Chapter Twenty-Five
Listen to Your Heart
One month later…
I was standing at the basin in the bathroom, brushing my teeth when Sam walked in wearing running clothes. That was to say loose shorts, a loose shirt with the sleeves cut off and running shoes.
He walked behind me, stopped, kissed my shoulder then found my eyes in the mirror.
“Gonna run. Be back before your folks hit the road.”
I nodded, still brushing.
He held my eyes.
I tried not to hold my breath.
Then he shocked me when he suddenly whispered, “Love me?”
It took everything I had not to fall to my knees.
As usual, he’d figured me out. He knew I was struggling.
He knew.
I triumphed, pulled the brush out of my mouth and answered, “Yes.”
He closed his eyes but I knew he tried to hide it because his arm went around my belly, his face quickly disappeared in my neck and against the skin there, he muttered, “Good.”
What he did not do was tell me he loved me.
He never told me he loved me.
Never.
His arm gave me a squeeze, he let me go and walked out of the bathroom.
When I lost sight of him, my hand shot out to curl around the basin. I dropped my head and closed my eyes. Then I held on tight and I held on a long time.
Then, when I felt I could do it, I lifted my head, slid the brush into my mouth and resumed brushing.
* * * * *
The day of Luci’s breakthrough everything changed between Sam and me.
None of it… not one thing… was good.
At first, I almost didn’t notice. It was just a niggle. But I put that down to his weird mood when he got back from Luci’s and the episode when he woke me up in the middle of the night, made love to me then forced that promise.
It was easy not to notice but I had to admit, I was kind of in denial. Still, Luci was getting her house ready for the market, Celeste was still there and Luci was still processing, talking, working things through.
We also had a short visit from a man called Joe “Cal” Callahan, Sam’s security specialist. Like Tanner Layne and Lee Nightingale, Joe Callahan was tall, dark, built and unbelievably gorgeous. He also had a scar on his face that marred his perfect male beauty in a way that was hot but also made him more than a little bit scary. But in the short time he was there, although gruff and mostly monosyllabic, he smiled a lot which made him a bit less scary. He also openly took a phone call from his woman which became a call where he also spoke to his woman’s two daughters during which his face got soft, he smiled even more and he laughed often.
This made him not scary at all.
That was until he traced how my hit man breached his system. This clearly pissed him off. Definitely a man who took his business seriously, had built a reputation and was not fond of that taking a hit. He did not need to make adjustments considering how the hit man breached his system included the hit man bribing someone at the electric company.
Cal visited this unfortunate electric company employee then returned, announcing firmly, “Situation neutralized.”
He gave no further information.
Sam nodded. I shivered.
Needless to say, all of the above took a lot of attention.
But also during it I noticed that Sam’s runs were longer and his stays at the gym were too.
And I further noticed a couple of times when Sam would tell me he had to go meet “a buddy” or had “something to do”. He didn’t tell me who the buddy was or what he had to do. He’d just go, come back and, like the day after the night of my promise, pretend it didn’t happen.
I let this slide and practiced patience, listened to Luci, spent time with Celeste and hoped.
I also kept true to my mission. I didn’t shower Sam with attention or change anything about me. I gave him me openly and steadily.
But I told him I loved him often. Not ridiculous amounts but enough.
He never said he loved me back. He liked it, I knew, he made that clear.
But his response was always, “Good.”
Then Celeste was gone, Luci’s house was on the market and she started to prepare for the big move. I helped. Sam helped.
But Sam’s runs kept running long, his workouts kept getting longer and the times he had to see to something or help out a buddy, none of these ever explained, increased in frequency.
I thought about it and decided to stop letting it slide.
If he had to see to something, I asked what.
Sam would say, “Not a big deal, baby. Won’t be long.”
Then he’d kiss me and he’d be gone.
Then if he had to help out a buddy, I’d ask who.
And Sam would say, “You don’t know him, honey. We’re not tight but he’s called a marker. I’ll be back soon.”
Then he’d kiss me and he’d be gone.
One could not say I had an enormous amount of experience with healthy relationships.
That said, I knew this was simply not right.
But it was worse. He was still Sam, gentlemanly, affectionate, attentive, but something was there, something was on his mind or there was something between us. I didn’t get it, couldn’t put my finger on it. The only thing I knew, Sam wouldn’t share.
And I was right. He didn’t. He acted like nothing was amiss.
I let this slide, practiced patience and hoped. I also kept up the steady flow of giving me and sharing my feelings for him.
And to the last, all I ever got back was, “Good.”
