She put her phone in sleep mode and slid the cell into her back pocket of her jeans. She'd been working up the courage to check on Rich for the last four hours. Battling with herself every time she got close to the bedroom door.

At eleven o'clock, she promised herself one more hour, and then she wouldn't make any more excuses and would leave her room.

Midnight. Officially, a new day.

She quietly opened the door and stuck her head into the hallway. The guest bedroom door was open, but the light was out. She reached down to her side out of habit. Her empty purse remained on the bed. There was no sense wearing it when she'd left the gun with Rich.

Walking down the hall, she peeked into the bedroom and made sure Rich wasn't in there and then continued down the stairs and into the living room. She found him in his usual spot of standing in the dark at the window.

"Rich?" she said, stepping closer. "Can I talk to you?"

Mentally and physically exhausted, she'd hid in the bedroom after pulling the gun on Rich. She'd gone into a meltdown and then hit rock bottom when she failed to figure out why Rich hadn't let her go when she'd started to panic. He was always deliberate in the way he touched her, so she knew what he planned to do before he acted, giving her the option to say no.

To add to her confusion, she had a wonderful experience with him being the gentlest, most understanding man, when they'd had sex.

She went through embarrassment, anger, fear. He'd brought out the one thing that made her lose control.

Rich walked over to the couch and sat. She went in the opposite direction and perched on the edge of the chair across from him. From her position, the light from the staircase allowed her to see half of Rich's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"No." Her neck warmed and she was thankful he couldn't see her well in the shadows. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Whatever you think, it wasn't planned." He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "I'd been working up in the room, thinking about if you were okay at the bar, if you were protected, if you were safe, if some guy was going to touch you, and if the people you have at Vavoom's would be able to make sure nobody put a hand on you. My worry over you got bad enough that I searched the whole fucking house for something to drink because I didn't want to care."

She shoved her hands under her thighs. He cared?

"I gave up looking for a drink, and because I ruined more parts of the sheetrock putting it up worrying about you, I sat down—next thing I knew, you were leaning over in front of me." He blew out his breath. "You said my name in that sweet voice of yours, and fuck, honey. All I could think about was kissing you, putting you on that bed, and fucking you again. I swear, I would never force you. I would never do anything you didn't want me to do. But, you panicked and the look in your eyes..."

Rich stood and hooked his hand around the back of his neck. She grabbed the arms of the chair at his sudden movement. She needed a lamp on to see his face better but was afraid of interrupting him.

"I recognized the look in your eyes, honey. Because the same thing has happened to me." He looked up at the ceiling. "I couldn't let you lose yourself because of your fear. I wanted to keep you from putting yourself back into a situation where you'd relive your nightmare."

Wait.

What?

During the time she'd panicked, she had no idea it was Rich laying on top of her. She'd seen, felt, heard, smelled Roy Jenson. She'd totally lost herself.

She wrapped her arms around her middle. "What do you mean, it's happened to you?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't let you go when you're like that, Gracie. Believe it or not, I was protecting you, and if you hate me—"

"I don't hate you." She inhaled deeply, settling her upset stomach. "I can see—now that it's over that you weren't trying to hurt me. That the things I was feeling and seeing were things that'd happened...back then."

Rich stared at her. He'd witnessed a side of her she'd hidden from everyone else, even her twin sister. She'd never had that intimate connection with anyone else in her life who understood the absolute sick feeling of experiencing something so horrid again and again.

Ashamed at her weakness, she asked, "Did I hurt you?"

"No."

She swallowed. "There was blood on—"

"A little nose bleed," he said softly.

He would've let her shoot him. Out of everything she'd gone through with him, she couldn't forget what it felt like to hold her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot. All because she couldn't control her fears of being abducted again.

He'd stood in front of her, unafraid of dying. If he hadn't gotten through to her...

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"Can I come over there and hold you?"

She nodded and realized he couldn't see her. "Yes," she whispered.

He walked over to her, lifted her to her feet, and wrapped his strong arms around her. "I'm scared, too," he whispered back. "Cause I can't stop how I feel about you."

"Then, don't."

"I have to." He kissed the top of her head, and his arms tightened. "Unless you want to ride on the back of my bike and ride away with me. Just you and me."

She pulled her head off his chest and gazed up at him, hating the lack of lights, because she wanted to see if he was serious or not. "My sister is here, and —"

He shushed her. "I'd never ask you to leave your family."

