CHAPTER TWELVE
“He left,” Riley said, and the words sent a shiver of fear down Cam’s spine. He’d asked his friend to phone him with updates, but this was the first real one that Riley could give him that wasn’t “he’s sleeping” or “he’s hurting”.
“What do you mean?”
“He just left—wanted a cab called, and we couldn’t exactly stop him.”
“Where did he go?”
Riley repeated the address the cab had been given, and Cam’s heart sank. Back to the apartment with the man who’d hurt him.
“Thank you anyway,” Cam said, and waited for Riley to say something, like a goodbye. Instead Riley began to talk about things that made Cam feel far from comfortable.
“If you need our help, or anything at all, to get him away from the life he’s in at the moment, then you know where we are. Jack and I, we don’t judge in any way for what a man has been through in his life. And Cam, I have to say, Gabriel looked hollow-eyed when he was here, like he didn’t have any passion for life left in him. Like he wanted to die.”
“What?”
“He said some things to Clair… She’s someone who works at the ranch with some of the visitors who need some help. She’s a friend of Steve Murray. You know him.”
Cam was impatient to get to the point of this conversation, and decided that direct was for the best. “Are you saying he didn’t want to be alive anymore? Are we…” He couldn’t even voice the words. Concern for Gabriel was twisting itself inside him, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. Of course, there was the fact he was a human being who was in trouble, or at least stuck somewhere awful, but this was a hooker he’d bought for two nights.
I shouldn’t care this much.
However, he’d be the first person to admit that he might care too much.
“I need you to book Gabriel again,” Cam told Six.
“No.”
“Six—”
“This is ridiculous. That man is nothing but trouble. He had every chance to get out of that life, and he turned it down. He’s damaged goods, and it’s up to me to see things that you can’t. So no, I won’t book him.”
Cam brushed past Six, walking straight into the table and cursing to himself, but at least he’d found the table.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding the number, because you have to book him for me, and my phone is in my room,” he said, and ran his hand over the table, coming to a dead stop next to a mug and tracing his way around it.
“Jesus, Cam—”
“I need to speak to Gabriel. I have to stop him from doing anything stupid.”
He ran his hand across the table, not sure what he was looking for—a Rolodex or something? Did people even have those anymore?
A strong hand clasped his and he tried to shake it off. Stepping back, he tangled Gidget’s harness up in his legs, and the next thing he knew he’d stepped on her. She yelped.
“Stop, Cam. Just stop.”
Cam left his hand fly, connecting with part of Six, then falling back to slide down the wall and sit on the floor, Gidget pressing into him.
“Shit,” Cam muttered, burying his face in her soft fur and holding tight. “I hurt Gidget.”
“She’s okay,” Six said from close by, clearly kneeling next to Cam, or maybe crouching. Who the hell knew? “Tell me what’s going on.”
Cam knocked his head back against the wall. He was going to sound stupid, talking about a weird-ass connection to a man he’d only spent two evenings with.
“I feel something for him, okay? Compassion, sorrow…fuck knows what it is, but I need to do something.”
“I’ll get him here.”
“For the whole night. I’ll pay what it takes.”
“That makes no fucking sense, Cam—”
“No, you see, if I make a standing booking, every week, one night, and I pay a lot… I mean, I have the money—I can pay what the hell I want, can’t I?”
“You’re not making sense.”
“I am. If he has a booking, then maybe…” His voice broke, and Gidget butted him with her cold nose.
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe he won’t kill himself.”
Silence.
Then he felt Six sit next to him, his back against the same wall, his voice thick with emotion. “Jesus, Cam.”
And all Cam could say over and over was two simple words. “I know. I know.”
Cam was nervous the first time. He wasn’t even sure that Gabriel would take the booking, or this Stefan guy that Six booked through. As soon as Six had organized the booking, Cam started to worry. What if Gabriel had told his pimp that it had been Cam he’d turned to in order to get out of the city and to Legacy Ranch? Just booking him again could have put him in danger.
