The feel of her on his fingers proved exhilarating, but it couldn’t compare to her intoxicating taste. A man parched, Derrick lapped at her, savoring her womanly cream and humming with pure male satisfaction at how she clenched and pushed against him, her body craving more of his touch.

He couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to. Too long he’d craved her. Too long he’d denied the unmistakable truth.

Janine is mine. And for this moment at least, he couldn’t find the strength to push her away. I’m tired of fighting what I want. Time for a little selfishness. He lapped at her sweet button, feeling it swell at his flicks. He pumped his fingers in and out of the moistness of her sex, loving how she gripped him tight.

Her excitement built, reaching a crescendo, and he felt just as coiled as her, poised on the edge. He pistoned his fingers in her as his lips pinched her swollen button. A low cry began to keen from her lips. She smashed a pillow over her face as her body arched off the bed. Even with her last-minute muffler, he could hear her deep groans, but better than hearing the enjoyment, he felt it. Felt just how hard she came on his fingers, crushing him tight. Tasted the spice of her orgasm, an explosion of flavor that brought shudders to his frame.

Fuck me. I think I kind of came. An unexpected side effect, which, while not like the euphoria of actual fucking, left him feeling more sated than before.

Easing carefully around her splayed limbs, he inched upwards on the bed, careful with where he placed his hands to draw himself in line with her.

She didn’t move. Her eyes remained shut, her lips slightly parted as she fought to recapture her breath. A greedy gaze, his of course, traced the lines of her skin still flushed with passion. Before her flesh could pimple with a chill, he drew the sheets they’d pushed aside over them both. He drew her in to him, relishing the skin-to-skin feel. He might not know what tomorrow would bring, but right here, right now, he wanted to pretend.

I want to make believe that everything is all right.

“How was it?” she asked with the most uncertainty he’d ever heard from her.

It surprised him she had to ask. He hugged her close and kissed the top of her head. “More amazing than I could have imagined.” Especially since, even though he’d not given her a mating bite, a connection existed between them. He could feel it like a slender thread joining them together.

“I really should go back to my bed before my parents get up.”

At her words, his arms tightened around her. “Stay for just a few minutes. Let me hold you.” Fuck pride. He begged for just a little while longer. If he had his way, he’d hold her forever.

Of course her dad had lots to say about their snuggle fest. Then again, what father would appreciate finding his naked daughter wrapped around a man under his roof?

“What the hell is going on here, June-bug?” The low voice of a father trying hard to control an explosive rage.

Someone dares sneak up on us! His wolf bristled, but Derrick kept it caged. Although he could understand the indignity of being startled. He blamed the first dreamless sleep since his injury for missing Orson’s entry into the room. He quickly sat up and kept a wary eye on the bristling bear.

“Morning, sir.” Best to fall back on respectful military ways, given how Orson caught him.

Having also awoken, Janine tried a feeble, “It’s not what it looks like.”

A brow arched into the stratosphere. “You are, from what I can tell, quite undressed, under the covers, snuggling your patient. I’d say there’s only one thing to think.”

Orson kindly didn’t mention the fact that what they’d done probably perfumed the air. Sex, especially the oral kind, required a shower and a toothbrush to cleanse away the scent. And poor Janine, with hair tousled and gorgeous where it tumbled over her shoulders, was sporting a look no father ever wanted to see. It probably explained the low, rumbling growl.

A deep blush stained her cheeks as Janine still tried to salvage the embarrassing situation. “Derrick was having a nightmare, and I calmed him.”

“Do you always calm your patients naked in bed?” rumbled her dad. “You crossed a line, June-bug. A big one, and under my roof! What were you thinking?”

At the harsh rebuke, she wilted. Inside, his wolf paced, but that wasn’t what made Derrick bristle. “Don’t speak to her like that.” He would tolerate no disrespect to his woman. Not even from her father.

“I’ll speak to my daughter any which way I like, soldier. Just like I will handle this matter in a way I choose, given this is my home. A home, I might remind, you were invited into, but nowhere in that invitation did I grant you permission to seduce my daughter.”

