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Heart of a Fighter: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Rocky River Fighters Book 1) by Grace Brennan (4)

Chapter Four

Cammie gulped down a cup of coffee, not caring that it burned her tongue. She barely slept a wink last night, her mind too full of worries to sleep. She still didn’t know what she was going to do. Staying felt dangerous, but leaving felt equally so. But every time she tried to imagine leaving here, leaving her brothers, it wasn’t them she saw in her mind.

It was Alex.

Followed swiftly by thoughts of how much she didn’t want to leave him behind, either. Which was crazy. She barely knew him. She shouldn’t care if she left him behind, or if he took off tomorrow. Hell, she should even help him go if that’s what he wanted.

Shaking her head, she left the kitchen and headed to the barn. Even she could hear the lie in her thoughts just now. She should want those things, but she didn’t. But this was all too much. Too much to contemplate, on top of the reality that the reprieve she bought herself for years was most likely coming at an end.

What she needed was to not think about all this crap. To go to the place she felt at home the most, which just happened to be in a gym somewhere, pummeling the crap out of something.

She walked into the barn and halted when she saw it was already occupied. Alex was there, tearing into the punching bag with fury etched in the lines of his body. It wasn’t like when he did it the other day, though. He wasn’t just throwing wild punches at the bag. He was controlled, precise, specific. He was in profile to her, but she could still see the burning intensity on his face as he concentrated.

Shifting her legs around, she clenched her thighs together. Okay, she could admit it to herself. It was fucking hot. He was hot. Seeing him like this turned her on, and her dragon was sitting up in her chest, taking note of him as well.

Frowning, she shook off those thoughts and walked forward a few more steps. “The change in you in just a few days is remarkable. What’s the difference?”

Cursing, Alex spun to face her with surprise in his eyes. Before she had the chance to warn him, the bag swung back toward him, hitting him in the back and sending him stumbling forward a few steps.

“Dammit. I’m really looking forward to the day when the bag doesn’t attack me and win,” he grumbled, turning around to stop the bag from beginning round two. He wiped his forehead as he turned back to look at her. “I’m starting to think you do that shit on purpose. Sneaking up so you can try to get the best of me.”

“Try?” she asked with an arched eyebrow. “No try about it, Alex. I do it every time. You really need to work on that. If you’re serious about training, you can’t get so far into your head when you start sparring with an actual partner. It’ll get you hurt every time.”

“I’ll work on it,” he assured her as he grabbed his bottle of water. “What other helpful tips can you give me?”

Frowning at his hands as she watched him raise the bottle, she replied, “I’m not going to hand out tips to someone who can’t follow them when they’re given. I’m not into talking to myself. You didn’t wrap your hands.”

She moved closer to him as he took a drink, her eyes catching on his strong throat gulping the water down. He glanced at her, catching her in the act, and she tore her eyes away, fighting back a blush.

“I tried,” he said with a nod to the strips of fabric next to where he sat his bottle back down. “I couldn’t manage it with one hand.”

“You need more practice,” she replied, somewhat mollified as she moved forward to take his hand in hers, wanting to check for bruising. Her breath caught at the zing that raced through her when she touched his hand, and it was all she could do not to drop his hand like she’d been burned. Glancing up, her eyes locked with his. They were heated and intense as he stared back at her, making her think he felt the same spark. Her eyebrows twitched as it looked like they momentarily lightened to a sliver color, but it happened so fast, she couldn’t be sure. “Until you have someone who can help you, or you can manage it yourself, don’t train that hard. I wasn’t exaggerating the harm you can do to your hands,” she said quickly.

Studying his hand, she tried to control her breathing. She didn’t see any bruising yet, which was good, and she should have dropped his hand then. But her fingers had a mind of their own, and they trailed over his knuckles. She tried to make it seem like she was feeling for damage, but it felt like a caress. He had big hands, not very calloused like a man who worked in manual labor, but not soft and pampered either. She swallowed hard as she gazed at it, so much bigger next to her small one. She had a thing for hands, and she’d never admit it to anyone, but Alex’s were doing it for her.

Unable to help herself, she slid her fingers over his hand again. Alex sucked in a breath and she smiled to herself, keeping her head down. She didn’t like the feelings she was developing for him, not one bit. But his reactions made her think he felt the same overwhelming attraction as she did. That was dangerous, but she couldn’t help feeling a little better, knowing she wasn’t in this alone.

Her dragon was practically purring, and she jumped when she finally became aware of the vibrations rattling through her chest. Clearing her throat quickly to mask any sound that might be escaping, she dropped his hand and turned away to get the wraps, chiding herself for getting so caught up in the moment. She had no business staring at any part of Alex like a love-struck teenager, even his hands.

