Chapter Thirteen

Carter was quiet as they strolled through the snow in the direction of the cliff that overlooked the lake.

A deep sense of serenity settled over Bailey as she stared in rapture at the expanse of frosted blue down below. Rays of lights danced delicately across the icy water.

“Are you going to tell me why you ran again, Bailey?” Carter asked quietly.

Bailey swallowed hard, recalling waking up with his arms wrapped around her, Lucy in a similar position next to her in Chance’s arms, well into the afternoon on the New Year’s Day. She had stared into his face, relaxed in repose. The feelings that had filled her mind at that moment had been overwhelming.

It had scared the living daylights out of her. It was wrong and didn’t fit with her future plans. None of it. Especially not what he wanted. She’d untangled herself from his arms and within minutes, was running down the street, dressed only in her long coat and high heels, once again.

“I didn’t—”

“Don’t,” he warned darkly. His eyes had turned tumultuous like the sea before a storm. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Bailey. It’s the one thing I abhor.” He took a deep breath. “Let’s try this again. What are you so scared of that you can’t face me after we have sex?”

Bailey could feel the heat warming her cheeks―a sign of the emotional wreck she’d become since she’d met him. She feared that all her insecurities were written on her face and there was nowhere to hide. Not from his eyes that didn’t miss anything.

He caught her by the shoulders and shook her.

“Talk to me, dammit, Bailey. What? Tell me what are you scared of?”

“I’m not scared, Carter.”

As soon as the words left her mouth she began to doubt them. She’d always put her career first but maybe she’d only used it to mask her true fear. An unfounded belief that if she gave her heart, it will be broken. She knew she didn’t have the resilience like Lucy, to overcome it. She was like her grandfather. She would become a lost soul.

“You could’ve fooled me,” he grouched cynically.

“I am not the woman for you, Carter.”

“Let me be the one to make that decision, Bailey.”

Bailey searched his eyes. She was shattered by what she saw there.

Oh god, why can’t I accept what he is so generously offering? Is a career really all that matters?

But Bailey knew deep down, it would always be her first priority. Work will always come first, no matter what. A man like Carter Gibbs wouldn’t accept that. Especially as he wanted kids.

“Let me rephrase. I’m not the woman for any man. I’ve never yearned for love. All I have ever wanted, all I still want, is my career.”

He stared at her with understanding flashing in his eyes.

She cursed softly. 

Dammit! He doesn’t get it.

“I won’t expect you to give up your career, Bailey. Quite the contrary, I would encourage you to continue to excel.”

She licked her lips, knowing she was about to slam the final nail into the coffin that would close any chance of a future with him.

“I don’t want children.”

He became quiet; his body tense as he looked out over the cliff.

“I see. So, tell me what it is that you do see in your future, Bailey,” he said without moving his gaze from the view in front of them.

“Carter, let’s just drop this. I’m sorry, I truly am. You’ve taught me things in a small amount of time about myself that I never would’ve learned. You’re a wonderful man. I realized that the other night. Caring, compassionate and you deserve a woman who will love you and give you everything you desire from life. I am not that woman.”

He swung to her. He pushed his hands into his pockets and she got the impression it was to prevent himself from shaking her again.

“No, Bailey, I’m not going to drop this. Seeing as you are too much of a coward to face it, let me tell you how your future is going to be. Ten years down the line, you’re going to start aging―too soon but stress and long hours of work will accelerate it. Twenty years from now, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re alone,” his voice vibrated with emotion. “Wake up to the reality now, Bailey. You’re going to become more and more entrenched in your work because it’s all you have in your life. It takes guts to accept change but unless you’re prepared to make concessions and consider the possibility that you can have both lives―”

“How dare you!” Bailey raged, struggling to breathe.

“I dare, Bailey Parker, because I fell in love with the thought of you that day at your grandmother’s graveside and I have waited for fucking five years to give you time to become the hotel magnate you so desperately desired. I dare, Bailey because I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow my happiness and future to be swallowed up by your single-minded belief that you’re almighty and don’t need to be loved.”

Bailey gaped at him. Five years? Grandmother’s grave? Her mind scrambled to connect all the dots. She remembered how distressed and devastated she’d been that day. Her beloved Grandma Alice was gone, less than a year after her father. Big hands had caught her and cuddled her into a strong embrace. A hard, warm chest that she’d leaned into and cried her heart out.

The familiar smell of his sandalwood aftershave tingled her nostrils. Her eyes flared.

“You. It was you . . . at the graveside, who consoled me . . .”

Carter didn’t say anything but his eyes blasted her with the force of an emotional hurricane. On the surface he appeared relaxed but his strong beliefs of what he thought she had to offer kept pulling her closer to his vortex and, with each passing second, she could feel the winds clipping away at her soul. It was tempting to jump into the unknown, to take up the thrilling challenge. For wasn’t to love and be loved the biggest challenge of them all?

“I see I’m wasting my time. Have a good life, Bailey,” he asserted, turned and walked away.

Bailey couldn’t move and when she blinked, he was back, yanking her against his hard chest. His eyes scorched her with blue fire as he whispered against her lips, “But I will give you this to remember me by in the middle of the night, in the loneliness of your cold and empty bed.”