“First off, you don’t get to decide who seduces me. And second…” Her chin tilted. “He didn’t seduce me. I was the one who made the first move.” Janine took blame for what had happened, and while his male side might have usually complained, in this case, his ego inflated instead.

Because I was the man.

“It doesn’t matter who started it or not. The fact is it shouldn’t have happened.”

“I’d say the concern about what occurred is between me and Janine.” It would only ever be him and Janine. A rare optimism gave him the courage to wonder if they could find a way to make things work. Forget could. He would make it work. He’d make it his new mission in life. Other people went on after grave tragedies and ailments. They did it, and by damn, so could he. But there was an obstacle in his way, and it wasn’t one he could kill.

With his brows beetled, Orson glared. “You will keep your hands off her. Or else. And for the love of God, put something on, June-bug.” Orson removed his robe and tossed it at Janine, his T-shirt and plaid bottoms keeping him respectable.

“Threatening a man in a wheelchair?” Derrick couldn’t help but sneer. A male challenged either bared his belly or challenged back.

“I don’t care if you’re in a full-body cast. You are not ready yet to commit yourself, and I am not convinced you ever will be. Janine has already suffered from losing one man who couldn’t conquer his demons. I won’t have you or anyone else hurting my daughter.”

“I would never hurt her.”

“Won’t you? You don’t just have the mental problems to deal with. I know about the shard in your back. The one the doctor says has to come out. Have you told her just how bad it is? Did you let her know that if the wolf does manage to take over, whether on accident or purpose, that piece of metal in your back has a good chance of killing you?”

Derrick’s lips tightened, and he could have howled when he saw the pain in Janine’s eyes. “There’s an operation I can have.” An operation he’d been denying, but he didn’t mention that.

“I know all about the shard and the operation,” Janine said, interrupting their staring game. “How could I have forgotten?” The last she said in a whisper, as if to herself. Features ashen, she turned her back to him before letting the sheet fall so she could thread her arms in the robe.

“Don’t leave yet. We need to talk.” Panic fluttered in his chest as he realized she would leave.

Orson snorted. “Now he wants to talk? Talk about the fact you’ve got no future prospect, not with that bomb in your back. I’d say you should have thought about the fact you could die and break her heart before you took advantage of her,” snapped Orson.

At that rebuke, Janine’s head snapped up. “Don’t get mad at him. I knew full well what I was doing.” She pulled the belt of the robe tight. “And I know what I have to do. Get ready. We’ll leave within the next hour.” She tossed that instruction at Derrick.

“You’re not leaving with him.” Orson crossed his arms and shook his head.

“I am. He needs me to take him back the rehab center.”

“I’ll get someone else to do it.”

She leaned up on tiptoe and kissed Orson’s cheek. “I’ll be fine. You’re overreacting. Derrick has never hurt me, and despite what you think, he never would. He’s a good man.”

Words that warmed Derrick’s heart, even as part of it quivered in cold, as she wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Harrumph,” was the councilor’s reply as his daughter slipped past. Orson turned to watch her leave and didn’t face Derrick again until they heard her steps reach the top of the stairs.

“She’s my mate,” Derrick said in the silence that stretched.

A piercing gaze met his. “Maybe, but June-bug deserves better than a man who still hasn’t made up his mind whether he’s going to live or die.”

“I intend to live.” Live because the world didn’t seem so bleak anymore, but judging by Janine’s lack of smile, she didn’t quite agree.

The drive back to the rehab center was spent in stilted silence. Him brooding because of everything that had happened—including the realization it was time to get the surgery the doctor ordered—her because she probably regretted what happened.

No she didn’t.

The certainty came from within. How odd. While determined to try and be the man she needed, a part of him remained convinced he couldn’t give her the life she deserved.

Yeah we can.

Again with the contradiction. Hey, you furball, stop arguing with me. Except it wasn’t his wolf causing a ruckus. She likes me. He could lie to himself all he wanted, such as the lie that he couldn’t offer her the pleasure she deserved. He proved that wrong last night.

