Emma let Mal lead the way through the trees. She didn’t care where they went, really. Nowhere felt right. Nowhere felt like home. Maybe that was the problem.

When she lived with Jordan, as screwed up as everything was, it was still home. Now, she had the cabin, but it wasn’t really hers. It had always belonged to her and her brothers. She didn’t feel right claiming it for herself. Even if the rest of them had moved on with their lives.

Brett had Juliet. Joe had Ripley. Who did Emma have? A clan of bears that were more like Cheryl than she had ever realized. It shouldn’t have surprised her, really. Cheryl had been alpha for over a decade. Decades, even. Her out of the picture wasn’t going to change things overnight. It would be naïve of Emma to think that. Even with Jordan. She really had thought he was different. That he understood.

Maybe he did understand more than she gave him credit for. Sure, he was being a complete and utter ass at the moment, but he hadn’t really been wrong. And now he could be an alpha. She still couldn’t believe what she had felt in his spirit. Alpha.

Do you think he could do it, Mal?

Mal’s pace slowed. He had taken them to the river. Generally, they stayed clear of the area, but it was after dark. Mal liked the river. He didn’t answer right away, ambling along the bank to a cluster of boulders. Grunting, he climbed to the top of the middle one and lay down, sprawling out with his nose to the river. He even made sure not to drop the phone into the water when he set it down.

Jordan? He is a good man. And his spirit is strong—clear minded. More-so than Jordan is, a lot of the time.

I am not sure that is super helpful. His spirit isn’t the one that would be leading the clan.

Mal’s ears pulled back. We lead the clan.

Do we? Really?

Mal didn’t answer. Emma pushed their paw into the river, letting the water flow over their claws. Too human of an action for a bear. But no one was watching.

Mal. Do you really hate Mason and his porcupine?

No. He said it without hesitation. They’re learning quickly. And they are fresh. Untainted.

Free.

Mal nodded, then tilted his head to the side. I don’t know many spirits that would take on a pack of three bears single handed. The porcupine is untrained, yes. But he is strong. And he has potential. I think I could get to like the creature. If I had to.

A piece of grass caught on their claw, and Emma raised it up, studied it for a second, and shook it off into the water. She sighed as it floated away.

Do you think I am wrong to want Mason?

Do you want Mason? Or the freedom that comes with Mason?

Emma frowned. The million-dollar question. What did she want? Could she even make that decision on such a whim? With everything so messed up? The clan. Zander. Jordan. Mason.

She should be careful. Cautious. Yet everything inside her told her to cling to Mason. He made her feel. Were alphas allowed to feel? To want?

Can I want both?

Want or have?

You are being seriously unhelpful.

Unhelpful?

Emma rolled her eyes. Yes. Answering ever question with a question was unhelpful. Is it giving up to say I don’t want to be alpha? There it was. The first time she had voiced it. The real question. Emma Elliot was not a quitter. She never had been. She didn’t want to be one.

Mal didn’t respond. Because he was surprised by the admission? Or because she wouldn’t like his answer. He wasn’t typically one to avoid the truth of things. He sat up onto his haunches, nose raised to the air.

We aren’t far from Chuck.

What does that have to do with anything?

You are different when you are with Mason. More carefree. Happier. I want you to be happy, and I don’t think you have to give up to be happy.

Emma pulled back, letting Mal take over again. If you say so.

The bear lumbered to his feet, sniffing loudly, ears perked up. Emma let her thoughts meld with his, to smell what he could smell, hear what he could hear. Blood, soft footfalls. A howl of alert. When Mal had said they were close to Chuck, he wasn’t kidding. The regional alpha must be on the hunt.

Emma didn’t know if she was ready for this.

You are.

Mal let out a growl, announcing their presence even though Chuck had probably smelled them long before they had smelled him.

The alpha barked once, a warning.

Then a deer burst through the brush in front of them, chased by a small silver wolf. The deer had been wounded and found itself suddenly trapped by two wolves and a bear. The animal stopped, head jerking back and forth. Just as it leapt forward, the chasing wolf attacked, teeth tearing into the deer’s neck. It squealed and then tumbled to the ground. Dead.

The young wolf looked up, noticing the bear for the first time. It skirted around its prize, teeth barred as Mal stepped forward. An older wolf approached from the other side with a yip at the pup. The silver wolf backed down, hackles falling.

Chuck approached the deer, inspecting the kill with his nose and then licking the pup on the ear. Then he looked at Mal and jerked his nose to the woods back in the direction he and Emma had come from. Mal bowed his head, and backed up, leaving a path through the brush for the alpha wolf to follow. He didn’t stop until they were back at the rocks.

