7
HOLLY
Just think about it.
Danny’s words, what happened in the supply room, are all I can think about. It’s been two weeks, but they play on repeat inside my head. Two weeks during which I’ve fought the tug of those words. Two weeks where I’ve battled my body and my heart, denying them what they want.
I can fill your gaps, Holly. Let me be your respite, Holly.
Damn it all. I tell the man all I have is gaps, and he offers to fill them. He offers me respite. He couldn’t have chosen his words better if he tried. If he’d said he wanted to fuck my brains out for eternity, he’d be much easier to ignore. Frankly, I don’t need another person wanting something from me.
But he hadn’t. He’d offered himself to me. In service to me. To be my port in the relentless storm that is my life. A place to lay my head and forget for a while in the snatches of time life affords me.
Those words are like music to my ears.
And then there’s the way he says Holly. It’s cute and sexy when he calls me Doc but holy cow, when he says Holly? Breathing it out like he does as if it’s some kind of sacred word? Something precious? It weakens my knees and wraps glowing fingers around my heart.
But…I can’t. No matter how tempted I am. There’s only one thing worse than not throwing caution to the wind and taking Danny up on his offer. And that’s the thought of taking it up and having him tire of being used to fill in my gaps after three or six or twelve months and ending it.
I don’t need to be dealing with a broken heart on top of everything else. Better to deny myself now, while I don’t know what I’m missing, than let it drag on. Because he’s absolutely right—there is more than fucking between us. No matter how much I try to deny it, I’m falling for him, and I think he feels the same way.
Which is, of course, preposterous and will be ignored. I don’t have time for a broken heart, and I’m really good at denial. Even if just sitting here thinking about him has my nipples hard as bullets and an ache as jagged as the Rocky Mountains between my legs.
I have two precious days off, and I’m supposed to be studying. There are papers and open textbooks strewn across the coffee table. But all I can think about is Danny pounding me against the wall at work, me all but naked, and him all but clothed.
A sudden knock on my door startles me so much I actually jump a little. My pulse instantly accelerates. Danny? Could it be him? Every knock on my door these past two weeks has me going to the same place. Maybe the cloud of estrogen hanging around my apartment has finally reached him on the sixth floor, and he’s decided to pay me a visit? To stop waiting for me to make the first move?
Because, despite my resolve, I’m not sure I can resist another overture on his behalf.
My pulse trips and my legs tremble as I rise from the couch and head to the door. When I reach for the knob my hand shakes. It’s ridiculous but my body refuses to be quelled as I open the door.
It’s not Danny and for a moment I just stare at the UPS guy, who greets me with a friendly smile and holds out a rectangular parcel. It’s from Amazon. I take it automatically even though I know I haven’t ordered anything from them.
Like I get time for online shopping.
But it has my name and address on the front. Maybe my mom ordered something for me and forgot to say anything? I sign for it and he leaves and there’s just me and the parcel. I should put it aside for later, but it’s not like I’m being particularly productive right now. Thinking about Danny doing me in the supply room instead of ventilation protocols for inhalation burns is not getting me anywhere.
I sit and tear open the parcel to reveal a box with a picture of a bright pink dildo on all four sides. And the lid. I blink, momentarily stunned. My mom sure as hell hasn’t sent me this. Which only leaves one person. I look through the discarded packaging and find the note.
An entry-level model for your further education.
Love Danny xxx
I blink again at his choice of words. Love Danny. My heart gives a funny little double beat as those two words stare back at me. A standard, familiar way to sign off a card? Or a reflection of his true feelings?
The thought gets me so churned up, I actually transfer my attention back to the box. Gingerly I open the lid, like I’m afraid it might leap out and insert itself in my vagina of its own accord. It doesn’t, so I upend the box and the packaged dildo falls into my lap.
Tentatively, I pick it up. The crinkle of the clear plastic is loud in the silent room. It’s long and thick and hard, cylindrical rather than being any kind of life-like representation of the male anatomy, and I’m back in the elevator with Danny and the screwdriver.
My body responds in kind. My nipples ache as if they’re being pinched and my pelvic floor contracts in some kind of Pavlovian muscle memory. A warm, slick gush oozes from between my legs and dampens my inner thighs.
