One
“There’s been an accident.”
It’s unimaginable how one simple, ordinary word can change a person’s life forever. One simple word, when merged with other simple, ordinary words can transform the best day of your life into the worst.
“Lucy? Lucy, can you hear me?” asks my best friend, Piper. The trepidation laces her tone, but I can’t speak. I can’t verbalize that yes, I can hear her, because the moment I do, I’ll have to accept this horrible nightmare as being real.
“C’mon, Luce, please—talk to me!”
It’s funny the things you remember and the things that you don’t. But sometimes, those forgotten memories are brought back to life by a simple word, a certain smell, or sometimes, a single moment. Sadly for me, this is a memory, a moment I will never be able to forget.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was supposed to be the best day of my life. The one day that was going to change my life forever. And it has. Just not the way I anticipated.
“Honey, it’s Mom. Can you hear me? There’s been an accident, and we need to go to the hospital.” I flinch when she uses yet another word I don’t want to hear.
“Simon, I think she’s gone into shock. Can you lift her up?”
“Of course, Maggie.” A moment later. “Daddy’s got you.” The world begins spinning around me, but I don’t fight it. I want to tumble into the bleak, perilous vortex and never look back. Never look back on this day, which is the beginning of the end.
Was I too bossy? Or maybe I was ungrateful? Maybe it’s because I didn’t invite Mrs. Goldstein. Whatever the reason, I’m sorry. I take it back. Please give me a second chance. Please give him a second chance.
“Just buckling you up, sweetheart.” The term of endearment transports me back to happier times, and I begin skimming back over my twenty-six years on this planet.
I fondly recall the time when Simon and Maggie Tucker welcomed me into their home. I was five. Although they weren’t my birth parents, I never once felt like anything but their own. They showed me nothing but true kindness, and after being treated like a nobody my entire childhood, only being known as M in my foster homes, their unbending love made me realize I was the luckiest girl in the world. I felt like a somebody. And I was—I was their daughter. I was their daughter who finally had a name.
I go on to remember the time I met Piper Green in gym class. She had my back when I became the favorite target for dodge ball, and she’s had my back ever since. Piper is my sunshine and without her, my life would be clouded with darkness.
I recapture snippets, small fractions of my past, slivers that have made me, me. But in this moment, one memory comes crashing to the surface, clearer than any others because it’s my most favorite memory of all. It’s of the day I met the love of my life, Samuel Stone.
I loved him from the first moment I saw him, and I have ever since. He was the captain of the high school basketball team, while I was just me, little Lucy Tucker. But Samuel saw something in me that not many people did. Not even me. He supported my ideas of wanting to change the world, no matter how farfetched they were. I know what it’s like to be hungry, underprivileged, and unloved, and that’s why I was determined to not allow another child suffer like I did. But if it weren’t for Sam’s constant encouragement, I never would have graduated top of my class with a masters in human rights. He helped me accomplish my dreams because he was my dreams.
He supported me no matter what, and he loved me regardless of my imperfections and now, it’s my turn to do the same.
I know where we’re headed, but knowing your final destination doesn’t make what you’re about to face any easier to digest. In this circumstance, I wish I didn’t know. I wish I could wind back the clock by just a few hours because if I knew then what I know now, I would have appreciated and embraced every moment and not let go.
“You look so beautiful, honey.”
“Thanks, Mom.” The reflection staring back at me was surely not my own. My long, honey blonde hair was twisted high in an elegant knot. The hairdresser assured me it was the perfect style to support the tiara as she slipped it into my locks. The jewels felt so regal underneath my fingertips, but it all feels so insignificant now.
“You’ve got stunning green eyes, Lucy, and I’d die for these plump lips,” said the makeup artist as she applied my final coat of mascara and thin layer of peach gloss. It’s all so superficial, so unimportant. I violently scrub any trace of it off my face.
“Luce, stop it. You’re hurting yourself.” But what Piper doesn’t understand is that it’s the unseen bruising that hurts the most.
As I slipped into my tight-fitting gown, I remember the crystal beads catching the sunlight and reflecting tiny rainbows across the room. My white heels made me taller, but my small frame could never catch up to Samuel’s towering, imposing six foot four frame.
The final touch was sitting in my mother’s hands. She fingered the lace, tears pricking her hazel eyes. “I wish your grandmother was here to see this.”
“She is, Mom,” I replied, reaching out and stroking her arm.
She nodded and handed over the final piece which would make my outfit complete, which would take me one step closer to being Mrs. Samuel Stone.