I proved I could satisfy. I made her come so hard there were tears in her eyes. Don’t forget she clung to me all night. Hugged him tight to her body, and he enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact. Enjoyed having her close.

Wouldn’t she love to hear him admit she’d been right? Perhaps he didn’t sink a cock into her, but he touched and tasted her in intimate ways that proved very arousing. No creamy spurts and yet I came. Phantom cum, with no cleanup.

How he wanted to enjoy that delight again. If only she were talking to him, but then again, he wasn’t talking to her. Because he was a stubborn ass who, despite his bravado, now found himself letting her stepdad’s words send him fleeing yellow-belly style.

Is this how I want to live out my life? Tail tucked like a coward? He hadn’t survived the war to get taken down by pride. “I’m sorry we got caught by your father.”

“No you’re not. You’re not really bothered by it at all.”

He shrugged. “It was embarrassing, but not the end of the world.”

“How about the end of my career?” She banged the steering wheel. “I completely smashed all my professional boundaries last night. I let myself get too close to you.”

The bitter him would have said something caustic such as “You deserve better than me.” Instead, he said, “Of course you got close to me. You’re my mate. Mine. It’s only natural you feel drawn and unable to help yourself.”

“Arrogant much?”

“It’s not arrogance to state the truth. You and I are meant to be.” The more he claimed that belief, the more certain it felt. The more he believed it.

“What happened to that speech about me deserving better?”

A chuckle rolled from his lips. “Oh, you probably deserve better. I won’t argue that point, but it seems you’re stuck with me.”

“You seem to assume I want to be stuck with you.”

“You do.” How easily the old cocky confidence returned when he gave it a chance.

“Declaring it doesn’t make it real.”

“Arguing about it won’t change it either,” Derrick stated. “Trust me, I know. I’ve been fighting it since I met you. But do you know what I’m finally realizing? A man can only fight so many battles. In some, he needs to concede or come to grips. Where you’re concerned, I’m done fighting the one thing that makes me happy these days.”

“I can’t be the only thing that makes you happy. That’s too much expectation and pressure to put on anyone.”

“If you’d let me finish, I would add that your constant reminders that life is still worth exploring have made me see some things in a more positive light.”

“Such as? Because last I heard, everything sucked. Your words, not mine.”

“I’m not going to lie. A lot of things still do, but there are some things that don’t. Like food, for instance. Just because the rehab center food is bland, it doesn’t mean I can’t drool again. I mean, those chicken wings the other night were fucking awesome.”

“So you’re going to create your own happiness by eating good food? Sounds like a recipe for heart disease.”

“This isn’t just about food. It’s only one example of things I’ve realized still give me pleasure. There’s also the fact that just because I can’t run doesn’t mean I can’t play basketball. Turns out I’m a great shot even sitting down. And I can still lift weights. I can actually do tons of shit.” Even make love to a woman. “You taught me that I was more capable than I thought.”

“So you’re grateful to me. That’s understandable, as is a desire on your part to thank me.”

“I think I thanked you rather well.” He couldn’t help the low drawl.

A pink hue highlighted her cheeks. “Please don’t talk about last night. It shouldn’t have happened. I take full blame for seducing you.”

A smirk tugged at his lips. “Taking blame for a seduction that was inevitable? Sorry, Red, but one way or another, what happened last night was fated. We are meant to be together.”

Her head shook. “You are not ready for that kind of commitment.”

“Actually, I am. I’m even ready to give you half my closet. When I get one. I don’t suppose before you quit being my doc you could give me a clearance report saying I’m fit to leave the rehab center?”

She shot him a look. “You actually think you’re ready to go?”

“Damned straight I do.”

He could almost see the devious gears in her mind whirring before she said, “If you’re ready, then you won’t mind a little test.”

“Bring it. I’ll show you I can handle anything you throw at me.”

Arrogant words he could have swallowed later when he finally faced her test. He should note he didn’t have the slightest clue what she planned when she dropped him off at the rehab center, claiming she’d see him later, and she meant later as in the next day right after lunch.

