“So, what the fuck are we going to do about this?”

It was at least the dozenth time that question had been asked since we’d returned from the run a few hours before, and we were no closer to finding an answer to it. The five of us were gathered around the fire, staring into the flames as they flickered and cast gruesome shadows on the walls around us. Anton and Luke were both sitting down and I had no idea how they could keep still. I felt as though my head was going to explode, the only way to work off all that energy being to pace up and down the floor over and over again until something gave.

“I’m going to make something to eat,” I muttered, turning away from the four of them. I had a feeling that they were having trouble saying what they wanted to in front of me, maybe worried that I would take offense at one of their plans. I had a creeping suspicion that they were already thinking about getting rid of me and I was doing my best not to let the thought of that get to me too much. They would have been right to do it. They must have seen now, if they couldn’t before, that I was a major liability and keeping me around was only going to land them in the center of pack warfare that they had no interest in.

I stalked over to the kitchen and started clattering pots and pans around. I had never been an amazing cook, but I knew how to throw together a stew out of whatever had been brought in on the latest hunt, and I delved into the freezer to bring out the chunks of caribou that were still sitting within. The shadow of a smile passed over my face as I remembered how good it had felt to hunt this thing, how at home I’d felt amongst the four of them then. I slammed a heavy pan down on the stove and switched it on, rooting in the cupboard for some stock and vegetables to go with the meat. And, as I did so, my ears pricked and I listened in to the conversation that was finally taking place in the other room.

“We can stay and fight our ground,” Luke growled – even if I hadn’t recognized his voice, I would have known it was his idea, since he was the only one with the sheer arrogance to think they could pull that off. “I’m not leaving this place.”

“There’s no way we’ll be able to fight off the lot of them,” Anton pointed out. “Even if it is on our own turf.”

“Couldn’t we try and negotiate something?” Rafe suggested, the sound of his pacing footsteps echoing through the room. “We could offer them passage through the land without disturbance and hopefully that would keep them off our backs-”

“You really think we could offer one half of this fight safe passage?” Ethan pointed out. “As soon as we did that, we’d have taken a side. And I don’t want to take sides in this thing.”

“So maybe we go to that other pack?” Luke suggested. “The Kellums?”

My heart looped and skipped a beat when I heard the name come out of his mouth. I was still so far from over the loss of my pack, and it became so obvious when he spoke their name aloud. I focused in on chopping an onion, hoping I could pass off the grimace on my face as a result of its fumes.

“And what?” Anton demanded. “We sell them out?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Luke replied. “We sell them out and hope that the Kellums take care of them. Problem solved.”

“And what makes you think the Kellums are going to win this thing?” Rafe demanded. “What makes you so sure?”

“This other pack must want what they have,” Luke pointed out. “So it has to be good, right?”

“That’s some pretty thin reasoning,” Ethan shot back, his voice low and dangerous. I finished chopping up the vegetables and poured them into the pot, where they hit the metal with a light sizzle.

“So what the fuck do you suggest then?” Luke turned to Ethan, clearly pissed at his lack of solutions. “I’m the one actually trying to figure things out here.”

“We need to get out of here,” Anton cut in.

My heart came to a stop in my chest.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Luke replied, phrasing it as a statement more than a question. “What do you want, for the five of us to run away?”

“I don’t think we’ve got any other choice,” Anton replied regretfully. “Look, it’s not just…us that we have to worry about anymore, is it?”

I could feel their eyes on me and shifted slightly, pretending that I couldn’t hear the conversation. That my chest wasn’t pounding with guilt at the knowledge that they would leave this all behind for me in a moment. We had only known each other a few days – were they already this invested in me?

“So, we just leave this place?” Rafe didn’t sound happy either. “This is our home, Anton. I don’t see why we should be chased out of it-”

“Because if we stay, then one or more of us is going to end up dead,” Anton shot back bluntly. “You hear me? And I don’t want that. I won’t let that happen. Sorry if the rest of you are happy to sit here and wait for those two packs to descend on us, but I have no interest in-”

“So where do we go?” Ethan asked. He at least sounded a little more amenable to the idea. I looked around this place and felt a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving it behind. Surely, Anton wouldn’t be so quick to abandon it just like that?

“This is our home,” Rafe pointed out. “Our land. I’m not giving it up without a fight.”

“It’s not just us we’re putting in danger if we stay,” Anton reminded him, and I felt their eyes on me again. And this time, I knew I couldn’t just stand back and let them tear their lives apart over me. I strode back through to the living room, tears shining in my eyes from what I could at least pretend was just the onion, and faced the four of them. Rafe and Luke looked pissed, while Anton and Ethan seemed resigned, but not one of them looked actually happy about the decision they seemed certain they had to make.

“Please don’t go because of me,” I begged. “I’ll stay here and fight with you. I want to. You guys have…you’ve given me a home, and I don’t want to give it up because of me-”

“We don’t have a choice,” Anton cut me off, eyeing me with an expression I couldn’t read. “We need to pack as much into rucksacks as we can and get the fuck out of here before they come back.”