“Here, I’ll get your hands wrapped up for you,” she said, praying the tiny bit of breathiness she heard in her voice wasn’t as apparent to him as it was to her.

“That’s okay,” he answered, waving her off. “I’ve been out here for a while now, and you look like you were coming in to train. You go ahead.”

Running the wraps across her fingers, she turned to watch him as he sat down on a bench. “You never did tell me what’s different today. Why you were so controlled and focused.”

He looked reluctant to answer, exhaling heavily and rubbing his hands on his jaw, his palms rasping on his morning stubble. He glanced at her with an inscrutable expression.

“Look, it’s obvious something happened at the fights last night that set you all on edge. I just wanted to, I don’t know, be able to make myself useful if something goes down. That’s all.”

Cammie’s eyes shot to his in surprise. She hadn’t realized he noticed anything was up, and it was dawning on her that he was more observant than she thought. Maybe he didn’t notice the physical, which he really needed to work on, because it was dangerous for him. But he noticed all the little details about people. He paid attention, close enough to know when things were off. And that was dangerous for the shifters.

Even more dangerous for her specifically, and him by extension. He couldn’t know how drawn to him she was. This attraction they felt between them, it couldn’t go anywhere. She wouldn’t bring an innocent man, and a human at that, into the mess that was her life. It wouldn’t be fair.

He stood from the bench, snapping her out of her mental freak out. Stepping in close to her, he slowly brought a hand up and brushed the backs of his fingers down her face.

“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?” he asked, voice husky.

If anyone was gorgeous, it was him. That strong jaw covered in morning stubble, the cleft in his chin she wanted to touch, the chestnut hair she wanted to run her fingers through. Swallowing hard, she forced her suddenly uncooperative feet back a step, breaking the connection she longed to keep.

“Alex, that’s sweet. It really is. But it takes years of training to get where we are. Besides, we’re fine. There’s nothing going on. Everything’s normal.”

He snorted. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. Something happened last night.” She squirmed under his narrowed gaze, resisting the urge to back up another step when he moved forward again. “Something to do with those two fighters who went on before Seth and Ian.”

She felt her eyes widen as she fought to keep an impassive expression on her face. “I was wrong. You are observant.” A smile started to curl his lips up, but she held up a hand. “But you’re observant about the wrong things. You let us sneak up on you all the time. Even if there were something bad going on, which there isn’t, you wouldn’t be able to help. You’d just get in the way and turn into someone we’d have to protect, instead of an asset. You’d just be a liability.”

Dammit, she was saying too much, but she had to stress the importance of him staying out of this. The thought of two shifters, with immense strength, going after Alex, ripping her fragile human to shreds, was an image she would never rid herself of. And it gutted her. Plain and simple.

She glanced up and met his eyes, struggling to keep what she was feeling locked up tight inside until she could get alone and analyze it. Alex wasn’t fragile, not in human terms. He was strong for his kind, but he was no match for hers.

Then the thought sunk in. She called him her human, and possessiveness was stamped all over the thought. Shit. This was so bad.

“That’s why I want to train. I want to get better. I can do this, Cammie. I can hold my own,” he said, his firm tone stubborn and determined.

“What part of it takes years did you not understand? You can’t hold your own right now. Not against fighters like that.” She cursed under her breath and inhaled deeply. She should be denying all of this, but she kept getting so worked up she was practically handing him info on a silver platter. “Look, this is all moot, anyway. Nothing is going on. The tension was just because we didn’t know there were any new guys around who could fight like that. You know our guys. They don’t like to lose.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw and his gray eyes narrowed to slits as he searched her eyes. He finally blew out a breath, and she could see the effort he put into trying to force himself to relax.

“I’m not saying I believe you, but I’ll let it drop for now. I still want to keep training, though. Maybe you could help me out, since Seth has been so busy?”

“Oh, no,” she said, her voice higher than normal. Clearing her throat, she forced herself to answer, but it was hard when half of her wanted to run, and the other half wanted to show him moves that would end up with them in a tangled pile of plastered bodies on the floor. “I’m not the right one for that. If you want to learn more effectively, Seth is better. You’re more evenly matched in height and weight. Besides, there are two weeks until the next fight. Seth has time now.”

“But what if I don’t want Seth? What if I want you?” he asked softly, his voice gravelly, sending shivers up and down her spine.

