Chapter 4

 

Two days later…

 

“I don’t understand, I thought you were taking some time off work to help me.” Jeanette looked shell shocked, and Monica shifted awkwardly from foot to foot in her best friend’s office.

“I did, but I can’t take off for the next month, Jeanie. I have to pay bills too.”

“What bills? You live out of your backpack.” Jeanette accused.

“You think I found that pack on the side of the highway? And you and I both know that you have the wedding almost completely arranged. I’ll only be gone for a few days, and then if I don’t get a reassignment, I’ll come back to help more.” When Jeanette continued to pout silently, she sighed. “Please don’t be mad at me Jeanie. It’s not like I’m going to miss the wedding. I just need to fly down to Texas and shoot some pics for the magazine. The athlete this time is an old friend, and he personally requested me.”

“Who is it?” Jeanette asked, her eyes brightening with curiosity.

“Joseph McCoy.”

“McCoy? Isn’t that the guy you dated a while back?” Now Jeanette looked intrigued, her irritation forgotten.

“No, I dated one his brothers once or twice, but Joseph and I were just friends. He’s the guy who was in a dirt bike accident that left him paralyzed, and he had to relearn to walk,” Monica explained. There was so much more to that story, but she was in a time crunch. “I’ll fill you in in the car if you’ll please drive me to the airport?”

“What? Now? You’re seriously telling me about this on your way out the door? What the hell, Monica?” Jeanette’s temper flared just as the office door swung open and male laughter filled their ears.

To Monica’s dismay, Hawke wasn’t alone when he came into his fiancé’s office. Kyler’s blond head and brilliant smile lit her soul on fire, even has her gut twisted with guilt.

“Hey, Doc, any chance you can sneak away for a picnic this afternoon? I saw Payton leaving with Luke and figured maybe your afternoon was free.” Hawke lazily walked across the room until he stood behind Jeanette’s chair, and then swooped down gallantly to plant a deep kiss on her lips.

“I have to take Monica to the airport, or I would.” Jeanette pursed her lips like a small child having a tantrum, and Monica bit back a grin just as Kyler grabbed her arm and spun her to face him.

“You’re leaving?” he snapped. “Just like that? Without a word of goodbye? Haven’t we done this before?”

“I have to do a photo shoot. For fuck’s sake, I don’t owe you anything, Kyler.” She regretted the words the moment they left her lips, especially when he hissed out a breath like he was physically in pain.

He nodded, and then turned away. “Have a safe trip.” With that, he disappeared out the door, leaving Monica to gape after him. She fought the urge to chase after him. What had she done? She’d most likely just ruined the only second chance she’d ever get with him. For all her running away, she’d never once wanted to follow someone before, and now it took every ounce of her strength to stay put.

He thought he knew her, but in spite of their four-month relationship, he didn’t know shit. She wasn’t good at commitment. Hell, she couldn’t even commit to an address for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t fair for him to expect her to stop living to be with him. She had obligations.

“I think I’ll grab my gear and head down to the river to fish since you’re, uh, occupied, darlin’,” Hawke told Jeanette.

All the steam fizzled from Monica as she realized she’d made an ass out of herself. She’d managed to hurt everyone important to her in one fell swoop, and now she couldn’t even turn around to face the two of them after what they’d just witnessed. She was such a bitch. How could she treat Kyler like that? Again!

“No cows to rope and wrestle today?” Jeanette asked.

“Nah, the guys have it handled.”

Monica could feel her legs trembling beneath her, and she braced herself on the back of a chair, willing them to keep her standing.

“You’re not going down there alone, are you?” Jeanette was asking Hawke. “Bran and Thea said no one should wander the ranch alone until they catch Bucky.”

The name rang a bell with Monica, but she was struggling to figure out from where with her brain still reeling. Kyler had walked away. No, she’d sent him away. Of course, he’d left. She’d lashed out at him, and hurt him all over again.

