God…Matteo was so damn good-looking it almost hurt to look at him. Those dark eyes that normally held his emotions and secrets in check had been nothing but open and full of heat and longing and need since he’d returned.

All week long, she’d fought an inner battle to give in to her long-suppressed feelings for him again, while the survivor in her said hell no, not again.

But it was getting tougher to resist every day. Especially when he looked at her like she was his everything—the look she’d fantasized about seeing for years—the one he gave her right now.

Damn. A tremor shivered down her spine. He made it so hard to look away.

So she didn’t.

“You okay?” She helped him out of his coat without asking, and set it on the back of a chair.

The way he’d sat in his car, staring at his house for the past fifteen minutes, cracked her heart wide open. She tried to force herself to stop watching him, but nothing made her move. Not until he’d gotten out and walked to her. Sought her out. He came to her. Not the other way around, as it had been in the past.

He wanted her. Needed her.

Her stomach fluttered at the thought. But she wasn’t sure that was a good idea, nor was she thinking straight, so she didn’t exactly trust her thoughts.

She was just going to have to go with her instincts.

He reached for her, gripping her hips as he slowly drew her closer. “I’m better now.” Setting his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes and let out a long, deep breath, and she felt his whole body relax against her. “Much better.”

Her hands automatically went to his chest. He was wonderfully warm and hard beneath her palms. This was probably not a good idea, but he opened his eyes and her misgivings disappeared under the warm, delicious intent in his gaze as he slowly lowered his head.

He brushed one corner of her mouth with his lips, and then the other, and nibbled and tasted in between. A soft sound rolled in her throat, and she clutched at his shirt, her whole body shaking in anticipation. Then he sealed his mouth to hers and slowly, thoroughly, kissed the strength from her limbs.

The other kisses she’d shared with him had been amazing, but this one…this was different. More. Fuller. Stronger. It was everything she’d always imagined, and more. Everything she wanted. And better.

Everything he should’ve given her long ago.

All the insecurity and pain from the past crashed through her. She broke the kiss and stepped back, needing to find her equilibrium, which was in no way, shape, or form near that man.

“Bella?” He reached for her, but she backed away.

“I…that felt…” She sucked in a breath and shook her head. “I can’t go there again, Matteo. You left me. God, that hurt. What you were just giving and asking…I can’t open myself up to that again.”

“What is it you’re afraid of?”

Her chest was squeezed so tight with remembered pain her voice was barely above a whisper. “That I’ll let you in, give you everything…then you’ll leave me again.”

There would be no surviving it a second time. Hell, she’d barely managed it the first time around and they’d never even kissed.

Stepping close, he thrust his hands into her hair and cupped her head. “I’m done running, Bella. I swear it. I’m done running…unless it’s to you.” Intense and fierce, his gaze matched the conviction in his tone, and heaven help her, she felt both to the deepest depths of her darkened soul.

“I want to believe you.” Okay, she did believe him, but dammit, she was scared.

His thumb lightly skipped over her cheek. “I was a fool to leave you before, and God, I’m so sorry I hurt you. But I promise, I will never do it again, baby. I’ll never willingly leave you again.”

Then he was kissing her with equal conviction, sweet and sincere, then hot and intense, embodying everything she felt for him, and from him all these years. And Bella was lost. Totally and irrevocably lost. And she didn’t care. She deserved this. Wanted this. Dammit, she’d waited a lifetime for this man. She couldn’t deny herself the pleasure of Matteo, not now that he wasn’t holding back either.

Without breaking the kiss, he backed her up until she felt the living room wall behind her, and then he pressed into her and changed the angle of the kiss. It was a hot, intense tangle of tongues and hunger and needy sounds that echoed around and through them. He kissed her again. And again. And again. And he didn’t stop until she was completely and utterly one hundred percent upside down and inside out.

When he finally broke the kiss, she took a second, or maybe a minute, before she opened her eyes. His gaze was deliciously dark and heated, and a sexy, dangerous grin tugged his lips. “We’re doing that again.”

“Damn straight,” she uttered, with a matching grin, reaching up to shove her hands in his hair and hold him still while she brought her mouth to his and kissed him until they were both starved for air.

Sucking in a breath, he set his head against hers and muttered an oath, “We’re probably going to kill each other.”

She laughed, in total agreement. “I know. But what a way to go.”

