CAYDEN’S HANDS WERE huge compared to Lillian’s. As they sat there in the quiet of the middle of the night, she looked down at how her hands seemed to disappear when he held them. The way the shadows rippled across his skin made him look even stronger than he already was, including his hands. She never realized people could have hand muscles. Cayden was certainly teaching her a lot.

She sighed, timidly looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He was staring into the distance, some small, mysterious smile lingering on his lips. It made the corners of her mouth turn up as well.

“Hey.” She lightly tapped his shoulder. He looked down at her. “What’s that smile for?”

He blinked, like he was trying to understand what she was talking about. The grin got bigger. “Oh, this thing?” He pointed at his mouth. “This means I’m thinking of you.”

Lillian blushed.

Cayden leaned down and whispered, “Is it real?”

“Yes,” she whispered back.

“We’re not broken anymore? You and me, we’re together, right?”

“No, we’re not.” She felt slightly embarrassed about it. “I mean, we’re not broken. We’re together.” All that trouble of breaking up with him, the silly arguments, the energy she’d spent trying to get rid of her true feelings towards him. When she realized getting rid of her feelings was impossible, she tried to conceal them. That was equally impossible for them both.

I guess fate can’t be reckoned with, she thought.

“If we weren’t in a hospital right now,” Cayden murmured, his breath tickling her ear, “I would get up and dance.”

“Would you now.”

“I would.” He looked serious about it.

“What kind of dance would you do?” Lillian threw the question at him, trying not to giggle.

“Some sort of jig, definitely,” he replied, without skipping a beat.

Her eyes widened. “Wow, you certainly have given it some serious thought.”

“What do you think I’ve been envisioning, staring into the distance over here?” He winked, moving his arm to wrap around her shoulders. The hospital room was freezing; she hadn’t realized how cold she was until the warmth of his body began to thaw her out.

The clock ticked. She felt herself nodding off and didn’t fight it. The past couple of days she had barely slept, staying in this room twenty-four hours a day to make sure Andrew was fine. He looked so much better already. Lying here in the faint light in this hospital bed surrounded by machines ensuring he was stable, he looked so much like his sister, Amelia.

Lillian felt her lips form the shape of her best friend’s name. Amelia’s face appeared in her mind, smiling and laughing like she always was unless she was sharing some existential truth with someone. Only a couple of years ago, Amelia had been lying in a bed in this very same hospital. If she had been allowed in the ICU, Lillian could have walked directly to the room Amelia had been in for a day before she let go.

Her eyes grew wet, but no tears fell. She straightened her back and leaned her head on Cayden’s chest. His arm hugged her tighter, helping ease some of her emotional discomfort. Andrew’s okay, she told herself, looking at his sleeping face. He’s still here after a couple of days. The doctors said he’s going to be fine. His wreck wasn’t nearly as bad as Amelia’s.

All of a sudden, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Shifting her weight to the side, she pulled it out of her sweatshirt. Frances Waters. Andrew’s mom.

“Hi, Frances—Mom,” she croaked. “Are you two sleeping okay down there?”

“These chairs are terrible,” Frances complained, sounding just as tired as Lillian felt. “How is he?”

“Nothing has happened. He’s fine. Still asleep.”

Frances hummed. “Good. The doctor came and found us down here; I guess he didn’t know you were in there tonight.”

“What did he say?”

“He said they’re really pleased with how strong Andrew is. I don’t remember everything. All good things.”

“Great.” Lillian breathed a sigh of relief.

“You were out of the room earlier when they came in to check his sutures,” Frances continued, sounding like she was half-asleep already. “They’re going to take him back in around six. He’s got something leaking and they want to clean it up and make sure everything looks okay inside. Said it was normal. However, I might be getting all the details wrong.”

“It’s okay. It’s not a big procedure, is it?”

“No. It’s nothing serious, the way the doctor made it sound. It shouldn’t take very long, either.”

“Okay.” She rubbed her eyes. “Are you going to try to get some more sleep now?”

“Actually, we’re going home to rest for a few hours. I’ve given the doctor your phone number. I told him you won’t be far away.”

“That’s fine. Yeah, I’m going to try to get some more sleep.” She looked at Cayden. The bags under his eyes were getting darker and darker.

“Is Cayden okay?”

“He’s good.” She held the phone up to his mouth.

“Hi, Mom?” he said. “I love you.”

Lillian lightly pushed him. “He’s getting weird. Lack of sleep is getting to him.”

“It must be getting to you, too. Promise me you’ll get some rest.”

“I will.”

“And you won’t come home with us to rest?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll just stay here. I’d rather one of us is here in case he wakes up.”

