“What the hell just happened?” Linc blinked at the front door, willing it to open and Ashley to say she’d changed her mind. Was just too confused and ask for forgiveness.

It didn’t open.

Fuck.

He stepped toward the door, but a small, firm grip circled his arm and held tight.

“Don’t.” Cady squeezed when he made to move, then her husband backed her up by blocking his escape, and Logan joined in. “She needs to be alone.”

Like hell.

“She needs me to talk to her. I can get through to her. I know I can.”

“No. That is the wrong thing to do. It will only push her further from you. Is that what you want?” Still holding his arm, Cady moved in front of him, her dark Creole gaze full of knowing and concern.

“No, of course not,” he replied. “But I also don’t want her walking home.”

“It is still light out and the walk will do her good. Trust me,” Cady said, her gaze more knowing than concerned now. “Ashley was the reason I was here tonight, Linc. I knew it the second I touched her.”

He frowned at that admittance. “Not Mac?”

Relaxing her grip, she released him and shook her head. “He was just an extra. I could’ve picked up the phone to tell you about him. But that feeling, that urge that drew me here was real. And now we all know why.”

Stef stepped closer. “What exactly happened to Ashley?”

“Yeah,” Cloe frowned. “She’s never done that. What was it?”

“Panic attack,” Linc replied in unison with his brother, having both been witnesses to them before. “Stef, can you go after her, please?”

“Of course.” She nodded to everyone, then rushed from the house.

He felt a flicker of relief, knowing someone would be with Ashley. He didn’t want her to be alone. What if it happened again and no one was there?

His mind seized and chest crushed as if in a vise.

Logan blew out a breath. “It’s my fault.”

Damn right. If the ass would’ve just kept his fucking mouth shut about deployment, none of this would’ve happened. Ash would still be here.

Still want to be with him.

“No, it isn’t, Logan,” Cady said. “Don’t you see? Ashley’s a ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before she would’ve been faced with Linc’s mortality. It would’ve happened sooner or later.”

“Later was better for me,” he grumbled, thrusting his hands through his hair, his chest squeezed so tight it hurt to breathe. “Now what?”

“You let her be.”

“What?” His head snapped back, as he lowered his hands. “I can’t do that.” Fuck, no.

“You have to,” Cady insisted, once again setting her hand on his arm. “Linc. Listen to me. Ashley needs to do this on her own. She needs to overcome the obstacle on her own or it will always be there. Always be in the way.”

Shit.

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but it made sense.

“Do you understand?”

He nodded and exhaled, really fucking hating what he was about to say. “I need to set her free in order to keep her.”

Cady nodded, patting his arm.

But saying it and doing it were two different things. And just like Ashley claimed she wasn’t strong enough to stay in the relationship, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to stay out of it.

An image of her face, pale, sweating…as she struggled for breath, flashed through his mind.

He couldn’t be the cause of that again.

So for her sake, for her peace of mind, he would let her be.

***

It was three days before Ashley ventured from her cabin. Stupid. Yeah, but she just couldn’t bring herself to see anyone. To socialize.

To accidentally run into Linc.

And, bless him, he was giving her what she wanted. Leaving her alone, despite the fact he hadn’t had a chance to say much.

She’d hurt him. So badly. And it was killing her that she did, but in all honesty, it was better it happened now than a few weeks or months from now, when her mind got around to registering the fact he was in the military and risked his life like her late husband.

And she knew…Ashley knew he’d flat out quit the guard rather than lose her, but she’d never, ever force him to make that choice. She’d never feel right about stopping him from saving someone’s life so their loved ones wouldn’t have to go through what she’d gone through. No. She would never do that. So, they really had no future together.

It was a shame she hadn’t had the clarity of mind to realize that before she let him into her heart. Again.

“Who wants more ice cream?” Chloe asked, regaining Ashley’s attention by waving a scooper at her and Stef, as the three of them sat at Chloe’s kitchen island eating the contents of the freezer since the power was still out from last’s night’s dangerous storms.

Every once in a while her friend’s gaze filled with a flash of anxiety, and Ashley couldn’t help but wonder if she was the cause.

God, she hoped not.

It was bad enough she was hurting Linc, and worrying her uncle, who’d dropped by every day with the need, or excuse, to spend time with her before she left. Deep down, she knew he was checking on her, but she couldn’t fault him for caring.

Or her friends.

The sisters had come knocking on her door an hour ago, insisting they needed help with an important task they couldn’t handle alone. Thinking it had something to do with the damage from the storms at either Chloe’s house or her uncle’s place, she hadn’t bothered to change out of her yoga pants and T-shirt—one of Linc’s with McCall printed across the chest. It was from the pile of clothes he’d yet to collect.

Turned out, the help the girls had wanted was much sweeter…and fattening. She was on her second bowl of chocolate marshmallow, and only managed to get two drips on Linc’s shirt.

So far.

But it was okay. She had time to clean it. He would, no doubt, wait until she left in five days to grab the stuff he’d left at her cabin for the nights he’d stayed. Once again, the crippling pain that was never far away rolled through her chest.

