SHE HAD PUT on hiking boots. Not because Wyatt had told her to, obviously, but because it made sense. She was hiking, after all.
She still couldn’t quite believe that she was going hiking.
The whole day she had taken in between Wyatt sightings hadn’t done a whole lot to clear her head in point of fact.
She had been distracted and moody, and Sabrina had called her out on it, which was annoying. Lindy had sidestepped the questioning in a rather feral fashion, which was exceedingly unlike her. She was never feral.
Though, it was undeniable she had done a fair amount of growling around since Wyatt had left her house the other day.
She knew what she had been thinking. She had been thinking of how amazing it would feel to touch him. How great it would be if she didn’t have to hold back anymore. How wonderful it would be for just a moment to shed some of the exoskeleton that she kept so firmly in place. That she used to keep herself separate from the world.
She had done it.
It had been amazing.
Not only the time on the couch, but the times in her bed too. He was an extremely thorough lover. And he definitely seemed to get something out of her pleasure. He’d made a point of it, above his own.
The things that man could do with his hands...
The thought of it made her hot and bothered. She really needed to get her act together since she was about to face him.
She held her breath for the last five seconds between the highway and the driveway for Get Out of Dodge. She didn’t know why she thought holding her breath might help. But something had to.
By the time she pulled in she was feeling no less flustered and a little bit dizzy.
And Wyatt was standing out there on the front porch waiting for her, arms crossed over that broad chest of his.
She knew how it looked without clothes now.
He had the perfect body. She wanted to see it again.
But whether or not this hiking trip fell under personal or business, she didn’t know. And she had rules.
Maybe they needed to make office hours.
She parked her car next to his truck and got out. Unfortunately, as she approached him, he laughed at her. Which really didn’t help with the flustered feeling.
“What?”
“You look like a catalog ad for one of those fussy outdoor stores,” he said.
She wrinkled her nose and put her hands on her hips, looking down and examining her own appearance. Her olive green button-down shirt, her tan cargo style shorts and her boots. Plus the flannel tied around her waist.
“I do not,” she protested.
“Yes. You do. You look like you asked for them to give you everything the model in the picture was wearing.”
“I didn’t,” she said. “And anyway, I already owned this.”
She reached back and flicked her braid around her shoulder. She had braided her hair, because it had seemed to go with the look. Apparently, her look was a little bit too put together in his estimation.
Not that she cared about his opinion on hiking fashion. It was practical. Plus, she looked cute.
He was dressed in battered old jeans and a white T-shirt. Which looked more delicious than they had a right to.
He should look basic.
But the fact of the matter was a man that was built like Wyatt Dodge didn’t have to work hard to look good. He didn’t have a fashionable bone in his body. She’d enjoyed that Damien had, in the beginning. Mostly because she’d never known a man to take pride in his appearance at all.
She preferred this now. Simple. Real.
A T-shirt and jeans was easy to peel off anyway.
A little zip of attraction worked its way through her body and she flexed her hips slightly, hoping that it wasn’t too noticeable.
“You should be nice to me,” she said, sniffing. “Since you have to spend the entire afternoon wandering around hiking trails with me. You never know what I might do to you. A body is basically half-hidden out here before you even start trying.”
“Baby, you don’t scare me.”
“I don’t?” She eyed him skeptically.
“There are bears out there.”
“Believe me when I tell you, Wyatt Dodge, I can be scarier than any bear.”
“I do believe that.” He bent down and fetched a black cowboy hat and a picnic basket from the bench by the door. When he put it on she nearly swooned.
She was a seriously sad case.
“A picnic basket?” She couldn’t help but question it. It was so weird to see him—that epitome of simple, countrified masculinity—holding on to something so...well, frankly it was kind of frilly.
“Yes,” he said. “I figured I’d pack us up some lunch.”
“I figured you for a Yeti cooler kind of guy,” she said, crossing her arms and treating him to what she hoped passed as a scathing look.
“Oh, don’t you worry. Everything in here is insulated. And I’m definitely a cooler kind of guy normally. But, I do have a lady with me.”
She huffed a laugh. “Does that nonsense normally work?”