“Shit, you’re right. Okay, I’ll head for the woodshop instead. At least that way Vin will be on the other side of the wall from me. Is anyone riding up with you girls?” Hawke’s question helped pull Monica out of her fog.

“No, I’ve only talked to Jeanie so far. I have my bag packed, and I’m short on time. My flight leaves in just under two hours.” Her voice sounded hollow, even to her own ears.

“We’d better get on the road then. I’ll text you when I get to the airport and when I’m on my way home, okay?” Jeanette rose from her chair to wrap Hawke in a hug. The affection between the two was obvious, and while Monica was thrilled for her best friend, she was devastated to realize that she’d pushed away the one man who’d treated her like a queen.

“I could come with you, if you want,” Hawke said slowly. “We can grab dinner in town before we come back.”

Jeanette looked Monica’s direction and seemed to see something on her face that had her turning the date down. “Nah, you go make something pretty for me. I’ll be back in a few hours, and this will give us a chance to have some girl talk alone. Love you.”

“Love you too, darlin’.” Hawke kissed her and then nodded at Monica. “Safe travels, Monica. Come back anytime.”

She nodded, and swallowed the lump of emotion clogging her throat. In spite of what she’d told Jeanette earlier, there was no way in hell she was going to come back until the day before the wedding. She couldn’t do that to herself or to Kyler. It was better if this was just a clean break. Eventually the pain would fade. It always had before.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Kyler’s heart ached nearly as much as his fist. After leaving Jeanette’s office he’d slammed into his cabin and promptly put his fist through the living room wall. Anger and frustration warred with the pain of rejection in his chest, and he struggled to breathe as he dropped to sit on the floor, head in his hands.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, but it was early evening when someone knocked on his cabin door. Ignoring the pounding hadn’t helped and he’d finally climbed to his feet to pull the door open.

“Can’t you take no for an answer?” he snapped at the intruder. His mouth shut firmly when he came face to face with Hawke.

“Jeanette’s asked me that same question a few times. Can I come in?”

Kyler hesitated. While he and Hawke had been on good terms ever since the bachelor party, the other guy had just been witness to one of the worst moments of his life. How humiliating.

“I’m not feeling like company right now,” Kyler answered.

“Yeah, I get that, but sometimes what we want isn’t what we need, and vice versa,” Hawke said with a shrug, pushing his way into the living room. He came up short when he saw the hole in the wall and gave a long low whistle. “You know you’re fixing that, right?”

Kyler nodded contritely and shut the door. “Are you here for something in particular, Hawke, or are you just here to push the knife in further?”

“Hey now, I’m not the one who left you hanging. Monica did that all on her own.” Hawke took a seat on the sofa. A burst of dust particles shot up into the air and drifted slowly back down, twinkling in the setting sun’s rays.

“Yeah, I know. It’s not the first time either,” Kyler muttered, perching on the edge of a chair across from Hawke.

“So why do you keep letting her back in?”

Kyler tried to find the right words. It was a question he’d asked himself all afternoon, and he still didn’t know how to answer it. She’d left him back in Seattle, and although she’d apologized, she’d never really explained herself. The fact that she’d spent a night in his bed obviously hadn’t meant as much to her as it did to him.

“I’m a masochist, clearly.”

Hawke nodded. “Most men are when it comes to their women. So, when are you leaving?”

“Leaving?” Kyler glared at Hawke, “What are you talking about?”

“You’re going to go get her and bring her back, right?” Hawke acted like it was a fact not a wish, and Kyler growled low in his throat.

“I think she made it pretty clear she doesn’t want me.”

Again, Hawke nodded calmly. “Yep. But the way I see it, nothing’s changed. You love her, and she loves you. She pushes you away, and you hold her tighter. That’s what love is.”

“Are you stupid or something?” Kyler snapped, regretting it when Hawke’s eyes darkened with irritation.

