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Hard To Leave (The Hard Series Book 3) by S. Jones (8)

Chapter 8

Chloe

“To our first official date,” Jack said, clinking his glass with mine. We were at a small table overlooking the water. Marley’s Island Tavern was just on the outskirts of town, sitting on the edge of a beautiful little fishing island.

If we were “in season,” this place would be packed with people, but that was one of the benefits of living local, we could really enjoy these places when they weren’t overrun by the tourists.

“This is perfect. Thank you,” I said, smiling across the table and savoring what was most likely the best glass of Malbec I’ve ever tasted.

The waitress walked up to our table and placed our meals in front of us. She was tall, had dark brown hair, flawless olive skin, and a figure that made women envious. She had been pretty much ignoring me all night, her attention and humor focused on my date, but I couldn’t blame her. Jack had a larger-than-life personality and an effortless charm that oozed out of his every pore. It was easy to understand how women could be so drawn to him. Present company included.

She batted her eyes at my Jack. “Please let me know if there is anything else you need.” Her voice almost dropped into a whisper. I took a sip of my water and tried to ignore the feeling of jealousy growing inside me. She was lucky I wasn’t picking up the tab tonight because if I were, she wouldn’t receive much of a tip.

Jack deliberately reached over and folded his hand over the top of mine. “Thanks, but I already have everything I need at the moment.”

There was no doubt that his attention was set on me.

The waitress sulked and walked away with a little less pep in her step.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Does that happen to you often? The women constantly throwing themselves at your feet?”

He placed his napkin on his lap. “No more than it probably happens to you.” He winked and then sliced into his filet.

Heat hit my face. I felt foolish for getting the slightest bit jealous. “I highly doubt that. The only time I get that kind of attention is when a customer wants me to refill their coffee!”

He cocked his head to the side. “Why do you say that? You’re beautiful.”

There was no way I was having this conversation with him. He was already full of confidence; he didn’t need any more praise about his looks. It’s not that I thought that I was ugly, but he simply turned heads just from breathing.

“Let me ask you a question.”

“Fire away.”

“When was the last time you went on a date with a single mom?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked with confusion in his voice.

“Well, my phone doesn’t exactly ring off the hook with guys looking to date a girl with another man’s child.”

He leaned forward on the table. “Are you being serious right now?”

I looked down at my lap, feeling my cheeks grow hot again. “Come on, Jack, I know you find me attractive, but there have to be a lot less complicated women out there to chase after. Women who are able to live a spontaneous and carefree life. I have a kid and responsibilities, which means I have to plan ahead and often put someone else’s needs ahead of my own.”

“And I don’t have responsibilities?”

“Of course, you do,” I said, trying to backpedal my way out of my comment. I wasn’t trying to offend him, but I wanted him to understand that this was why I was single. I didn’t have the luxury of having fun whenever I wanted, but I felt like I was coming across as a bitch.

Dating was never really my thing. It always felt awkward, and a bit contrived to me.

“Will you look at me?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I put a little more effort into my smile than I needed to, hoping to erase the awkward tension. “I know you think you have me all figured out. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that some of what you think isn’t true or that you’re crazy for feeling that way. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend. I’ve enjoyed the company of other women. But all those women were opportunities that I took because they offered. It was never really about me not being able to give them more, it was because I didn’t want to. But with you,” he said, as his eyes softened, “it feels different. I want more with you. I care about you.”

“But why me?” I asked, feeling unworthy of this kind of attention.

He rolled his eyes. “Why you? And don’t bother with your speech about ‘responsibilities’ again because your being a single mother is completely irrelevant to me. I’m more concerned about the difference in the zip codes we live in than your parental status. We already have enough obstacles in our way. We don’t need to create ones that aren’t an issue.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “As far as responsibilities go, I know mine are different than yours, but I have a business to run now and I have a legacy to protect that my father left behind. There really isn’t much room in my life for anything else, Chloe, but I want to make room for you.”

I looked into his eyes, feeling my protective wall start to crumble. For the first time in a long time, I saw someone who wanted me for just me. Jack didn’t seem to care about the distance between us, or maybe he just didn’t understand how difficult it would be. But he cared enough to try.

“You make me think of life differently. You make me want more.”

“Want my advice?” His eyes were on his steak as he sliced off another bite. I had barely touched my meal; I was too nervous to eat. “I think you should go after whatever it is that you want.”

I laughed out loud, feeling the weight of our conversation lighten. 

“You sound like you know what I want.”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin before dropping it down on the table. Somewhere during our conversation, he’d eaten every crumb off his plate.

“Let’s just say, if it’s me you want, you don’t have a thing to worry about.”

“Is that right?” I quipped. The smile on my face was so wide that my cheeks hurt.