Carter’s lips enveloped hers; and owned her. A fire ignited inside as their bodies moved together, soft curves against unyielding steel. Bailey inhaled frantically, but it wasn’t enough. Her head grew light. He groaned into her mouth; loud, feral and erotic. It unloosed the memories of hours of unadulterated passion, gentle touches, rough ones, but always with the intention to give her pleasure; like now, with his lips.

Heat coursed through her, hot as a wildfire and her skin bloomed under his touch. She had never wanted anything more than to feel his arms around her and his lips against hers.

Always. Never to let her go.

The cold breeze turned to ice when she found herself standing alone. She kept her eyes closed, listening to his retreating footsteps through the thick snow.

He’s gone.

Her heartbeat slowed. Her legs crumbled and she sat down on the soft cushion of snow.

Bailey didn’t realize she was crying until her grandfather’s gruff voice pulled her from her desolation.

“There now, poppet. Grandpa’s here.”

His arms around her were all that was needed for the floodgates to open. She leaned into his chest and sobbed at her loss.

He led her back to the cottage and pacified her with a cup of hot chocolate and some butter cookies. She chomped on a couple, staring blindly into the fire.

It was what she’d wanted, so why did it feel all wrong? She cringed at the bleak future Carter had so blatantly spelled out for her. A future she didn’t want, she realized. For the past ten years all she had done was work. First, under her father’s tutelage and after his death, the desire to excel had become all encompassing.

But is it all I want from life? Really?

She questioned her motives for pushing Carter away. Her earlier reasons had obliterated with the truth and left her staring at the man himself.

Bailey thought back to her early twenties. How she’d always basked in the love of her parents and grandparents. Spoiled, cared for and given so much love, she had never wanted for anything. She had always appreciated how loving her family had been, especially on Christmas. She’d wanted it too.

She still wanted it in her life. Someone to love her unconditionally, share feelings, hopes and dreams with as they travel the road to their destiny. The way she’d driven herself over the years had caused those dreams to fade.

Bailey wanted them back. She needed them back.

“I think I made a big mistake, Grandpa,” she whispered sadly.

“Admitting to a mistake is half the battle won, poppet. The other half is to fix it. That is the important part.”

She looked at him with glimmering eyes.

“Where will I find him, Grandpa?”

“Not too far, I think,” he said, smiling. He winked. “I never heard his car leave. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”

Bailey jumped up and yanked on her jacket and stomped her feet into her snow boots. She was on the porch when he called after her, “He usually goes to the Grace waterfall when he needs to think.”

* * * * * * * *

The Grace waterfall was a quarter of a mile further up the mountain. It was breathtaking during all seasons. She set off through the thickset trees that swayed gently in the cold breeze.

Carter stood gazing at the vertical walls of frozen water. She could see from the tension in his shoulders that he’d heard her coming.

“I think I made a mistake,” she said softly a few steps behind him. He didn’t move.

“Over the years I’ve allowed my young girl dreams to be squashed under the ambition to prove to the world that a woman can be as successful as any man. I forgot what it’s like to have fun. To be wanted.”

“What were your dreams, Bailey?” His voice carried over the expanse of the frozen pool in front of him. He sounded tired.

She took a few steps closer. “I want what my parents had; what Grandpa Joe and Grandma Alice had.”

He didn’t respond. Bailey squared her shoulders and took the bravest step ever. She pressed her body against his back and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I don’t want you to leave me, Carter. I know now that I want it with you. We hardly know each other but I do know that you’re the first man who has managed to confuse me; made me face the reality of the empty life I’ve been living. But more than that,” she stepped back and circled around him to look into his eyes, “You made me want to love,” she swallowed at the closed look in his eyes, “and to be loved.”

“You have to be sure about this, Bailey, because I’m not looking for a fling or a couple of months of hot sex. I want permanency. A wife and a family.”

“I’ll never stop striving to be the best that I can be at my job, Carter but I promise I will put as much effort into loving you—if not more.”

“And children?”

She smiled sweetly and in that moment Carter could do nothing more than stare at her. It was like the sun came out to shroud her in gold. His mood lifted and his heart began beating wildly in his chest.

“Somehow, the thought of two little naughty boys who look like their daddy doesn’t scare me as much anymore.”

“Little girls, with their long, dark hair, trailing behind them as they play hopscotch in the backyard,” he croaked, barely able to contain his joy. Finally, he had the woman he’d been yearning for.

His smile washed away her fear. Excitement rushed through her veins. Happiness flared in his eyes, which she knew was a reflection of her own. Even if the world around her had started to collapse in that moment, she wouldn’t have cared, because she knew her heart would always be safe and cherished for within his.

Her eyes twinkled with a wickedness that caused his blood to heat up in a blink of an eye.

“Besides, I am looking forward to all the hours of passion and lust in an effort to make those two little boys a reality.”

“You are a saucy wench. I won’t ever get enough of you.”  He kissed her cold lips and nibbled on them until they were warm and puffy. “But you got it wrong again, pussycat. I said two girls.”

She licked his lips with deliberate seductiveness.

“How about a pair of each?”

“Ah, my love. Now you’re talking.”

Her mind didn’t protest at the sudden thought of going from no kids to four. With Carter by her side, she could face anything.

His kiss deepened as he set alight her senses with a fire that would burn inside her for years to come.

Holy shitballs, Bailey. Four kids!

 

 

 

 

The End