“I was as stupid as you are at one time. Jeanette changed me—for the better. I’m pretty sure Monica can do that for you too, and vice versa. Look around. Six months ago, you’d be passed out drunk by this time of the day; you’ve made great strides in staying sober. I’m just afraid if you leave things the way they are, you’ll slip. Did you ever consider that maybe Monica needs you to be strong enough to fight for her?” Hawke crossed his arms. “The question is, are you man enough to go after her?”

“Where do you come up with this shit? Your soon-to-be wife might be a head shrink, but you’re just a rancher, man. You don’t know the first thing about Monica and me. We have a history, and that’s all it is. History.”

Kyler shot to his feet and stomped back to the door, flinging it open again. “I’d appreciate it if you’d leave me alone tonight. Like I said, I don’t feel like company.”

Hawke sat motionless for several seconds and then gave a long, slow sigh. “All right, if you want to continue to fuck up your life, I can’t stop you. Just hear this, Kyler DeWitt: There’s not a damn thing more important than protecting your woman—even if it means protecting her from herself. That girl’s running scared. Every time you get too close, she pulls away. That’s got all the markings of fear. Maybe this time, instead of asking her why she left, ask her what she’s running from.”

With that, Hawke went out the door, leaving Kyler to brood in private. His mind rolled through what the other man had said, considering each bit in turn. Was it possible that Monica’s disappearing act had nothing to do with him? She’d certainly appeared as invested in their moment as he was and then, just as quickly, she turned ice cold. Why?

It didn’t take long for a plan to formulate in Kyler’s brain, and he sought out Drannon to get the necessary items to put it in play.

“Are you sure about this?” Drannon asked, glancing at Lacy as she fed their foster son, Michael cheese puffs. “I mean, she’s the one who left. What if she tells you to get lost?”

“I’m not going to give her the chance. And I’m stone sober, so there’s no reason to deny me my keys,” Kyler answered back.

“He’s right, Drannon. You promised him he could have his truck as long as he was sober,” Lacy reminded her husband softly. “And I personally think it’s romantic that he wants to go after her. I hope she’s worthy of it.”

Kyler met her eyes and smiled. “She is.”

Drannon huffed and tugged his key ring from his pocket. “Just do me one favor, man.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t get yourself arrested in Texas. I don’t want to have to explain that one to the FBI agents around here,” Drannon said resignedly.

With a loud whoop, Kyler took his keys and gave Drannon a quick fist bump. “You’ve got it man. I’ve walked that side of the law before, and it wasn’t for me. I’ll be back before you know it.”

His freedom secured, Kyler had one more stop to make before he could head for the airport. After a tense drive, he pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store where his mother worked and marched inside.

Amelia sat behind the register on a stool, her favorite evening television show on the screen beside her, and a magazine on the counter in front of her.

“Kyler, honey, this is a surprise.” She stood, and came out from around the counter to hug him.

“I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving town for a couple of days, Mama,” he said, feeling her stiffen in his arms at his words. “I have to go to Texas to find Monica. She left, and I can’t let her go until I have some answers.”

“Monica?”

“It’s a long story, and I want her with me when I tell it to you.”

Amelia pulled back, tears filling her eyes. “I knew one of these days you’d find the right woman.”

Kyler nodded. “You’re going to love her, Mama.”

“If she’s so wonderful, why’d you let her leave in the first place?” Amelia asked, a frown line appearing between her eyes.

“Because I love her.”

As confusing as his words sounded, they also made complete sense to him, and he was relieved when his mother just nodded. “That’s all she wrote then. Be safe, Son, I love you.”

“Love you too, Mama.”

Kyler left Montford, North Dakota, with a new reason to live. He had a love like the movies; he just had to retrieve his leading lady.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Monica turned away from her camera equipment to see two perfect male specimens headed her way across the gravel parking lot. Joseph McCoy was painfully beautiful and exquisitely built. It was one of the reasons the magazine loved putting him on the cover. Beside him, his best friend Beau was certainly no slouch. Beau just happened to have a sexier badass edge to him that kept the women around him itching to put him to the test.

