3
Will you please stop looking at yourself as if you’re naked?”
Dee glanced up at Stacey. “I can’t help it. I feel naked,” she said, looking down at her outfit again. She’d worn skimpy clothes before, but none this daring. It hadn’t looked so scanty when she’d tried it on in the store. She hadn’t imagined the flesh-tone material would blend in so perfectly with her skin, to the point that it was almost see-through in certain parts… Or at least, it gave the illusion that it was. And to top it off, she was wearing a pair of shiny chocolate brown stilettos.
“You look gorgeous and your makeup is flawless. And I agree with Nikki. That short and curly hairstyle looks fabulous on you.”
“Thanks. You’re sure I look okay?”
“Positive. However, your fretting makes me wonder.”
Dee lifted an arched brow. “About what?”
“If there’s someone coming tonight you want to impress.”
“There isn’t,” she said almost too quickly and wished she hadn’t. Dee took a deep breath. “So what if Cohen is coming tonight?”
“I didn’t mention my brother’s name, Dee.”
“You didn’t have to. I know that look.”
Stacey smiled. “Do you?”
“Yes. And what you’re thinking isn’t true. If anything, I’m looking forward to meeting some of the single men there.”
“Cohen is single.”
“Then let me rephrase that. Single men who aren’t Cohen. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear at lunch, but your brother means nothing to me anymore. I walked away a long time ago, my pride intact,” she said, following Stacey, who was moving around, conducting last minute checks on everything. People would begin arriving at any moment.
Trying to forget Cohen hadn’t been easy. In the past couple of years, she’d gone back to school and had gotten a Master’s degree at night while teaching school during the day. She’d recently been selected to teach third grade at another school, one with a stellar reputation. Now she was considering working on her PhD. As for dating, she’d gone out when it suited her, though she found herself comparing the guys to Cohen. The ones her age seemed immature, so she’d started dating men at least five years older than her. That hadn’t worked out either—a lot of them were too bossy and set in their ways.
As she followed Stacey, she admired her friend’s beautiful home. Stacey and Eli had built it a few months ago and this would be their first party since moving in. The house sat on three acres of land and was massive--the perfect size for the huge family they wanted to have one day.
Stacey owned a gift shop on the main floor of the Steele Building in downtown Phoenix. The building was owned by Eli. Dee thought her best friend had always been talented when it came to decorating, and her gift showed tonight. Caterers were handling the food but the decorating had all been done by Stacey and her appointed committee of friends.
“So, who are the single guys, other than Cohen, that are coming tonight?” Dee asked curiously.
Stacey glanced at her and smiled. “You know Eli’s two single brothers, Mercury and Gannon. They’ll be here. Then there’s the Steele brothers’ friend, Zion. You know him as well. Gannon is bringing five other friends who I haven’t met yet. And Eli has invited several single friends, as well, though some of them are bringing dates.”
The doorbell rang and Stacey checked her watch and smiled. “Looks like the first of our guests has arrived.”
**
Cohen released a deep breath, half-listening to the conversation between the men standing around him. It was hard to pay attention to what they were saying while trying to keep Dee within his sight. She hadn’t so much as looked his way. He wished he could be as detached.
He’d caught sight of her the minute he walked into the house. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he’d seen her outfit. Why in the world would she wear something like that? Something guaranteed to grab attention? Granted, she looked good in it, but that was beside the point. And what had she done with her hair? The short, curly cut made her look too damn sexy for her own good.
Cohen couldn’t help noticing that the guys Gannon had brought with him to the party were hanging all over her, practically breathing down her neck. And dammit, she was letting them.
“Hey man, you okay?”
Cohen glanced over at Tyson. “I’m fine. It’s just…”
Tyson lifted a brow. “It’s just what?”
“Nothing.” He took a sip of his beer and glanced around the room. When he saw Stacey, he knew what he had to do. “Excuse me for a minute,” he said to Tyson. “I need to talk to Stacey about something.”