Then they lunged for each other again, and they were kissing, and removing shirts in a flurry of movement. He drew back to stare at her standing in her black bra, no shoes, and jeans with the top button undone. By him.

She smiled and ran her finger down his ridges and muscles, loving how his abs quivered under her touch. “You need to lose these,” she said, unzipping his jeans and tugging them down, taking everything underneath with it, springing him free.

She knew he had great inches. She’d felt it, seen bulges, but the real, raw deal was magnificent.

“Bella.”

She took him in her hands and he thunked his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, but when she covered the tip with her mouth, his eyes snapped open, and a raw, primal, need consumed his gaze.

He grabbed her shoulders and drew her to her feet. “My turn.”

In a matter of seconds he had her stripped of her jeans, and his fingers underneath the straps of her bra, tugging them down her arms, until she bounced free. His chest rose and gaze heated as he watched her breasts bounce in place. “Beautiful,” he murmured, before dipping down to cover one of her nipples with his mouth, while he brushed his thumb over the other. She moaned and cupped both his head and his hand as they worked to drive her completely mad.

“Matteo,” she gasped, when he changed sides and sucked the other nipple into his mouth.

Then his hands slid down her body, stroking and teasing, slipping his fingers under the edge of her panties, ripping a breathless, needy sound from her throat as he brushed the parts that ached for him the most. But then he moved his hand to grasp the black lace and tug it off her body.

He sucked in a breath and stared up at her. “God, Bella, you’re beautiful.” His gaze was full of heat and adoration, and she shook from the intensity of his emotions.

Starting at her calves, he ran his hands up her legs, over the curve of her hips, and brushed the sides of her breasts as he stood. Then his hand moved to her neck, while he pressed a path of hot open-mouthed kisses up the other side of her throat to her lips. The feel of his bare chest brushing hers sent a wave of heated sensation all the way down to her toes.

Looking into her eyes, he drew back and stroked his thumb lightly over her lower lip. “I want to hold you and taste you and make you want only me.”

She glided her hands up his sides. “Matteo, I’ve only ever wanted you.”

A look of fierce, primal emotion flared in his eyes a second before he captured her mouth for a deliciously thorough, deep, branding-type kiss. Moaning, she rocked into him, but he released her and drew back to sweep her off her feet and carry her into the hallway.

“Which door?” he asked, in a voice as strained as her breathing.

“End of the hall.” When she’d moved back in two years ago, she’d taken over her grandmother’s old room because it had a bathroom attached. She had every intention of making good use of that bathroom with Matteo tonight.

He set her on the bed, and explored her body, making her gasp as heat and need collided inside her. Bella could barely breathe, couldn’t get enough air into her lungs, he had her quivering with need, shivering with goose bumps while heat scorched her veins.

Damn, adrenaline had nothing on Matteo.

She must’ve made some kind of sound because he stopped and glanced up from where he’d been grazing his spectacular, silky, soft bearded jaw against her inner thigh.

“You doing okay?”

She reached down to slide her hands into his hair. “Yes, keep going.”

He chuckled and lowered his face back to her leg, where he kissed and licked and nipped until he had her squirming and gasping and swearing when he stopped just below her very best parts. She opened her eyes and met his gaze.

Her heart rocked and slipped into place at the emotion there, fierce, raw, unspoken but as real as the beat of her heart. She opened her mouth to say—who the hell knew what—but then he lowered his head again, and brushed her center with his lips.

“Matteo—” She tightened her grip on his hair, needing him to…needing more.

“I know.” His breath was warm and erotic on her sensitized flesh. “I know, baby, but I’ve dreamt of this for so long. I’m not rushing this. I want to savor—”

His hands slid over her body, while his mouth teased, just on the edge. Just out of reach.

“Matteo,” she ground out, aching and needing more.

Another chuckle vibrated through him, but he brought his hands down to help drive her mad, so she decided not to maim him. He spread her legs and sucked in a breath. “Gorgeous.”

He looked his fill, and just when she thought she was going to have to encourage him to take action, he stroked her with a finger. Bella gasped and arched her head back, closing her eyes to enjoy the feel of his touch. He traced her folds up and down, making her squirm, until he finally slipped inside.

“Matteo,” she cried out and shamelessly ground her hips, encouraging more.