And that started to hurt.
When Sam was gone, I spent time with Luci. I spent time discovering Kingston. I walked my dog on the beach. I cleaned Sam’s house. I went to the grocery store. I did the laundry. I ironed his shirts. I talked to my friends and family on the phone.
But patience wasn’t working. I was seeing Sam less and less and I was feeling Sam withdraw more and more.
Then the time had come for my family to visit and I couldn’t let it slide, I couldn’t practice patience, I couldn’t hope. They’d notice, I knew they would. I had to make something happen. I had to find out what the fuck was going on.
I timed it when I thought it was right. We were in a moment, they were coming few and far between but it was a moment like it used to be between us. Sam seemed mellow, laidback… Sam.
We were watching a movie on DVD. We’d had a good day out buying a pullout couch for his office so Gitte and Kyle could sleep there. Sheets. Gifts to give my family. Sam had made me dinner and I’d kept him company in the kitchen, drinking beer, being stupid, making him laugh. He hadn’t seen a buddy. He’d only run for an hour. He didn’t have something to see to. It was just us all day.
And as we lay on the couch, cuddled together, me with my back to the couch, my front plastered to Sam, my cheek on his chest, my eyes on the movie; Sam with his arm around me, his fingers trailing my hip and waist in random patterns, his eyes on the movie, I took my shot.
“This movie sucks,” I announced and that was not a ploy. It did. It wasn’t bad. It was bad.
I heard and felt the rumble of his chuckle, his body shaking before he agreed, “It seriously fuckin’ does, baby.”
I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his smiling, beautiful eyes.
God, I missed that.
God, God, God, I missed seeing his eyes smile.
“Sorry,” I muttered because the movie was my choice.
“Punishment, next three flicks we rent, I pick.”
“Okay,” I whispered then pushed myself on top of him, reached out to the coffee table, tagged the remote and pointed it at the TV. I hit the button and the action paused. Then I tossed the remote back on the table and turned back to him. Staying on top of him, I placed my hands on his chest and caught his eyes. “Can we talk instead?”
The guard slammed down.
Oh man. I actually saw it slam… right… down.
Both his hands came up and sifted into my hair at the sides, holding it back and he replied, “Better things we could do, baby.”
It should be noted that through these nearly three weeks, our sex life didn’t suffer.
No. Not at all.
It was better than ever, like that night of the promise, hot, heavy, hard, intense, out-of-control… but desperate. It was the kind of sex I didn’t have to burn in my brain. Sam did it for me. Every touch, every taste, every stroke I’d never forget. It was beautiful. It was the only thing we shared that made me believe.
Even so…
“I’d rather talk,” I told him quietly.
His hands slid through my hair, down my back and his arms wrapped around me.
Then he invited shortly, “Do it.”
Not a good start.
“We’re…” I hesitated then pointed out, “Something’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Kia,” he replied instantly. So instantly I blinked.
He couldn’t possibly think that.
“Sam, since Luci had her thing on the beach, things have not been the same.”
“Everything’s fine.”
God! Seriously?
“It isn’t,” I pressed.
“It is.”
Was he in denial?
I stared at him.
Then I tried something else.
“You spend a lot of time away and you don’t tell me who you’re with or what you’re doing. That isn’t right.”
His arms convulsed around me, his eyes got hard and my stomach clutched.
“Don’t go there,” he warned on a low growl.
Oh man. Not this again.
“Go where?” I asked.
“There,” was his one word answer.
“Sam! Seriously?”
He knifed up, shifting me so my ass was to the couch, he got up and moved away.
Yes. It was this again.
And I would not stand for it.
I shot to my feet. “Don’t walk away from me!” I snapped.
He turned back and clipped, “I told you you got me, you got me. Do not question it. Trust it.”
“Okay,” I returned. “And you know you’ve got me. So would you be okay if I took off to do shit you didn’t know what I was doing and meet people you didn’t know who they were?”
“Fuck no,” he replied.
I threw out a hand. “See!”
“You’re a woman who’s, due to no fault of her own, found herself in a fair amount of trouble. I worry about you so, no, I would not be okay with that. I can take care of myself. If a situation arose, you could not. That said, I trust you and you gotta trust me.”
“For how long?” I asked immediately and his brows shot together.
“What?”
“For how long, Sam, how long do you get to do what you want and be where you are and expect me to trust you before you trust me?”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he asked on a growl.
“It means, you not sharing tells me you don’t trust me.”
“That’s bullshit,” he bit off.