“Yes,” Wyatt said. “It works very well, Melinda. As I think you well know, since it worked on you no less than three times yesterday.”
Her lips twitched, and she opened and closed her mouth like a guppy trying to get something out. Something fierce. Something sharp and snarky. Something that would fill his manly soul with terror the likes of which was typically only infused by bears, seeing as she had claimed to be more frightening than one of the great hairy beasts.
But, no such luck.
All she could do was think about the many ways in which his particular brand of hackle-raising charm had worked on her yesterday.
And it had been more than three.
He’d used his hands on her more than once to bring her to satisfaction. And then...talk about staying power. He had it. And all that staying power had produced some very intense responses.
“Shall we?”
“You’re going to carry a picnic basket the whole time?”
“No,” he said, grabbing a utilitarian-looking camouflage backpack off a peg. Then, he carefully turned the picnic basket sideways and stuffed it into the pack before slinging it over his shoulder and clipping it around his waist.
“Okay,” she said, fighting to hold back a laugh. “That seems much more you than a picnic basket.”
“That way the bears don’t know we have a picnic basket.”
“I don’t know,” she said, squinting. “I think Yogi is a little bit better at sniffing out that kind of thing. He might just maul you and pull the pack off.”
He shrugged his shoulders, straightening the pack before walking down the porch steps and leading the way down a finely barked path. “There is one thing you should know about me though, Melinda,” he said, using her given name twice now in the same conversation.
He really did want to be mauled. For that reason alone, she decided to skip scolding him.
“And what one thing should I know?” she asked, following along behind him.
He turned to look at her for a moment, and then he winked. And it made her stomach flip over. Damn him. “I’m really not very good at following rules.”
He continued to walk on ahead of her, the path blazing straight through a field before entering a copse of trees.
“Is that so?”
“It is,” he responded. “A great tragedy in my life. In fact, it might be said that the very idea of rules makes me want to break them.”
She pushed her eyebrows down into a flat line. “Then why did we bother to make rules?”
“It was your idea.” He pushed a tree branch out of the way, and held it for her like it was a door and he was playing the part of a gentleman. She tossed her head and walked past him.
“You were the one that outlined the rules. You were the one that brought binders into it. Binders, Lindy. Into sex. You had to know I was going to push back at that.”
“I know no such thing,” she said. “I’m used to civilized men.”
He cleared his throat, and when he spoke, his tone had lost that light, bantering edge. “Here’s the thing about me, I’m shameless, but I advertise that. It is no secret that I like to skirt the edges of what’s acceptable. I’m not going to make apologies for that. And I’m not going to pretend it’s not true. I’m going to make you this one promise, and because I’m up-front about what I am. So whatever I say to you, you can be sure it’s true.”
“Can I?”
“I have no reason to lie to you. I have no reputation to protect. It’s become clear to me over the past few days that even my siblings think I’m kind of an ass. So yeah, I’ve got nothing to hide. And I have no reason to lie. But as long as you’re with me, you’re the only woman. Count on that.”
That shouldn’t make her feel anything. That was bare minimum, bottom of the barrel stuff. Except... Her husband had made that vow in front of God and everyone. And even though it had been for forever, and not until a barbecue, he had signed a paper. He had made it official. And he still hadn’t stuck to it.
Wyatt was making that promise as easy as anything, with nothing but the trees for witness. But she had a feeling it counted for more.
“Okay,” she said. “I promise I won’t... I won’t take any other lovers during this time either.”
He drew his head back, his laugh like thunder, echoing in the relative silence of the forest. “Is that your fancy way of saying you won’t bang anyone else?”
“Gross,” she said. “That’s a disgusting turn of phrase.”
“Yeah, it is.” He didn’t sound bothered by that at all.
“I was being delicate.”
“And I do appreciate your delicacy, honey.”
He shook his head and walked a few paces in front of her. They lapsed into easy silence, their footsteps on the path the only sound. The bark had thinned out a few paces back, the trail natural, packed dirt now. It was an easy hike, relatively flat, winding through the trees, heading slowly and steadily up the side of a hill.
“Where does this go?”
“Well, the whole trail winds up to the top of Saddle Ridge. But, we won’t go that far. There’s something I want to show you once we get down farther.”