"You could stay in St. John's." She grabbed on to the front of his shirt, a thought hitting her square in the stomach. "Are you afraid I'll hurt you? Cause I'll try not to freak out when I'm with you. I'll give the pistols back to Chuck and get them out of the house. I-it's too dangerous to have them around me when someone else is living with me, and I knew that."

He cupped her face. She pressed her cheek into the palm of his hand. Her life wasn't set in stone. She could change, and if he lived with her, the irrational fears that plagued her were better. She was safer.

"I'm a drunk. I like being a drunk." He kissed her softly. "I've done things that..."

She stood on her toes, hope filling her that he was finally going to share that private part of himself. "What?"

He gave a shake of his head. "I'll be done with the room in a week, give or take a couple days. I want this time with you."

"I want to be with you, too." She kissed him back. "Completely."

His chest expanded. She lowered her arms and wound her fingers in his, tugging him with her toward the stairs.

He climbed the steps. She looked over her shoulder, smiling, and finally seen him in the light coming from upstairs. Then, she saw the results from earlier marked on his face and stumbled.

Rich caught her before she could completely fall on the stairs. "Easy."

He helped her into her room. She turned the light on and studied him. Any arousal that'd developed downstairs disappeared at the sight of the fingernail scratches below his eye and his swollen nose.

She covered her mouth and rocked back on the heels of her feet. Rich grimaced and his gaze softened. Lowering her hands, she said, "I'm so—"

"Don't." His gaze intensified. "Don't you get it? I would put the gun in your hand and let you shoot me if it took away some of your pain."

"Rich," she breathed, not sure she even spoke until he leaned closer.

The kiss she expected never came. His breath warmed her face, and he gazed into her eyes. She stared up into the softness he only gave her.

"Close your eyes," he said.

She closed her eyes.

"Inhale through your nose."

She sniffed. A hint of emotionally-charged man teased her senses, and she inhaled longer.

His hands landed on her ribs. "Now, touch me."

She laid her hands on his chest. When he held still, she sprawled her fingers and roamed wider and higher, cupping his shoulders, and trailing her hands down his arms.

"That's me." He lowered his head and put his lips to her ear. "Know me with your eyes opened and closed. In the light and the dark, honey."

Her eyes snapped open at the clenching of her pussy in response. "What if I panic?"

He nibbled her earlobe. "Then, panic. I'll keep you safe."

She raised her hands and cupped his face, holding on to his beard. Tugging him down, she gently kissed his lips. He kept his life secret from everyone but willingly gave her his patience and understanding. She couldn't imagine the amount of pain or hurt or experience he hid that would make him the man he was where he could give her so much without giving himself away.

While he kissed her, his fingers slid down and hooked the waistband of her jeans, tugging them to her hips. She stroked his tongue with hers and shimmied her ass back and forth, helping him remove her pants.

As the material fell, she pulled back and caught his eyes darkening as he took in her bare legs.

He squatted in front of her and lifted her ankle. She placed her hand on his hair and balanced from one foot to the other until he'd unclothed her lower half.

Rich stood and took off his shirt. Her lower stomach warmed, and she rubbed her knees together. Attuned to her, he didn't miss a thing. He slipped his finger under the front of her panties. A smaller-thinner-sexier pair of panties than she'd normally wear, a daily habit she'd started since she'd had sex with Rich the first time in hopes it would happen again.

He pulled the material higher, slithering the string between her legs. She almost came at the friction. Slowly, he backed her to the bed without taking his gaze off her eyes.

"Not going to get on top of you, honey." He guided her to the bed. "I'm going to lick your pussy."

She leaned back and propped herself on her elbows, looking down her body to him lowering himself. He kneeled on the floor at her feet, and she inhaled deeply, relaxing. She lifted her hips, expecting him to pull off her panties and instead, he hooked a finger into the string between her legs and pulled the material to the side.

As if hypnotized by his confidence around her considering the last time he took her to bed, she watched his mouth draw nearer. She sucked in her breath and held it before his tongue flicked out and touched her.

A rush filled her, and the tension in her body eased with the second swipe. She widened her legs and let her upper body fall to the mattress. Needing to know where he was, she slid her hand into his thick hair and muffled a moan.

He grunted. The vibration against her sex went in her.

In her.