“So now you’re telling me how I should feel? Because that’s what it feels like, Sam, you keep stuff from me, you keep you,” I jerked a finger at him, “locked away from me. You don’t tell me what you’re doing or who you’re doing it with. That’s how it feels. Like you don’t trust me.”
“I told you, Kia, you have me and not five fuckin’ seconds ago I told you to trust that. If this gig is you tellin’ me you don’t trust that then you don’t trust me. So fuckin’ trust it.”
I shook my head. “You’re lying to yourself and you’re lying to me if you believe that. If you expect that to be okay. If you expect that from me. You can’t take it all, Sam, and give me only what you want me to have. You cannot have all of me and only give me part of you. That isn’t fair.”
His torso swung back and he crossed his arms on his chest. “So you’re sayin’ I’m lyin’ and you don’t have me.”
“Absolutely,” I shot back. “If you can stand there and tell me that the last three weeks I’ve ‘had you’,” I lifted my hands and did air quotation marks before dropping them again, “then you are absolutely lying. Something is happening. Something is wrong. And you are shutting me out.”
He clamped his mouth shut and a muscle jumped in his cheek.
I waited.
Sam didn’t speak.
God! At that very moment he was shutting me out.
I fought back tears.
Sam still didn’t speak.
So I did and when I did, I changed the subject.
“Tell me about Gordo,” I demanded, his head jerked, it was almost imperceptible but I saw it.
Then Sam spoke.
“Talk about Gordo enough with Luci, not talkin’ about him with you.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to know about how Luci is processing his loss. I want to know how you are.”
“Processed it awhile ago, sweetheart. Don’t need to do that shit again.”
He was calling me sweetheart.
Damn.
“You didn’t,” I said softly.
“Got enough of Gordo buyin’ it up in my face, Kia, I do not need more. He bought it. He bought it awhile ago. It’s done. Can we please, for fuck’s sake, let it be done?”
“It isn’t done,” I returned.
“It’s done.”
“Then what was that, that night when you woke me up and made love to me?” I asked. “What was that Sam? That was far from done.”
Sam again shut his mouth and I saw his jaw clench.
He was shutting me out. And looking into his hard features and guarded eyes, I knew I was not getting in.
And that didn’t hurt. That killed.
I held his eyes and whispered, “Right.” Then I moved toward the kitchen, saying, “I’m taking Memphis for a walk.”
“Not alone,” he said to my back.
I stopped and turned to him. “What?”
“Aziz and Deaver have been released. You’re good. But at night, I do not want you walkin’ the beach alone with a King Charles spaniel. Memphis loves you but someone meant you harm, she couldn’t do shit. So at night, you’re not walkin’ the beach alone.”
“I’ll be fine,” I told him.
“Yeah, you will, seein’ as you’re not walkin’ the beach at night alone.”
I stared at him, teeth clenched, tears close. I had to get away from him and I had to do it now.
“Okay,” I said quietly. “Then I’m going to the guest bedroom and I’m spending the night there.” His jaw clenched again, his eyes flashed and I hurried on, “And do not do anything macho to piss me off, Sam. I need space and I need to be alone and you’re going to give that to me.”
Then before he could say another word or the look on his face could make me go back on what I said, I turned and ran up the stairs.
I spent the night in the guest bedroom and Sam didn’t do anything macho to piss me off. I slept alone. That was, I slept alone for the first time in ages after crying a lot and thinking a lot and neither of them did one fucking thing to help me.
The next morning, eyes still puffy, face blotchy, hair a mess, I struggled downstairs to coffee at a time when I was certain Sam would be gone.
He wasn’t.
He was in his workout clothes, leaning with hips against the counter, coffee mug in his hand.
His eyes came to me immediately and I knew at a glance he’d figured me out. Then again, the puffy eyes and blotchy face and the fact that I probably didn’t stifle all my sobs in the pillow the night before gave it away.
His face got soft, his eyes got warm and intense and his mouth said gently, “Bed’s not right, you not in it.”
“You’ve slept a lot in that bed without me, Sam, and from what you yourself told me you’ve slept with a lot of people in that bed who are not me so I’m not certain I believe you.”
His face lost its softness, his eyes their warmth but the intensity didn’t shift from me when he whispered, “Not cool, baby.”
“Maybe not cool but it’s true.”
“Do not make this dirty,” he warned.
“Right then, last night, you totally missed how much this means to me because I’m willing to play it dirty in hopes of getting something, anything, from you.”
“You have everything from me,” he returned quietly.
“That’s another lie.”