He gave it to her, stroking her harder, faster, then gripped her hips with his hands and used his tongue to take her the rest of the way home. Which he did, with a thorough and exquisite precision that had her crying out his name in a long, drawn out moan as she shuddered with a release much stronger than any she’d ever experienced before. 

After he let her down slowly, and she returned to planet earth, Bella opened her eyes and found Matteo regarding her with a smug smile on his talented lips and satisfaction smoldering in his eyes. “You taste sweeter than I ever imagined. And I can’t wait to be inside you.”

The force of emotion in his words and tone grounded Bella, filling her with an unexpected sense of contentment she hadn’t realized was missing from her life. Until now.

Until Matteo.

***

 

“I want that too. But first, I get to taste, too.” She smiled, then flipped him onto his back, and Matteo allowed it for a moment.

He let her hold him down and kiss him, because, hell—he couldn’t get enough of that, or her, or the feel of her hair brushing his face. He loved the coconut scent of it—reminded him of summers and sunshine and ocean. He loved the feel of her soft curves pressing against him, the way her nipples scraped his chest with each delectable movement. The way her tongue brushed his, demanding and taking in a maneuver he was more than happy to give his full cooperation.

With a soft tug on his lower lip, she released his mouth to kiss her way down his body, nipping and licking, creating a fiery path straight down to his groin. Anticipation tripped his heart as her fingers and mouth hovered just shy of his throbbing erection.

Then she licked his length and he hissed out a breath when she suddenly took him into her mouth.

Fuck. “That feels good,” he muttered, closing his eyes as he set his hands on her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

“Mmm…” she moaned, and ah, hell, he nearly lost his mind.

Tightening his hold on her, he opened his eyes and looked down to watch her work him over. Her hair spilled over his groin, and hands gripped his hips while her breasts brushed his legs in her enthusiasm.

As if sensing his appraisal, she flicked her gaze to him without stopping her ministrations, and a wicked gleam entered her eyes, turning them a decadent emerald. His insides fisted tight.

With a groan, he pulled her up his body, then rolled, tucking her beneath him before he lost control.

“Hey.” She chuckled. “I wasn’t finished.”

The disappointment in her tone was mirrored in her emerald eyes and it nearly did him in. His body was hard and mouth was dry.

“I almost was.” He kissed her neck, then made his way to her shoulder, her collarbone, then moved lower to flick his tongue over her stiff nipple, before sucking it into his mouth.

She drew in a breath and her hands cupped his head as if afraid he was going to leave.

No way. “I’m not going anywhere,” he told her.

He was never leaving her again. Ever. He rasped his tongue over her other nipple. This time she moaned and arched up into him. She was so damn responsive. He rocked his hips, pressing her back down into the bed.

“Matteo.” She writhed beneath him, making soft, sensuous sounds that tested his tenuous control. He lifted his head to stare down at her. Head back, eyes closed, bottom lip pulled between her teeth…damn, she was so beautiful, and every man’s secret fantasy.

She sure as hell had always been his, but what was even better than that was the fact she was his amazing reality.

He dipped down and sucked that bottom lip of hers into his mouth, then soothed it with his tongue. She lifted her hips and moaned.

Hard and throbbing, he went to roll off to fetch a condom…when he remembered he didn’t have any. Not something he carried around often.

“What’s wrong?” She frowned, running her hand over his shoulder.

“I just remembered I don’t have a condom.” He took in the disappointment clouding her gaze, and he blew out a breath. “Don’t suppose you have one?”

She shook her head. “Nope.” Then pulled him back down on her. “I’m clean. On birth control. And need you in me now, Matteo. I’ve waited way too long to let a condom get in the way.” She blinked a second before she snickered.

He laughed too, then choked on it as she stroked him back to throbbing. “Bella—”

“Mmm…” She spread her legs and glanced up at him. “Don’t you think it’s time you made me yours, Matteo?”

“Yes.” Hell, yeah. Settling between her legs, he positioned his tip near her center, and holding her gaze, he slowly pushed inside.

Fuck, she felt good.

“So good,” she uttered on a hitched breath, echoing his thoughts while she clutched his shoulders and rocked her hips to take him in deeper.

“Bella…” Damn. He knew it would be this way. Knew she’d feel better than any other.

He grabbed her hands and held them on either side of her head, entwining their fingers together as he thrust into her, needing to feel everything, to give her everything.

The pull of their bodies increased the heat blazing inside him. He dipped down to capture her sighs in a kiss he craved more than air. Over and over, he tasted her heat and need, feeling her body quiver as she neared another release.