The hairdresser pinned the veil in place and when that thin segment of lace became my view, I knew I was ready. Nothing could stop me now. I should have known something was askew when I didn’t see Samuel. But I walked down that aisle, never feeling more beautiful, never feeling more proud. But I waited and waited, but my time never came. Every bride’s worst nightmare had just happened. I was stood up at the altar. And when ten minutes became thirty, I knew something was horribly wrong. But I never foresaw it would have been this—anything but this.
As it was, my groom-to-be was late because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Samuel never stood a chance when a drunk driver slammed into his car head on. Oh fate, sometimes you can be so cruel. Why, on this day, and at that time? Why did you choose my Sam to suffer at the hand of your callousness?
So now, all my happy memories are plagued with new ones just formed—ones of my fiancé laying in a coma, his outcome unknown. In a blink of an eye, happiness can be snatched out from under you and all you’re left with is this—this emptiness. You really don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.
As we pull up at St. John Memorial Hospital, I try and refocus on all the pleasant memories, but I can’t. All I can focus on is that beyond those doors lies the man I was supposed to marry. Lies the man who is my reason to live.
“Lucy, please, for the love of god, say something!” Piper shakes me, begging I speak. But there are simply no words.
As she continues rocking me, I know it’s time to go.
Turning slowly, I look at my best friend, staring into her tear-stained eyes. I need to say something, anything, so I say the only thing that I can—the only thing that’ll elucidate how I feel inside.
With a single tear tracing a path down my cheek, I profess, “I think I’m going to be sick.”
* * * * *
April 8th 2011
Dear diary,
Today has been the best day of my life. Well, one of the best. Samuel and I finally did it— we moved in together! After eight years of dating, Sam has finally made an honest woman out of me!
Our dream home in Montana is everything I could ever wish for. I still can’t believe I’m sitting in my bedroom, in my new home, writing this. Our property is absolutely amazing, and I can’t wait to venture out on our twenty acres, hand in hand. Or better yet, ride our horses into the sunset. So corny, but true!
Our ranch, Whispering Willows, has incredible views of the Tobacco Root Mountains, and I look forward to sipping iced tea while enjoying the tranquility from our decks and stone patios, which are surrounded by our beautifully manicured landscapes.
Cottonwood trees, quiet groves of quaking aspen, and gorgeous willow clusters give us the privacy we need to venture around undisturbed. Mom and Dad are about thirty minutes away, and so are Kellie and Gregory. It’s perfect. It’s my dream come true.
Every day I wake, grateful for what I have and who I’ve become. I don’t like to separate my life into two parts because bouncing around from foster home to foster home in L.A. is a distant memory, but it’s one I’ll never forget. It made me into the person I am today. It showed me where I belong, and to whom I belong.
I know we’re going to be happy here. I can feel it in my bones. This is the start of our new life together and I couldn’t be happier.
I knew Samuel was ‘the one’ and as naïve as that makes me, I do believe in true love and our happily ever after. He is my soul mate, and there is no one for me but him. He’s ingrained into my very existence, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Not that I ever have to worry about that.
I know Sam feels the same way because I saw something which cements our future. I didn’t mean to snoop, but the gleam from his grandmother’s engagement ring caught my eye. The ring was sitting innocently in a box he had half unpacked. I debated with myself for all of three seconds before I quietly, like a thief in the night, slipped my hand inside and pulled out the most stunning ring in the world.
I felt beyond wicked, as I’ve never been a rule breaker, but the moment I felt the smooth, one carat diamond and imperial white gold band pass under my fingertip, I was completely converted to a life of crime.
I didn’t dare put it on, but then my newfound rebellion kicked in. I snuck a quick peek at the door before slipping it on my finger. I couldn’t stop the tears—it was perfect. But just as quickly as I found the ring, I swiftly placed it back, not wanting Sam to catch me red-handed.
We’ve spoken about marriage and kids in passing, but Sam wants to focus on the family business, Stone and Sons, helping his dad on the wheat and barley farm. We’re still young—we’ve got our entire lives ahead of us. But as I think of that beautiful ring and how it looked on my finger, I realize I want that future to come sooner rather than later.
I want nothing more than to be become Mrs. Samuel Stone. But all good things come to those who wait, so I’ll sit tight, but not so patiently. Patience has never been my strong suit, but I’ll wait forever and a day for Sam.
So here’s to our new life together…I can’t wait to see what comes next.