He held my eyes. Then he kept talking quietly. “Right, Kia, honey, then I’ll say you’ve got everything I’ve got to give.”
“That’s not enough, Sam. I love you and when you love someone, you want all of them. I’ve given you all of me. I’m here. I’m laid bare. Hell, I laid myself bare within days of knowing you. My family is arriving tomorrow, bringing my stuff. I’m living with you, restarting my life, here, with you. Now I want all of you.”
“Baby, I’m sayin’ you gotta take what I can give.”
“And honey, I’m saying I want all of you.”
And at that he was done. I knew this when he pushed away from the counter, twisted, put his mug down then walked toward the stairs to the garage but stopped and turned to me.
“I’m goin’ to workout. While I’m gone, Kia, baby, you gotta decide if it’s all or nothing. You know where I stand. Your decision.”
Then he was gone.
That’s right. Without another word or allowing me one, he was gone.
After I heard the growl of his truck fade, the hum of his gate closing stop, I started crying again.
I managed to shower, dress and leave a note and I took Memphis for a walk on beach. I didn’t know if he got back in an hour and a half or three that was how long I was gone.
Because that was how long it took to make my heartbreaking decision.
When I got back, Sam was dealing with the furniture people who were delivering the sofa. They were pretty psyched and not hiding it that they got to deliver a sofa to Sampson Cooper.
When Memphis and I showed up, Sam turned his back on them, took one look at me, closed his eyes and turned his head slightly to the side.
But I didn’t miss the pain that slashed through his features.
Seeing he’d figured me out, seeing his reaction to it, my decision took a direct hit.
Then his eyes opened, locked on me and they were burning intense, so much, it felt like they burned the air out of my lungs. He walked right up to me, nabbed me by the back of the head, pulled me in and up and laid a hot, wet, heavy one on me.
My decision already on shaky ground, I instantly changed my mind.
Sam lifted his head, his eyes scanned my face and he figured that out too.
Then his eyes closed, his fingers convulsed at the back of my head and he dropped his forehead to mine.
Damn, that was sweet.
Yep, I changed my mind.
He opened his eyes, touched his mouth to mine again then claimed me with an arm around my shoulders, turning back to the furniture guys who had the couch on the curve toward the stairs and were grinning at us.
“Hope you take no offense, Coop,” the mischievous one said, “but your woman is seriously hot.”
I sighed.
Sam muttered, “This is not something I’ve missed.”
The men burst out laughing.
I drew in a long breath, held it then released it, relaxing into Sam’s side.
Memphis bounced around the living room, yapping and trailing her leash.
I got Sam back that day. Gone were the long runs, workouts and mysterious buddies and errands. This could have had to do with our drama. Or it could have been my family arriving the next day.
But for me and for them, that week, Sam was Sam. Dad got to toss a ball with Sam on the beach and I was right, he loved it. He was beaming through it and he beamed for days after. Hap came down and I got my wish of Hap, Luci, Kyle, Gitte, Sam and I playing three on three football and I was right, it was wicked fun. Sam cooked for them and what he made was delicious. We drank a lot. We ate a lot. We laughed a lot. They got to know Luci, they hilariously met the hard as nails Skip and they got to spend a little time with Hap who could only come down for the day and then had to go back.
They brought my stuff which was piled up in the garage, the U-Haul returned. Kyle and Gitte drove straight to Kingston, so did Dad and Mom. Kyle and Gitte only had one week off but Dad and Mom were taking two, driving back to Tennessee with Kyle and Gitte and spending another week there before Kyle and Gitte were going to drive them home.
It was a good time. It felt nice. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t catch Mom and Dad both giving me careful looks a couple of times but I powered through it.
Not to keep them in the dark.
No, I was biding my time, waiting for the right one.
And that time had come.
* * * * *
I finished brushing my teeth, sorted out my hair, tugged on some clothes and went downstairs. I could hear Kyle and Gitte packing in Sam’s office. Mom was at the stove pushing around some sausage patties in a skillet, Memphis at her heels, the smell in the air pure, doggie torture.
Dad was at the bar, drinking coffee.
“Hey, honey, Sam’s out running,” Mom told me.
“I know, Mom,” I replied and went to the cupboard where Sam kept his travel mugs. Then I asked the cupboard, “Dad, will you walk with Memphis and me on the beach?”
I took a mug down, glancing his way to see his eyes were on Mom. Then they came to me.
Then he said, “Sure, honey.”
“Do you want a travel mug of coffee?” I asked.
