They say I died. Multiple times. On the table. In my room. I died.

I didn’t see the light.

I didn’t feel the overwhelming acceptance.

For so long, I was in a black pit of nothingness that left a huge chunk of my life missing. Losing a kidney was the least of my problems. For Meadow, hell, any of the girls, I’d do it all over again. They were innocent pawns in a game they never prepared for, and if I happen to be a casualty in their rescues, I’m okay with it.

When the Adair’s accepted me into their fold, even as just a grunt man after I’d gotten out of jail seven years ago, I knew this was where I was supposed to be. With them is where I would find my purpose in life.

I never had much before. I went from being a foster kid to being kicked out on the streets at eighteen and straight into a new kind of system. A more corrupt sort of hell.

I killed a man in self-defense and paid the price. My only saving grace was that I didn’t have a juvenile record, so they were lenient on my sentencing. Instead of spending fifteen plus years behind bars, I was released early. It wasn’t long after that that I was recruited.

The clan had no idea who I was until I spoke up when Lil went missing, and that woman has been a pain in my damn ass ever since. But when I’m with her, I know I’m trusted. I’m part of the family.

When Dimitri became a part of the group, I fucking hated him. He was a Fed, on the same side as the bastards that had arrested me. I didn’t expect to feel something for him. To enjoy his gaze as it bore into me so intensely that I felt it to my soul.

As time passed, our bond strengthened, and soon we became inseparable. We’ve had this connection I can’t explain. We haven’t spoken of it; I don’t think he’s even acknowledged it. And now, we’re on a fucking plane to goddamned Russia for some girl.

Danika Vashchenko.

Her name is familiar to my subconscious. I have visions of a soft voice in my ear, whispering, assuring me that everything would be fine. I dream of soft hands playing with my hair, cleansing my body.

“You’re thinking of her, again, aren’t you?” Dimitri mutters beside me. With a plane full of people, we only whisper.

“Can’t get her out of my head.” I can still picture the tears of relief in D’s stare when my eyes popped open a few weeks ago. He was fucking pissed at me, but I remember the last words I heard before I awoke.

I love you, but we need more.

More?

What the fuck does that even mean?

Dimitri has a commanding presence I’ve always yielded to. Not because he wants to control me, but there’s just something there simmering between us, and I’m not sure I can explain it let alone comprehend it.

There’s tension between us, some of it sexual, but I don’t get that stirring for him that I do when I think of Danika. A woman I haven’t met yet.

“Did Vashchenko say who we’re dealing with?” I’m still fuzzy on the details. I’m not one hundred percent myself yet, and I’m worried I’ll be more of a liability than a help.

“The Haggen family. They’re Viktor’s counterparts in the European crime world.” Dimitri hands me a file, and from the moment I open it, I can see they relish in genocide. Entire families have been wiped out for not acquiescing to their commands.

“Fuck.” It makes me sick to think they have her. “He’s sure she hasn’t just disconnected?” King was insistent that she left because she thought I’d died. Dimitri had kicked her out of my room moments before I coded the last time, and no one thought to find her afterwards. No one knew she’d stayed to listen.

We watched the hospital’s security tape, and I’d seen her dismay, her pain as she ran away.

“Vik says she wouldn’t do that. Not after the way she grew up.” Dimitri’s eyes are glued to her picture. With her long dark brown hair, big chocolate eyes, and regal facial structure, she could be a fucking Russian princess.

Within her family, I suppose she is.

“There’s more you’re not telling me, D.” I know he’s hiding something, and I don’t like it.

Fuck. I thought I was hiding it well. Keeping secrets isn’t something we’ve done before. Not like this one. But the more I think about Carver’s words, the more I know it to be true. Daniel and I, we’re meant to be, and if I’m right, Nika is meant to be ours, too. I just haven’t told Danny-boy.

I know he has feelings towards the girl, but he hasn’t wrapped his head around it yet, and I want him to be the one to figure it all out on his own. I know the kid. I know what he’s thinking before he does half the time.

“Not hiding anything from you, kid.” I look away from him because having him so close and not touching him is nearly fucking killing me.

“Yeah, you are,” he counters. “You only call me kid when you’re deflecting.” Perceptive bastard.

With six hours left before we land in Russia and night falling, I have no interest in arguing with him. “We’ll talk at the hotel.” He glares but says nothing more.

Leaning my chair back, I close my eyes. I know I won’t sleep, but it’ll get me out of his line of questioning.

Like usual, I’m tossed back to that day. The day he died. When she left. When my life felt like it was falling apart.

Danika left.

Danny-boy was dead.

My world cracked wide fucking open, and I was left floundering.

The stuttering of the beeps as the doctors gave up. When I pleaded with Daniel to wake up as I confessed my feelings to him. It dropped me to my knees.

I’ll never forget when his eyes opened, and his bleary stare met mine. The shock of what I must have looked like reflected back at me as the doctors struggled to accept what was happening.

Daniel was alive.

He came back.

And I’m still left wondering if he knows what I said.

I love you, but we need more.

The words replay in my head every night, every hour, every second of every fucking day. They’re there. Always there.

The only thing I don’t know is if he feels the same way. If he ever could.