“Are you going to put up signs for visitors?”
“I hadn’t thought of it, but that is a good idea. That way they know which direction which attraction is at. I had some maps made, but I think signs might be good.”
“Our partnership proves valuable yet again,” she said lightly.
Wyatt stopped, turning to face her, his gaze intense. “It’s been valuable. In a great many ways from the beginning. And I’ve certainly enjoyed it.”
She didn’t know why, but those words echoed through her. Made her feel...something.
Wyatt was impressed with her work. She didn’t know why she realized that suddenly and sharply like she did. It had never been anything but obvious that he was. He didn’t seem to care that she was from nothing. He didn’t seem to care that she didn’t have a degree.
He was... Well, he was exactly what he was. Exactly what he claimed to be. Shameless, an intentional pain in the ass. But he...
He seemed to think her ideas were good if they were good. And if he had an issue with one he would tell her so. But, it wasn’t simply to oppose her or prove that he was smarter. It was never to make her feel small.
He had never once acted like she had made the winery a success because of Damien.
Because of her marriage.
Wyatt seemed to believe that she had earned it. He might even believe it more deeply than she did. It was...
It was enough to make her want to cry. She would rather gouge her own eye with a stick than do that in front of him. Or in front of anyone.
She shouldn’t be so needy for something so simple. And yet, years of being made to feel small had done that.
Had made this easy respect that he gave her feel huge.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
He read her way too easily. She didn’t like it.
“Fine. I was lost in the beauty of the wilderness.” She waved a hand. “And things.”
“You don’t seem the type.”
She frowned. “I used to be. You know... Growing up poor there’s not much to do. Not much beyond wandering dirt roads, going to the store to buy forty-nine-cent candy bars and taking them down to the river so that you can swim. When you have nothing, you make entertainment out of what’s already there. We were never going to drive to the city to go to a wave pool or waterslides, but Dane and I had a lot of fun jumping off rocks into a swimming hole. I haven’t done that kind of thing in ages. You grow out of it, don’t you?” She felt a heavy weight settle down over her chest. “Or maybe... Suddenly you have all the money that you want to make your world comfortable and you quit having to imagine ways to make it good. You quit seeing what’s already there because you can just go out and get something new. I don’t know.”
“To a degree I think that’s a hazard of growing up. Growing old. It’s not enough to spend your days...whiling the hours away. You want to do something. Make something.”
“That’s what you’re doing now.”
“Yeah.” He reached up and grabbed a tree branch, pulling it with him a few steps before he released his hold. “You know, I accomplished a lot as a bull rider. I mean, in that world. I went as far as you can go. I made a lot of money. I got a lot of glory. Endorsement deals. I was in a damned ad in a magazine for chewing tobacco. I don’t even dip.”
“How have I not seen that ad?” She was suddenly desperate to get her hands on it. Wyatt in one of those classic cowboy ads.
“None of it felt real. I did it. It’s done. And there’s nothing... It’s not like if I had built a cabin with my bare hands. Then all that work I had done...it would be there. I could show someone. I could... I could take my dad over and I could say look, Dad, I built that. Not such a screwup, am I? But there’s not a cabin. My life is a series of eight-second bursts. From the moment the gate opened, to the moment my boots hit the ground. Eight seconds I can barely remember because the adrenaline flows so hot and fast your brain is like a blank slate after. Eight seconds that built my bank account. My reputation. My life. And then they clean up the arena dirt, pack everything up and move on to the next town. There’s nothing left.”
She had seen him ride. Not often, but a few times. And she’d always held her breath. Her heart pounding in her throat, her hands shaking. She’d told herself it was because she’d met him, and that made it different. That he was Damien’s friend, and it made her feel more.
She didn’t let herself think it was because he was the most beautiful man on earth. That just looking at him in general made her shake, never mind watching him get on the back of a bull, risking all that vitality.
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” she said softly.
“I know,” he said. “But at my age... It just feels gone. The only thing it left behind was damned aching joints. I’m thirty-six, but flinging myself around on the back of an animal like that makes me feel a hell of a lot older. When I was starting out I didn’t expect to be done by now, but it was time. It’s a lot of things, you know. A lot of things that build up, and then sometimes...sometimes one more thing gets added and it makes a moment. A moment when you know you’re done. You ever had that?”