The fact he’d not seen her at all since their return meant he snapped more than his fair share, but good news, that night, when the nightmares hit and threatened her, he knew enough to snap himself awake, with the reminder it wasn’t real. Alone in his bed, untied he might add, he took control of his slumber for the first time in a long while.

He could do this. He had to stop letting his demons win. He would prove not only to himself, but also to Janine, that she could trust him. He, not the wolf, controlled the man. However, it was the man who chafed before this discovery when she refused to see him that night, their brief phone call going along the lines of, “I want to see you.”

“We can’t. Not here.”

“Then where and when?” Surely she burned with the same impatience.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t make me come over there.” Derrick knew exactly which window belonged to her. He stared at it, the vertical blinds only hinting at light, wondering, if she peeked out, whether she would see him perched under the shadowy boughs of a tree.

A heavy sigh came through the receiver, the phone he’d bargained for pressed against his ear. “Tomorrow. After the test. We’ll talk and figure things out.”

Ah yes, her little test. He’d pass it with flying colors.

Around midafternoon, Red finally arrived at his room, not to strip or straddle him so he could continue rediscovering the joys of sex, but to arch a brow and ask, “Are you ready to prove yourself?”

“Anytime you like, Red.” The husky innuendo only made her clamp her lips.

“Let’s go then.”

Derrick followed as she led him to the main floor and strode with quick paces toward the common area.

What surprise did she have planned? Macaroni necklaces? A rousing game of chess? He slowed his rolling approach at the sound of many people talking.

Within, his wolf whined.

He cast her a glance. “What have you done?”

“You said you would prove you’re ready.”

“This isn’t what I’d call a little test,” he groused.

Janine smirked at him. “Chickening out?”

“Not on your life.” Brave words, and yet, he hesitated before the doorway to the recreation room, currently crowded with way too many people.

People he knew.

His family, and they all knew to the second when he appeared.

Too many eyes pivoted to stare at Derrick. He stared back. No one moved. A Grayson family stand-off. What were the chances it would devolve into a brawl?

Pretty good actually, if he knew his family.

Trust his mother to break the stalemate with a loving harangue. “Derrick Jeremiah Grayson, how dare you refuse to see or talk to me.” Then she burst into tears.

His mother cried, such a rare thing that Derrick wanted to beat himself up for at being the cause.

At his mother’s tears, his father scowled. “Look what you did.” Gruff words, and yet, there was moisture in his dad’s eyes too. More than a few sets of eyes were damp, including his own—damned dusty place.

Only Naomi didn’t shed a tear. She planted her hands on her hips and snapped, “You’re the worst big brother ever. And a worse uncle. Do you realize you missed the twins’ birthday as well as mine? You know how much I like presents.”

“You’re almost thirty. Aren’t you getting too old for gifts?” Derrick retorted.

At her side, Naomi’s mates, Javier and Ethan, winced.

Actually, more than a few people winced. His sister’s eyes narrowed, and Derrick gripped his wheels, ready to flee her wrath.

But she didn’t start throwing things—or random bodies—at him. His sister tossed her head and angled her chin. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work. I’m much more mature now that I’m married and a mother. But maturity doesn’t mean I don’t expect something on my birthday.”

“What about Christmas?”

Her lips pursed. “That goes without saying and stop distracting me with promises of gifts. I wasn’t done telling you what a jerk you are for not coming to visit.”

Derrick shrugged. “I was kind of busy getting treatment.”

“Did you forget how to use a phone?”

“Or text.”

His family bugged him, like they’d bugged him his whole life, giving him a hard time. His brother Chris slugged him in the arm. Stu gripped the back of his chair and suddenly popped it into a wheelie and then scooted the chair forward, making engine noises.

“What the hell are you doing, fucktard?” Derrick snapped. “I’m a wounded veteran. Show a little respect.”

“Respect?” Stu jolted the chair down and snorted. “Big demand from the dude who kept us shut away.”

“I should have kept you there,” he grumbled, but not in anger. It felt better than expected to see his family again—even if the dust in this room was killer on his eyes.

