WES

I was seething.

I drove home, blood boiling in my veins. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have hurt her like that? How could I have lost my chance with her, the only woman I’d ever love?

You fucked up.

But I hadn’t meant to! I didn’t know she would be so upset about the stupid dinner! And I had no fucking idea about goddamn Becca, whom I’d left sitting at the bar after throwing a twenty dollar bill at the bartender and storming out. How could Hannah think I’d betray her like that?

Because she’d been betrayed like that before, asshole.

I frowned and pounded the heel of my hand on the steering wheel. I was furious with Drew for cheating on her. Furious with myself for leading Hannah to believe I wouldn’t choose her over anybody. And furious as fuck with my mother, who was about to bear the brunt of my rage.

I barged into the house and strode into the kitchen, where she was making dinner. “How could you do that to me?”

She feigned innocence as she set a pot of water on the stove. “What?”

“How could you set me up like that?”

“Wes, don’t be so dramatic, darling. It was just a drink. I thought it would be nice for you to get out of the house. Meet some new people. You’ve been so down this week.”

“I was down this week because Hannah asked for time apart. Because you made her feel bad.”

“I didn’t do anything to her.” She continued moving about the kitchen like everything was fine.

“Yes, you did. You said cruel things when she came to get Abby on Sunday. You shamed her, and you scared her.”

“I didn’t say anything she didn’t deserve to hear.” Taking a peeler from the drawer, she started peeling potatoes in the sink. “If she felt bad, it was because she heard the truth from me.”

“What do you have against her?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. Look at me.” I crossed my arms and waited. When she finally met my eyes, I could see she knew perfectly well what I meant. “Even before you knew about us, even when Drew was alive, you had something against her. Why?”

“I told you. She just wasn’t who I’d have chosen. I never understood it. And he was different after he married her. He wasn’t my same Drew.”

“He wasn’t your Drew at all, you mean.”

“She turned up her nose every time I tried to tell her how Drew liked anything!”

“No woman wants unsolicited advice from her mother-in-law.”

“But I’d been taking care of him for thirty years! Who was she to come along and think she could do it better? But all of a sudden he preferred her chicken and her apple pie and the way she ironed his shirts.”

“Mom! Are you hearing yourself?”

“He took her side in everything!” Color was rising in her face, and she gestured wildly with the peeler. “Any time there was a disagreement, he always took her side. After Abby was born, I tried again to be helpful. After I had raised two perfect boys—she should have listened to my advice. But did she? No! She nursed Abby so constantly that she wouldn’t take a bottle. No one else could feed her! I told them not to let the baby sleep in their bed, but they ignored me and they had all kinds of problems getting her to sleep. When I saw how tired and miserable Drew was after the baby was born, I reminded Hannah that she couldn’t neglect her husband just because there was a baby in the house. I didn’t neglect your father, and I had two babies to take care of! Everything she had to do, I had to do double!”

“Which I’m sure you reminded her of plenty of times.” I shook my head. “You made her feel small and inadequate.”

“You’re missing the point.”

It was almost laughable. “No, you’re missing the point. You picked on her because Drew loved her so much. You were jealous.”

She lifted her chin and went back to peeling. “She didn’t know how to take care of him and look what happened.”

“Jesus Christ. Hannah is not responsible for Drew’s death! How could you even think such a thing?”

She started to cry, but she kept peeling the damn potatoes. “It’s just how I feel. I lost him to her. Then I lost him forever.”

“He loved her. And you resented her for it. You want to punish her for being loved by him. And now by me.”

“Maybe I was hard on her. But she took him away from me,” she wept, “and she’ll take you, too.”

“It’s not like that, Mom. She’s not your rival. Or she wasn’t until you made her one.” I didn’t like seeing my mother in tears, but I had to get this off my chest. “You hurt her with your petty, jealous behavior. You made her daughter cry. You deceived me and embarrassed me. And you ruined my chance to be happy. You’re the one who should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Wes, please.”

“But you got what you wanted.”

She looked at me. “What do you mean?”

“Hannah and I are done. She broke it off.”

“Are you going to blame me for that?”

“Partly. But it’s partly my fault, too. If I could go back, I’d do a lot of things differently.” With that, I left her standing there in the kitchen and went up to my room to pack my things. I couldn’t stay there in that house any longer.

An hour later, I came down with my bags and headed straight for the front door. She spotted me from the kitchen and came hurrying into the foyer. “Wes? Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Tell Dad I’ll see him tomorrow at work.”

“Don’t leave,” she said, tearing up again. “Please. I’m sorry.”

“Too late, Mom. You had the chance to support me, but you chose to judge me instead.” Two seconds later I was out the front door, heading for my car. Once it was loaded, I drove away from the house and never looked back.