Cammie closed her eyes as he moved closer still, only a hairsbreadth separating their bodies. “This is a really bad idea,” she whispered. And unequivocally, it was. But for the life of her, she couldn’t make her body move away from his. All she could hear in her head was I want you over and over on a loop, and those words coming from him were casting a spell over her.

“No, it’s really not,” he said softly just before his lips touched hers.

Cammie couldn’t stop a gasp from parting her lips at the first touch of his mouth on hers, but he didn’t immediately try to take advantage. He kept it slow and gentle, brushing his lips over hers in a soft caress, giving them both time to get used to it. She was grateful, because just this innocent touch was enough to burn her up in flames.

One Cammie size pile of ashes, coming up.

Slipping a hand around her waist, Alex tugged her in closer. She gasped again at the press of their bodies together, and this time he slid his tongue inside, tasting slow and easy. But she knew his restraint was costing him. His erection was poking into her stomach, and she could feel his hands trembling slightly as they pulled her in closer still.

Pressing her body more tightly into his, she stood up on her tiptoes so it wasn’t such a reach for him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rubbed her tongue against his, moaning when his flavor hit her.

Coffee, peppermint, and a taste that was uniquely Alex. He tasted better than Starbucks, and she was already becoming addicted to it. His hands were roaming her body, sending tendrils of heat shooting over her skin, and their kiss became more aggressive, hungrier. She didn’t think she’d ever get enough of this, of him. And judging by the way he was devouring her mouth, he felt the same.

Yessss, mate.

Cammie stiffened as her eyes shot wide. Tearing her mouth from his, she put her hands on his chest and shoved him away. Starting to pace, she thrust her fingers through her hair, breath still coming in pants from that magical kiss.

The magical kiss that never should have happened. Because she’d opened a door for her dragon by allowing it, and look where that got her. This was bad. So bad.

“Cammie? What’s wrong?”

Shooting a quick glance at him, she shook her head, unwilling to answer, and unable to do so even if she wanted to. He was standing with his hands hooked on his hips, chest still struggling to take in air, and despite everything, she felt a thrill of satisfaction that she could affect him like that.

Forcing her frozen vocal chords to work, she finally pushed out, “This was a mistake. I have to go.”

Using more speed than she should in front of a human, and far less than she wanted to, she darted out of the barn, his protests fading behind her as she headed to the forest. Once past the tree line, she put on a burst of speed, streaking through the woods, intent on finding her special place by the creek.

All shifters had their own special gift. Some were mental, some were physical. Cammie’s was speed. She was faster than anyone, human and shifter alike, and she thought it never served her as well as it did right now. There was no way Alex would be able to follow her, and coming to know him as she had the last few days, she was sure he’d try.

She sank down on the ground in front of the creek, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She stared blankly at the shallow, slow moving water, but it brought none of the peace it usually did for her, so she decided to suck it up and face what her dragon whispered to her during that bone melting kiss.

Mate. Alex was her… she buried her face in her hands, still not sure she could contemplate the thought. Maybe her dragon was mistaken. Hell, maybe she imagined her animal saying it to begin with.

Alex is our mate.

Okay, maybe she didn’t. Shit. He was so wrong for her, so wrong for the life she led. He wasn’t strong enough for the world she lived in, for the dangers she faced.

Strong enough, the dragon said serenely, not the least bit concerned.

Groaning, Cammie rubbed her hands over her face and turned toward the sun just creeping over the tops of the trees. She never thought her dragon was dense or stupid before, but she was thinking it now. Her animal knew the danger they faced from their kind, just as well as she did. Cammie would hesitate on bringing a shifter into it, and a human was unacceptable.

She wanted Alex. She could admit at least that much to herself. Maybe more than she ever wanted anything. But she couldn’t have him, and hearing her dragon call him her mate changed none of that. She couldn’t bring him into the life she led, couldn’t put him in danger. Just imagining it gutted her, because odds were, he wouldn’t survive. And even if he did, it would mean a life always on the run. She couldn’t do that to him.

Maybe if it was possible to turn him, make him a dragon like her, she’d contemplate it. They were more vulnerable in their human form, but as dragons, they were nearly indestructible. Huge, on average the size of a house, they had thick, nearly impenetrable scales. Add in lethally sharp talons and teeth, and powerful, spiked tails, it generally spelled doom for anyone stupid enough to challenge one.

But dragons were born, not made. Unlike the wolves, bears, and so many other shifters out there, dragons couldn’t turn humans. She always thought it was a good thing, despite her kind being nearly extinct. They didn’t need more asshole, douche male dragons in this world. But there was a big part of her, growing bigger by the second, that longed to be able to turn him so she could mate him like she wanted.

