“I saw him.”

Alana was breathless, her hand on her side as she panted, bent at the waist. She had run into the diner a moment ago, throwing her bag on the stool next to where Madeline was sitting and had started talking through gasps for air. I blinked at her from behind the counter, exchanging a look with Madeline.

“Huh?”

“I saw him, you dummy. I saw him.”

Two months had passed since Grayson had left town, and with each day was a new struggle. I had accidentally poured raspberry juice in a bowl of pancake batter last week and almost pulled out my phone to call him because they tasted so nice.

But even though I was still aching most of the time and my thoughts tended to be consumed, things weren’t as bad. The heaviness in my limbs didn’t last as long, and I didn’t have the urge to drown my thoughts with a bottle anymore. I guessed that even the scars that never left you stopped bleeding eventually.

“I saw Grayson,” Alana panted.

Then again, maybe not.

The air rushed from my lungs, and I gripped the counter top. Madeline looked between us quickly, as if we were speaking instead of just watching each other, wide-eyed.

“Where?” I finally asked. My heart hammered dangerously fast as if Grayson himself had walked through the door. “Where?”

“Downtown. At the Ritz. He was—there were a lot of press people there.”

I nodded, tugging at the ends of my hair as my mind swirled. Grayson was back. He was back in town, and he hadn’t called. Hadn’t stopped by.

My pulse danced at the thought of seeing him again.

“Go!” Alana urged, sitting on the stool by Madeline, her grin growing. “Go get up! We can watch the diner.”

I blinked, considering the offer. I steeled myself against the onslaught of desire I felt at the concept. “No,” I refused quietly. “Thanks, though.”

“Jade,” Madeline said sadly.

I shrugged it off. I had made my choice, and it was the right one, even if my gut ached in protest.

Alana opened her mouth, but Madeline dropped her hand to her arm, shaking her head slightly. Alana let out a disbelieving scoff.

“This is stupid!” she said, shaking her head rapidly. She jumped off the stool again, pacing a short space near the counter. “You’ve missed him! And I’m sure he missed you and if you just went down there—”

“Alana,” Madeline tried, but Alana wasn’t hearing it.

“No! No, Madeline. You’ve seen her, Jade’s been miserable! Grayson just up and left, and he owes Jade an explanation at least!”

“No, he doesn’t,” I could barely speak around the lump in my throat, the tightness in my chest.

“Yes, he does, don’t be a martyr,” Alana waved off my protest, turning back to Madeline. “We don’t even know what happened, but it doesn’t matter because people don’t just leave! They shouldn’t just leave!”

She was almost yelling now, her voice rising with each new sentence she spoke. Her eyes were bugging and wild, and I realized with a start that this had very little to do with Grayson and me.

Her bottom lip trembled, and she wound her arms around her waist, the same that I had done that day. She looked little, then, my cousin. I walked to her slowly, enveloping her in a hug.

“I miss him, too,” I murmured, quietly. Alana whimpered against my hair.

The year anniversary of Kyle’s death was barely a week away. I should have realized how heavy Alana’s heart was weighing.

“I don’t want anyone else to leave without saying goodbye,” she sniffled, looking up at me. “Why can’t you just go say goodbye?”

My bones temporarily turned to jello, and I cleared my throat several times to keep from crying. “It’s not the same, Alana.”

She frowned, stepping out of my embrace. “Only because you can fix this.”

I slumped. I could. I could fix it but—

“It’s my fault.”

Alana and Madeline waited. I swallowed a few times before speaking. And then, as if I had prepared and been waiting for the right moment, I told them everything. The movies that Grayson was passing up, the worries I’d felt, his tender confession that I’d steadfastly ignored. I couldn’t stop once I started, spilling story after story of our short romance to my captive audience.

When I finished, I sucked in a deep breath and groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I’m an idiot.”

Neither girl responded so, tentatively, I lowered my hands to see their reaction.

Alana was smiling. “You really kind of are.”

“You have to go,” Madeline insisted. “Like, right now.”

I bit my bottom lip, looking at Alana. She nodded. “He—he loves you, I think. You can’t let that pass. You can’t take his choice out of his hands just because you’re scared.”

I flushed, my stomach chilling as shame rushed through me. That was exactly what I had done. I should have trusted Grayson enough to know that no matter what decision he made, he was making it for himself. I should go to him. But still, I hesitated, the insecurities and worries pressed to the forefront of my mind, making me wilt a bit.

Alana shook her head, face hardening. “I know this is hard for you, Jade. Between your mom and then when Dad—” she stopped, her voice cracking as she said his name. “It’s hard to give a piece of yourself away when they might not give you anything to fill the space.”

My eyes locked with hers, looking for something. I felt as though I was searching as well.

“I can’t lose anyone else,” I admitted. Alana nodded slowly.

“I know, Jade.” She gave me a watery smile. “Go get him, so you don’t, okay?”