It’s like the universe—or Danny, anyway—knew I’d be sitting on my couch at this precise moment, so damn horny on my day off I can barely concentrate. I rip it out of its plastic, needing to ease the roar inside me so damn bad, I don’t care how I achieve it.
And it’s a lot safer than Danny. A dildo can also fill my gaps without needing anyone.
A strong waft of plastic wrinkles my nose. The latex aroma is almost overwhelming and I thank god I’m not allergic. I’d probably already be rolling on the floor with my airway closing off just from the smell alone.
Danny doesn’t smell like that.
I think about the real thing and my urgency dies. It’s not the same. It doesn’t look the same or feel the same. It sure as hell doesn’t smell the same. It’s not the real thing, and I suddenly need the real thing. Not just anything.
I need Danny.
And not only for what he’s packing inside his underwear and his willingness to put it at my service whenever I want. But because he’s the first man ever who’s made me think about anything other than my job. Because he’s made me believe I can actually have a life outside medicine. Because he’s offering me more than sex.
He’s offering me a life and for the first time, I actually want one.
Because he’s been dogged and determined in his pursuit of me, despite my lack of encouragement. Because his smile turns me on and makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. Because he was patient and playful in the elevator and made me laugh more than I’d laughed in the previous week.
A dildo can’t do that.
I look at it in my hand, garishly pink, and toss it on the coffee table as if it’s suddenly caught fire. I hunt around for my phone, dragging it out from under some papers, my fingers shaking as I open a message to him.
Come and do me now!!!
My finger pauses over the send button and I delete it after a couple of seconds. I know in my gut that I’m the one who has to go to him. He’s the one who’s made all the moves. Who’s put himself out there for me.
It’s my turn to do the same for him.
I think for a little. My pulse is bounding through my body so hard I can feel it in my fingers as they hover over the keyboard. Finally, I settle on something simple.
Are you home?
I stare at the phone for long moments, willing for those three little dots to appear that tell me he’s texting back. Suddenly they do and my pulse edges up a little higher.
In 39. Fixing sink. Why? You get a delivery you need a hand with?
I laugh. He’s such a cocky…bastard.
I don’t stop to answer. I don’t stop to think. I don’t even stop to change my clothes or run a brush through my hair or put on lipstick. I have to see him—now. I have to tell him now. And it’s not like the man was put off by me looking like the Yeti on the day of the blizzard.
I run down four flights of steps. The door to thirty-nine is open and I stride in, not knocking or waiting for an invitation to enter and even though I’ve never been inside the apartment I turn left for the kitchen. All the apartments have the same layout.
I see Danny in his regulation jeans and t-shirt, his shoulders broad, his ass to die for as he bends over the sink, and my heart leaps. And not because of his ass but because of the sense of rightness that settles in my bones.
“Danny?”
He turns abruptly, his eyebrows raised, his frown turning into one of those slow burn smiles that I feel deep in my soul as well as other places. He’s so close I can reach out and touch him.
“You need it that bad, huh?”
I glance at the huge wrench in his hand. “We’re not talking about that, I hope.”
He chuckles and those dimples…I want to lick those dimples. “I don’t think you can handle the wrench just yet. Although…” He tips his chin at the tool bag. “I do have my lucky screwdriver with me.”
“Lucky screwdriver?”
“Oh yeah. I’m claiming custody of it when Bob returns.”
Not even the thought that he’ll be moving out in four months is enough to give me pause. He’s still a Hardrock resident and that’s what cars are for, right?
The wrench makes a metallic scraping sound as Danny places it in the sink. His biceps shift nicely at the action, in fact they both do as his fingers wrap around the edge of the sink behind him. He rests his ass against it too, his legs casually extended and crossed at the ankles.
I try not to look at soft denim cupping the very nice bulge nestled between his legs and fail. But I manage to contain it to a brief glance. He smiles as he clocks my interest.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?”
My breath is suddenly thick as fog in my throat. I haven’t really prepared a speech. I’d just run, needing to see him. This isn’t like me at all. I haven’t been me since I met Danny Colton and I like it.
His smile grows bigger. “Breathe, Doc.”
I give a half-laugh at the absurdity of it but at least it forces me to take a breath and it bolsters me. “I’ve come to say…yes.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “To?” He’s the epitome of laid-back cool but I notice his knuckles turning white around the lip of the sink.
