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HAVOC by Debra Anastasia (33)

Chapter 59

T

“What’s Ember been up to?” It was morning, and we were in my room. Animal had left it like a shrine. I even had a phone charger.

“She’s taking classes at the community college in town. She’s still pretty pissed about the Merck thing, but she’s been talking to us. She was worried about me. Missing you, too.” Animal was stretched out on my bed. He was a lot, covered the whole damn surface. He was naked. I sat down and enjoyed the view of him in the sunlight from my window. Even lying down his muscles were defined. Any time he moved, a new one flexed.

“I need to go see her.” I stood. I was way beyond sore. He and I had been at each other all night. Like we were battling to prove who loved who more. It had been delicious. I’d been saving my heart for him, and damn, I was a whore about him now.

“I’ll get her brought here. You’re not going anywhere. You and I need to have a heart-to-heart about what happened, what you learned. Bunches of stuff.” Animal sat up and pulled himself against my headboard.

I enjoyed his abs the whole time he moved.

“Has she been coming around?” I brushed my hair out. It hurt when I lifted my left arm now. The gunshot wound had torn a muscle there.

“Not really. Nix wants to give her space. And I’m betting the less she’s seen with us, the safer he feels she is.”

He was silent as I dressed for the day.

“Please don’t put that beautiful body away,” he pouted.

I had a flare of insecurity. So many women had been under his gaze. Would I be enough? Forever?

“Don’t. Don’t get in your head. I know that you’re going to worry. I promise, you are mine and I’m yours. Gladly. So fucking gladly.” He swung his legs off of my bed and enfolded me in his arms.

“Okay,” I added as he kissed the top of my head. “I’ll believe that.”

We went back and forth, but eventually I convinced him to let me go to Ember. She was still at her Aunt Dorothy’s. He didn’t want me to actually leave. He kept saying he felt like he was dreaming, but I was feeling that way, too. Getting this—to be with him—was making me nervous. Maybe for no good reason. Maybe I’d always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was a lot, so soon.

He wasn’t my mom. She couldn’t escape her behavior if she was off her meds, but he could be different. He could allow himself to be true to me. Love me.

It took kisses and assurances, but he finally agreed that me meeting Ember on her territory was a good idea.

“Can you have Nix text her that I’m coming? I don’t want to shock the crap out of her.”

Nix was on my request, and I was out the door in the minivan. It was bulletproof and not flashy, which was fine.

I’d stolen Albany’s Corvette and driven it to the closest city. It turned out we were in Canada, so although it was a different country, there were ways of getting across the border that weren’t too intimidating. I had dumped Albany’s car in Albany, which felt pretty ironic and lovely. I switched to a sitting duck utility truck that had the keys left in it to make the drive the rest of the way to Midville. It had taken two days to get home.

Having a shower and my own clothes was incredibly soothing. To top that off, with a naked Animal in my bed? It was wonderful.

But now I had to face Ember. I knew Animal would miss me, and Nix and Becca as well. But Ember had just started opening up to me when I was taken. I worried about her. I wanted to show her I respected the blossom of friendship we’d had. I didn’t let people in—obviously. Ember needed someone who had no claims on her. At least, that’s how it seemed.

Nix texted me that Ember was home and alone. I went to the back door and made sure my head was covered. My hoodie and jeans could mark me as a teenager or hopefully one of her young friends if anyone untoward was watching.

She let me in, and when I removed my hood, I saw the wariness in her face.

“And we’re supposed to trust you? Just like that?” Ember’s nostrils flared and she folded her arms in front of her. “I needed you.”

She pushed at her long brown hair. I wasn’t wrong about the friendship I’d perceived.

I recognized the pain in Ember. I’d left her, and I had a feeling she was like me. I’d handle a situation like this the same way. I’d make people work for the right to be with me again. She was so, so angry.

“I needed you, too.” I didn’t reach out to her or force the situation. She had to be her own person, and her feelings were relevant. “This is literally the soonest I could escape. And if you don’t feel right about this, I’ll leave. I want you to trust your gut. If you have doubts, I’ll leave until you’re comfortable.” I held my palms out to her. I had to let her know I valued her opinion. “Even if that’s forever.”

Ember moved her lips from one side to the other, looking me up and down.

Finally, I watched as her eyes filled up. “I don’t want you to leave again.” She had a small sob at the last word, and it was a knife in my chest. But it was also resurrection. I wiped at a sympathy tear on my cheek.

“I never want to leave again. I didn’t want to leave last time, but I wasn’t letting Animal trade his life for Nix’s. I wasn’t letting them take Animal and Nix from you and Becca. You mean too much to me to allow that hurt to happen.” It was a lot for me to say. I hoped she knew how genuine I was being. Speeches were out of character for me.

Her acceptance was quiet, but it was the best. “Okay.”

I held out my arms for her, and she trotted into them. I rubbed her back.

“It must have been hell for you. Five months.” Ember pulled back so she could look in my face.

“I managed. It was something else though.” I told her as much as I could without giving her information that could hurt her later.

We eventually got around to Animal and me. And how we were—as far as I could tell—a real couple. I told her about Vegas and that I wanted her there for the wedding. If it actually happened.

I warned her of Merck’s inevitable invite. She thought about it for a few minutes before agreeing that she would attend. I was ecstatic because it felt like she was going to be my guest, and I was proud to have one.

I snuck out the back door and slipped into the woods where I used to watch her. I stayed there for a few hours to make sure she was okay. Wardon was still on duty, so I felt like I could leave. We had a wedding to plan.

But first, Albany would pay. I wouldn’t head into my future with her not having to be held responsible for what she had done to my pack.

 

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