She hugged me again, this time much more quickly. She planted a kiss on my cheek and then pushed me firmly toward the door. Madeline whooped.

“Go get him!” she called, and I laughed, nerves tingling in my limbs as I raced out of the diner, hailing a cab.

Rain was starting to drizzle, and I promised the driver a good tip if he got me there fast. The drive barely took five minutes, but it passed by too slowly for me, my restless leg jittering up and down as I watched the dreary colored buildings pass on by.

When the driver pulled up in front of the Ritz, I took a deep breath. I paid the driver and then stood in the rain, trying to convince my screaming organs that this was an okay decision.

Eventually, I was starting to get too wet if I wanted to be let into the building, so I pretended to squash my panic and marched, determinedly, into the hotel.

There were dozens of press members filling the lobby, big cameras and reporters everywhere. I didn’t know what I expected, but a press conference wasn’t it.

Still, though—I came here for a reason, I thought resolutely. And I wasn’t one to get distracted.

I ran my hand through my hair, shaking out some of the water, and looked around until I saw Grayson.

I nearly passed out at the sight of him.

The time out west had done wonders for him. As terrible as each day had been to me, it seemed to have been twice as good to Grayson. His skin was darker now, tanned and glowing, making his bright blue eyes seem less ethereal but just as heart stopping. His hair, too, was trimmed short and his smile was as wide as it had ever been as he threw his head back, exposing the long column of his neck so that he could laugh at a joke one of the reporters had told him.

When he recovered from his laugh, his eyes scanned the room. He froze when his gaze landed on me.

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

We stared at each other across the room for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, Grayson shook his head, seeming to wake himself out of his stupor. He spoke quickly to the man he was standing next to, his eyes never leaving mine.

Then he turned on his heel and exited the lobby, going down a hallway. I followed.

He grabbed my wrist as I turned the corner, throwing me against the wall and pouncing on me, stopping himself just as he was a hair’s breadth away from my lips.

My every hair stood on end, my nerve endings exposed and raw, waiting for him to do something.

He raked his eyes down my body, catching on various angles before dragging again. I could practically feel him studying me, and I shivered from the not-quite touch.

“Tell me now,” he said, eyes boring into mine. His pupils were dilated, the dark cerulean color being consumed by the black. “Are you here for me?”

I sucked in a breath. “Yes.”

That, it seemed, was the only thing he was waiting for. He pushed against me, crashing his mouth into mine.

Nearly as soon as he’d captured my lips with a bruising intensity, Grayson bit down on my bottom lip hard, swiping his tongue over it to soothe it before pulling away.

“I have to go. Don’t you dare leave.”

Grayson turned again and left the hallway, leaving me against the wall, gasping. I raised a finger and touched my lip; it was sensitive from the nip.

Well. That went—smoothly.

My head swam. I was barely able to have a single coherent thought, let alone come to any sort of conclusion. I decided I would just do as he said and wait for him. Sinking to the floor, I scooted so I was just on the edge of the corner, still able to hear some of what was going on.

The first few interviews seemed to be going on too far away from where I was, but eventually, I could hear Grayson’s voice waft into the hallway. The sound made my stomach clench with happiness and anticipation.

“So,” a woman began, loudly. “Who was that beautiful woman we saw follow you to the bathroom earlier?”

There was a pause and then Grayson’s laughter. “No one special.”

“Oh?” The woman’s voice was sharp. “Because I have sources that say you’ve been seen with her quite a few times, on your other trips.”

I felt the color drain from my face. They were talking about me. I sat a little straighter, barely suppressing the urge to peek my head around the corner.

Grayson laughed again. “Come on, Sharon. Like I would keep anything from you. She’s just a woman who lives here. You’ve got to do something when you’re on a press tour, right?”

Sharon joined in with his laughter.

My chest tried to collapse.

I stood quickly, on shaky legs. God, how could I be so stupid? To think that I was something serious to Grayson Sparling, of all people? Sure, we’d had a nice time—but Grayson was on vacation, and no matter how much I thought it looked like he might stay behind, he didn’t; in fact, he left without even saying goodbye or trying to contact me in the three months since. What was I thinking, coming here, all desperate and pathetic? Grayson was just trying to shove me out of the way without being a complete ass about it. That’s all the kiss was. That’s all we were.

I looked around, sniffing in agony. I didn’t want to go through that room again, see all of them, see Sharon and Grayson laugh at me as I pushed my way through a crowd with a bleeding heart and a crushed ego.

I spotted an exit sign and pushed it open, slipping out quickly. The rain was heavy now, pouring down onto me. I didn’t mind. The sky was grieving with me.

The door had let out into a little alley, and I looked left, deciding that was probably the quickest route to the main road. I tried not to think about Grayson’s mouth on mine or his laughter mixing with the pain in my chest as I headed down the alley.

With my head down, I didn’t get very far before an angry screeching sound distracted me. I had barely looked up before the silver car was speeding down the alley, smashing into me, and everything faded to black.