The black wolf shifted first, giving way to the fit, muscled form of Chuck de Luca. He stepped up onto one of the rocks and looked back at Mal and Emma. Mal nodded once and receded, golden fur and bear features retracting into Emma’s skin until she was fully human once again.

“I didn’t expect to find you out here.” Chuck said, clasping his hands behind his back. He looked out over the river, appraising the view. Emma stepped up beside him and mimicked his posture.

“Mal and I needed some air.”

“And have things become clearer?”

Emma shrugged. “Not really.” She looked over at Chuck. “How is Zander doing?”

“The Sisterhood is still holding him. They probably will for another week or so. At least until the mundanes have been dealt with and we’re sure he’s clean. You should visit him.”

Giving up on the formal stance, Emma sat down on the rock facing the river and pulled her knees up to her chin. “I’m not sure what to say to him. I let him down.”

“And yet he feels like he is the one who let you down.”

That didn’t make Emma feel any better.

“But that isn’t why you sought me out, is it?”

Emma shook her head. “No.”

Chuck sat down beside her. “There is still unrest in your clan.”

Emma closed her eyes. “Jordan’s free of Cheryl.”

“Really. So soon?”

“I think he really wants the clan.”

“I wondered if that would happen.”

Emma gave him a look.

“You needed to see it for yourself.”

“Thanks.” Sighing, Emma dropped her feet over the edge of the rock into the water. It rushed over her toes, cold and refreshing, sending goosebumps up her legs and down her arms. Chuck didn’t speak, and Emma knew he was waiting for her to bring up the reason she had sought him out.

The thing was, she hadn’t been the one to seek him out. Mal had. She just hadn’t disagreed with it.

Stop hedging.

I don’t know if this is the right thing to do.

You can’t trust anybody before you trust yourself. What does your heart say?

Mal, tell me what to do.

That is not my job.

“Emma?”

She could feel Chuck watching her. “I was just talking to Mal.”

“I know.” A chorus of howls sounded on the night air and Chuck looked over his shoulder.

Emma was running out of time. Mal pushed forward, wrapping her in his presence. He trusted her. She knew he did.

“I want to step down from alpha.”

Chuck cocked his head to the side. Hadn’t that been what he was expecting?

“I want to leave the Elliot clan.”

He nodded, lips pursed. “And what will you do when you leave?”

Emma hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Who will replace you?”

That one was easy. “Jordan. If you think he can handle it.”

Chuck shook his head. “That is not my decision to make.”

Emma frowned. “The clan will follow him. They have already… I haven’t been around as much as I should. They are already turning to him for alpha situations. He is well liked, and his spirit animal is strong.”

“Will you challenge him?”

“No.”

“Even if you disagree with his choices?”

“Not if I’m separated from the clan. Cheryl needed to go. I was the only one that could do it. Who would do it. But I think that is all that I was meant to do. I am not supposed to lead a clan of bears. Look at my brothers. One kicked out of the clan and in love with a padfoot. The other, barely cured from rabies and not interested in clan politics. And me?” She laughed in exasperation. “I set myself up for everything that’s happened.” Raking her hands through her hair, Emma looked up at the sky. “I thought that being alpha would be enough. That everything would just suddenly be better. But we are Elliots. Steeped in tradition and bigotry.”

Emma’s eyes burned, and she tried to blame the wind, but she knew better. Things were falling into place. She had started to understand. To trust.

“I am in love with a porcupine. A fucking porcupine.”

Chuck let out a low laugh. Not in derision. No. In the way that a father sees his child grow up.

“And I’ve messed it up horribly.” Emma didn’t try and stop the tears. She accepted them. Because they were true.

Chuck put a hand on Emma’s shoulder. “You are strong, Emma. You always have been. You could be a great alpha. If you want it. I won’t stop you from walking away. Not everyone with the alpha strength is meant to be an alpha. You are the only one that can make that decision.”

Emma sniffed and wiped the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Perhaps you just haven’t found the right clan.” He patted her once and stood up. “Emma, if you are sure this is what you want, take it. There will be no consequence from me, if you take care of your own. Make sure Jordan is willing to step up. If he is not, it is on you to find somebody else.”

Emma stood up next to him. “Thank you, Chuck.”

He nodded. “Is there anything else?”

“No.”

“One of my pack pups just made her first kill. I’m missing the celebration.”

Emma nodded and watched him morph back into the black wolf.

I guess that’s it.

Mal’s fur bristled out over her skin, wrapping her in warmth. Yes.

Emma picked up her forgotten phone and lit up the screen. No messages. No calls. It was pushing eleven, and even though it was a Saturday she decided it was time to go home. Tomorrow was a new day, and everything was going to be different.