When Esmeralda returned with Bryony the next day, I knew I had this whole being sick thing beat. The blue goop was totally on its way out (even if I was afraid to look) and I definitely felt better. I was sitting up in bed and feeling energized, I had this.

Yes, I was lying to myself. No, I didn’t care.

I’d spent half the morning arguing with Sorsha, trying to convince her that I was fine and ready to bust out of quarantine.

She’d eventually convinced me that trying to leave the clinic would lead to a relapse and I’d reluctantly agreed to stay put.

Sure, she’d threatened to call in my babysitters and tattle on me, but whatever. I agreed, didn’t I? But that didn’t mean I had to lie in bed and do nothing.

Bry scrambled into bed with me, his large backpack bouncing around while he crawled to my side. He bumped and jostled me before finally finding a comfy position.

I split my attention between my kid and the dhampir in the doorway. “Did you bring it?”

She gave me a curt nod and hefted a large paper bag. She sat it on the bed next to me. “This was everything that matched your descriptions.”

“Good.” I dug into the bag and pulled out old books covered in familiar arcane symbols. The kind of symbols I’d spied on Keller’s books. Jezze hadn’t made much progress, at least none she’d told me about, so I’d decided that it was time for me to take a crack at it myself.

“What are those?” Bry grabbed one of the books, pudgy fingers clinging to the dusty leather.

“Books to help Momma get better.”

“Oh.” He opened one and examined the pictures on one page and the next, tilting his head this way and that. “Will they stop the shadow man from taking you away?”

I froze in place and carefully closed the tome in my hand before slowly turning to Bryony. “The shadow man?”

He looked away and fidgeted, fingers toying with one of the aged pages. “I saw him last night. And the night before. He was trying to take you. I don’t like him.”

I ran a hand through his hair, soft silken strands tickling my fingers. I frowned at my son while concern crept into my blood. Bry’s “shadow man” sounded a lot like the figure I’d seen in my dreams. It made me wonder if he was having nightmares or if he’d somehow sensed what I’d seen. Brownies—my son especially—were insightful and sometimes borderline psychic, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d picked up on my dreams.

“We won’t let him take me anywhere.” I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

“Promise?”

A knot formed in my throat and my voice got caught for a moment. I didn’t want to make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep. At the same time, I didn’t want Bryony worrying about me either. “Don’t worry, kiddo. I’ve got Reggie here keeping an eye on me. Uncle Luc said he was the best pup for the job.”

“Uncle Luc lies, Mom.” The kid released a long-suffering sigh.

“Only on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.”

“Now you’re lying.” Bry narrowed his eyes.

“It’s my turn.” I sniffed. It was a normal joke we shared. There was no hiding or ignoring the family that had adopted Bry. We were liars, all of us.

The hellhound opened his red eyes and looked at us from where he laid in the corner. His ears perked up at hearing his name. Then he huffed and flopped to the side, getting more comfortable. He hadn’t moved from that spot for hours. He didn’t seem to eat or—thankfully—poop. Which was awesome. As much as I resented my uncle for giving me a watchdog, I figured it was a good thing that the pooch didn’t require walks or get distracted by physical needs. It made him the perfect guardian.

But Reggie wasn’t completely without a dog’s urges. Before Esmeralda left the room she reached into the bag of books and dug out a rather large bone, tossing it to Reggie. Demon or werewolf? I had no idea, but it was something Reggie craved because the pup hopped to his feet, tail wagging, and caught the long bone with ease.

I arched a brow at Esmeralda. The ice queen surprised me at every turn. I made a mental note to tell Jezze that Esmeralda had a soft spot for dogs. Or maybe it was just evil beasts from the bowels of Hell that tickled her fancy.

I sat with Bry for a while, both of us doing our homework. I have to admit, I was jealous of the stuff Bry got to read. While he had early elementary school books, I was buried under the weight of complex symbology and arcane lore. Now I remembered why I usually left the heavy reading to Jezze. But considering I hadn’t heard from her in a couple of days, I wasn’t counting on her to find the solution.

Doubts crept deeper into my mind as I recounted my visitors over the last few days. Visitors that didn’t include Jezze very often. She had been my best friend for hundreds of years and… she hardly came by or called. Which was fine. She was probably working on finding the answer.

But if she did learn anything, could I trust her to be truthful? Yeah, Bry and I joked about me and Uncle Luc lying, but it seemed like everyone had taken on the Prince of Lies’ habits.

It wasn’t until after dinner that night that I finally saw Jezze. Esmeralda had taken Bryony home to sleep hours ago and I still sat in bed, surrounded by books while I fought off a headache. I glanced at the clock and realized exactly how late it was—Jezze must have just closed the bar. Her voice reached me through the open door, her tone heated as she spoke to Sorsha. I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but there was no missing the furious edge to Jezze’s voice. She was arguing with the healer.

I was all for a good argument, but it didn’t take long for me to realize… Jezze wasn’t here to see me, but to talk to Sorsha. Seriously?