Only problem was I didn’t really have anywhere to go. I wouldn’t take possession of my house for another week. There were a lot of vacation rentals in the area, but at seven p.m., it was too late to contact anyone about those. As I was driving through town, I remembered the inn. Maybe Pete and Georgia would rent me a room for a week? But Georgia had been there tonight—I cringed with embarrassment. It would put her in a really awkward position to host me, wouldn’t it? I didn’t want to cause tension between her and Hannah, or between her and Pete.

There was another bed and breakfast in town called Inn the Garden, so I went there and booked a room for a week. The owners were gracious, the house was beautiful and quiet, and it was a short walk into town for dinner.

But I was miserable.

Somehow I’d lost the one thing I’d spent all those years dreaming about. I’d been offered a second chance to make her mine, and I’d fucked it up again. I didn’t blame Hannah for being mad or scared. I’d known all along how fragile she was, how disillusioned about love. I blamed myself, because I should have fought harder, like she said. I’d tried to placate my mother when I should have stood up to her. I’d done it from a place of love, and because I’d been so sure that things would turn out fine in the end. I’d thought love would prevail.

But maybe Hannah was right. Maybe love wasn’t enough.

* * *

Pete texted me the next day and I saw the message during lunch. I heard. You okay?

Not right now, I replied. Maybe someday.

Ouch. Want to grab a beer later? Lexington Brewery at 7?

What I wanted was another chance with Hannah, but it wasn’t going to happen. OK.

After work I took a run, even though I hadn’t slept well the night before and felt rundown and exhausted. I did it because I was hoping to maybe spot her around town, but it didn’t happen. I went back to my room and cleaned up, feeling frustrated and sad.

“You look like shit,” Pete said when I took the chair next to him at the bar later on. Jack was there too.

“I feel like it.”

“Georgia and Margot told us what happened.” He shook his head. “Man. What a fucked-up situation.”

“Yeah.” I stared at the menu without reading it. “Do they hate me?”

“Not at all,” Pete said.

“Margot feels sorry for you,” Jack said.

“So does Georgia,” added Pete. “Trust me. She’s been talking about it all. Day. Long.”

I grimaced. “Sorry.”

We ordered some food and a couple beers. “What are you gonna do?” he asked.

“What can I do? She doesn’t want me.”

His expression was puzzled, and he paused with his beer bottle halfway to his mouth. “That’s not how I heard it.”

“How did you hear it?”

“I heard she wants you, but she’s scared of your mom and a bunch of other shit in her head.”

“My mom.” I had to take a few long swallows from my beer before I could even think about her. “I’m so mad at her. I moved out.”

“You did? Where?” Pete asked.

I hesitated, feeling guilty. “To that inn on Huron. The bed and breakfast.”

“What? Why didn’t you just come to my house?”

“Or mine?” said Jack.

“Because I didn’t want to get in your way and I wasn’t sure how your wives felt. The scene was pretty ugly.”

Pete punched my arm. “Fuck you. We’ve been friends for thirty years. You should have come to us.”

I held up my hands. “Sorry, sorry. I’m fucking things up left and right.”

“Did you really not know about the girl?” Jack asked.

I shook my head. “I had no idea. That was all my mother. But was stupid of me to even sit there with her. Hannah was right, I should have just walked out.”

“Georgia thinks the thing with the birthday dinner was the bigger deal,” said Pete. “Like it confirmed in her mind that you wouldn’t choose her if it came to that.”

“But I would. That’s the thing, I would. I don’t know how she doesn’t see that.”

“Because she’s blinded by fear.” Jack spoke firmly. “She associates love with loss, and she thinks she’s protecting herself. The human mind can be a scary place.”

“I know,” I said miserably. “And I promised her everything would be okay. I promised her I’d find a way for us. And I failed.”

“No, you didn’t.” Jack sat up taller. “I mean, you might have made some mistakes, but you’re human. Don’t give up on her. If she’s anything like me, she needs time.”

“But I gave her time. I said she could have as long as she wanted.”

He shook his head. “No. She needs to think you really walked away. She needs to own the fact that she chose that, and then realize she was wrong. But it takes time.”

“Really?”

He picked up his beer. “Trust me on this.”

Pete exhaled. “I feel for you, man. I don’t have any advice, but I feel for you. And you’re always welcome at our place.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” It didn’t make up for losing Hannah, but it was good to know. “I should be able to move into my own house end of next week, although I need to buy some furniture. I don’t even have a bed.”

“At least you’ll be busy.”

“Right.”

But I didn’t want to be busy.

I wanted to be with Hannah. I wanted her to be there when I chose my new bed. I wanted her naked in it. I wanted it to be our bed, not mine, where I’d lose myself in her body and know she was mine.

I wanted to love her, and dammit, she’d said she would let me.

How had it all gone so wrong?