He broke the kiss and held her gaze, surprised to find hers open. As it always happened whenever she decided to drop her guard and let him in, he felt grounded, but this time, it was different. It was more, and that mere fact ratcheted up the desire coursing through him.

Matteo thrust into her, deep and fast. She was taking all of him now, and his gaze never left hers as he reached between them to brush a thumb over her center, and sent her over the edge.

She cried out his name, and the sound of it and feel of her pulsing around him was so exquisite he wished he could savor it forever, but it was too much. Too good. Too damn perfect. He pushed inside her one last time and let go with her, both their worlds crashing apart, then coming back together.

Stronger.

Better.

Whole.

When he mustered enough energy to move, Matteo rolled to his side and pulled Bella with him, so she sprawled half over him. He slowly guided his hand up and down her still-trembling body. “You with me?”

“Always.” She snuggled close, pressing her face into his throat, her breath warming him in spurts. “You were amazing.”

Satisfaction filled him to near bursting. He tightened his hold on her. “So were you, but I always knew it would be incredible between us.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just because it was unprotected?”

“Positive. The rush was unparalleled way before I entered you.”

“For me, too. I tried to get you to listen.” She playfully smacked his chest.

“I’m listening now,” he said. “And I’m not ever letting you go, Bella.”

She stilled a millisecond before burrowing closer. “Good to know.”

Something in her tone still sounded a little unsure, and it about killed him. But he understood he was going to have to earn her trust.

“You know?” she said, drawing circles on his chest with her finger. “I’ve never had unprotected sex before.”

“Neither have I.” But, damn, it was something he definitely wanted to do again with her.

He could feel her grin against his skin. “See that? We are each other’s first after all.”

He tipped them so that he could look into her eyes as she rested in the crook of his arm. “And we’re going to be each other’s lasts.”

The most beautiful smile spread across her face and his heart rocked into his ribs. “Roger that.”

***

Bella was afraid if she opened her eyes she’d find that last night was just another delicious dream, like all the others she’d had about Matteo over the years. And in truth, she didn’t think she could bear the disappointment right now. God, not after what they’d shared last night.

Just in case it hadn’t been real, she decided to give herself another five minutes of snuggling into the furnace of hot male who was asleep partially beneath and around her, since she had twisted herself around him like a pretzel.

Even in her subconscious, it was almost as if she didn’t want to let him go, either.

“Going to open your eyes anytime soon, baby?” Matteo’s sexy, low, morning voice caused her whole body to tremble, and the brush of his mouth near her ear wasn’t bad either.

She opened her eyes to see he, indeed, was real. And she should’ve known, because last night had been way better than any fantasy she’d ever imagined with Matteo.

“Morning.” Leaning forward, she kissed his sexy, scruff-covered jaw that had gotten an up-close-and-very-personal view of her entire body when he’d treated her to a head-to-toe body rub with his face. Twice.

The tactile memory of Matteo dragging his silky-soft, yet deliciously rough jaw across all her good parts caused a complete body quiver.

His hands tightened on her ass cheek and arm a second before he rolled them until he was on top of her with his mouth reacquainting itself with hers, because it’d been at least three hours since they’d gone at it.

“Good morning,” he murmured when he broke the kiss.

“Mmm…” She smiled and trailed her hands down his chest to stroke his sides with her thumbs. “Love your good mornings as much as your good nights.”

“Just wait until you experience my in-betweens,” he teased, trailing kisses down her throat.

Sighing, she tightened her hold. “I already know you have great in-betweens, Matteo.” Mega-incredible, mouthwatering in-betweens that had her sore—in a good way—and gave her the best up-against-the-shower wall-monkey-sex of her life. Twice. She was never going to look at her bathroom the same ever again.

In a good way.

While his mouth continued to blaze a trail southward, she could feel him smile against her belly. “Good to know.” Nipping her hip, he shifted down and made himself at home between her thighs.

Breath caught in her throat as heat spread through her body in a fluttering rush.

“I much prefer your in-betweens,” he said. And then he proceeded to show her exactly how much.

In careful, diligent, in-depth detail.

Twice.

***

A few days later, Matteo was whistling to a tune he’d heard on the radio and slinging pizza, while keeping an eye on the boardwalk and the people walking by. Despite his good mood, he was filling with unease more and more every hour. It crackled down his spine, making him itch. Christmas was less than a week away, and he still had no damn idea where Rasheed was, or his target.