She purposefully stepped on one rock in the path, feeling it dent into the sole of her shoe. Then she stepped on another. And another. “I was married to Damien for ten years and it wasn’t perfect. There were a lot of things. Our marriage certainly didn’t fall apart solely because he cheated on me. A marriage has to get bad in a lot of other ways before that can happen.” She swallowed, blinking hard, staring at the sunlight filtering through the trees, blaming the light for her watering eyes. “I don’t think I was a good wife, Wyatt. He was gone a lot, and I didn’t mind. I enjoyed the free time. I started to enjoy the life he gave me more than I enjoyed his company. I loved him. Don’t mistake me. But there were problems. I... I wanted a baby.” Her voice became thick, husky. “I wanted a family. And he didn’t want one. At least, not then. Never right then. There was always something. His career. The winery. Something. All that builds up. It became resentment. I wasn’t happy. But the moment I knew it was over. The moment I knew I wasn’t even going to try to save it anymore... It was the moment I found out he was sleeping with Sarabeth. When I caught them kissing each other in the wine cellar.” She cleared her throat, her body crawling with revulsion even while she thought of it now. Not so much because it hurt her anymore, but because she could so easily remember how it had felt. “I’m not even sure if I was heartbroken. Or even all that wounded. I felt so...so stupid. And I’d had enough feeling stupid.” She tried to breathe past the thickness in her chest. “What was your moment?”
There was a heavy silence between them.
“My dad called me,” he said. “He said that he had to make a decision about Get Out of Dodge. That it was going to go to me and my siblings or he was going to sell it and give us the money. He said it was up to me. What I chose to do. Because I’m the oldest, and inheritance or some such. He said that it was now or never, and if I wasn’t ready to give it a real try he would just as soon sell the place. Because he wasn’t going to watch me half ass the commitment. And that was when it hit me, that no matter how much work I’d done, no matter how much success I’d achieved in the past near twenty years, it was going to seem half-assed to him. Because he doesn’t understand the rodeo. He sure as hell doesn’t understand posing for tobacco ads. He doesn’t understand anything that isn’t working the land, and then at the same time he doesn’t even want us to do it. He doesn’t think I can make it work. He expected to throw down that challenge and have me walk away from it. And knowing that is what made me pick it up. Is what made me want to do it. I knew I was coming to the end of my career. I’d already won the championship five years earlier. I wasn’t going to be getting any better. It doesn’t work like that in sports that break your body down. You get worse until you wish you had retired while you are on top. And I wasn’t on top anymore, but I wasn’t Michael Jordan playing baseball either.”
She fought the urge to reach out and pat him. She didn’t suppose men liked to be patted when they were talking about their mortality. “Well, I’m glad you were spared that particular indignity.”
“Yeah, you’ve got to get out before it gets to that.”
The path narrowed, the trail winding upward before it sloped back down. It was rockier here, less tamed. It pitched sharply downward and she found herself jogging slightly to keep up with Wyatt. She hopped from a rock down to the bottom of the hill, laughing as she did. Wyatt turned to her and smiled, his whole face lit up.
“You love this,” she said, taking three strides to his every one, trying to keep up. “Don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he said, taking a sharp breath. “I do.”
“So you’re doing it to prove to your dad that you can. But you want this too, don’t you? Because if you didn’t... It’s a pretty big commitment just to prove a point.”
“It’s not only to prove a point,” he said. “Like I said, I want to build something. To make something. To make an impact that isn’t...a bad one.” He turned and grinned sheepishly at that last part.
“I have a hard time believing you’ve ever made a bad impact on anyone, Wyatt. You might be kind of a pain in the butt, but you’re really a good guy.”
“Says the woman I gave six orgasms yesterday. Honestly, I think you’re just feeling sweet on me because I’m good in the sack.”
“I’m not that easy,” she said.
“True. You made me wait quite a while to have you.”
“I made myself wait quite a while to have you,” she grumbled.
“Did you?” He sounded wholly interested in that.
“This doesn’t need to be a whole discussion,” she said, shooting him a beady eye.