“Hey! I wondered when the famous Joseph McCoy would finally grace me with his presence. You’re late, asshole,” she teased, accepting a tight hug from him and kissing his cheeks.

“That depends on whose clock you go by,” Joseph tossed back. “You remember Beau?”

“Of course! It’s good to see you again.”

“Likewise, mon ami. You’ve picked a perfect day for this photo shoot.” He tipped his hat to look up at the cloudless blue sky.

“If only I had control over that,” she replied with a laugh. “I’m afraid we’re still a bit ahead of the clock, though. The sun needs to set just a bit more for the perfect lighting.”

“See, I told you I wasn’t late. I was waiting for the perfect lighting.” Joseph gave her a brilliant smile, and she shook her head.

“So how have you been? How are Cady and the kiddo?” she asked, propping her ass on the bumper of her rental car. Joseph’s wife, Acadia, and his young daughter, Angela were the light of his life, and it was evident in the way his eyes warmed at the mention of them.

“Great! Angela’s growing fast. Cady sends her love and says you should come over tonight for dinner,” Joseph offered.

“Mmm…that sounds divine, but I have to get these shots edited and emailed tonight, so I have to pass.” Monica reached for her camera and slung the strap over her neck. “If I remember correctly there’s an old dirt bike track behind the ball fields, and I want to start there.”

“Anything you like, beautiful,” Beau replied, giving her a small bow and a flirty smile. If she didn’t know he was happily married, she might read more into it, but there was no way she’d take on his wife, Harley, for any amount of money. That woman was badass.

“So, what’s this article about?” she asked, walking between the two men.

“Actually it’s a bit of PR for RASCAL RODEOS. Our new marketing guy said it would help bring in new donors if we promoted the organization, and since the bigwigs at the magazine are always knocking on my door, I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone,” Joseph explained.

“That’s your charity project, right?” Monica stumbled, and Beau’s lightning fast reflexes were the only thing that kept her from hitting her knees in the dirt. “Shit. Thanks. Damn gopher holes.”

“My pleasure, but be careful, that might not be a gopher hole,” Beau warned.

Monica frowned, looking back at the small opening. “What else could it be?”

“Snake.”

The one word made her shiver, and she backed up into Joseph who laughed loudly and cupped her shoulders. “It’s all right, Monica; you’re safe enough with us. Besides, this ain’t your first time in Texas. You should know we have snakes around here by now.”

“Knowing it and experiencing it are two different things.” Turning away from the obtrusive interruption, she pointed at a rusted set of bleachers that had weeds and vines tangling through its bars like a roller coaster. “We’ll start there I think. Beau, you stand here, and Joseph you climb up on this one. Yeah, perfect.”

Without another thought to the project or the men in front of her beyond her job, Monica let her creative side spill out and take over. This was her passion. Capturing something beyond what the naked eye could see. In Joseph and Beau, she could see the strength and determination that had made them both successful and allowed them to overcome their personal hardships, but she also saw the compassion and heart that drove them to build more for the future.

They were the kind of men who didn’t let anything stop them, the kind she’d always envisioned herself making a life with.

Kyler’s face filled her brain, and she froze, her heart clenching in her chest as she fought to get her focus back.

“Mon, are we about done here?” Joseph called out. “My belly’s growling something fierce.”

A glance around was all she needed to remind her she’d nearly used up her light, and she pushed aside thoughts of relationships and men in general. She had a job to do.

“Just about. I want to get one more, this time with you two back to back, arms crossed. Yep, just like that.”

They walked back across the empty ball diamonds as the sun finished setting, and once again, Joseph asked her to dinner.

“I really can’t tonight. Rain check?” she asked.

“Tomorrow night then, and I’m not taking no for an answer. You’ll have emailed the images in, and you have no excuse not to come.” He gave her a fierce hug, and kissed the top of her head. “It’s been good to see you again, Monica. You should visit more often.”