I huffed in frustration and pushed my books aside. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and Reggie immediately rose and padded to me. For a moment I worried the giant hound would try to pin me to the bed, but instead, he simply stood there. He patiently waited to see what I’d do, at attention and loyally waiting for my next step.

He was big enough that I could lean against him; hand on his back for support when the room decided to spin. I swallowed, pushing back the bile that threatened to rise in my throat. Yeah, I wasn’t puking on the floor. Not. Happening.

Reggie let me use him as a brace while we traveled across the room and then into the hall. I’d never admit it to Uncle Luc, but I was thankful for the pup. I couldn’t have managed the walk on my own. I felt better than I had a few days ago, but it wasn’t until I’d gotten out of bed that I realized how much of the weakness still lingered.

The hellpup and I headed down the hall, slowly shuffling along, and found Jezze and Sorsha talking in the healer’s workroom. The space smelled of herbs and dirt, clean air and the crispness of magic. They both looked up when I entered and immediately fell silent. Jezze looked away, but in that brief moment, I was sure I saw tears in her eyes.

“You should be in bed.” Sorsha gave me a stern look.

“Yeah, I’ve had enough bed rest for now.”

“Caith…”

“Can it, Sorsha.” I fisted my hand in Reggie’s fur. “Jezze, what’s up? Did you find anything?”

And Jezze… didn’t say a word. She didn’t look at me, didn’t even acknowledge my presence. She merely stood there, trembling while I stared at her and that was all the answer I needed.

“Look,” I moved deeper into the room and slid onto an empty stool. “I’m tired of everyone dancing around this. I’m sick, we all know that, but you need to be straight with me.” When Jezze still didn’t acknowledge me, I added, “You know I’m dying, don’t you?”

Jezze and Sorsha exchanged a look. Did they think I was an oblivious idiot?

Jezze swallowed hard and looked my way, but didn’t meet my eyes. “We’re still looking for a cure. I’m making progress with Keller’s journal, but…”

“But you still don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Actually,” Sorsha folded her hands, “we do.”

“Ahh.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Reggie flopped to the floor next to me and propped his head on his paws. “Let’s have it then. What is it?”

Sorsha glanced at Jezze first, silently giving my friend a chance to speak.

Jezze took a deep breath and began her explanation. “Ancient magic. Something we think predates recorded history. We’re talking plagues of biblical proportions.” She finally met my eyes. “We don’t think there’s a cure because this magic is so archaic that no one has needed to search for a cure for millennia.”

“But isn’t old magic, like, old and crappier than what we know now?” I frowned. “Modern magic should have no problem kicking old magic’s ass.”

Jezze shook her head. “It’s hard to explain. The differences in magic, it’s…”

“Dumb it down for me.” I gave her a steady stare.

She huffed. “Okay. Think of it like computers. First generation computers filled whole rooms and were made with vacuum tubes.”

“Yeah, sure.” Ugh. I remembered those. I much preferred the sleekness of today’s tech.

“Okay. Say there’s a virus created on one of those old machines, and you’ve got an antivirus program that runs on a modern computer. It uses electronic signals instead of vacuum tubes.”

“Huh.” I scrunched my nose and tried to wrap my head around the metaphor. Had I mentioned how much I hated being sick? “So, you’re saying modern magic is incompatible?”

“And then some.” Jezze held up Keller’s book. “There’s some stuff in here that looks like an attempt to translate ancient magic into something we can use today. Except, it’s like trying to translate ancient hieroglyphics into modern English without a Rosetta Stone.”

“All right.” I chewed on my lip. “So, our mystery Big Bad figured out how to conjure some ancient juju and that’s what’s in my blood. And there’s no cure.”

“We won’t stop looking.” Sorsha’s voice was filled with determination, but pure determination wouldn’t keep me alive.

I nodded and focused on the far wall. I wasn’t going to let them see the tears in my eyes. “Thanks for letting me know.”

I slid from the stool and Reggie stood, offering me his support. I dug my fingers into his fur, desperately needing something to cling to, something to ground me in the now. I moved toward the door, ready to return to my room, but paused in the doorway.

Without turning around, I said, “Jezze, I need to talk to you and your mom as soon as possible. I need to make arrangements for Bryony.”

“Caith…”

“No,” I whispered, “don’t tell me it’s too soon. I’m not going to lie down and die right this second, but if I don’t survive, I want to make sure Bry is looked after.”

“Of course. You know I’ll do everything I can for him.”

I just nodded, unable to find my voice again.

I leaned on Reggie even more as we shuffled back down the hall and he remained in place while I climbed into bed. I pulled one of the books into my lap once again.

Speaking with Jezze and Sorsha had driven the truth home, and my inevitable future stabbed me in the heart. I’d already known I was knocking on Uncle Luc’s door, but I’d hoped… I hadn’t wanted to believe it was the end. I figured there’d be a cure if we worked hard enough. But no matter how hard we worked, there wouldn’t be a cure coming.

No wonder Jezze hadn’t been able to visit me—or talk to me.

I shoved my fears aside and opened the book. Maybe there wasn’t a cure for me, but I wasn’t going to stop looking for a way to survive. I was too stubborn to give up; even when everyone else told me it was hopeless.