“I’m nuked up, darlin’. Drink more, we’ll be stoppin’ every fifteen minutes.”
I nodded and sent a small smile to Mom. She sent me one in return.
She knew what this was about. She was curious but she wasn’t upset at being left out. She knew Dad would explain things later.
No hard feelings. This was the way it was.
I was Daddy’s little girl.
I got my coffee, leashed up Memphis and we walked out to the deck then entered the boarded walk that led down to the beach. Then we hit the beach. Then Dad took my hand and did the hard part.
“Talk to me, Kiakee.”
They had to get on the road and I needed quality Dad Time which might turn into quantity Dad Time so I didn’t delay.
“When we were talking on the phone and I was first telling you about me and Sam you said something. I mean, what you said was true but the way you said it, I haven’t forgotten.”
“What’d I say, honey?” Dad asked.
“You said the word, ‘inseparable’.” I looked to the side to see him grinning at the beach. “Why are you smiling?”
His hand gave mine a squeeze and he answered, “’Cause, Kiakee, all your life, you reminded me of your mother. You look like her, you act like her. Hell, in a way, you dress like she did when she was young. But then you were with Cooter and you became someone else. I lost you and I lost those bits of you that remind me of your mother.”
That sucked. But it was also true.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He stopped us and turned to me. “When I met your Mom, I couldn’t get enough of her.”
I felt my breath stall.
He shook his head, a small smile on his mouth as he went on.
“She made me laugh, Christ, Kiakee, never laughed so hard in my life but married her and got myself a lifetime of laughin’ that hard.”
This was true as well. Mom and Dad laughed a lot. All my life.
But thinking about it, Dad laughed more. This was because Mom was seriously funny.
I pressed my lips together.
Dad kept talking.
“And she’s beautiful, still is, but back then…” he shook his head again but his eyes stayed glued to me. “Took my breath away. Sometimes, to this day, I’ll lay in bed just to wait for her to wake up. Then she wakes up and looks at me with her beautiful eyes and her wild hair and that pretty mouth ‘a hers and I still thank my lucky stars.”
Oh my God.
I’d heard that before (kind of).
“Dad,” I whispered, moving closer and his hand dropped mine so his arm could wind around me.
“When we were new, startin’ out, no time was enough time with my Essie. Things were different then,” he looked in the direction of the house then back at me, “but, honest to God, I didn’t know your granddaddy had a shotgun, I woulda scaled the wall of their house to get to her. I told my buddies the instant I saw her I was gonna marry that girl. And I sure as heck did. I made it so. I stopped at nothin’. And I got my Essie. I knew, lookin’ at the laughter in her eyes the first time mine fell on her, she’d make sure I never regretted it. And I’m standin’ here right now with you, over three decades later, and I never did.”
I loved that. That was beautiful. I loved that my Dad had that.
I dropped my head and pressed the top of it into Dad’s chest.
His arm went from around me so his hand could curl around the back of my neck.
Then, in my hair, I heard him mutter, “Sam Cooper feels that way about you.”
I pulled in breath and lifted my head, Dad’s coming up too and I caught his eyes.
“I’m not sure,” I whispered.
“I am,” he stated firmly and I blinked.
“Dad, there are things you don’t know. He’s… we’ve… he’s holding something back from me.”
“What?” Dad asked and I shook my head.
“I don’t know. He won’t tell me.”
“You talk to him about it?”
I nodded. “Yeah, like, a gazillion times. I tried to play it cool. I tried to be patient. I tried to be gentle. I tried to be nosy and right before you guys got here, we fought about it.”
“What’s he say?”
“He doesn’t say anything except I have him.”
Dad’s head tipped slightly to the side and he said quietly, “Kiakee, from what I see, he’s not lyin’.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand. It’s hard to explain but even Sam kind of admits that he’s holding something back. I told him I gave him all of me and I want all of him. He told me he’s given me what he has to give and if it’s all or nothing that’s my decision.”
“And you stayed,” Dad noted.
I shook my head again. “At first, that wasn’t my decision. My decision was to call you and tell you not to bring my stuff here and that I was coming home. Then he, well…” I paused, sighed and continued, “I got back, he figures me out, he knew that was my decision, he kissed me and I changed my mind.”
Dad burst out laughing.
I could see the humor but I still didn’t think anything was funny.
“Dad, I’m being serious. This is bothering me as in bothering me,” I said softly, Dad sobered and gave me his eyes.
Then both his hands came to my jaw and he dipped his face close to mine.