“I would, but then these Texas cowboys would get the wrong idea and start trying to court me. You know me; I can’t stomach the thought of being roped into something permanent,” she joked, trying not to cringe at how very real her words were.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a free bird,” Beau replied. “My Nada is a free bird. It just took the right man, with the right rope.”

Joseph snorted out a laugh. “I’m pretty sure she’s the one with the rope in her hands, and the loop is wrapped around your balls, buddy.”

Beau punched his friend in the arm as they all laughed and said their goodbyes, Monica promising to visit the McCoy ranch the next day for dinner. She didn’t bother trying to explain the very real possibility that she’d be reassigned before then, choosing to leave it until the next day to deal with.

Once she’d loaded everything in the trunk of the rental car, and backed out, the guys followed her out of the parking lot in their oversized four-wheel drive trucks. After a quarter of a mile, she turned into the motel parking lot, and they went on by, honking as they passed. She should have known Joseph would make sure she got back to the motel okay. He was that kind of guy.

Born and raised in Texas, Joseph wasn’t just a cowboy and philanthropist, he was a reformed adrenaline junkie and a walking, talking miracle. He seemed to have the perfect life these days, and she envied him his happy family.

Sitting in her car, she stared at the muted red door of her hotel room, as she let her mind wander into her memory bank.

 

“Monica, wake up.”

Her brain shifted from the asleep to awake position slowly, and she rubbed at her eyes blinking in the dim lighting of her bedroom. Her mother stood over her, clenching tissues in her hands tightly, her cheeks stained with tears.

“Monica, honey, you have to get up and get dressed.”

The sound of something smashing into a wall on the opposite side of the house had her sitting up more quickly and tossing her covers back.

“What’s happening?” she hissed back to her mother, keeping her voice quiet.

“Daddy’s having one of his spells, and I think it’s best if you and I go spend the night at Aunt Rita’s.” Monica’s mother helped her out of her pajamas and into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt with a smiling horse on the front. The horse image boasted the words “Don’t worry, be happy,” and Monica wanted to laugh at the irony as another crash sounded through the house.

“Mama, I’m scared,” she whimpered, and her mother bent, hugging her close.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re always safe with me, sweetheart.”

 

Her mother had carried her away from their home that night and into the darkness. For weeks they’d run, barely staying ahead of her father’s fury. When he’d caught up to them just outside Boston, he’d beat Nyla almost to death. It was by the grace of God that someone heard Monica’s cries for help from that dingy motel room that night and called the police. Her father had been locked up ever since, and her mother had suffered permanent disabilities from her injuries. While she and her mother had returned to their home in Philadelphia, Monica had never been at peace there, and the moment she’d had an opportunity to leave it behind, she’d packed her bags.

How ironic that now she sat in front of another motel room—this one slightly less dingy than the one in her nightmares—and lamented her lack of stability. If nothing else, she’d put herself in this position. Kyler had offered her the world, and she’d turned him down. More than once. What a moron she was.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

Kyler sat in his truck waiting for Monica to get out of her car until he couldn’t wait any longer. Now that he’d accepted it himself, he was desperate to tell her how he felt before someone else swooped in and stole her. God, what if she’d been seeing someone else, and the last several days were just a wild affair for her? What if he was the other man?

Jealous rage making him blind to the obvious, Kyler stormed across the parking lot and banged on her car window. The fact that she turned teary eyes up to him, and her face was white as a ghost, made him immediately contrite.

She stared at him as if he were a stranger, then suddenly, her eyes cleared and narrowed. Her mouth moved, and he heard his name through the window.

He took a step back as she opened her car door and stood. “Oh my God, Kyler, you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here?”

“Hello love.” He reached for her.

She went willingly into his arms, and the jealousy burning in his belly fizzled.

“Really? What are you doing here, Ky?” She pulled back so that their eyes met, and he knew he’d made the right choice flying to Texas.

“I’ve been doing some thinking, and if you can’t stand to stay in one place with me, then I’ll have to learn how to travel with you.”