“I think it does. How long?”
“Stop it. I’m going to take back all the nice things I said.”
“And as wounding as that would be, now I want to hear the rest of the story.”
“I wanted you since before it was appropriate. How about that?”
She shocked herself with the easy admission. With the fact that she had gone ahead and copped to it.
“What does that mean?” he pressed.
“You know,” she griped.
“Melinda,” he said, stopping in the middle of the path. “I’m going to need you to be more specific.”
“And I’m going to need you to quit calling me Melinda.”
“Why?”
She snorted and held her hand up. “One invasive question at a time.”
“Okay. I want the answer to the first one. Because it’s about me.”
He was teasing, but she couldn’t tease about this. It was too raw and still achingly real all these years later. It was a moment that had upended her life in small ways that no one else had ever seen. Something she’d never shared with anyone, because how could she?
“You have to know,” she said softly, taking a step toward him, the forest seeming to close in around them, the silence almost oppressive.
“I don’t,” he said, his voice getting rough.
“Since I first saw you.” She swallowed hard. “Maybe you don’t remember the first time we—”
“I remember.” He cut her off, his voice rough. “I remember the first time I saw you.”
The air seemed to get thick between them. With tension. With meaning. The admission was shocking, and somehow not surprising at all. As if she had known.
“I’d never felt anything like it before,” she said, reaching out and touching his cheek, his stubble scraping her fingertips as she dragged them down to the center of his chin, before pulling her hand away quickly. Like she had stuck it in a fire.
“Same goes, honey.”
She cleared her throat. “So. Anyway.”
“Lindy...”
She cleared her throat. “So, what were you going to show me?”
Wyatt shook his head, as if he had thought better about continuing on the current line of conversation. And she was just coward enough to be relieved.
“Right up ahead,” he said.
She could hear the river again, and they were moving closer to it. The sound of water crashing on rocks grew louder with each step.
The path went down, then up again, winding through two massive boulders before opening up to a rushing river. There was a sheer rock wall across from them, trees seeming to grow from the side, reaching up toward the sky. She looked down the river, where the water made a sharp trip down a cliff, forming massive, white waterfalls.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Wishing Well Falls.”
“I had no idea it was back here.”
“It’s on private property,” he said. “Dodge property. And, other than the hikes for guests at the ranch years ago... I don’t know how publicized it is. Do you think that this would be a good hike to take people on? We could serve up some Grassroots Wine and have a nice little picnic.”
“Yes,” she said, looking around. “It’s perfect.”
“I think so.”
“Why is it called Wishing Well Falls?”
“Because of the wishing well,” he said. “Down there.”
She craned her neck to look past the waterfall, but all she saw was a surge of white-water mist rising up from below.
“Come on,” he said, grabbing hold of her hand and leading her down a narrower part of the trail that went straight down alongside the river. Pebbles tumbled down past them, the dirt loose beneath their feet, but Wyatt held her fast, making sure that she didn’t slip and fall.
“This is beautiful,” she said, breathless, as soon as they reached the bottom. It was cooler down here, beneath the cover of surrounding pine trees, the earth around them soft and fragrant. Pine mingled with the sharp, fresh smell of cold water and the earthy scent of the dirt.
The swimming hole at the end of the waterfall was vast and deep. The water churned where the falls let in, but beyond that it was calm and clear, round rocks worn smooth covering the bottom.
“It does kind of look like a wishing well,” she said.
“Yeah, I always thought it did.”
“Have you made many wishes here?”
“Can’t say as I have. But I don’t want to go throwing any money into it. Still, I’m betting that I could appease the gods with an offer of a decent stone.” He bent down and selected a flat, smooth rock from the shore. Then he closed his eyes, and she couldn’t help but watch.
His strong profile, the set of his square jaw... He was an intensely beautiful man, though that wasn’t the first thing that came to mind when she looked at him because he was so masculine, so very hard. Scarred and weathered from years of hard work and hard living.
In spite of it all, he was beautiful. Or maybe because of it.
He cocked back his wrist, and flung the rock down into the water, his lips moving slightly as he did.
“What did you wish for?” she asked.
“Can’t tell you,” he said, his face gravely serious. “You know that’s not how wishes work.”