“Thanks, sweetie. But you do need to go home and rest eventually. You can’t wait at the hospital forever. Every time I ask you say no, but I thought it was worth a try.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just sleepy.”

“I’ll take care of her, Frances,” Cayden called into the phone.

“Good,” Frances said. “Okay, we’d better get going before we faint. See you tomorrow.”

“Take an easy morning, okay? I’ll call you if we need you.”

“Okay. Talk to you when we wake up.”

“Sleep well.” Lillian waited until Frances ended the call before putting down the phone. She turned to Cayden. “She sounded terrible.”

“You also sound terrible.”

“I think Andrew’s mom likes you.” She knew they wanted her to call them ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. It just hadn’t always stuck.

“That’s a relief, because I like her. Andrew’s dad, too.” Cayden cracked his knuckles and stood up to stretch. “Hey, I have a wacky idea.”

“Uh-oh.”

“So, I’ve been doing some searching on my phone,” he started, holding his cell phone in front of her face, “and, as it turns out, there’s a hotel just down the road.”

“Are you going?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “You should go.”

“You should come with me.”

Lillian pointed at Andrew. “I need to stay with him.”

“What, to watch him sleep?”

She scowled.

“Come on,” he pleaded, taking her into his arms. “Come snuggle with me. You need a good rest and a hot shower. No offense.”

“Stop tempting me.”

“There’s a free breakfast...”

Slowly, she turned and stared at Andrew. His chest rose and fell steadily. “I don’t know.”

“Please?” He made a pouty face. “Just tell him we’re going to rest so we can be more present for him when he wakes up.”

“Do you think he can hear me?” she asked quietly, feeling like a child.

He nodded. “I’m absolutely sure he can hear you.”

Lillian sighed, unable to keep the visions of a hot bath and a warm bed out of her mind. She could almost feel the steam from a hot shower tickling her skin. Pulling away from Cayden, she sat on the side of Andrew’s bed. “Hey, Andrew,” she whispered, pulling the sheets up to his neck. “Cayden’s trying to get me to leave you.”

“No, I’m not,” he contradicted. “I’m trying to take care of her.”

“It’s working,” she told Andrew. “He’s very convincing.”

“I’m going to give her a shower and a good sleep, and an awesome free continental breakfast. You would approve, Andrew.”

“I think I’m going to do it,” Lillian whispered.

“Come on, let’s go.”

She looked at the clock. It was just after three in the morning. “Will they let us in this late?”

“I may or may not have booked a room online earlier.”

“Of course, you would have.” It was too late to protest. He knew exactly what he was doing—her energy was beyond depleted.

“We’ll come back in the morning,” he promised. “Come on. It will only be a few hours.”

“What do you think?” she asked Andrew, and leaned down to put her ear next to his mouth. “Yeah?”

“What’s he saying?” Cayden asked.

She looked at Cayden. “I think he said to screw it and go take a shower. You’re right—I stink.”

“I mean, you don’t stink, per se. It’s more like a musty, days’-old smell.” His face twisted. “I don’t mean that badly.”

“Let’s just leave already. My brain has never felt more like mush.” With a grunt, she stood up and weakly pulled her bag over her shoulder. “Frances said she gave the doctor my number as the primary contact.”

“How come?”

“Probably because she’s not very technical. She opens a flip phone with two hands. Bless her.”

“See ya, Drew,” Cayden called back to the sleeping body in the hospital bed.

“He hates it when people call him Drew—just an FYI.” Lillian blew a kiss back at him and they closed the door as they walked out. “Some dumb kids in school called him Drew when they were teasing him, and it made a really negative imprint on his mind.”

“If he hates it enough, he’ll wake up and tell me to shut the heck up.”

“Is it too cold in there? It feels so much warmer out here.”

“You know why, right?” Cayden winked.

“No,” Lillian grunted.

“Because you’re out here.”

Oh, boy. “That is such a middle-school-level joke.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“Thanks, I guess.” She felt her body sag more and more with each step.

“Someone’s cranky.”

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m cranky, Cayden. I’ve barely slept in two days. I haven’t left the room except to go get food from the cafeteria and to pick you up at the airport. I haven’t even had a shower.”

“You could have gone to Andrew’s parents’ house, you know. No one is tying you to this room.”

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. He had a point, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it he was right. “I know,” she muttered in a low voice, her eyes glued to the floor.

She knew he sensed her mood shifting. His body grew softer as he pulled her close when the cold night air bit their skin. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s literally almost morning. The hotel breakfast will be set up in a couple of hours. Think of it—a glorious continental breakfast. All the cereal and orange juice and waffles you could dream of.”