“Ky, I’m not asking you to give up your life—”

He blanched. “Are you fucking kidding? Monica, you are my life.”

This time, she pulled out of his grip and reached back inside the car for her purse, putting distance between them. “I haven’t even been in your life for years. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let things start up between us again. It wasn’t fair.”

“Don’t do that, Monica. Don’t pretend it was meaningless,” he growled the words as he followed her to the door of her room.

“Of course, it wasn’t meaningless. Nothing about our time together could be meaningless.” She fidgeted with her key card as if she was hesitant to let him in her room. That made him sick to his stomach. “I care about you.”

Kyler wasn’t letting her get away with lying to them both anymore, pressing forward, he tipped her chin up so that their lips were just millimeters apart, and murmured, “Say it. Just this once, tell me.”

Her purple eyes grew wide, and then the pupils dilated as her body went soft against him. “I…Kyler, I—”

“I love you. Say it. I love you, Monica. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you in the bar that night. Hair up in that crazy twisty thing you like, high heels in your purse, and lipstick on your teeth.”

“I did not have lipstick on my teeth,” she protested. When she started to back away, he followed, pressing her against the motel room door.

“You did, and I didn’t care. You were the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen.”

“You love me because I’m pretty?”

Kyler wanted to laugh and scream at the same time. “No! Damn it woman. Can’t you take a compliment? Why are you so determined to push me away?”

Her lavender eyes shuttered and grew glossy. “Because I need my space. I don’t want to be trapped.”

Stunned, Kyler stepped back, his hands dropping to his sides. “You feel trapped by me?”

The pain that roared through him left a wound he was afraid would never heal. He loved the free side of Monica. The woman who could take off at the drop of a hat for a new adventure, with no plan or process. How could she feel trapped by him?”

“No! Yes! Oh my God! I don’t know.” Her hands were trembling and she dropped the key card onto the concrete walkway. Kyler bent to pick it up, and held it in the air for a moment, both of them staring at it in silence. After a few moments of awkward tension, he offered it to her.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.

She shook her head. “No. Please don’t.”

Relief coursed through him as she took the key card and opened the door. Together they entered the small room, both unsure what exactly was happening. Kyler moved to sit on the bed, only to second-guess it and end up in the one uncomfortable chair in the room. Monica put her purse on the dresser and then stammered, “I need to get my camera bag. I’ll just be a second.”

Before he could offer to retrieve it, she was out the door, leaving him sitting in her room alone. Looking around, he noted there was absolutely nothing personal of hers visible. Nothing to show the room was occupied at all. Surely she had clothes with her? Why the effort to tuck them away from view?

When she returned with her gear and carefully put it on the bed, she appeared wary of him, and it drove him nuts. All he wanted to do was hold her, and reassure her that he’d never hurt her like she hurt him. But that was the point wasn’t it? She’d hurt him. And then she’d come back in his life, only to hurt him again? What was he doing? Maybe he was the insane one for continuing to pursue her.

Taking a deep breath, he held his hands out helplessly. “I’m not here for anything but you, Monica. I came for you. Last time you left, I let you go, thinking I was doing the right thing for both of us. But seeing you again, having you back in my life, in my bed, I just can’t let you leave me again like that.”

“I didn’t plan to,” she said, her arms wrapping around her. “I have to go where the work takes me. It’s not about you.”

“I get that, but there’s more to it than that. You say you’re scared of being trapped, but I’ve never put limitations on you. I’ve never asked you to stay in one place forever.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted. You said you loved me.” She fiddled with her hair again, letting it fall in a glorious sheet over her shoulder. His fingers itched to weave through it.

“Loving someone doesn’t mean holding them hostage. I love you as you are. I wish I knew more about you, but there’s nothing that could change the way our souls connect. That’s something far bigger than love.”

She nodded, and his heart swelled just a little. He wasn’t sure if she was agreeing or just accepting what he was saying.