I wonder if the fact I didn’t flee screaming means I passed Red’s test. It occurred to him he’d lost track of Janine during his reunion with his family. He turned his head to spot her still present, leaning against the doorjamb, cool as could be and smugly pleased he was sure. “This is all your fault, isn’t it? You know, when you said you wanted to test me, I was hoping for something a little more naked.” Shock me, will you? Take that! His words brought a blush to her cheeks and more than a few snickers.

Red crossed her arms and glared at him. “Behave or I’ll find a newspaper.”

“Again with the urge to smack me.” He patted his lap. “Come on over here and you can hit me as much as you’d like.”

“Haven’t you learned you can’t manipulate a psychologist?” She pushed off the doorframe. “You’re just trying to get a rise out of me to try and avoid dealing with your family. It’s not going to work, especially since I’m going to leave. Have fun,” she sang with a wave of her fingers.

She left.

“I like that girl,” his mother announced.

So do I, was his immediate thought, and if he didn’t think he’d fail, he would have raced after her. However, she was right. In order to prove himself worthy of her, he had to show he was ready to face the world, starting with the hardest part, his family.

Glancing around at all the faces, he couldn’t help but shake his head. “How come there are so many of you here? I mean, I knew Naomi was nearby because Red brought the babies over one day.” Speaking of whom, a baby girl, who’d wiggled free from her father’s arms, toddled her way over. Without even thinking, Derrick scooped Mellie into his lap and allowed the sticky hands to pat his cheeks.

“It’s not that far,” his brother Stu claimed.

“It’s a five-hour drive,” Derrick pointed out.

His dad shrugged. “I did worse than that daily when I drove the truck for a few years. Keep in mind, the whole pack of us didn’t do it every day. We took turns staying a few days at a time in a house we rented a few miles from here.”

“You rented a house? How long have you been coming out here?”

His mother rolled her eyes and snorted. “Since the beginning, of course.”

“But I left instructions for you to stay away.”

“You didn’t really think we’d abandon you, did you?”

Derrick, in his misery, hadn’t thought at all. His throat clogged with emotion.

“Idiot.” The cuff in the back of his head by Kendrick didn’t cause the tightness in his chest. Damn his family for respecting his wishes but remaining close at hand in case he needed them.

Derrick ducked to hide his stupid watering eyes. “I was having issues dealing with some stuff.”

“We hadn’t noticed.” Naomi’s sarcasm proved ripe.

“I think he was bulking up so he could try and kick our asses,” Stu announced.

“And exactly how am I supposed to do that?” The bitter retort snapped free at the first actual comment hinting at his condition. “Is this your way of pointing out the obvious?” He slammed a fist on his legs. “These don’t work. At all. My days of starting brawls and winning them is over.”

“Chill, dude.” Stu raised his hands. “Before you get all mightily offended, first off, I wasn’t talking about you getting into a fight. Check out what we brought.” His brother grabbed a folded wheelchair that leaned against the wall, its bars spray painted a bright metallic blue. He snapped it open, and Derrick gaped for a moment at the backrest.

“Speedy Stu?”

His brother plopped into the seat and gripped the wheels, bouncing himself around and spinning in tight circles. “While you’ve been bulking up, we’ve been practicing.”

“We?”

Three more wheelchairs popped open, red for Demonic Angel—his brother Chris—a yellow one for Kendrick labeled Killer Smile, and for Mitchell, the Green Machine.

The customized wheelchairs spun in the space while Derrick shook his head. “What have you dumbasses done now?”

Popping a tight spin, Chris grinned. “We’re about to launch the first ever Grayson Indy 100.”

“You want to race me?” Incredulity in his words, but a certain spot of adrenalized excitement coursed in Derrick’s veins.

“Duh. We’ve been waiting months for a chance to test out our skills against a master.”

Damn his brothers. Finding something athletic they could do that Derrick could handle. Assholes with their mushy caring made the dust levels rise in the room again.

Naomi yanked something from her large handbag. Ratt-a-tat. She shook the can of spray paint. “So what do you think we should call dumbass? Grumpy Beast. Lazarus.”

“I’ve got a better one.” A racing name that would drive Janine mental.