Chapter Nine
“Whoa! Ease up, killer.” Tom Greene released the heavy bag and stepped back, breathing hard.
Charli shook out her arms and shoulders and paced back and forth in front of the heavy bag. They were near the end of a two-hour workout and she hadn’t expended half of her pent-up energy and frustration.
Her date with Grady had left her with a week of sleepless nights, followed by a month of wondering what the hell had happened and about to the point of beating herself up for coming on too strong. She hadn’t heard anything from Grady since he left her house that night they went to the Honky Tonk and wasn’t about to be the one to initiate contact.
Had she misread him completely, and he wasn’t interested, or he was playing some kind of game? She didn’t know and it was driving her nuts. So, she channeled that frustrating into physical things.
She and Tom had been working out together for the last five months. Every Saturday morning they met at the gym, worked out for a couple of hours, sparred with some of the locals if anyone showed up, and finished the morning with breakfast at the diner.
Charli loved her Saturday mornings at the gym. She worked out on her own every day but Saturdays were special, and Tom was one hell of a taskmaster. He pushed her to do more and do better. She liked that.
It was a shame she and Tom didn’t have any chemistry between them, but they were meant to be exactly what they were. Friends who knew the other would have their back if needed.
“Looks like no one’s gonna show up to spar,” he commented.
“We can spar.” She gave him a grin.
“Not gonna happen, killer. I got a date with an engine and then a date with blonde.”
“Ingrid Stalwealther from the boutique?”
“How’d you know?”
“Eyes in my head, bro. You and she have been flirting for the last month. I wondered when you were gonna break down and ask her out.”
Tom grinned. “So, you mind skipping breakfast? Jimmy got in a carb for that ‘58 Chevy we’re putting back together and I want to put in some time on the car today before I head home and get the yard mowed and house cleaned.”
“You need to hire a housekeeper and yard guy.”
“Not happening. I’m a DIY kinda guy.”
Charli laughed. “Indeed you are. Okay, bolt, dude. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“You’re on the roster for tomorrow, right?”
“Yep. And you’re off, so keep that gal up late and sleep in tomorrow.”
Tom grinned and gave her a thumbs-up, then jerked his head up and to one side. “Looks like you might have a sparring partner after all. See you on Monday, Charli.”
“Yep. Have a good one.” She turned and frowned. Grady Judd walked toward her, with a gym bag in one hand and a pair of gloves looped over his shoulder.
“You looking for a sparring partner, hot stuff?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, then this is your lucky day.”
“Is that so?” She walked over to the ring.
“It is. Unless you don’t fight men.”
“Honey, when you’re my size, it’s hard to fight anything else.”
“Good point.” He climbed into the ring and started loosening up.
Charli watched, doing a bit a stretching herself.
“Miss me?” Grady asked.
“You been gone?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, but you never noticed, right?”
She gave a slight shrug. “Been busy.”
He rolled his head, then his shoulders and smiled. “You ready?”
“Born that way.”
Less than a minute later, she was feeling far less confident. Grady was bigger, stronger, and lightning fast. She needed to find an advantage, something she could use to get him off balance.
It came to her. She stripped off the tank top she wore over the sports bra. The bra was wet with sweat and therefore slightly transparent.
Grady grinned. “Low, Charli, so low. Trying to play the sex card.”
“Trying?” She gave a pointed look in the direction of his crotch. “Come on, big guy, show me what you got.”
“Oh, I’ll show you.”
Charli wouldn’t have admitted it, but a thrill shot through her at the undisguised hunger in his voice and the look on his face. She then cursed that thrill for the time it cost her. She had barely enough time to throw a block and deflect his punch. As it was, her arm vibrated from the impact and he was pressing forward on her.
Damn. It was all Charli could do to avoid his fists and feet or block them. He left her no openings at all for attack. Which meant all she could hope for was to outlast him. Maybe he’d tire from the attack and leave an opening.
She hoped, but didn’t believe it would happen. Grady wasn’t your average “spar-at-gym” for shits and giggles kind of guy. She’d seen men fight the way he did and there weren’t many of them. They were focused and they were lethal.
