I wasn’t sure if it was out of hurt, worry, or fear, or maybe a combination of all three.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Me either, but have you eaten in the last day?” Her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

“I have.” I’d forced myself to stop for lunch.

“Good.” She tried to smile, but her lips didn’t quite make it fully into the position.

“Want to go lie down?” I longed to hold her body against mine.

“That sounds perfect.”

I gripped her hand tightly in mine and led us to the bedroom. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything that night, and I knew she wasn’t either, but I needed to hold her. I needed to feel her body in my arms to know that everything would eventually be okay. I was going to make it someway, somehow.