He moved across the room to where Stacey was welcoming a couple of late arrivals. “Got a minute?” he asked her.
She smiled up at him. “Sure. What’s up?”
Cohen tried to steady his breathing as he noticed one of Gannon’s friends lean in so close to Dee that their lips nearly touched. “Damn.”
“Cohen? Are you okay?”
He swiped a hand down his face. No, he wasn’t okay. Not when he wanted to cross the room and smash the guy’s face in. “Can we go somewhere and talk privately?”
“Sure. Come on. We can use one of the guest bedrooms.”
He followed his sister down a hall to where her guest bedrooms were located. They entered one and she closed the door behind them. “Cohen? What’s going on?”
“You tell me. What’s up with Dee? Did you see what she’s wearing?”
Stacey raised a brow. “Yes. In fact, I was with her yesterday when she bought it. I think she looks fine. Not everyone can pull an outfit like that off. She has both the body and the legs for it.”
He didn’t need anyone to tell him about Dee’s body and legs. He was pretty damn familiar with both. He had kissed that body all over and had found heaven between those legs. “Whether she looks good in that outfit or not is beside the point.”
“Oh? And what is the point, Cohen? Dee is single, beautiful, smart and intelligent. She’s not hurting anyone with how she chose to dress tonight. I think the outfit looks very flattering on her.”
“Well, I don’t.”
Stacey stared at him. “Why?”
When he didn’t say anything, she said, “For crying out loud, Cohen. I hope you’re not reverting back to your big-brother mode. The one you would try pulling on us when Dee and I were teens. You were worse than Justice ever was. Take a good look at Dee. She’s not a kid any longer. She’s a twenty-seven-year-old woman. A single twenty-seven-year-old woman. She works hard as a teacher and deserves to have fun whenever she likes and with whomever she likes.”
“I’m not trying to play the role of big brother,” he snapped.
“Then what role have you taken up? Jealous lover, maybe?”
He blinked. For the first time, he wondered how much Stacey knew. She was Dee’s best friend, after all. Had Dee told her anything? Did she know what he and Dee had shared? “Jealous lover? What makes you think that?”
“Forget I said that.”
No, he couldn’t forget it. She knew more than she was admitting to. “You know about me and Dee.” It was a statement, not a question.
She nodded. “Yes, she told me. But before you get all huffy, she just told me at lunch yesterday, Cohen. She felt I deserved to know why you’ve been avoiding her. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“What’s between me and Dee is complicated.”
“Funny you should say that. I got the distinct feeling from Dee that there’s nothing between you two now. She said that you made sure she knew that--”
“I’m ten years older than her, Stacey.” Although that wasn’t his main concern, it was a safe one, one he could tell people. To this day, he hadn’t revealed what had happened during his disastrous affair with Amanda Forrestal to anyone.
“And Eli is eight years older than me,” Stacey said, interrupting his thoughts. “Dad was twelve years older than Mom. Mr. Lewis is eleven years older than Mrs. Lewis. You’ll have to do better than that, Cohen. I know you. There is something else. But if you don’t want to tell me what it is, that’s fine. Still, I think you owe it to Dee to tell her...if you want there to be something between you.”
“I don’t.”
“Then I suggest you not concern yourself about Dee, what she wears and what she does. She wants the same thing most women want.”
“And what’s that?”
“A man who will appreciate her. Love her. Marry her. What woman doesn’t deserve that?”
Marry? The thought of Dee getting serious about anyone twisted his gut. “And she thinks the guys who have been buzzing around her all night are interested in marriage? Guys who happen to be new recruits in that damn Guarded Hearts Club Zion is expanding?”
Stacey shrugged. “I don’t know anything about that, since I just met them for the first time tonight. But Dee is getting to know them. And once they get to know her, I believe they’ll find out what a wonderful person she is.” She reached out and patted him on the arm. “Don’t let it bother you that marriage is probably the last thing on those guys’ minds. Eli would confess to the same thing when he met me. Some women can change a man’s heart.”