Charli called on every bit of training she’d ever had and the tense minutes passed with only the sounds of their breath and the hiss of air from the movements to break the silence. The warrior within was in awe of his skills and strength. The woman inside was making it difficult for her to focus.
He was incredible, all primal male. His muscles bunched and lengthened with his strikes and the air sizzled from the speed of his blows. Watching him woke something inside her that had been dormant her entire life, the desire of a woman who longed to be bested by an alpha.
Damn, but she wanted him to be strong enough to beat her. Maybe he was, but the only way she’d know is if she was all in. To hell with defense. It was time to fight. Wiping all other thoughts from her mind, she exploded into attack mode.
Grady sensed a change at almost the same moment she launched her offensive. And at that same moment, he became aware of something else. Her arousal. He could smell her. The scent enveloped him, making him burn for her. The challenge he found in her attack woke something else he kept in check. The need to beat her. Not hurt, but beat. He wanted to conquer her and then take her, dominate her completely.
He knew without being told that it was what Charli wanted as well. She’d never submit to a man. She would dominate and take what she wanted unless a man was strong enough to turn the tables on her and if he was, Grady was willing to bet that she’d be the dream every man sought.
Damn. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He wasn’t supposed to want this. But he did. He was determined to be that man. So, he upped the game, deflected her salvo, and countered in a way she didn’t expect. He used judo moves, forcing the fight to be waged up close. That way his superior strength was an advantage.
Grady grabbed her arm and twisted up as he turned so that he ended up behind her with her arm bent up against her back, hips pressing backward to relieve the pressure. The higher he pulled her wrist the more she bent forward and the more her firm ass pressed against him.
A grin split his face. He had her. Or so he thought until her free hand reached back and wrapped around the back of his head. He realized his folly as she displayed superior skill and leverage and effectively flipped him over her shoulder.
Grady cursed, hit the floor and rolled, then came up scissoring his legs to catch her ankle and send her sailing. He was on her the second she hit the floor. They rolled over and over, each of them trying to gain the advantage and pin the other.
It was exhilarating and the single most erotic moment he’d ever shared with a woman. Every breath, every slide of skin was electric. Grady thickened to full erection. He saw her eyes widen at the realization and he pressed the advantage of the moment, rolled her over onto her back and pinned her hands to the floor as he straddled her body.
“Get off me,” she rasped in a hoarse tone.
“Or what?”
“Or show me that the main event lives up to the foreplay.”
He’d damn sure love to do that very thing. But not here, so he stood and offered her a hand. Charli let him pull her to her feet and for a few moments they just stood there, looking at one another.
“Where were you? Where did you go?” She asked and for the first time he saw something that surprised him. The wall was down. What he was seeing was Charli unmasked.
“I’ll tell you, but not here.”
“Then where?”
“Your place.”
“When?”
“I’ll be there before six.”
“Will you?”
“I will.”
“Okay, until then.”
With that, she turned, climbed out of the ring, grabbed her bag from a bench along the wall, and left. Grady watched her go, wondering why in the world he’d promised to tell her where he’d been and whether it wouldn’t be smarter to stand her up.
Smarter for whom was the real question, though. Was he protecting Charli or himself?
*****
Charli sat on the front porch swing, feeling the breeze from the ceiling fan stir the hot air. She didn’t know whether to believe Grady or not. Would he show up? She hoped so. Today she’d realized something about herself that was exhilarating and terrifying. She’d been with the wrong men her entire life.
She could see it so clearly now. She’d chosen men she knew she could dominate because she’d never fall in love with one of them, never have her heart ripped out by one, and always be able to walk away with no remorse. It was just sex. No emotions involved.
Charli was as bad as all the men she’d heard women complain about. Just in it for the sex then, wham, bam, thank-you, ma’am, out the door.
Grady stripped away the shield she’d been hiding behind, laid her bare to her own desires and weaknesses. She secretly longed for a man who could best her, someone stronger and faster. A hero who would run to her rescue and a man strong enough to tell her when she was wrong and stand up to her temper when she flew off the handle.