“Filling in my gaps.” A huge weight lifts from my shoulders as I say it and I almost sag to the ground. Bolstered even further, I press on. “You asked me to think about it so…I thought about it and…here I am.”
“Because of the dildo?” He laughs. “If I’d known buying it for you was going to have this result, I’d have hand delivered it. Two weeks ago.”
“No, not the dildo. Well yes…but no.”
“Okay?”
“It was the catalyst. It got me thinking about the difference between a mechanical aid and the real thing. Between a flesh-and-blood man and a substitute. Between a full life and half one. Between living and existing.”
“And you want to live?”
I nod. “I do.”
He grins at me, really big, then he grabs me and his mouth is on me, hot and urgent, and his hands are on me hot and urgent, turning me, the sink digging into my lower back now as he cages me between it and his body, his rapidly swelling cock grinding into the juncture of my legs. It’s exactly where I want to be and what I want to be doing—kissing and grinding on Danny Colton. For as long as he’ll have me.
Forever, I hope.
“Christ,” he mutters, tearing his mouth from mine. “I want to rip open your shirt, turn you around and fuck you from behind until you scream.”
My already shaky legs wobble some more as I half pant, half laugh. “Sounds good to me.”
“Don’t tempt me, Doc.”
I sigh. “You’re right, my timing sucks. I have to go back and study. But I have planned a break for twelve.” There’s a clock hanging on the nearby wall. “That’s three hours.”
“Perfect,” he says and kisses me again until I’m moaning and shifting against him.
I break away this time. I really do need to get back to my books. “I’ll come to yours at twelve?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “The rules are I come to you. Always. Wherever you are. Wherever you want me. All you ever have to be is be naked. Deal?”
His voice is all low and growly and so damn hot I nod because I’m not sure I can find my voice right at this second. My entire body is melting down at the images he’s just hurled into my head. Danny at my beck and call.
“Text me when you stop for your break.” And he kisses me again, brief and hard, before stepping back a pace, far enough to release me from the cage of his body but close enough for me to still feel the tension in his frame. “Now go.”
My entire body protests the move and I think—screw it. A glorious deal such as this deserves a reward. And I know exactly how I want to bestow it. “Is the owner around?”
He shakes his head. “Mrs. Duffy’ll be back in about ten minutes.”
Ten minutes? I reckon I’m only going to need a couple. A surge of female power spurts through my veins and I step forward and reclaim the distance he put between us, smiling at him as my hand slides to the button of his jeans.
“Doc.” He smiles back as he glances at my busy fingers, his frame relaxing into bemusement, but not for long I hope. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to give you a blow job.”
He chuckles. “Oh really?”
“What? You think I don’t know how to give one of those?”
“Not at all. I’m just surprised to hear those words coming from your mouth.”
I yank his zipper down and the tension returns to his body. He’s not smiling now. “What can I say? Being with you has been rather liberating and I’ve been dying to—” I lean forward and press my lips to his ear and whisper, “suck your cock for a while now.”
I sink to my knees.
“Oh…Jesus.” His hands grip the sides of his thighs as he stares down at me. “I’ve created a monster.”
I smile as I reach inside his jeans and pull his erection free, wrapping my hands around it. A groan that sounds as if it was torn from his throat escapes and he makes a grab for the sink. “Talking of monsters.”
He laughs but it cuts off as I lean forward and open my mouth over him. He groans, deep and long, and I’m vaguely aware of the ink on his forearm as the muscle bulges in response to his grip on the sink. I don’t pussyfoot around, I don’t tease with my tongue and hands, I just go for it. I can dazzle him with technique some time a woman called Mrs. Duffy won’t bust me on my knees giving the building super a blow job.
“Fuck…Holly… I love watching your mouth swallow me.”
I glance up to find him watching me, watching the spread of my lips as they plunge down his shaft. I take him as deep as I can while I look at him and he grunts his pleasure. I do it again, my hand sliding to his ass, anchoring there, feeling his glute contract as his shaft disappears almost all the way behind my lips.
“Jesus,” he mutters and grabs for the sink with his other hand, his eyes shutting.