“Look,” his tone turned serious, and I felt the mood between us shift. “I’ve never done this before, and I feel like I should warn you that at some point I will probably fuck up. But I am confident when I tell you that I badly want this to work with us.”

I took a hefty sip of my wine, feeling the need to do something with my hands. His honesty caught me off guard, and I wasn’t sure what came next.

I peeked at him over the rim of my glass. There was something really nice about the way that he just laid it all on the table. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t imagining this connection.

“Jack, I don’t even know what to say.” I sat back while he waited patiently for me to continue. I was wrestling with how to say what I felt. “I know this is all new to both of us, and I know that things might not work out, but I’d like to give whatever this is a chance. I’m not going to lie; I’m drawn to you in a big way.”

Emotion swelled in his eyes, making me hope for things I probably shouldn’t wish for. “You don’t need to say anything more. I feel it too, Chloe. We’ll figure things out as we go along.”

He reached across the table for my hand. His knuckles were rough against my soft skin as they glided along my thumb. It was such a simple gesture, but the touch of his fingers against mine caused a ripple of need to flow deep through me. It had been too long since I had felt a physical touch from a man. Even though he had kissed me last night and almost copped a feel, this felt much more intimate. Goose bumps started to prickle along my skin. His hand gave mine one last squeeze before he pulled it away.

I picked up my fork and sliced into a piece of asparagus. “I’m going to be honest. I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time. I just want to warn you in case I say or do something stupid.”

The last relationship I had was when I was in college. Brogan and I dated for three years. We were both so young and without a care in the world. Until he left for Nashville to pursue his music career and everything changed.

“There is nothing you can say or do that will scare me off. So try your best.”

I raised my eyebrow and brought my napkin up to my mouth. “Really? So, if I told you that Glen Close was my idol and that I like to boil bunnies for fun, that would be okay with you?”

He dropped his fork to his plate and laughed. “It would depend on a few things.” His eyes held mine in humor. “One question, would the bunnies at least be dead before you put them in the pot?”

“Oh my God!” I laughed. “We need to change topics now. This one is getting too weird.”

“I can live with the bunny boiling, as long as you don’t get all Fatal Attraction on me. Kitchen knives give me the willies!”

I traced the edge of my wineglass with my index finger. “I can’t make any promises.” I looked up at him under my lashes. “But I’ll try.”

“What else do you have to try to scare me off?”

“I think I’m done for now. Besides, you went to an awful lot of trouble to get this date, so I should probably stay on my best behavior…at least, while we are in the restaurant.”

“You did make me work pretty hard for it.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not like I made you dance like a circus pony to get me to agree.” 

“No?” He mocked, sticking his ‘pony hooves’ out in front of him. “It sure felt like that, but it was totally worth it. Every fucking second of it.”

I turned my head while trying to hide my smile as I looked out the picture window overlooking the water. The twinkling lights glowed brightly from the shore, lighting up the entire cobblestone walkway along the pathway to the beach. The setting was absolutely beautiful.

All I could think about was how thankful I was for giving him a chance. He was right; I wasn’t making it easy on him, I was making it easier on myself. It turned out Jack was sweet and incredibly charming. I’d be a fool to pass up on the opportunity to get to know him better. Sure, I was stepping out of my comfort zone, but isn’t that what life was all about? Taking risks.

I sat back in my seat and moved my mashed potatoes around on my plate. Somehow, I managed to eat half of my sea bass and most of my vegetables, but between the wine and the appetizers, I was having a hard time finishing my meal.

“So how long will you be in town for?” 

His body tensed. “My flight leaves at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon.”

I tried to hide my disappointment, but I didn’t do it very well. Logically, I understood we lived in two different states, hundreds of miles apart from each other. I knew he had to go back home, but I had just hoped for some more time together.

As if he could read my thoughts, his hand reached for mine again across the table. “Hey, listen. Let’s not think about that now, okay? Let’s just enjoy tonight. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

I let his words settle, hoping they would soothe my anxiety. He may have been inexperienced when it came to relationships, but he knew exactly what to say, and he always seemed to know what I needed to hear.

I tried my best to push thoughts of him getting on that plane tomorrow out of my head and everything that would mean for us. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night analyzing my feelings from every angle. And I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to him before he even left.

“So…” He cleared his throat. “Please, tell me more about Tanner.”

A waiter appeared, interrupting our conversation. He placed our dessert in the middle of the table and handed us two spoons.

 Jack picked up his spoon and waved it at me. “Ladies first.”

I took a bite of the Bananas Foster bread pudding, covered in Vanilla ice cream and a raspberry drizzle. I wasn’t normally a big dessert eater, but oh my God, it was delicious. I didn’t realize I had moaned out loud until I looked up. Jack’s eyes were trained on my lips, and his jaw looked tense.