So far, he sucked as a sleeper SEAL. Thankfully, Commander Lambert disagreed. Even commended him the other day for his diligence.

But Matteo was a hell of a lot more capable, and not at all pleased with himself. Today was the last day he was tossing dough. He’d already lined up a replacement. Starting tomorrow, he was on Rasheed’s trail, twenty-four/seven.

Well, with a little Bella downtime thrown in to keep him sane. Just the thought of their downtime every night since they stopped fighting their chemistry―and every morning―had him hard. Having decided not to rock the boat, they’d gone through a medium-sized box of condoms.

He smiled.

“Okay. What gives?” Omar asked as he watched him from the doorway.

Damn. How long had the man been standing there?’

“Hi, Omar. The usual?”

“But of course,” his friend replied with a smile and a nod.

“How was your trip?” He’d been in New York a few days, helping his mother move in with her sister. “Is your mother settled in?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Omar smiled. “My aunt will be thrilled to have a companion.” The man studied him a moment. “You’re very chipper. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you whistle before, let alone a holiday tune.”

Holiday tune?

He raised a brow. Could be. That was all the radio played these days. “A rarity for sure.”

And Bella’s fault. Her acceptance and forgiveness had put a perpetual grin in his heart. That, and the fact she rocked his damn world in and out of bed. A smile twitched his lips.

She’d been back in town a week, and managed to get him to reconcile himself with his past, and helped him to move forward. It was strange. He hadn’t even known he’d needed to do that, and yet, it had happened. And with ease, too.

“He’s been smiling like that all day. Heck, all week,” Joe said, smirking near the drink station.

Omar lifted a brow. “Smiling and whistling?”

Working on the turkey wrap, Matteo rolled his eyes at the men gossiping like little girls.

“Yes.” Joe nodded. “And he’s wearing a scarf with reindeer on it.”

It meant a lot to Franny, and Bella, so Matteo had seen no reason to remove it.

Omar reeled back. “No. I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true. Look.” Joe pulled out his phone and showed a picture the damn man had snapped of him the second he’d walked in that first morning after.

Matteo had still been operating in a post-climax state of mind to even notice. Bella had been extra adventurous right before he’d left for work.

He’d been ten minutes late opening the shop.

Worth every damn bit of the revenue loss.

“Only one thing could cause that much change to a confirmed Grinch,” Omar said with a tilt of his head. “A woman.”

Joe reeled back. “A woman? I haven’t seen him with anyone, but I do agree with you.”

“Only one woman could bring the life back to that face.” Omar stabbed his thumb toward him. “Bella.” He folded his arms across his chest and gave a firm nod of his head, as if daring him to tell him otherwise.

Matteo handed Omar his wrap and nodded. “You’re right. There is only one Bella.”

The man frowned. “Not sure that is what I said, but I am going to take that to mean I am right.”

Omar and Joe continued to stare at him, as if waiting for confirmation. Matteo grabbed a ball of dough and slapped it on the counter. Blame it on his new outlook on life, or his night of incredible sex―either way, he was feeling generous.

He glanced at the men and grinned. “You’re not wrong.”

Omar slapped the counter. “I knew it. That’s great news. And about time.”

“He’s only been back a few weeks.” Joe frowned. “I’ve seen many guys work for months to try to coax her out on a date.”

Heat spread down Matteo’s shoulders and into his spine. He stiffened. “What guys? I want names.”

Omar chuckled. “Down, boy.” He turned to Joe and winked. “He’s been in love with this girl since they were in school.”

And since the man was dead-on, Matteo didn’t even try to disagree. In fact, he took it a step further. “And an idiot for nearly a decade.”

Joe walked over and slapped him on the back. “Never too late, man. That is great news. And Bella’s a gem. You’re a lucky man.”

“I know.” Damn lucky.

“Guess that means you won’t be joining the Grinch Convention at the Capris this year.” Joe chuckled, filling a cup with iced tea, before pushing it toward Omar.

“I think that would be a fun one to attend,” Omar said, reaching for his drink. “My son got a job helping out at that convention.”

Matteo froze, except for his pulse, which skyrocketed in an instant. Forcing his fingers to continue to work the dough, he glanced over at Omar. “Really? Which son?”