“And some men can break a woman’s heart, Stacey.”
“How well I know, thanks to Wallace. But in the end, he unknowingly did me a favor.” She turned to listen to the party going on downstairs. “I need to run. You going to be okay?”
He nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll be down in a minute.”
After Stacey left, Cohen thought about what she’d said. Was he acting the part of a jealous lover? He knew he had no right. He’d made it as plain as he could to Dee that there could never be anything between them. He’d known his words had hurt, but he hadn’t wanted her to think seducing him would eventually make him fall in love with her. There was no way for that to happen.
Like he’d told Stacey, men could break a woman’s heart. But a woman could also break a man’s. Like Amanda had broken his.
He was convinced that he had fallen in love with Amanda the first time he’d laid eyes on her, his first day in biology class at Harvard. For months, she had led him to believe the feelings were mutual. He’d had no idea some women could be so deceitful. While in high school, he hadn’t dated much, since he needed top marks to get into pre-med at Harvard. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t have been so blindsided by Amanda. He’d have understood that all women were not the same, that some had not-so-pure motives for seeking a man out, that some would feign interest until someone they felt was a better catch came along.
Unfortunately for him, he’d found out what a phony she was during what was the worst period in his life. He’d gotten word from his mom that he needed to come home immediately because his father had been injured in a job-related accident. Within twenty-four hours of Cohen’s arrival in Memphis, his father had been gone.
He had tried contacting Amanda to let her know about his father, but hadn’t been able to reach her. Nor had she returned any of his calls.
When he returned to school weeks later, he’d discovered that she’d taken up with a guy in law school, the son of a senator with his eye on politics. When Cohen had questioned her about it, she had laughed in his face, telling him she’d rather be a senator’s wife than a mere doctor’s.
Amanda’s betrayal, combined with the grief of losing his father pushed him into an abyss of depression, one so deep he thought he’d never manage to climb back out. He hadn’t had any close friends to help him through it and his mother, Stacey and his father’s sister, Aunt Maggie, had been going through their own grief. He couldn’t burden them with his, too.
All he’d had was a heart filled with pain and despair. He’d skipped classes and was on the verge of flunking out the semester and losing all his scholarships. There were days when he refused to talk to anyone, even his roommate. The pain overwhelmed him. He’d even thought about lashing out in some of the craziest, most self-destructive ways. He just hadn’t cared any more.
Luckily for him, someone had cared. One of his professors, Dr. Dahl, had recognized the signs of depression and had reached out to him. The man had encouraged him to get help and had even put him in contact with a psychiatrist off campus, who as a favor to Dr. Dahl, would treat him for free. It had been years later that Cohen had discovered those sessions with the psychiatrist hadn’t been free, at all. Dr. Dahl had footed the bill for all of them.
Cohen drew in a deep breath. That period of time had been what he termed as the “black hole” in his life. When he loved, he loved hard. He couldn’t risk falling into that hole for a second time. His heart and his sanity couldn’t take it.
He was well aware he was attracted to Dee. Hell, what man wouldn’t be? She was an extremely beautiful woman. Intelligent. And she had a heart of gold, just like his sister. He’d always thought Dee and Stacy balanced each other.
Once he’d started looking at Dee with different eyes, that attraction had only grown. And once he’d had her in his bed, he couldn’t lose the memory of what it was like to kiss her. Touch her. Taste her all over. Be inside of her.
Even with the distance between them, he couldn’t forget her. He’d still think of her, long for her, wake up with memories of the times he’d had her. How she had given herself to him in a way that, even now, made him wish…
Cohen shook his head. He couldn’t wish. He couldn’t imagine and he needed to stop fantasizing. Dee deserved better. She deserved more than he could ever give.
Accepting that as final, he turned and left the guest bedroom.