She wanted a man she could admire and respect, a man who made her want to rip his clothes off with just a smile or word, and one whose smile was like the sun emerging from behind a dark cloud.
Damn it all, she wanted to let herself love and Grady was pushing all her buttons, which scared the holy hell out of her. She wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to deal with it. Maybe now was one of those times to do like she’d been trained. Wait, watch, and look for the moment she was supposed to act.
She sure as heck hoped that was the right strategy because she was on as alien ground as she’d ever walked.
Dust in the distance told her that someone had turned off the paved road. It wasn’t long before his truck came into view. She stood and walked over to the top of the steps to wait.
He parked and walked up to the steps, stopping once again a rung below her so they were eye to eye.
“I didn’t know if you’d show up,” she admitted.
“I said I would.”
“And you’re a man of your word.”
“I try to be.”
“That’s good to know. Did you want to take that swim?”
“I do.”
“Then I need to get changed into my suit.”
“You won’t need one.”
“I won’t.”
“No. But we could probably use some towels.”
Charli pointed to a chair on the porch where she’d put towels. Grady grinned, stepped up to grab the towels, and then offered her his hand. She took it and together they started for the lake shore which was basically at the edge of the front yard.
Grady tossed the towels on the ground, sat down, and pulled off his boots and socks. Charli sat beside him, watching as he took off his hat and peeled off his T-shirt.
“So how long have you been in law enforcement?” he asked.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Six months?”
“Really? You weren’t a cop before you came here?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, well…”
“What is it you really want to know, Grady?”
He gave her a smile. “Okay, fine, let’s cut to the chase. Kyle said you were an Operator.”
“Oh? Now why would he tell you something like that, I wonder?”
“He’s a friend.”
“Or a bird of the same feather.”
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. I see how you scope out a room, or a parking lot. How your eyes sneak a look at the top of buildings and to the perimeters. It’s a giveaway that most people wouldn’t notice. You’re very good, to all appearances a good ol’ boy from West Texas. But that’s not the whole of it, is it, Grady? Hell, sparring with you told me real clearly that you’re a pro.”
The look he gave her spelled his displeasure at her turning it around and making it about him. “So you were Special Ops,” he said.
“I didn’t say that.”
“I’ve got eyes too, Charli, and even if I didn’t, only an Operator would notice the behavior common to Special Ops personnel.”
Charli shrugged. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss her military career with Grady. She didn’t care if he was Special Ops. She’d walked away from all that and tried her best to not think about it, even when it called to her like a fucking siren from the deep, trying to pull her back into those hellish waters she loved but had to stay free of or lose what was left of her soul.
“All of us have ghosts.” His voice was soft and filled with compassion, but that was not the surprise. Her shock came from him virtually admitting her suspicions about him were true.
“Some worse than others and it’s not something I want to talk about.”
“Then we won’t. Can I ask if you’re really out?”
“I am.”
“For how long?”
“Six months, twelve days, and ten hours or so.”
“And you came straight here?”
“Pretty much. A friend put in a word for me with Tom, who has a soft spot for military personnel since he’s a Marine.”
“Kyle?”
“Yep.”
“How’d you and Kyle meet?”
“I was the one they sent in to get him when he lost it.”
“You were the one who brought him in?”
“I was.”
“He was a good Operator.”
“Yes. And a good man.”
“How long did it take you to track him down?”
“Two months.”
“And after you did?”
“Took another month to get close enough to drug him and get on a transport back home.”
“Bet he was pissed when he woke up.”
“Enough to break my collarbone, two ribs and stab me before he realized I was a woman and then he really lost his shit.”
“As in, he got more violent?”
“No, as in he finally lost it over the woman and child that were killed. For four days he cried and stared into nothingness and didn’t speak a word. But I sat with him, held him when he cried, fought with him when he wanted to hurt someone, and starved with him when he wouldn’t eat. And when dawn came on the fifth day, he told me I should go and that he owed me.
“We’ve been family ever since and he was there when I needed him.”
Grady nodded. “I hear you.”
“That’s confidential intel and not to be shared, you feel me?”
“I do.”
