The more I get, the more I want.

I can’t help it.

Sex on the beach—literal sex on the beach—was hot as hell, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want more. I liked the anger in his eyes. It made me feel like I was in control, even though I know Charlie is stronger and more powerful in every way.

What a catch-22.

It was almost too much, sharing with him about my sister, and I need to cover that with some good old-fashioned partying. If it goes any farther, I might lose my grip, and I can’t do that. I can’t let all of it come rushing in again.

But I want him to join me on the reckless fun, so when I get up in the middle of the night, I do something naughty. I turn off his phone and hide it in the dresser drawer. He hasn’t opened that thing once. He’ll never find it.

In the morning, I wake up to him stretching, his body long and lean and muscled, and I’m instantly awake, instantly alert.

He’s not.

I can fix that.

I start by kissing him across the ridge of his hipbone, and the slow smile on his face fills me with warmth. Warmth and guilt, but I push the guilt as far down as I can. He needs a break. A real break. And I’m going to give it to him. This way, we both win.

When I go lower, taking his thick hardness into my mouth, his eyes fly open.

“This is a hell of a way to wake up,” he growls, threading his fingers through my hair.

I’m not in a position to say anything.

In the shower, he’s the most relaxed I’ve seen him, and he looks at me, eyes shining as the water runs down over his face. “You have a look,” he says to me.

I bat my eyelashes at him. “What kind of look?”

“Like you have something up your sleeve. Should I be worried?”

“Only if you want to avoid having an amazing time.” I move in closer, sliding my arms around his waist and pressing close. “I have a few ideas.”

“Let me guess. We’ll be starting at the swim-up bar.”

“How did you know?”

Charlie shakes his head. “You’re an open book, Josephine Paxton.”

Guilt joins the water cascading down my back, and I let it all swirl down the drain.

* * *

The swim-up bar is starting to get crowded at lunch, so we each have one cocktail and move to the other part of the pool. The fun part of the pool, with its own waterfall. “Don’t get too comfortable,” I say to Charlie between kisses from where we’re positioned behind the curtain of water.

“Why not? I thought that was the whole point.” He gets a faraway look in his eyes. I know exactly what’s on his mind—work. I kiss him again, harder this time. “We have plans.”

He rolls his eyes, but he grins at me all the same. “More parasailing?”

“Better than parasailing.”

“I don’t believe you,” he teases, but he follows me out to the docks anyway.

* * *

Charlie floats on the surface of the ocean, the long snorkeling fins trailing behind him, his face lit up even behind the snorkeling mask. We can’t speak to each other under the water, but over and over, his hand shoots out, pointing out one thing or another on the ocean floor. He holds his hand out to the schools of tropical fish that dance by in the current.

He loves it. He can’t get enough of it.

A memory comes to me of Beatrice, my sister, glowing with the same excitement. It takes me by surprise to think of it after all this time, but it must have been on one of the family vacations we took when I was a kid. We were both young then, and all the terrible shit hadn’t happened yet.

My chest tightens. It’s hard to breathe through the snorkel. But the last thing on earth I’m going to do is ruin this moment for him by insisting we leave. I can handle it.

When the captain starts hemming and hawing over making it back for another trip, Charlie swims back to the boat, digs his wallet out of the pocket of his shorts, and presses enough money into the man’s hand to cover at least three more fully booked boat trips. Then we paddle away, taking our time in the afternoon sun.

Charlie takes a breather on the shore of a white sand beach. There’s nobody around for miles, aside from the captain of the boat. I can see him from here, his feet up, hat pulled down over his face.

“You think he still likes his job?” Charlie says, and again Beatrice flashes into my mind. She always wanted to ask the captain a million questions. I want to make some joke, but the corner of my mouth turns downward instead. “What are you thinking of, Josie?”

Another wave of guilt. The only way to float above it is to offer something up, so I do. “My sister loved snorkeling.”

He nods. “I can see why. It’s fucking incredible.”

I turn to stare at him. “This is your first time snorkeling?”

Charlie cracks a sheepish smile. “I passed up a couple of opportunities as a teenager. Better things to do, and all that.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m sure you were busy texting your harem.”

He laughs out loud. “My harem? What do you think I was like in high school?”

I search my memory. “Popular. Serious. And you always had your jaw out like this.” I press my jaw forward in an imitation of his scowl. Thinking about it now, it must have just been me he scowled at like that. Me and Greg Roberts. No surprises there.

“I didn’t have a harem with a face like that,” he says, and looks at the sand. “I spent a lot of time getting ready to—” Then he grins down at his toes. “It was fucking stupid, anyway.”

My heart aches to see him like this. He’s so human. A man, a mortal one, but with a body like a god.

No wonder I’m in love with him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t stupid, whatever it was.”

He looks out over the water. “Oh, it doesn’t matter now. I didn’t…plan to take over the family business. That’s all.”

It’s quiet, other than for the waves and the cries of the birds. “What was your plan?”

“Believe it or not...” He grins again, shrugging. “I wanted to be a lawyer. I even got accepted into law school. Not that I was going to mention that when it came time to bail Cash Industries out.” He leans over and kisses me, his lips soft on mine.. “What about you? Did you ever get the job of your dreams?” He lets out a short laugh. “Of course you did. You’re probably heading back to something amazing in the city. Nobody would ever turn you down.”

I don’t have an answer for that. Not one that doesn’t fill me with shame.

I race him back into the ocean instead.