God.

That felt so good.

Her leg came up, and she dug her heel into his lower back, pressing herself against his mouth. He took the offering and rubbed his lips against her, sucking, licking, nibbling. Her hand came loose from his hair, and she quickly grabbed on again.

Rich reached around her hips and slithered his hands under her shirt, over her stomach, and squeezed her breasts. Her eyes fought to close and she struggled to keep them open as the assault of pleasure washed over her.

His mouth came off her. "Doing okay?"

"Mm-hm." She gulped.

He gave her his voice.

Running his thumbs over her hardened nipples, he went back between her legs and caught her clit between his lips. She squirmed, not to get away, but to...to...because it felt wonderful.

She moaned, giving up holding on to his hair and grabbed the comforter.

He darted his tongue inside and then back to her clit. She grabbed her head, pulling at her hair, caught between letting herself get swallowed up in pleasure or waiting a second more. Two seconds more. Three seconds more.

She wrapped her leg around his shoulder and panted. "Rich."

His hands left her breasts and went down to her hips, guiding the rhythm. Her back arched and she could no longer control when, where, how it would happen.

It happened then.

Powerfully.

Wave after wave of the highest high. Peaking until she finally exhaled in a rush, and rode her orgasm down.

Her back relaxed. Rich wiped his mouth off on her inner thigh. She raised her head and watched him stand and reach deep into his front pocket. His cock, visibly straining against the denim, forced reality to sink in.

"I don't have any condoms," she blurted.

He pulled out his hand. Between two fingers, he held a small, square package. "Found a few of them in the guest bedroom when searching your house today. I put one in my pocket hoping I'd have a chance to use it with you."

His admission acted like a match, starting a fire. She shuddered, sitting up, wanting to touch him. But, Rich wouldn't let her sit at the end of the bed and look up at him. He pulled her to her feet, and she wobbled. Her stomach fluttered. Her heart skipped a beat. Her breath hitched. She wanted to laugh, cry.

He'd brought her back up to an equal level, and the knowledge that he knew having someone hovering over her could set her off, that he put her first, that she needed to see him, and yet have a way out, only made her fall in love with him more.

Yes, she was falling in love.

Call her crazy, delusional, hopeful, she could end up loving him.

"Can I?" She flicked her gaze down to his hands at his zipper and back up to his mouth where he held the protection. At his nod, she took the condom out of his mouth and went back to watching him pull down his jeans.

Like before, he let them fall naturally past his hips, but her attention was quickly drawn to the hard cock in front of her. She hadn't had a chance to look at him the first time, and she was amazed that after going years without sex, he'd fit so perfectly inside of her.

Circumcised, large, hard, and beautiful, his cock stood proudly out for her to admire. Condom forgotten, she wrapped her fingers around his width. When his erection pulsed in her hand, she caught her lower lip between her teeth. He was magnificent.

Rich shuffled around her, sat on the bed, and laid back. "Roll it on, honey."

She leaned over him and put the condom on him. Wanting to keep touching him, she rubbed his thighs and looked at his face and caught him watching her. She never knew a man could look so intense and tender at the same time, but Rich owned it.

He crooked his finger and in his whiskers, his lips curved. Encouraged, she climbed on top of his body and straddled him. His cock rubbed her sex, and she reached down between her legs and held his hardness as she lowered herself.

Wet from her orgasm, she slid all the way down until he filled her. Then, up.

Rich grabbed her hips. She stopped and looked at him.

"You're going to make me come," he said.

Happiness filled her. "Faster?"

Say yes. Please.

His grip loosened on her and he caressed the underside of her thighs. "Do your damage, honey."

And, she did because she enjoyed the way he struggled to hold out on her. She did because the slight tremor in his hands touched her heart. She did because right now they were together and they were both connected, and nothing and nobody could take that away from them.

Her skin warmed. Panting, her stomach quivered tighter, and her legs weakened. Her pussy, already sensitive, convulsed drawing a groan from Rich.

His hips shot off the bed as he said, "Gracie."

Unable to hold herself up, she sat completely down and absorbed each hard pulse as he released, and he sucked in air.

She gazed at Rich as he looked up at her. There were a million things she wanted to tell him, which brought a million questions she wanted to ask him. All of them could wait because she knew in her heart that everything she needed, right that second, was in front of her, trying to figure out his life so he could keep her.