“How long do you think we have?” Ethan asked, and Anton shook his head.

“A matter of hours. Maybe a full day,” he replied. “Not long. They must have known something was off when they ran into us in the forest, and it won’t be long until they figure out what it was.”

“What are you talking about?” Luke snarled.

“You know what I mean.” Anton gave him a meaningful look that I assumed he was meant to glean motive from.

“I’m begging you not to do this on my behalf.” I stepped in between them again, looking Anton straight in the eye and imploring him as best I could. “Seriously. This is too much. You haven’t known me that long, and I can’t ask for this from you four-”

“You’re not asking for anything,” Anton shot back. “I’m making this decision.”

“So this doesn’t even go to a vote?” Rafe demanded, and Anton shook his head grimly. His mouth was set in a hard line and he didn’t look happy about the decision he had to make.

“I’m the alpha and I’m telling all of you that we need to get out of here as soon as we can,” he replied. “I know places we can go, to hide out for a little while. But those guys are smart. They’re going to figure everything out soon enough and I don’t want to be here when they do.”

“What are they going to figure out?” I argued. “They couldn’t find my scent out there, why would they-”

“They’ll head into the town,” Anton cut me off. “And when they’re there, they’re going to talk to people. Maybe about us. Maybe about the fact that no one has ever seen any of us with a woman before and that there isn’t a female member of our clan.”

“And what?” Rafe lifted his chin and stared at his brother, challenging him, meeting his gaze steadily. “What then?”

“And then they’re going to come back and try to find out who we’re harboring here,” he pointed out. “If they haven’t already put the pieces together. They must know by now that you got kicked out of the clan, right?”

He turned to me and I eyed him helplessly. I had no idea what they knew or didn’t know.

“I don’t…know.” I shook my head.

“You were kicked out for helping that kid, weren’t you?” he reminded me. “So if he got back to his clan in one piece, then they’ll have figured out that someone got in trouble for it.”

“Shit,” I hissed to myself, looking at the floor. I didn’t want this. It felt as though the perfect little status quo that we’d managed to build for ourselves was falling apart around me, and it was all thanks to me and the nightmare I’d dragged into these men’s lives as soon as they’d first laid eyes on me. It didn’t feel fair. None of it was.

“They couldn’t pick up on who you were because of the confused scents when they were out there with us earlier,” Anton went on. “But it’s not going to take them long to figure out who you are and what you’re doing here.”

“I’ll go.” I looked him dead in the eye again. Even as the words came out of my mouth, I was praying to myself that he would contradict me, that he would ask me to stay – but if he’d taken me up on the offer, I would have packed a few things and left right then and there. The scent of the stew was rich as it wafted from the stove to my nose, but it turned my stomach now. I wasn’t hungry. I had no appetite for anything except keeping these four men, these men who had saved my life, safe from the harm that I had deposited on their doorstep.

“No, you won’t,” Anton shot back, and I felt a wave of relief move over me when I realized that he was serious. The thought of being apart from the four of them was too much to handle, even if I knew that none of this would have happened had they never taken me in . I looked around at the other three brothers, and, while they all seemed unhappy, there was an air of resignation to them that told me that they had come to terms with this.

“And what about the rest of you?” I asked. I knew that Anton had final say but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least give the rest of them a chance to share how they really felt.

“You stay.” Luke looked up at me, and Rafe and Ethan nodded. They were all on the same page. They all wanted me here. I felt tears prick my eyes again and I turned to head back to the kitchen, to hide my emotions from them.

“We leave at daybreak,” Anton announced, his voice firm. “I’ll take the snowmobile and the rest of you can follow. Pack everything you can. I’ll stand on watch tonight to make sure they don’t try to sneak back in the night, okay?”

There was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the brothers and I looked down at the stew in front of me that was already beginning to take on a tempting deep-brown gloss. I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t just ruined the lives of the four men I was swiftly coming to care about more than anyone else in the world.

“I have lunch ready,” I announced, going to grab some bread from the cupboard to lay out for them. Cooking them this meal was the least I could do – it might be the last meal I got to eat in this place, the last meal any of us got to eat here. The last supper. I quickly grabbed some plates and laid up the table, trying to ignore the tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe the nightmare I had dropped on their laps. What would have happened if I hadn’t been here? Would they have stayed and fought their ground? Would they have died for this place, in the vain hope of clinging on to it? Would they have picked a side if they didn’t have a Kellum hidden out here? I had no idea, and I knew I would have been foolish and crass to ask. But it would never stop plaguing me, the knowledge that I was the one who had driven them all to this. That this was a choice I doubted any of them would have made if they had any say in the matter.

I put the food out on the table and sat down, waiting for the four of them to join me. They pulled up chairs, grabbed for the food, and, without a word to one another, the five of us began to eat. We would need our strength for everything that lay ahead. Though I had no idea how true those words were going to turn out to be.