“That’s not fair,” she huffed. “That’s a tease.”
“Maybe I’m a tease.” He grinned. “I’ll tell you what. Kiss me, and I might give you a hint.”
She sighed, but then she stretched up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his mouth.
He took advantage. He angled his head and parted her lips with his tongue, stroking down her spine, down to her butt, while he held her tightly against his body. When they parted, they were both breathing hard.
How was it possible that she just...kissed him now sometimes?
It shouldn’t be possible.
“Okay,” she said, trying to disguise how affected she was. “What did you wish for?”
“I wished that you would kiss me,” he said, that devil’s grin curving his mouth upward. “I guess it worked.”
She slapped his shoulder. “Wyatt Dodge.”
He held his hands up. “Hey, sometimes I think we have to make our own wishes come true, don’t you?”
“That is not how wishing wells work.”
“I got my kiss either way, baby, I don’t much care.”
“You have no sense of magic.” She waved a hand at him. “Or whimsy.”
His dark brows shot upward. “You don’t think I’m whimsical?”
“Not in the least.”
He shook his head. “I would be happy to disabuse you of that notion. Why don’t you come for a swim with me?”
“I don’t... I don’t have anything to swim in,” she protested.
“You don’t need anything to swim in. Skinny-dipping. How’s that for being whimsical?”
“I am not skinny-dipping,” she said, crossing her arms and turning away from him slightly. “I know I have trailer park roots, but I do not skinny-dip.”
“Did you ever?”
“No,” she said crisply. “I never have. I never will.”
“Suit yourself.” Wyatt unclipped his backpack and deposited it on the ground, then stripped his shirt off, followed by his belt, shucking his jeans and underwear so quickly that Lindy didn’t even have time to protest.
But then...why would she protest a man like him getting naked?
Even out here. Even where she wouldn’t.
He turned away from her and headed toward the water, the muscles in his back flexing with each movement. Also, the muscles in his ass. Well. Indeed.
“I’m going to sit here with the sandwiches,” she called out, scurrying to his backpack and retrieving the picnic basket.
“Good,” he returned. “The sandwiches need your protection. Since you’re meaner than a bear.”
“If you pick a fight with me I will...”
“What? You said yourself, you’re not coming in. So, I’m safe. I can say whatever I want.” He turned around and slowly slid into the water, his breath hissing through his teeth.
“Cold?” she asked sweetly.
“I’m fine.”
“I’m not sure about that.” She retrieved a peanut butter sandwich from the basket and shook her head. Peanut butter. “I’m betting you’re shrunken.”
“Babe, I’m looking at you. Nothing is shrunken.”
“That is the crassest compliment I have ever been paid,” she said, around a mouthful of sandwich.
“That’s me,” he said, spreading his arms wide as he kicked his feet and swam across the swimming hole. “Wyatt Dodge, giver of crass compliments.”
She watched as he swam a circle, and she felt...she almost wished she could. But she couldn’t imagine stripping off all her clothes in the broad light of day where anybody might walk up on them. Sure, it was private property, but Wyatt had a zillion siblings, and people were forever traipsing over the place. She just...couldn’t.
The idea of being caught skinny-dipping...
She tugged her knees up to her chest and enjoyed her view, keeping her seat until Wyatt popped back up onto the shore.
He took his T-shirt and toweled himself off with it, and then pulled his underwear and pants back on.
She sighed heavily when he covered his body, but remained fairly pleased when he kept his shirt off. Then he sat down next to her and began to unpack lunch.
“I was thinking,” he said.
“Oh no.” She schooled her face into an expression of mock horror.
“Yeah, didn’t you see the smoke coming from my ears?”
She laughed, taking a big bite of her sandwich. “Can’t say that I did. But, that’s because you’re a very smart man. And I don’t think that it’s a trial for you to come up with ideas.”
“I’m inventive when it comes to certain...physical activities that’s for sure.”
His tone left no room for speculation on what he meant by that. She blushed. “What have you been thinking about?”
“Well, I was thinking that maybe we should do a trial run for the barbecue.”
“A trial run?”
“Yeah. You know, test the food and all that.”