Mine do too, savoring the musky taste and the soapy smell of him, the thickness of him, the wet glide of his shaft between my lips, the wideness of my jaw as I take him deeper and deeper. His thighs are trembling. So are mine. And I’m hot and wet and slippery between my legs and my nipples are stiff and raw from rubbing against the lace of my bra.
I know all I need to do is slip a hand between my legs and I’ll fall apart. But this isn’t about me. It’s about Danny, about loving Danny, and power swells in my veins as he mutters something guttural and unintelligible. It goads me to stop and play for a bit when I know I shouldn’t.
I pull off and I wait until his eyes flick open before I deliberately run the wet plump head of his cock around my lips, snaking my tongue out, swiping it over the top, back and forth as he watches. I lick down it then on the underside, his shaft brushing my cheek.
“Christ, that’s hot,” he mutters, a rich, dark glitter coming into his eyes as his hand leaves the sink to bury itself in my hair, angling my head a little for him to thrust his hips and glide himself up and down my tongue, run himself around my lips.
“Open,” he says, and I open, my eyes glued on his as he pushes slowly into my mouth, right to the back and I hold it there until I can’t any longer, gagging a little just as he eases the pressure on my hair and the back of my throat. He does it again, angling my head further, pushing in again. My eyes water and saliva floods my mouth but his eyes are practically rolling back in his head and I hold still, watching him, watching his pleasure as his cock sits deeper this time even as my throat works against the stimulus.
He eases off again and I smile up at him around the fullness of his shaft. He smiles back as he untwists his hand from my hair and reluctantly shoves it back on the edge of the sink. He grunts, knowing we don’t have time for the blow job porn version I really want to give him.
“Suck it.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I shut my eyes then and suck. I suck hard and fast, my tongue swirling up and down his shaft as I go and I have him breathing hard and trembling in less than a minute.
He groans and my eyes flick open, meeting his. “Christ. I’m going to come.”
My heart rate spikes and I moan around his cock, going harder and faster, digging my fingers into his ass.
“Ahh…Goddamn…fuuuck.”
His voice is a loud whisper as the first salty taste of him spills across my tongue. I moan and take him deep as he unloads. He grunts through his climax, his hands grip the sink hard, his eyes shut, his face screwed into a mask of agony and ecstasy as he fights the urge to bellow his pleasure.
I suck him until there’s nothing left and he sags a little and opens his eyes. Slowly I slide off him and smile. He laughs and shakes his head. “Fuck, Holly.” He pants a couple of times. “I think I just saw God.”
I laugh, dizzy at the compliment, high on the taste of him, but only for a nanosecond as a distant voice calls, “Everything okay, Daniel?”
“Crap!” His eyes bug wide open. “That’s her.”
If it wasn’t so serious it would be funny, the two of us frantically righting ourselves, straightening up, tucking ourselves away.
“Jesus.” His voice is a husky whisper as he looks at my mouth and shakes his head. “You look like you’ve just been sucking cock.”
“Yeah? Well you look like you’ve just had your cock sucked.”
His eyes widen at me saying cock and I grin. “That’s right,” I say, my voice low, “I’m going to be saying that a lot more.”
His nostrils flare this time but Mrs. Duffy is upon us.
“Sorry that didn’t take as long as I thought.” She appears in the kitchen and stops abruptly as she notices me. “Oh hello, dear.” She smiles. “I didn’t know Daniel had company.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. Daniel? Hmmm. I like it. “No I’m sorry, Mrs. Duffy. I’m…”
I’m what? The answer eludes me. I’m…just sucking Daniel’s cock? I hadn’t thought about how I was going to present us to other people. I was only just wrapping my head around there being an us. I panic for a second, looking to him for answers.
He chuckles at my obvious floundering. “This is my girlfriend, Holly, Mrs. Duffy, she lives on seven.”
“Oh how lovely,” the older woman beams.
His girlfriend. And just like that it’s easy. So easy. Danny makes everything so easy. Including loving him.
“Yes, it is.” He dazzles the older woman with his dimples before turning to me. “I’ll see you at twelve?”
The promise in his eyes is unmistakable. Hell yes. “Sure.”
He smiles and mouths, “Be naked,” as Mrs. Duffy turns away and I smile too, knowing there’s going to be a whole lot of naked in my future.
And it starts at midday.
…
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