“I think you’re the most excited about it,” she said.

“Probably.” He nodded. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for free breakfast.”

“Remember when you brought me pancakes that morning?” A little smile touched her lips. It seemed like forever ago.

“Before we really knew each other, right?”

“Yeah. You brought me a little flower from your garden, too. I think.”

Cayden opened the car door for Lillian and crossed over to the driver’s side. “Lil, you’ve always held me captive.”

“What?”

“You’re magical. You’re enchanting. I can’t explain it. I’m talking a lot because I’m freakin’ tired and it’s cold. My body got used to Los Angeles’ mild weather.”

“There’s nothing magical about me, Cayden.”

“Yeah, there is, Lil.” The way he said it wasn’t argumentative. It was blunt but gentle at the same time, like he was stating a fact about something he was an expert on. “I was going to be lost there for a little while, without you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I thought I was going to have to give you the talk.”

“What talk?” She wasn’t sure if it was her tired mind losing things in translation or if he really wasn’t making sense in his delirious state.

“The talk. You know, where I tell you the tough truth. You can keep breaking up with me, but there’s no way I could break up with you. It’s impossible.”

“Cayden...” she trailed off, unsure of where she was going with her reply.

“You’ll see it soon,” he interjected. “You’ll see how incredible you are.”

The drive to the hotel took less than ten minutes. They didn’t talk until they were safely in the room. It was a basic room with a king-size bed, but it couldn’t have been more appealing if it were the penthouse.

“Don’t let me sit on the bed,” Lillian commanded, shielding her eyes from the soft blankets and cushy pillows. “Don’t even let me touch it. I won’t get up.”

“Maybe you should crash.”

“I’m going to shower first. Apparently, I need it.” She stuck her tongue out at him and bee-lined for the bathroom, stripping her clothes off and throwing them on the floor in a messy trail. When the door shut, she heard him pick them up and start the hot water kettle.

What’s he doing? She started the water and pulled herself into the shower, almost melting in the warmth. An angel chorus sounded in her head as she scrubbed her body with a pouf provided by the hotel. The shampoo, which was entirely normal, smelled like heaven; she could feel the germs and stagnant air of the hospital being washed off her skin and down the drain with the soapsuds.

In reality, she was only in the shower long enough to wash her body and hair with as much care as she could muster in her worn-out shape, but it felt like long enough for her to feel her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Finally, she turned the water off, upset that she wasn’t more awake to stay in longer.

When she opened the door, a huge mass of steam rushed into the room. “Whoa!” Cayden exclaimed. “Have a good time in there?”

“I can’t feel my body.” The words felt slurred.

“I have some tea for you.” He poured hot water from the kettle into a paper cup. “It’s just the tea bags that were already here, but I thought it might be nice to warm you up before sleeping.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, taking the cup and gingerly sitting on the bed. “Are you going to shower?”

“A quick rinse.” He nodded at the chair in the corner. “Your clothes are there.”

“Sorry I threw them everywhere.”

“Don’t apologize. It was hot.” He winked. Lillian felt her cheeks getting hot, but luckily Cayden disappeared into the bathroom. The room was quiet except for the sound of running water. She looked around. The typical mini fridge was there in the wall unit. The television was flat screen, far from the current model but not outdated.

Nice place, she thought, taking a sip and looking back at her clothes on the chair. Cayden had taken care to fold them like the clothing stores did, stacking them neatly on top of each other. He had put her bag on the little table by the door, and his backpack on the floor.

Why would he do this? She couldn’t fathom why he would take time off and join her here to watch after Andrew. He had no obligation to be there. Andrew was closer to being family to her than to him; in fact, he and Andrew hadn’t gotten along well at all when they met.

“You’ll see it soon,” she heard Cayden’s voice from earlier in the car. “You’ll see how amazing you are.”

Swallowing the last drops of her tea, she set the cup on the wall unit and rubbed the towel through her hair again. It was mostly dry; she was far too tired to blow-dry it. If she woke up with a stuffy nose, so be it.

The instant her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light. It was one of those brief periods of time when sleep is so deep that one-minute feels just as good as an hour. When Cayden climbed into bed and turned off the lamp, she was jolted awake.

“It’s okay,” he cooed, stroking her hair with his hand. She turned onto her side to look at him lying there. His hair was still a tiny bit damp, too, but the warmth radiating from his body felt incredible.

“Why are you here?” she murmured.

Cayden looked at her calmly. She wished that, in the faintness of the room’s automatic night light, she could see the blue of his eyes. All she could see were his silhouette and the shape of his eyes.