“I think...” She smiled. “I think it’s a great idea. And good opportunity to give my staff a break from my manic craziness and give them something fun to do.”
“Great,” he said. “It will also give my people a chance to make sure we got this running smoothly.”
“I’m all for that.”
“I didn’t expect you to agree so readily.”
She frowned. “Why not? I’m very easygoing.”
“You are. It’s true. As long as all the decisions are yours.”
She picked off a small piece of bread and flung it at him.
“Excuse me,” he said, leaning forward and catching her wrist. “Do not waste bread.”
She batted her eyes. “I’m feeding the birds.”
He stared at her, his dark eyes glittering. She looked down and noticed a droplet of water sliding down his chest.
Without thinking she leaned forward, caught the drop with the tip of her tongue and licked him.
He shuddered, and when she looked back up at him he pulled her in, kissing her, deep and hard. She wrapped her arms around him, her hand skimming down his back. She let her sandwich drop to the ground as he angled his head and worked on devouring her instead of lunch.
“Wyatt,” she gasped, letting her head fall back as he kissed down her neck. “We should...we should not.”
“I think we should.”
The intimacy of the moment was shattered. She felt one of those brick walls slam down between them. The distance returning.
She didn’t want to be exposed like that. Not to him or to anyone. If they got caught people would know. If she dropped her control and simply let this happen...
“I’m not...skinny-dipping... And that means that I am damn well not...having sex with you out on some rocks.”
“Okay,” he said, moving back from her. “But the rocks are the only compelling part of that argument. Your maidenly modesty is not.”
She shook her head. “You’re shameless.”
“Admit it,” he said. “I wouldn’t be half as much fun if I wasn’t.”
He wouldn’t be. And she wouldn’t be having half as much fun. She hardly knew who she was when she was with him. It was a strange and wonderful vacation from her regular life.
“Okay. When are we going to have this barbecue?”
“How about this weekend?”
“I’ll be there,” she said.
“You should spend the night in one of the cabins.” A lopsided grin tipped his lips upward.
She hesitated. “Maybe.”
“Maybe I’ll come for a sleepover.”
“You can’t do that!” Her heart lurched, her stomach turning over. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it. She did. It was only that...
If it happened naturally then she could blame the heat of the moment. And if it happened when no one else was around, no one would have to know.
This was something else. Planned and dangerously intimate somehow. She was allergic to intimacy. Nothing with Wyatt should feel intimate at all. Ever. Sex wasn’t supposed to be. At least, that was the plan.
“Just a quality check,” he teased. “Turndown service.”
“You’ll get caught,” she pointed out.
He shook his head. “No I won’t.”
“You think you’re bulletproof, Wyatt Dodge,” she said, exasperated.
She knew she wasn’t. Fine for him to be cavalier.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he responded, his voice rough.
She pressed her hand to his heart, felt it pounding beneath her fingertips. “You feel pretty sturdy to me. I’m betting nothing can touch that.”
He didn’t say anything. He simply looked at her, his dark eyes completely unreadable. “Why would you? When you could touch this,” he said, smiling and grabbing hold of her wrist, making like he was going to drag her hands down to the front of his pants.
She laughed, not because it was funny, but because there was so much tension inside of her and she needed to do something to break it. Because laughing was what a woman who could do casual would do. He didn’t put her hand over his arousal, though. Instead he lifted it to his lips and kissed her palm.
She would agree to the sleepover idea. And she wouldn’t be stressed-out about it. Or scared. Because she could do casual.
“Ready to get back?”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
“You better pick up your sandwich,” he said, vaguely scolding.
“The animals will eat it.”
“What if they have a peanut allergy?”
She rolled her eyes but bent down to get the sandwich. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Conscientious.”
He put his shirt back on, then his hat, followed by his pack. And then she stuffed the basket back inside. He turned and looked at her, an expression she still couldn’t read. Something had changed. Between them. Inside of herself... She didn’t know.
She felt...lighter and heavier at the same time. She wanted something. Maybe just to be different.
To be the person who would have skinny-dipped with him. Who would have made love to him by the river.
But she wasn’t.
Her decision. No one else’s.
She had a lot of time to ponder why she hated her decisions so very much on their walk back to the ranch.