God, she missed him.

She missed his teasing, and how he made her laugh. And his kisses and how he made her cry out. And his arms wrapped around her tight and how he made her feel whole.

But thinking about it was a moot point. And a painful one at that.

Ashley had thought about upping her departure date, but she wasn’t in any hurry to go back to California. Heck, she wasn’t really happy with her law practice.

If she learned anything during her stay in Texas, she learned that she loved to create with her hands. Loved to turn something damaged into something whole again.

Her mind immediately jumped to Linc.

Dammit. Everything sucked. Everything was messed up. She had stopped working on Linc’s house after her panic attack. And it stunk, because they were only one room away from finishing. Although, it was only paint and some trim. Linc probably finished it by now, so at least she felt guiltless about not finishing her job.

“So, come on, eat up.” Chloe shoveled more ice cream into her dish.

“Oh my God, Chloe! That’s my third helping. At this rate, I’ll only fit in yoga pants.” She moved her bowl away from the mad scooper, who turned her attention to her sister.

“I’ll have more butter pecan, please.” Stef pushed her half-empty bowl forward. “I love yoga pants. We have a very special relationship. They get me.”

“Hah!” Chloe laughed, but Ashley could still sense an underlying tension. “I get it. They always have your ass.”

Stef chuckled. “Indeed. Always have me covered, unless, you know, I bend down at Walmart or something.”

The ice cream in Ashley’s throat went down the wrong way as she half-choked, half-laughed at her friend. Damn. It felt good to have something to do to take her mind of her pain.

Which you caused…

With an inward sigh, she wiped her face on the napkin Stef pushed her way just as the lights flickered on and the refrigerator started to hum.

“Thank the Lord.” Chloe immediately traded her scooper for the remote near her elbow and turned on the TV above the fireplace across the room.

Images of the storm’s destruction filled the screen, as Hick rushed in from the back door. “Oh, good, you know the power’s back on. Hi, Ashley.” He walked to her and kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry. I’m sure the guys are fine.”

Worry?

“Guys?” Her bruised heart dropped to her knees and meddled with her strength. “What are you talking about?”

She glanced at Stef, but the girl had moved to drop an arm around her sister, who was standing in front of the TV with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

God, she knew that stance. It was one she’d adopted every time there was talk of missions or soldier deaths. A tremor rushed down her spine as everything inside Ashley stiffened again.

Her uncle set his hand over hers, and the room came back into focus. “The National Guard was called out to help. It’s pretty bad, from what my radio was broadcasting.”

Oh, God.

Linc.

An invisible force strangled her chest.

“You didn’t know?”

Frowning, she shook head. “No. I don’t have TV or radio at the cabin.” And she hadn’t turned her phone on in a few days. If she talked to Linc she’d cave, so it remained off.

Her phone…

Her chest rose on her inhale. Hand shaking, she fished it out of her purse hooked on the back of her stool, and turned it on.

It never dawned on her that the storm meant Linc would be activated. Please let him be okay. Even with the storm over, the live power lines and gas leaks where a constant danger in the aftermath. She willed it with all her might. And Logan.

When the screen came to life, she checked her missed calls. Two from her partner, and one missed call and voicemail from…Linc. She checked the date and time.

This morning.

Anger aimed at herself ate at her gut as she held the phone to her ear and listened to him telling her he’d been activated, and for her to head to the storm shelter behind the main house if the weather turned ugly again.

He sounded exhausted. She hoped he had his head on straight. God, if she caused him to miscalculate or something…

She hit redial but it went straight to voicemail. Shoot. She hung up. What she had to say was best said in person. Besides, she needed to hear his voice to estimate her damage.

Ashley rubbed at the ache in her chest, but she refused to have another attack. Not again. Keep calm. Breathe. She opened her mouth and managed to suck in a few mouthfuls of air.

He’s okay, the thought came out of nowhere. Everything is going to be okay.

She heard Cady’s voice as if the woman was standing right next to her, but she wasn’t. Ashley looked.

“Why aren’t they saying anything about the guard?” Chloe’s anxious, wobbly tone reverberated around the room and knocked Ashley into action.

In a few strides she was at her friend’s other side, reaching for the woman’s hand. “He’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Cady told us. Remember?”

Chloe blinked and turned to look at her. “You think this is what she meant? I thought it had to do with you and your attack.”

Ashley squeezed her friend’s hand. “I think this was part of it, too.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I’m not panicking,” she replied. “I want to, my heart is in my throat. My head and chest hurt. And I swear, if Linc gets…” She wasn’t strong enough to finish that thought or sentence. “They’re going to be okay. The guys are out there helping people, civilians, so they can be okay. So they can return to their loved ones watching, and hoping, and praying like us.”

“You’re right.” Chloe straightened her spine and lifted her chin. “I knew he would be doing this sort of thing. And I’m proud of him. I am. It’s just so…”

“Hard,” she supplied. “Debilitatingly hard.”