Keeping his hand on her hair, he scooted his body closer to her and put his lips on her forehead. She let out a happy little noise, surprising herself, and she could feel him smiling. He lowered his lips to her nose, her cheekbone, and finally her mouth. The kisses were so light, as if she was made of glass and he feared he might break her. She felt a tremor come over her body, rippling from her core down to the tips of her fingers and toes.

Then she put her hand on his head, pulling him closer. She had only slept for ten minutes, and he accommodated her frailty. His body practically wrapped around hers, and as soon as she put her leg over his, she felt that he had not put his boxers back on after the shower. His skin was so incredibly soft; she ran her hands down the whole length of his leg, as far as she could reach from this angle. His thighs were lined with ridges from the muscles that dwelled under her touch. Chill bumps raised on his flesh, following her fingers in a trail. She liked the reaction.

He shifted his body, scooting down a little so he could kiss along her chin and jaw line. The closer his lips got to her ears and neck, the more aware she became of goose bumps and tiny hairs rising on her own skin. He was there in no time; the tip of his tongue teasing the bottom of her earlobe, gently pulling it with his teeth until she couldn’t take it anymore. Nibbling his way down to the base of her neck, his warm breath touched her skin so lightly it aroused her in ways she had never experienced. A soft groan danced out of her throat.

He pulled her hips closer, returning his kisses to her mouth and touching her inner thigh. At the feel of his hand on the tender skin, her heart leapt. In wordless agreement, she gently tugged on his shoulder and he rolled on top of her. They kissed again; she felt that wonderful, safe feeling of being enveloped by his strong body as he slid inside her effortlessly. His pulse matched her own, and she felt every inch of her body tense and relax as if she were getting a massage. Her mind began to float away, until it was lost in the wavelike undulations of their bodies.

Their skin tightened, and arms curled around each other in ecstasy. They had become one shape so many times before, but nothing like this. All the pent-up longing for each other they had held inside, waiting for this moment, was finally released. The weight of all they had been through was released, and the desire hot in their souls made its way through every vein in their bodies.

“You’re amazing.” Lillian felt his every breath on the back of her neck as he held her from behind, both lying there limply. She wasn’t sure if it was really his voice or if it was simply his exhale as she remembered his words from the car.

Without saying anything, she smiled and held his arm tight against her chest. They tumbled into a blissful, exhausted slumber.

***

WHEN SHE OPENED HER eyes, she saw Cayden’s face beside hers.

He looked at her, eyelids heavy with sleep. “There are those blue eyes,” she heard herself say, and felt her lips pull upward.

“Breakfast ends in half an hour,” he said, his voice as rough as gravel.

“You’re really excited about it, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “I told you, I’m a sucker for a good continental hotel breakfast.”

“What time is it?” She felt infinitely better, but still like she could pass out for another ten hours easily.

“About eight-thirty. I just checked.”

“Has my phone rung?”

“I haven’t heard anything.”

She sighed and draped an arm over Cayden’s chest. He scratched her back and tried to tickle her ribs. Squealing, she curled up into a ball and did her best to shove him away, but he wasn’t going easy on her.

“Stop, stop!” she begged, and he did. She propped herself up on her elbow and beamed at him. It didn’t even cross her mind to be ashamed or embarrassed that they were both stark naked. His chiseled chest and abdomen were a perfect sight for first thing after waking up.

“Come on, let’s get ready. I want to make it down before all the waffles are gone.” He suddenly raised himself up to plant a kiss right on her mouth; she let out a surprised little shriek, falling back onto the bed. Cayden walked over to the chair and slowly pulled his boxers on, knowing full well her eyes were attached to his backside.

She whistled. “Good morning to you, too!”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you this chipper in...” He scratched his chin. “I can’t remember the last time.”

“Oh, shut up.” She grabbed a sock that had somehow ended up on the headboard last night, and flung it at him.

He ducked and grabbed her T-shirt from the chair. “Have mercy!”

Compared to his chest, her shirt was tiny. The sight made her laugh, and despite his asking twice what was so funny she could only make herself point at him. He didn’t understand and gave up.

Still tired, she peeled her body off the bed and snatched the shirt from him. “I don’t get a show?” He fake-pouted.

“Not this morning,” she winked. “Wait till later.”

As she pulled her arms through the sleeves, Cayden took her hands and placed them firmly on his chest. Before she could say anything, he kissed her and walked her backwards, so he could pin her on the bed. Chills ran over her body; her tongue was ready to meet with his again, but instead he went to her neck.

She gasped. “Don’t leave a mark!”

“Why?” he asked, voice muffled between kisses.

“I’m scared of people seeing!”