Continuing his pursuit of her was like asking to be whipped again, but he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling off his tongue. The idea of losing her was inconceivable. “If you want a house with a white picket fence, and a dog, I’ll find a way to get it for you. If you want the moon, I’ll build the rocket. If you need to travel every day for the rest of our lives, I’ll carry the bags. Just don’t push me out.”

“I’m not sure I know how to let you in.”

Kyler wanted to shout his triumph to the world; instead, he just grinned and pushed to his feet, moving to her side and pulling her down to sit next to him on the bed. “That’s okay, it doesn’t have to be overnight. I know you, but I want to know you. Tell me, why don’t you have a permanent place somewhere?’

“Because it’s a waste of money. I would only be there a couple of days a month at most.” She explained, “That’s why I told you it wasn’t a good idea to start something with me. I knew I’d have to hurt you eventually. I hate that I have to hurt you.”

“Because you love me.”

“Because I love you, you big asshole.” She dropped her face into her hands as the tears broke free. “I love you, but I can’t risk feeling trapped again. I can’t…”

“Why? How? I don’t understand.”

She fell against him, and he instinctually embraced her protectively. “I know. Me either. It’s like, just when I’m happy and everything is going right, I suddenly feel claustrophobic. Like I can’t breathe, and I need to get away. To escape.”

Kyler was silent as he absorbed what she was saying. He knew so little about her past. “Tell me.”

She finally nodded, tears still slipping down her cheeks. “You know my father’s in prison.” He nodded, using his thumbs to wipe the wetness away. “What you don’t know is that he’s there for trying to kill my mother.”

Confused, he bit his tongue to avoid slowing her confession. She’d been holding this in for far too long.

“My father used to beat my mother and I, especially when he was drinking.”

In Kyler’s mind’s eye, he saw the empty beer bottles that used to litter his cabin, and heard Drannon’s scolding tone telling him to get his shit together. Monica hadn’t seen him at his lowest, darkest point, and he knew now that if she had, she’d never give him another shot. She was still trying to escape her own fear.

“I’d never hurt you, Monica. I hope you know that.”

She nodded again, crying harder. “My mom finally got the guts to leave him, and we spent what felt like forever in hiding. Trying to avoid him. When he found us, he beat her almost to death. That was how he ended up in prison. I haven’t seen him since his last parole hearing when I testified against him.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Kyler suddenly felt like an ass for pushing her.

“I’m not good at commitment. My longest relationship was four months.”

His head cocked in question, he smiled. “Because you love me.”

Her purple eyes rolled, and she snorted out a laugh. “When you flew to Philadelphia with me to go to my granddad’s funeral—a man you hadn’t met, and who meant nothing to you—it freaked me out. All I could think about was my father telling my mother that he’d find her anywhere she went. That she could never escape him.”

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was trying to support you.”

She nodded. “I know, and I appreciated it. But the little girl inside me couldn’t let go of the fear. I panicked. I jumped at the chance to get out, and in doing so, I hurt you. I’m so sorry, Kyler.”

“I traveled over a thousand miles because I couldn’t stand the thought of letting you go again. The last time I let you go, something inside me broke, and it’s taken me years to even start healing it. But the moment you walked back into my world, it was like all the mountains I’d had to climb were worth it. I could see a reason to live again.”

Monica lifted her face. “I’m your reason to live? After everything I did to you?”

“You didn’t do anything to me that I can’t forgive and forget. And besides, life isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you react to it.” He grinned when she snorted and rolled her eyes again. “What? I’ve been to enough NA meetings to give meaningless advice every day for the next fifty or sixty years.”

“That’s not enough,” she whispered.

Kyler’s stomach dropped, and he gaped at her. Surely, she wasn’t pushing him away after all of this.

“I’m going to need way more than sixty years out of you, Kyler DeWitt.” She leaned in and kissed him, her hands coming up to tangle in his hair.