The knock was loud, and Cam walked to the door to let Gabriel in. He opened it wide and stood to one side, and he knew it was Gabriel there. Six had told him he was on the way up, and there was Gabriel’s unique scent.
“Gabriel,” Cam murmured.
Gabriel came in and Cam shut the door.
“This isn’t good,” Gabriel said.
Cam wasn’t even going there. “How are you?”
“What?”
“It’s polite. I’m being polite. I want to know how you are. How have you been? How is your head?”
Did Stefan hurt you? Are you covered in bruises? Have you bled for the man you ran back to?
“It’s all good. Where do you want me?”
“What film do you want to watch?”
“You didn’t pay me to watch films.”
“I did. Didn’t Six say that?”
Gabriel didn’t answer, but the next thing Cam knew, he was being pressed back against the wall, and Gabriel had his hands down his pants.
“We need to talk,” Cam said, and tried to push Gabriel away, but after a few seconds, Gabriel’s teeth scraping Cam’s throat and his hand moving rhythmically on his cock, he realized he didn’t want to talk at all. He wanted more of this. Didn’t matter if it was wrong, if he’d booked Gabriel so they could talk—it felt too good right now.
Gabriel pushed down Cam’s pants and underwear and went to his knees, rolled on a condom and sucked Cam to the point where he was close, then he backed away.
“What do you want?” he asked.
Was there more to that question? Was it something deeper than just how Cam wanted to come?
“I want to talk,” Cam said, his orgasm fading, and suddenly the absurdity of standing there half naked with Gabriel somewhere on the floor, probably looking up at him, was enough for him to yank up his underwear, then his pants, and button them.
“You didn’t pay me to talk.”
“Jesus, Gabriel, I paid you to do whatever the hell I want for the next four hours.”
“Okay,” Gabriel said after a short pause, and then there was the noise of him standing up, and the cracking of his knees was obvious in the otherwise silent room.
“Don’t go to your knees again,” Cam said, realizing it sounded more like an order than a request.
“Yes, sir,” Gabriel murmured.
“Choose a film; I’ll get snacks. You want Sprite?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just navigated his way to the kitchen and pulled out all the snacks he could feel, along with two bottles in the fridge—Sprite for Gabriel, water for him. He stuck his head in the fridge, the cold welcome on his flushed face. God, he’d wanted to come so bad, but that wasn’t what this was for.
They settled in front of Gabriel’s choice, Lethal Weapon, and sat for the entire film in silence. He felt his watch—he still had at least two hours left.
“I’ll get some food sent up,” he announced, and reached for the in-house phone on the table next to the sofa. Gidget grumbled but moved out of the way, and finally Cam was connected to the kitchen. He ordered whatever was in season and a bottle of whichever wine matched the food.
He didn’t bother asking Gabriel, because he expected him to say that Cam wasn’t paying him to make dinner choices.
“I’m setting this up as a regular thing,” he announced as they were halfway through Lethal Weapon 2. “Twice a week I will pay you to come here and watch films and talk. Agreed?”
He wished he could see Gabriel’s expression, guessed it would be a combination of shocked and resigned.
“Six will organize it with your…friend.”
“Stefan could say no.” Although Gabriel sounded intrigued at the thought of Cam booking him and what Stefan’s reaction would be.
“He can try,” Cam said darkly. “Also, I want you to think about leaving the place you share with Stefan and moving to Legacy Ranch. I will sponsor you financially to get you into college and into a job.”
There was a movement, and Cam felt Gabriel stand up. “Night,” he said.
“We’re not done,” Cam called after him, but he knew it was useless—the door slamming was indication enough that Gabriel hadn’t liked what he’d said.
