“Have fun Curtis. Just make sure you behave, okay. Call if you need us,” Green said as Curtis climbed down from his truck. They’d played catch in the park for over an hour and then watched the recreation league play a game before they headed back home.

“Will do. We’re watching the game tomorrow?”

“Yeah. We got some work to do early but we’ll swing by and pick you up after,” Ruxs said.

“Cool. I’ll be back from the hospital by three-ish.” Curtis took a few steps towards his house and turned to add, “What are we having with the game tomorrow night?”

Ruxs grinned and looked over at Green. “He’s talking to you, not me.”

Green rolled his eyes. “Nachos.”

Curtis jumped and whooped in the air. “With the spicy con queso?”

“Sure, bud.” Green shook his head, smiling.

Curtis grinned broadly and ran the rest of the way up his small driveway to the home that he’d once lived in with his mother. Now he lived there alone.

“You spoil him,” Ruxs said as Green pulled off from the curb.

“Do not.” Green looked over at him. “It’s just nachos. How the fuck is that spoiling him?”

“It’s not just nachos and you know it.”

“The kid’s had it rough, dude. He deserves as much happiness as he can get.”

“I understand. But he needs to be a man too. You have to stop babying him. He’s seventeen. He’ll be going off to college next year. He’ll be so used to us helping him with everything; he won’t be able to do for himself.” Ruxs yanked his coat from the back seat, digging in the pocket for his sunglasses. “If you give a hungry man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, he’ll never go hungry again.”

Ruxs snapped his head around when Green laughed so hard it made his ears ring. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about, and when the hell did you get so philosophical? Jesus. You sound ridiculous. Curtis has been caring for himself and his mom since he was thirteen for shit’s sake. You really think he couldn’t make it on his own in college without my nachos and cinnamon buns?”

Ruxs didn’t say anything else because he noticed now that Green was dropping him off at his own apartment. Fuck. His date. Green was going out on a date tonight. Ruxs had actually forgotten about it, and now it was bitch smacking him in the face. He glanced a look over at the man beside him. Damn. Has he always been that fuckin’ beautiful? Wayward, jet-black hair. Tousled like he couldn’t be bothered with it. Long enough to pull and control him with. His eyes were just as dark as the long lashes that closed over them. Strong jaw line, covered with stubble that extended down his throat. Jesus. Ruxs wanted to lean over and bury his nose in the crook of his neck and get lost in that intoxicating scent that Green was now so fond of, but completely oblivious to how much it turned him the fuck on. Surely this woman going out with him tonight was going to work overtime to make Green her future husband. Ruxs had no doubt in his mind that his chance was officially over before it’d even begun. 

He coughed hard trying to loosen the ache in his chest. It felt like someone had lassoed his heart and was pulling it through his rib cage. Not only was his chance shot to hell before he even took it, but it now meant that Green would most likely have a girlfriend very soon and he’d have very little time for him. He knew it was too early to think like that, the man hadn’t even had one date yet. But Green was so wonderful; strong, and a brilliant detective. As much as he hated to admit it the woman he was going out with was smart and beautiful too. There really was no reason for them not to hit it off. He coughed hard again. Ruxs put his shaking fist to his mouth, trying desperately to play off the almost panic attack he was having.

“You alright man?” Green swatted him hard on his back. “What happen, you swallow wrong or something?”

“Um. Yeah.” Ruxs ground out. He saw that they were pulling up to the curb in front of his complex. Damn the place was a piece of shit. He didn’t even want to go in. He hadn’t been there in almost two weeks; it was probably rank in there. Dark and quiet. He felt like throwing a hissy fit right there in the truck. Go out with me not her! She doesn’t care about you! I do. Can’t you see that! I’m crazy about you! I fuckin’ love you! Oh yeah, he was about to lose it. Green came to a stop and Ruxs had the door open before Green could shift the gear into park.

“So. I’ll pick —”

Ruxs slammed the door shut – cutting off whatever Green was saying – and hurried up to his place without looking back. He shakily got the key in the door and shouldered it open, quickly slamming it behind him. He said a silent plea that Green wouldn’t come after him to see what the hell was up. He heard the diesel engine of the Ram truck rev up and fade away. He was glad Green didn’t chase him; and then of course a part of him was hurt he didn’t. He flicked the light switch. Nothing. He flicked it off and on again. Nothing. Fuck. Realizing his goddamn electricity was off; he pressed his back to the door and slid down to the floor, dropping his face in his hands. His eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and he looked around his place. One loveseat in front of a forty-two-inch television. A pretty cool sound system that he was actually surprised hadn’t been stolen yet sat in the corner. His kitchen was separated by a little breakfast bar that was scattered with unopened mail. His electric bill probably buried somewhere in the pile. He was sure he had some beer in the fridge, but warm Bud Light didn’t appeal to him at the moment.

He sat there for another ten or fifteen minutes, getting more and more pissed as he replayed Green fucking a beautiful brunette all night long while he sat home alone in the dark. Fuck that. Picking up his phone he typed in a text message. He’d ask his good friend to hang out with him tonight. Furi was always up for some fun.

Furious Barkley was his sergeant’s life partner. Syn had taken one look at the man with the long beautiful hair and countless tattoos, and fallen completely in love. Ruxs had met the ex-porn star/bartender turned mechanic/business owner after they all rallied together to protect him from his psycho ex-husband. Ever since then, he and Furious had formed a good bond, they were close friends and Ruxs knew he could talk to him the same as Green.

What’s up tonight… Wanna hang??? Ruxs closed his eyes waiting on Furi to respond. After a couple minutes his phone pinged with a notification. He pulled up the message:

Furi: Me and Syn going to the movies with god and day…welcome to come along

Thats alright…will chill home tonight

Furi: You sure……

Yeah man ttyl

Furi: Peace

“Fuck.” Ruxs groaned. Maybe Curtis wants to do something.

