CHAPTER 49
BODHI
The pain I’d felt earlier had now transformed into pure rage.
Rage at Will.
Rage at the past.
Rage at my younger self for ruining my life with stupid, careless decisions that had never ceased to haunt me.
Maybe Will was right. Maybe, that night so fucking long ago, we should have told the truth. Maybe things would have turned out differently.
But maybe not.
That’s the fucking kicker, ain’t it? You can’t go back. You can’t make another decision and get a fucking do-over.
You've got one chance most of time.
That night was one of those.
Don’t get me wrong. If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d do it all differently. I’d never have touched Jane, first of all.
I don’t even know why I did that.
I was drunk, that was for sure.
Hell, Bryce and I were both drunk as skunks. We always were, though. That’s just what we did. We hung out, got drunk, and found ways to waste a hell of a lot of time. It wasn’t easy in this boring ass town, but we managed.
We did a lot of walking, and a lot of talking.
We had dreams back then, big ones. We were both going to hit the big time, be big football stars at Oregon State, get out of this piss ant town and make something of ourselves.
Both our families expected us to carry on the family tradition of nourishing our roots here in Greenville, but neither one of us was interested in that. We couldn’t wait to get out of here, go off to college, start our lives.
I left Molly’s door after a few minutes of pounding on it. Let her ignore me, I didn’t care.
She didn’t care about me anyway.
She was just like her useless mother…
Nobody cared about me.
In fact, there wasn’t anyone who’d given a genuine rat’s ass about me since Bryce died, truth be told. And he’d been dead for twenty-five long years now. I remembered that night like it was yesterday, the details of it all remaining clear as day in my head as the years passed. I’d tried to forget parts of that night, but it never worked.
I walked down the hall to my office, lost in the past once again.
It had been a night just like a thousand before it.
Cold, dark, uneventful.
Quiet and boredom were two qualities that plagued a town like Greenville and yet Bryce and I had made it our mission to squeeze every ounce of entertainment out of it before we left for college.
We’d spent the last few hours at the football field, hanging out on the fifty-yard line and smoking some grass that he’d found in his Aunt Dottie’s kitchen drawer. We lay on our backs, looking up at the stars.
“Can you believe it’s almost over?” Bryce asked.
“What?”
“High school. Greenville.”
“It’s about time,” I said. “This last year has drawn on forever.”
“It’s been nice, though, don’t you think?” he asked, lifting up on one elbow and leaning over me.
“I guess,” I shrugged, taking a hit off the joint and passing it back to him. He smiled down at me.
“Admit it,” he said. “You’ve had a blast. You’re the fucking golden boy of Greenville.”
“Whatever,” I said. “So are you.”
“Not like you, Bodhi,” he said, his voice softening. He looked down at me and shook his head. “Everybody loves you.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, warily.
“It’s true,” he said, growing quiet. He stared down at me and his eyes glassed over. At the time, I thought he was just stoned.
“There’s nothing special about me,” I muttered. I truly believed that. I was born into this life, I’d not done anything to deserve having it so good. My family’s money. The privilege I’d grown up with. Having a friend like Bryce, even though he could be a bit of a violent prick sometimes, those weren’t things I deserved.
“You’re special, Bodhi,” he said, smiling at me. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“You’re the only one who thinks that,” I said.
He grew quiet again and I stared back up at the stars. After a moment, we stood up and started walking again, heading back towards the town square and towards his house.
“Do you think college is going to be weird?” he asked.
“No,” I said, as we neared the corner by Jenny’s diner.“Why would it?”
“We won’t get to see each other as much,” he shrugged.
“Aren’t you sick of seeing each other? It’s time to make new friends,” I replied.
Bryce stopped, reaching for my arm.
“Bodhi, I’m just saying, I’m going to miss you, man,” he said.
“You’ll see me all the time,” I said. “We’re going to the same school. We’ll be on the same team, for fuck’s sake.”
“We won’t spend as much time alone,” he said, his big blue eyes peering down at me. I squinted, my mind reeling at what I saw there. I shook my head, sure it was the weed that was getting to me.
But then, he shook his head slowly and bent it towards mine, his lips falling against my lips, warm and hesitating. I froze, my head spinning.
What the hell was happening?
His kiss turned harder, his tongue darting out and sliding between mine. I stood frozen in place as he kissed me.
A crash sounded behind us and we jumped apart instantly. A startled Jane stood in the alley by the trash can, her eyes wide as saucers, a bag of garbage in her hand. She dropped it and shuffled away quickly. Bryce and I looked at each other.
My mouth opened in shock and I shook my head.
“Bryce, dude…” I began.
“Don’t, man, just don’t,” he said, putting up a hand and running away, disappearing into the park.
I watched him go, confusion filling my head as I slowly started towards the diner, towards Jane, all alone, so pretty, and me, so drunk, so stoned, so damned confused…
I shook the images from my head, the rest of it too hard to take right now. I couldn’t go there. Not tonight.
Tonight, I needed to take care of business.
I needed to save my future, my family, and my business.
I picked up the phone and called Ross. It took him a few rings, but he finally answered.
“Bodhi, what’s up?”
“It’s time, Ross. Will’s gone off the deep end. We can’t wait any longer.”
“For fuck’s sake, Bodhi, this again?”
“There’s no other way, Ross. Do you want to go down for all this? You were there, too.”
“I don’t know anymore, honestly. Aren’t you tired of all this? The lies? The hiding? Looking over your fucking shoulder? It was a long time ago, Bodhi, and honestly, none of us did anything wrong, except covering it up. We should have come clean a long time ago.”
My anger returned in a rush.
“Ross, if you don’t fucking listen to me, if you don’t get on board with this, I’ll fucking kill you, too. Do you understand? Either Will goes, or we all fucking go. I’m not afraid to take you all down with me.”
“Bodhi, this doesn’t make sense. So you kill Will, then what? It’s just another lie. Another fucking secret to live with. Enough is enough!”
“Just tell me you’ve got my fucking back, Ross!”
“Fine! Dammit! I’ve got your back. I’m tired, Bodhi. Do whatever you fucking want. I’ve got a prisoner to attend to.”
“Who?”
“Fury. I thought you knew? I picked him up.”
“Why?”
“Hank wants to press charges.”
“No fucking way,” I said. “I need him. Let him go. Let him fucking go right now, Ross, and tell him to call me right away.”
“Jesus, Bodhi.”
“I’m not fucking around, Ross. Do it.”
I hung up the phone, more determined than ever that I was doing the right thing.
All I needed was Fury to finish the job and I’d never have to worry about Will again.