He kissed her back with everything he had in him, thrilled to hear her finally accept the inevitable. They didn’t have all the answers yet, and maybe they never would, but he’d be damned if he’d sit around like a bottle collecting dust waiting on her to come back to him. If he had to live out of a motel, and carry her camera gear around like a pack mule, he’d do it just to be at her side for the rest of forever.

“Marry me,” he said against her mouth.

“How about we start with living and working together,” she responded, letting her head fall back as he kissed his way down her throat.

With a firm but gentle shove, he forced her onto her back, pulling at her shirt. “Clothes off.”

“Hmm, we’re going to have to talk about this Neanderthal side of you,” she grumbled as she pulled her top off and tossed it to the floor. “I can’t decide if I like it.”

Kyler’s eyebrow rose as he opened the fly of his jeans. Her eyes locked on the bulge behind the denim and she swallowed. “Clothes off,” he repeated.

The flush of pink that covered her chest and cheeks reassured him she definitely did like his inner caveman, and he set to work proving it. Once they were both naked, he flipped her onto her stomach and pressed kisses down her spine until she was squirming. Nipping her plump ass cheek, he gave her a smack, and then pulled her up onto her knees.

His cock head found the heart of her desire like a homing beacon, and he shoved his way into her body in one swift thrust, loving the tug of their bodies on his piercing.

“Oh my God!” Monica gasped, her back arching and her head flying as she rocked back into him, taking him fully into her core.

“Fuck me, baby. You know you like this cock, take what you want.” He grabbed a fistful of her hair, and using it for leverage, tipped his hips upward and thrust deep. Her instant shudder told him he had the right spot, so he repeated the motion again and again until she was doing more work than he was as she reached for her orgasm.

“Shit, Kyler! I need to come, please!” she begged, her fingers clenching at the bedspread beneath her.

Sliding his hand under her hips, he found the stiff button of her clit, and pinched it. It was as if he’d triggered a door, and her pussy muscles clenched down on him so hard, he hissed out a breath, even as she screamed his name.

Together they exploded in a jumble of dirty words and trembling body parts, Kyler collapsing over Monica’s back as her knees gave out and she slid to her stomach on the bed.

“I’m not sure my heart will survive decades of that,” she muttered, her eyes fluttering as he pulled his cock from her body.

“They say aerobic exercise is good for you,” he replied, rolling to the side onto his back. She immediately curled into him, head on his shoulder, leg over his hips.

“All right, twist my arm why don’t ya,” she teased, her fingers tweaking the metal ring in his nipple.

After several minutes, they’d both managed to get their breathing back to normal, and Kyler’s stomach growled loudly.

“When did you get to Texas?” Monica asked.

“This morning. I had to wait for an early morning flight because I missed the last one of the night.” Enjoying the goosebumps that appeared under his touch, his fingers drifted up and down her arm. “After I landed, I came straight here to find you, but you were already gone.”

“How’d you know where I was?” she asked.

“I didn’t exactly, but Jeanette told Hawke what town you’d gone to, and when I got on Google, there were only a couple of motels nearby. I started with the one that seemed the most logical for the price. Once I’d hit all the motels, I just started driving around town looking for you. Thank God you called Jeanette at lunch time to talk, because I’d probably still be driving in circles.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Stalker.”

“Yep, but there’s only one woman I’d ever go to such lengths for.” He kissed her forehead. “I couldn’t leave things that way.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I was already kicking myself for how I left.” She lifted her mouth for a kiss that quickly turned slow and sexy. When they parted for a breath, she put her hand up to stop him from continuing. “While I’d love to do this all night long, I do have a job to finish.”

He nodded. “I’ll go find us something to eat while you get to work. The sooner you’re finished, the sooner I can have you all to myself.”

She laughed at his antics as he rushed to find his clothes and throw them on. Just as he was about to leave, she called out his name making him turn back. “I just wanted to tell you I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said, with a wink. The door might have shut between them, but their hearts remained connected through all barriers, and he had a definite skip to his step as he left to find food.