“All right, Kiakee, I hate to disappoint you but what Sam said holds true. That man’s got demons, plain to see. And if he’s the type of man who wants to keep ‘em locked inside, honey, there’s nothin’ you can do. So there’s not anyone who can make that decision but you. If it’s all or nothin’ for you then you gotta get out. If you can take what he can give then stay. And what I’m gonna say next is not gonna help you out a whole lot more.”
Great.
Dad kept speaking.
“The man I see with you is a man who is with you. That man loves you. He didn’t, we’d have words about you movin’ in outta wedlock and me and your Mom would be in a hotel rather than under the same roof with you and Sam sharin’ a bed.”
I totally knew Dad was not entirely okay with that.
Dad went on.
“He loves you like I love your Mom. I see in him what I feel when I look at her. And you can believe that because after Cooter, I would never, honey, never say this kinda shit to you if it wasn’t what I felt was the God’s honest truth.”
I knew this last to be true.
Dad wasn’t done.
“That said, my Kiakee deserves to have it all. She deserves a rich, famous, good-lookin’ man who thinks the sun rises and sets in her. She deserves a decent, good, loyal man who thinks the same. Sam is both ‘a those. But she also deserves to have everything she wants. If she’s willin’ to give it all, she should expect it in return. And if this doesn’t feel right, honey, right there,” one of his hands moved to press my chest, “you go with that feelin’. Because my girl is back and she deserves decent, good, loyal, gentle, rich and famous and she always did. But if that’s not givin’ it all, my girl deserves to find a man who will give all of himself right back to her.”
I stared in my Dad’s eyes.
All he said was beautiful. It was right. It was wise.
But it didn’t help me one bit.
Then Dad, being Dad, helped me.
He pressed in at my chest again and whispered, “Listen to that. Always, always listen to your heart. It’ll guide the way. You’ll know, it’s enough, it’ll tell you. You’ll know, it’s not enough and never will be, it’ll tell you. Listen to your heart, Kiakee. And when the time comes to make the final decision, your heart will lead the way.”
In that moment, a moment of blinding clarity, I knew he was so right.
Two days before I married Cooter, I couldn’t get to sleep because my heart hurt. I didn’t get it, not at my age back then. I thought it was nerves and excitement. But two days later, I didn’t rush down the aisle, beside myself with glee to be marrying the ex-quarterback of the high school football team.
I did it with uncertainty.
Because my heart was talking to me and I wasn’t old enough or wise enough to listen.
Now I was both.
And now, I was there. I let Sam kiss me and change my mind because right now, what I had with him was enough. I didn’t need it all.
Tomorrow that might change.
And until the final decision needed to be made, I would burn every moment into my brain, just as I promised. I might not need those memories. But I’d have them all the same.
I wrapped my arms around my Dad, held him close, pressed my cheek to his shoulder and whispered, “Thanks, Dad.”
Dad’s arms around me gave me a squeeze. “Anytime, Kiakee.”
Memphis, patient until now, yapped.
I pulled away and looked down at my dog. She jumped a few feet and strained the lead.
“We better walk Memphis,” Dad muttered.
“Yeah,” I muttered back.
Dad took my hand and the lead out of my other one that also held my coffee.
When he did, I took a sip of coffee.
Then I took a walk on the beach with my Dad.
An hour later, Sam still sweaty in his running gear, bags loaded in the car, Sam and I stood in the drive and waved as Kyle backed out.
My family waved back.
We stayed where we were until they were out of sight and I knew Sam hit the button on the remote because the gate started closing.
Now it was only Sam and me.
Oh man.
I felt the tears pool in my eyes, one slid over and trailed down my cheek.
Sam turned into me and with a hand at my jaw he tipped my head back so he could look at me.
His eyes moved down my cheek.
Then he whispered, “Seein’ that kills me.”
Right. There it was. The decision I made just over a week ago was the right one.
It wasn’t about Sam’s kiss.
It was about Sam giving me beauty just like that.
I closed my eyes and did a face plant in his sweaty-shirted chest. His arms closed around me.
“You’re gonna miss them,” he surmised.
I nodded, my face moving against his chest.
“Anytime you wanna go back, baby, you tell me and I’ll get you to your family.”
“Okay,” I whispered, my arms got tight around him and I pressed close.
“Kia, honey, I’m drenched with sweat,” Sam told me.
“I don’t care,” I replied.
That was when his arms got tight. Then I felt his lips brush my hair. Then he just held me until I pulled away. He turned me to his side, arm around my shoulders, mine around his waist and, with Memphis bouncing at our heels, Sam walked me to the house.