That night, Cam was restless, taking Gidget and touring the hotel like he sometimes did when everyone was asleep. He got a sense of the hotel just after midnight, and there was peace there. He ended up in reception, taking a seat there, right in the back, Gidget curled up next to him. He chatted for a while with Doug the security guard, and Lacey, who manned the desk on tonight’s shift between midnight and four. They talked weather, and films, and TV, and dogs, and everything that was normal.
He didn’t sleep, though. He couldn’t. He wasn’t tired, and the thought of sleeping, until he’d found out what the answer was from this Stefan guy, was foreign to him.
The next booking was much the same, although Gabriel didn’t try anything like sex. Cam gave him a drink, and Gabriel thanked him, but other than that there wasn’t much in the way of talking. When Gabriel left Cam went back to prowling the corridors of the Royal with Gidget, stopping, chatting about everything and nothing, and not sleeping at all. He wanted to ask what kind of work Gabriel was getting. Six had said he hadn’t been seen in the hotel, and Cam didn’t know whether to worry or think that maybe Gabriel wasn’t looking for work.
And why would he not look for work? Stupid.
Their third night together was different. Gabriel was edgy and restless. Cam didn’t need to have sight to know something was wrong, and he didn’t know how else to find out except to ask outright. Which he did.
But the answer surprised him.
“I’ve been thinking about things,” Gabriel admitted. “That’s all.”
“You want to talk?”
“No.”
“Okay then, choose a film.”
They settled down to Raiders of the Lost Ark, and the silence between them was odd. Or was Cam making it odd? He wanted to ask what Gabriel had been thinking about. Was it about stopping coming here? Or something way more practical?
Halfway through the film, Gabriel turned it off, and after some moving on the sofa he sighed noisily.
“I really want to see your face,” he said softly.
From the direction of the voice Cam could tell that Gabriel was facing him and talking right at him. So that statement was nothing but plain weird.
“You can see it,” Cam said, and touched a finger to his lips. “It’s right here.”
“I want to see your face when you come.” This time Gabriel was blunt. Then he tripped over the rest. “It’s beautiful. You close your eyes, and you come, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Gabriel…”
“And I don’t get that with any of the others, I don’t feel it, I don’t want to see it. It’s a job, it’s nothing but a fucking job.”
“I’m not paying you for sex, Gabriel.”
“Then I’ll suck you off for free.” Gabriel placed a hand over his crotch and squeezed his cock, which had been hard from the moment Gabriel had made his announcement.
“No,” Cam said, and pushed his hand away. “I can’t think straight when you’re touching me.”
Gabriel made a small sound of disappointment, then made a move that Cam hadn’t been expecting. The weight of Gabriel landed on him, straddling his lap, and when Gabriel began to move, grinding against him, Cam’s grip to ease him away turned into a grip to hold him close.
“Can I kiss you?” Gabriel asked, and placed his hands on Cam’s shoulders. “I want to close my eyes and kiss you, and not get up until you’ve come over my hand or spilled in my mouth.”
“Shit… Gabe…”
“And I want you to call me Gabe, I want you to tell me what to do, to make me suck you just by telling me, and I want it all to be free. I don’t want you to pay me, I want you to pretend you want me for real, however difficult that is.” He kissed Cam again, deeply, before Cam could even reassure him that he did want Gabriel for real.
The kiss turned to more, Gabriel encouraging Cam to lie flat on the sofa, placing his hands above his head and telling him not to move. He kissed every inch of skin he revealed, and teased Cam until he could do nothing except mewl his appreciation.
“I wish I could feel this,” Gabriel murmured, so low Cam could have missed it if his hearing hadn’t become so acute over the years. He wanted to know more, but then Gabriel got deadly focused, and in a short time Cam was coming, and Gabriel kissed him again and again, telling him how beautiful he was.
He left pretty soon after that, and neither of them said a thing.
When Gabriel had left, Cam went on his hotel walk, stopped and talked, but this time it wasn’t because he couldn’t sleep; it was because he didn’t want to sleep in case he forgot a single moment of it all.