“Sorry,” I said, wiping my mouth.

“Don’t be. At least I know what your little moans sound like now.”

I kicked his leg playfully under the table. “Why do I get the feeling you have a one-track mind?”

“Because when it comes to you, there is only one track I’m interested in running on.”

The man had no shame.

I dipped a piece of my bread pudding into the vanilla ice cream as he watched me with interest. The waitress from earlier appeared at our table and set the bill down. Jack reached into his wallet and handed her his credit card.

I watched with annoyance as she intentionally brushed her finger against his. She looked like she was two seconds away from giving him a lap dance. I just stuck my dessert into my mouth and looked into her eyes and pulled the spoon out, doing my best to give her my “stay the fuck away from my man” stare.

Jack tapped his chin with his pointer finger. “You’ve got a little ice cream right here.”

“Shit,” I said, picking up my napkin and wiping it off. So much for looking like a badass. “So, what did you want to know about Tanner?”

He sat back in his chair and fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers. “What’s he like?”

I considered his question and found myself liking the fact that he wanted to know more about my son. “He’s actually a pretty easy-going kid. He’s not rough and wild like most little boys are. He’s much quieter and reserved.” I looked off and laughed. “Unless the subject of baseball is involved.”

“Ah…so he’s a baseball fan.”

“Unfortunately.”

Jack raised a questioning eyebrow. “You don’t like baseball?”

I shrugged and placed my spoon down on the table. “Not really. The game is too slow for me. I would much rather watch football or basketball, but he loves baseball for some reason.”

Jack placed his hands over his heart as if someone had just shot him in the chest. “Well, that changes things a bit.”

“How so?”

“I don’t think this is going to work out after all. I’m really sorry. You’re a nice girl and everything, but not liking baseball is a deal breaker for me.”

I picked my napkin off my lap and shot it at him. Of course, he caught it. The table next to us turned their heads when they heard his loud chuckle. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

“I’ve been called worse.”

I rolled my eyes. “I probably don’t even want to know, do I?”

“Does Tanner play ball yet or is he too young?”

“He played T-ball last year. He’s really good at it. I know it’s early and I’m biased, but he seems to have a lot of potential.”

“Where does he get his athletic genes from? Did you play sports when you were younger?”

“Oh, God, no. I’m too uncoordinated. Besides, the only time I run is if something is chasing me.”

“What about his dad?”

My fingers tightened around my water glass. The waitress appeared and handed Jack back his credit card. She batted her eyelashes at him. “I hope everything was to your satisfaction.”

I couldn’t even bring myself to get annoyed with her this time. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to respond. I let her irritating voice trail off as I heard her tell Jack that she hoped to see him again.

I could feel him watching me for a long time after she walked away. I worked my bottom lip back forth between my teeth while trying to come up with an answer.

“Tanner was the result of a one-night stand.” A wave of guilt coursed through me as I told him the same lie I had told many times before, but this time it felt different. With the others, it was a lie of convenience. With Jack, it felt wrong.

Brogan Hayes was anything but a one-night stand, but I knew the lie was a hell of a lot easier than telling him the truth. He was at the peak of his career, and the last thing I needed was TMZ or People Magazine poking around in my life.

“Do you feel differently about me now?”

He reached under the table and dropped his hand to my thigh. “Sweetheart, I’m the last person to judge.”

My gaze dropped to his hand that was firm against my leg. “Thank you.”

I’ve denied myself so much over the years because I was afraid. I was afraid to put myself out there again and risk hurting not just myself, but Tanner too. And no matter how hard I tried to resist my feelings for Jack, they just continued to grow.

“Jack, I need to tell you something. I like you a lot. Like, I mean, a lot. It’s just I’m nervous because it’s been a while for me.”

He tilted his head to the side. “How long is a while?”

“Since college. The last man I was with was Tanner’s father.”

His eyes widened. “You’re kidding. How is that even possible?”

“I’m a single mom with not a lot of time to date. Not to mention, most men won’t swipe right on Tinder if they know there’s a kid involved.”

He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Somehow I find that hard to believe. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I’m going to let you set the pace. You just tell me what you want.”

I didn’t want to keep overanalyzing every touch and every word. I just wanted to breathe him in and enjoy our little bubble. Because I knew come tomorrow, life would get back to normal. I just wanted one night to be me. One night to feel. I needed this. I deserved this.

“I want to go back to your place.”

He drew in a deep breath as his gaze slid across my face. “You’re sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“Jack, I’m not a virgin. It’s just been a while. I’m sure I can figure things out.”

His forehead creased as his eyes darkened. “Well, then I say it’s time we get out of here.” He held out his hand, helping me from my seat. I placed my hand inside his, feeling a warmth spread through me as we walked out of the restaurant.

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