“Let them see,” he said, and she felt his teeth graze the tender skin as he pulled a bit into his mouth. He didn’t stay there long; moving her shirt out of the way, he kissed her chest and down the middle of her stomach.

Lillian fought for air. Breathing became a more and more laborious task the lower he went, and when he reached the fragile parts she couldn’t control herself. The tension rose in her body and she felt herself stiffen, clawing handfuls of his hair. He felt her body respond and, just like last night, he liked it.

Reaching a hand up, he held her waist with gentle hands and stroked her skin with his thumb. It was too much to bear; the tension exploded and her back arched from the overload of pleasure.

Satisfied, Cayden kissed her chest once and left her on the bed to recover as he continued getting ready. Lillian almost fell asleep again, and she would have stayed asleep if he hadn’t woken her up.

“We’re going to miss it,” he said softly, tapping her on the leg. “You okay?”

“More than okay,” she grunted, feeling high as a kite. “Help me up.” Cayden, laughing a little, pulled her to her feet and waited by the door while she pulled on her pants and jacket. “Do I look okay?”

“It’s just breakfast,” he pointed out.

“I know. But do I look okay?”

“Honestly, you look like you’ve just had a very sexually-fulfilling night.”

She wrinkled her nose, taking that as a yes, and followed him out the door. Right when it closed, she felt her back pocket.

“Wait a second,” she said, “I forgot my phone.”

He unlocked the door again and she ran inside, shoving the phone into her pocket. “I might miss a call,” she explained as they walked hand in hand down to the breakfast area.

“You haven’t gotten one today, have you?”

She looked at the screen. “Nope. Not even a text. I’m so popular.”

“Consider yourself lucky.” He held up his phone and scrolled through all the notifications on his lock screen. “I haven’t dared to unlock my phone this morning.”

“That’s a lot to handle,” Lillian frowned. “Are you always that busy?”

“Most of these are from the part-time clients I took to pass the time. Some of them are Janine’s friends, and a couple are Katharina’s friends. I’m trying to...” he trailed off.

Lillian waited for him to finish, but he didn’t. “Trying to what?”

He looked back at her. “I’m trying to handle them all as best I can. I just want to leave and come back home, you know? I don’t want things to be so complicated or have a jam-packed schedule all the time.”

“Isn’t it nice to have so many people wanting to work with you?”

He sighed. “In theory, yes. But I would rather be at home with you, working my simple job at Peter’s Gym and throwing kick-ass parties on the weekends.” Winking at her, he added, “Keeping the music down, of course, so as not to disturb the neighbors.”

The smell of breakfast caught their attention at the same time as they walked into the restaurant area. There was only one person in there, an older man who had scraps of sausage on his plate. He was reading a newspaper and sipping his black coffee, oblivious to Cayden and Lillian.

“Well, this is exciting,” she commented under her breath.

Chuckling, Cayden handed her a plate and they rounded up the last bits of whatever was available. Lillian sat down with her plate and orange juice, and suddenly realized she’d forgotten the most important thing.

Cayden brought it to her before she could get up: a mug of steaming coffee with a heavy dose of milk and a touch of cream. The stars in Lillian’s eyes glowed when she saw the mug, and immediately she wrapped both hands around it, pulling it close. She looked at Cayden sitting across from her and pretended like she was crying. “Thank you so much.”

“I know what you like,” he said, tearing into a waffle.

Lillian bit her lip. “I’m going to ignore that innuendo.”

“Good Lord, I walk into it every time.” He lost focus on her and devoured the plate of waffles and bacon in less than five minutes. Lillian obviously knew how big an appetite he had, but how he could pack down so much food in so short a period of time was still a mystery to her. What she had selected—some cereal, yogurt, and a piece of toast with peanut butter—looked so tiny and lame compared to the three plates on his side.

At least he’s got a plate of fruit, she thought, happily sitting back with her coffee. Her phone vibrated on the table, and she snatched it up in half a second. It was an unfamiliar number, and she knew exactly who it was.

Please, no. “Hello?”

Hearing her tone, Cayden looked up, his mouth full of grapes.

“Is this Lillian Warren?” came a female voice.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Miss Warren, this is Angela from St. Therese Medical Center. We are calling since your number is listed as the primary contact for Mr. Andrew Waters.”

“Is everything all right?” She felt that awful emptiness in the pit of her stomach.

“Miss Warren, there has been an incident with Mr. Waters during his routine procedure scheduled for this morning. The doctors have requested that you come to the hospital as soon as possible.”

The world went dark.

“Miss Warren?”

“I’m coming,” she replied, but her voice was hoarse. She hung up and looked at Cayden, her eyes full of tears. “We have to go. Now.”