Chloe sniffed. “Yeah. That. I don’t know how you did it when your husband was deployed. I’m not going to do so well the next time Logan goes.”

That meant Linc would, too.

She tightened her hold. “You’ll do fine. And do what every family member does when their loved one deploys. You worry on the inside, and smile on the outside, supporting him because you love him. And at the end of the day, you realize you wouldn’t give any of it up for the time you get to spend together.”

Stef leaned forward to glance around her sister at her. “Is that what you’re going to do with Linc? Cause, it seems to me you don’t regret your time with your husband.”

She didn’t. Not one second.

“You’re in love with Lincoln McCall, so, I don’t see you not supporting him now, either.”

Ashley sucked in a breath as the truth in that statement hit her hard. She was in love with Linc. Had been for some time. That’s why the thought of him dying hurt so bad and nearly crippled her mind.

Her pulse kicked into high gear as everything became perfectly clear. Oh. My. God. “I’m an idiot.”

Stef’s snort, mixed with Chloe’s bark of laughter and her uncle’s chuckle as the three of them smiled at her.

“With a capital I, but you had good reason to be scared, so don’t go too hard on yourself,” Chloe said, squeezing Ashley’s hand this time. “This support thing is tough on the nerves. And heart.”

She nodded her gaze straying to the screen, searching for a glimpse of Linc in the footage of soldiers sifting through rubble of what was once a small Texas town. “Is that close?”

Her Texas geography wasn’t up to snuff.

“’bout an hour northwest,” her uncle replied, handing Chloe and her a coffee.

Bless him. She released her friend to hold the mug in both hands while she sipped the much needed drink. Heat trickled through her body, warming the deep chill that had settled inside.

“Would I be able to get there?”

“What? No. You can’t.” Her uncle frowned as he shook his head. “The roads to and from are shut down. Only first responders can get though. I heard it on the radio.”

Made sense, but didn’t help her.

“Why did you want to go there?” Stef asked, nodding a thanks to her uncle for the mug he handed her. “You want to see Linc?”

“Yes.” She nodded, walking to the island to set her mug down before she began to pace. “I can’t stand the thought of him in this situation with my issues on his mind. They need a clear head when they’re on duty. Dammit.” She halted to rub her temples. “I’ve messed with his head.”

A soft hand touched her shoulder. “Hey, it’s not your fault. No one blames you for what you did,” Chloe insisted.

“It was the shock of hearing about what took place overseas.” She drew in a ragged breath. “I need to talk to him. To make sure he’s okay.” To let him know she was sorry. And that she loved him. She really, really wanted him to know that.

She tried his cell again.

Straight to voicemail.

“Probably a downed tower.” Chloe held up her phone and sighed. “I’ve tried, too.”

With all access to the town cut off and no phone coverage, Ashley settled on her only option. “Who wants to take me to the armory?”

“I will.” Chloe shut the TV off and grabbed her purse.

Stef set her mug down and straightened her shirt. “I’m not about to miss this.”

“I’ll drive. We can all fit in my car,” her uncle stated, marching out the door with the phone to his ear.

She hadn’t heard it ring, but then again, she wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders. Hadn’t been since her breakup with Linc. Hopefully, with a little luck and a lot of groveling, she was about to fix that.

It was five in the afternoon, by the time they reached the armory. The lot was packed with civilian vehicles and several Humvees and two large deuce and a halfs dropping off soldiers and picking up more. It was a controlled chaos, with some guys leaning against their vehicles, and others strolling into the armory.

“They work in shifts,” her uncle explained as he parked a few spots from Linc’s truck, cracking the windows a little to alleviate the stuffiness from the unseasonably warm day.

Shoot. What if Linc just went back out?

“And until activation is over, they don’t leave the armory between rotations,” her uncle continued. “They could be here for days. Weeks. Depends on the amount of damage.”

Chloe patted her shoulder from the backseat where she sat with her sister. “I can find out if they’re here. I’ll be right back.”

Ashley watched her friend approach several soldiers leaning on a parked Humvee. One smiled, recognition lighting his face as he stepped forward to hug Chloe.

“He’s cute,” Stef observed from behind, interest alive in her tone. “Maybe my sister will put in a good word for me.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m pretty sure he’s taken,” her uncle stated. “He was at Amity last year with his wife and kids for some kind of birthday thing for one of the retired colonels.”

“Balls,” Stef grumbled. “Why are all the good ones taken?”

Ashley chuckled, while watching the man nod before Chloe headed back, a smile on her face and the universal thumbs up signal as she reached the car.

“They’re due in next.” Chloe’s smile widened. “In about an hour.”

That gave her some time to compose herself. She glanced down at her T-shirt and yoga pants, and stilled. “Shoot. Probably should’ve changed first.”

“I think you look great,” Chloe said, climbing back in the car.

“Yeah,” Stef agreed. “Besides, guys love a girl in yoga pants.”

True. At least, with Linc. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her whenever she wore them. Maybe they’ll work in her favor. She needed the boost. Needed the extra ammo.

Needed to see him already.