Mated females were generally considered off limits to the males. But if her mate were human, she didn’t think it would stop a male from taking him out, and taking her with him. The males were more careful with female dragons who mated other shifters. There were very strict and clear rules about starting wars with other shifters, and killing one to take their mate was a surefire way of starting one. And dragons were too concerned with living to risk an enforcer putting them down. But one puny human wouldn’t be enough to make a dragon hesitate for even a moment. Female dragons were too rare.

An image of Alex, struggling in a massive dragon’s talon before being tossed inside the dragon’s open maw formed in her mind. Letting out a string of curses, she slammed her eyes shut and flopped onto her back in the grass, uncaring of the dew quickly seeping through her shirt and chilling her skin.

No. That couldn’t be Alex’s destiny, and it was more than likely to be if she claimed him. And as much as she longed to ignore her dragon’s certainty about him being her mate, as much as she wanted to tell herself her dragon was mistaken, she couldn’t. A shifter’s animal was never wrong about who their mate was. If her animal said Alex was hers, then he was.

But there was no rule saying she had to do anything about it. Resolve filled her as she ignored her dragon’s roar of disapproval. She could do that. She was strong enough. She’d trained herself to be as strong as she could be over the years, mentally and physically. She never imagined she’d need to use it for this scenario, but it would come in handy. More than handy, it would be a lifesaver. Alex’s lifesaver.

Alex rushed after Cammie, but by the time he got to the barn door, there was no sign of her. Cursing, he turned back and walked to the punching bag, hitting it in frustration, and dodging when it swung back at him. He didn’t know what went wrong. He’d been enjoying the best kiss of his life, and he was sure it had been, even without a memory to back it up. The feelings rushing through him as his lips caressed hers felt too new, too raw and potent, to have happened before.

He thought she was just as into it as he was. Hell, he knew she’d been. So he didn’t know what changed, what went through her mind to have her pull away and run from him like she had. And it was just a wild guess, but he didn’t think she’d be open to letting him in on what happened any time soon.

She thought their kiss was a mistake, and something inside him writhed in pain at the thought. He’d become so quickly attached to her. It felt right, down to his soul, so he didn’t question the how’s or why’s of it happening so fast. It just was. And he couldn’t imagine she didn’t feel it, too. Judging by how fast she ran, he was sure she did.

So there was something else in play here. She was a strong woman, mentally and physically. For something to make her run like she did, it had to be big. Something to do with the past she hid, and the way she freaked out when unknown shifters showed up. Someone was looking for her, and whatever they wanted her for, it couldn’t be good. It was nothing more than a guess, but it resonated within him, ringing true.

Swearing out a string of curses, he flung himself away from the bag and started pacing. He felt powerless and ineffectual, and he hated it. He wanted to be able to protect her, but he didn’t know where to start, not when he didn’t know what was going on.

“What the hell happened to make Cammie run out of here like the barn was on fire? I like you, Alex, but I’ll kick your ass if you bothered or hurt her in any way.”

Hooking his hands on his hips, he stopped pacing and looked at Seth, taking in the muscle ticking in his jaw and the glare in his brown eyes. The other man had a more serious expression on his face than Alex had seen before, and he knew Seth meant it.

“I don’t even know, man. Everything was fine one minute, and she was running the next.”

Seth watched him with narrowed eyes for a moment longer, and then the tension eased from his shoulders and the glare faded from his eyes. “She’s a complicated woman. She doesn’t let many get close to her, so don’t take offense if she pushes you away.”

“I’m not. I knew from the beginning she didn’t let anyone but you guys get close. It’s the push and pull that’s wearing on me, I guess. One minute I think we’re making progress and the next she’s running like she just did.”

Seth strolled into the room, his usual good-natured expression back in place. “I have no advice for you on that. Just keep trying and eventually, you’ll wear her down. The fact that you’re trying shows superb judgment. They don’t come any better than Cammie.”

“Yeah, I get that. I don’t know what, or who, was in my past, but I know in my gut she’s one of a kind. Do you think you’d have time to really train me some this week?”

Seth boomed out a laugh and clapped him hard on the shoulder. “Gonna win her over with fighting, huh? I guess you can’t go wrong with that. Yeah, sure, I’ve got free time this week. You ready to get started now?”

Alex nodded, turning to grab the hand wraps so Seth could help him with them. He didn’t bother correcting Seth about his reasons for wanting to learn how to fight for real now. Besides, they weren’t completely untrue. If learning to fight made him more attractive in her eyes, he’d take it. He had a feeling he was going to need all the help he could get.

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