“Then enough said about that?” She looked at him.
“Enough said.”
She stood, peeled off her clothes, ran into the water, and dived. When she surfaced, she looked around. There was no sign of Grady, but there was a pile of clothes on the ground. He rose silently behind her. She wouldn’t have known he was there had he not kissed her on the top of her shoulder. Charli turned to face him.
“SEAL Team Two,” he said softly, with no trace at all of the good ol’ Texas boy in his speech.
Charli was not really surprised, but was a whole lot impressed. “Why aren’t you with your team?”
“I need space in between missions.”
“Don’t they need you?”
“Maybe. I spend the first week near them and then I head here.”
“Because there’s big sky and lots of air to breath?”
“Yes.”
She nodded and looked up at the sky. “This is a good place to breathe.”
“Yeah.” He pulled her to him and as she wound her legs around his waist, he held her loosely with his hand on her hips. “I heard from Tom and a couple of the guys at the oil site what you did there, when those roustabouts took hostages.”
“I just did my job.”
“Yep, but I heard it from the hostages. You didn’t behave like a policeman, did you?”
“Didn’t I? Wasn’t the job to get the hostages out safe and unharmed?”
“Yeah, it was.
“Then I did what I’m paid to do.”
“You miss it.”
Charli stiffened at those words and turned her head away. For a long time, there was silence.
“You miss the rush, the danger, the fear—all of it.”
She could have lied and was sorely tempted, but Grady wasn’t a civilian who couldn’t understand. He was part of the most elite team of warriors the country had ever produced and one of the few people in the world who understood, at least in part.
“Yes.” She returned her gaze to him. “God help me, I do.”
“Then why not go back?”
“Because I’m cursed.”
“Cursed? What does that—“
“Look, I like you, Grady—no, that’s not true. I don’t know if I really like you, because I don’t really know you. But I respect you, hell, I’m in awe of you because I know what it takes to become what you are. And I want you so much it’s like a physical ache inside me. I’ve trusted you with who and what I am, but beyond that there’s little left to say.
“Yes. I admit it. I want to go back so bad it’s like trying to beat an addiction, but it’s my addiction and I’ll learn how to kick it and how to live with my demons. And I’ll do it in the only way I know.
“But right now, here we are, alone and naked with no one to interrupt or interfere, so if you want to fuck, then let’s get down to it. If you’re man enough to take me, then I promise it’ll be one for the record books. But if you’re looking for another woman to seduce so she’ll fall in love with you and weep when you walk away, then look in another direction because that’s not me. I don’t have any love to give.”
She saw the change in his eyes and didn’t react fast enough before he had hold of her, his hands clamped on either side of her face and his gaze pinned to hers. “You think you’re the only one with demons, Charli? You know better. We all have them and we all hope we can outlast them or outrun them. We do what we do because someone has to, because if we don’t people die—innocent people. So we’re the monsters in the night, the fear that makes people lock their doors and shutter their windows.
“We’re the Angels of Death and we’re the Wings of Freedom all rolled together in a fucked-up blend that not even we understand. So, yeah, I get that you have demons and I get that you need to beat them your own way.
“I’m not asking for or even looking for love, but I’m not going to be your fuck toy either. I want you and you know it, but I’m not gonna rape you or fight you for it and I’m not gonna let you use me like a dildo, and right that seems to be the only kind of sex you can handle. So, I’ll wait and maybe before I disappear back down the rabbit hole, you’ll be ready.”
“For what?”
“You know.”
“I’ll never submit, Grady.” God knows she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know how.
“You will. And it’ll set you free. Charli. Trust me on that.”
“Not going to happen.” He’d either take what he wanted from her or there would be nothing because she couldn’t willingly cede control.
“We’ll see. And it’s time for me to go, sugar. Thanks for one hell of an interesting ten minutes.”
“In other words, fuck off, right?”
“Not even close, baby. This game just got interesting.”
With that, he kissed her hard on the mouth, released her, and waded to shore where he dressed and then walked away.
Charli watched him leave and then dived into the water, feeling the coolness sooth her hot flesh. If only something could soothe her soul.