He quickly pulled up Curtis’ number and sent a message to him. Hey bud, what’s up???

Ruxs only had to wait a few seconds before Curtis replied. over Shanes kicking his butt in MLB 14…don’t worry no drugs or booze. Luv ya see you tomorrow

“Damnit” Ruxs yelled, throwing his phone across the room. Everyone had someone, something to do, except him. He ran his hand back and forth over his buzz-cut, squeezing his eyes shut at the ache of loneliness. He got up from off the floor, thinking that there was no need to wallow. He’d find something to do. He was on his way to his bedroom when he heard his phone ringing. It wasn’t a call it was his alarm. He turned around and went in search of the irritating noise. He bent and picked it up, looking to see what he’d forgotten. The alarm indicated that his grandmother’s birthday was tomorrow.

Jesus. He couldn’t believe it’d been another year. That woman had kept them a family when he was young. It wasn’t until after she died that his mom started using. He put flowers on her grave every year. He always asked his mom to go with him but she was always too depressed–and high–to go. He stood there staring at the phone for a few minutes, wondering if what he was thinking of doing was such a great idea. He wondered if going over to his mom’s place and talking with her around the anniversary of her mother’s passing could help her. Help her see that she still means something to him. That she means everything to him. They could be a family, just him and her. They weren’t alone. They had each other. He’d hate to pull the deceased grandmother card, but it might help getting her back into rehab, and this time Ruxs would make sure she stayed clean.

With newfound determination Ruxs went to his room and pulled out a good pair of jeans and a button up collar shirt. Maybe she’ll have dinner with me. He took a freezing cold shower since his hot water heater wasn’t working and quickly dressed. He tucked his badge and cuffs in his leather coat and left his depressing apartment to wait on the curb for his cab. I really need to get another truck. Ruxs wrecked his truck chasing a suspect about six months ago, but since he usually rode with Green, he didn’t stress about getting a new one. But he had a feeling that was going to change soon. It was the first week of November. It was after eight, dark and slightly chilly. The temperature was already starting to decline in the evening hours. He wasn’t going to want to wait outside for rides much longer.  

He had the driver drop him by the shopping center up the street from his mom’s place. He bought two large bouquets of flowers, one for the grave and one for his mom. He huffed and picked up a carton of cigarettes too. He needed to come with something to make her slightly pleased by his visit. He was smiling from ear to ear when the cab pulled up to his mom’s small duplex. He felt good about this. He’d gotten through to her before. Actually several times. She’d gone to rehab, and even though she’d relapsed, she’d gone. This time was going to be different, he convinced himself. Everyone else had their families and partners to share their lives with. He refused to be left with no one. He’d work on repairing his relationship with his mom. That would be his mission for now. Not home pining over his straight partner and his new girlfriend.

Ruxs tucked the cigarette box under his arm and went to open the door. He paused, changing his mind and knocked instead.

“Who is it?” his mom yelled. “I’m busy.”

“Momma, it’s me. Can I come in?” Ruxs yelled back.

“Armin, what do you want? I’m watching TV.”

What the hell? Ruxs ignored her and opened the door. He stepped inside the foggy room, closed and locked the door behind him. “Hey momma. I brought you something.” He smiled despite the frown she had on her face.

“Armin. I said I’m busy.” She tucked her legs under her and turned back towards the TV, ignoring him.

He walked through the small living room space, kicking the recliner closed so he could sit next to her on the couch.

“Mom. I really wish you’d call me Mark.”

She scowled at him. “I’ll call what I named you.”

“You named me after a man that left you as soon as he found out you were pregnant. I’ve never even seen him. I go by Granddad’s name. I go by Mark Ruxsberg.”

“I will call you whatever I goddamn please, if I want to call you assh —”

He waved his hand in the air cutting her off. “Okay, okay. Never mind. Forget the name. That’s not why I came over.” He picked up the flowers and held them in front of her. “Look what I brought you. Aren’t they pretty? Roses are still your favorite, aren’t they?”

She didn’t smile at him but at least she dropped the frown. “Thanks,” she mumbled.

“You’re welcome. Here, I brought you these too.” He held out the carton of cigarettes. She quickly snatched them up and put them on the table beside her.

“I’ll just put these in some water for you.” Ruxs ignored her groan of annoyance and got up to get the one vase he knew was under the kitchen sink from the last time he’d brought her flowers. He vaguely looked around the small space as he carefully placed the flowers inside the thin glass container, filling it halfway with water. He smiled wide when he placed them on the table in front of her.

“Do you like them?” he asked.

“You can’t stay. I’m busy,” she said, not looking at the flowers or him, her bloodshot eyes focused on the television instead.

“Well, actually I have no plans tonight. Thought I’d come and take my favorite girl to dinner.” He gently placed his hand on her knee over her faded pink robe. “Maybe take a walk in the park. Hmmm. That sound nice? You love Atlanta in the fall.”

She turned to him and the harsh look of disdain she wore made him close his eyes. He couldn’t look. He loathed that fucking look. Why the hell does she hate me so much? With his eyes still closed he kept talking. “Come on, mom. You gotta meet me half way here. It’s just me and you now. We’re family. We’re all we’ve got. I’ve been here for you the whole time. No matter what you’ve done and said to me, it’s in the past. I forgive you. But I really need you to be here for me, now. I-I’m going through some things and I could sure use my family right now. I remember —”

“Don’t go that way!” his mom yelled, interrupting his aching plea.

He opened his eyes and saw she wasn’t even paying attention to him, her concentration on the television program. Ruxs huffed a small sigh. He wasn’t giving up. He’d wait until the show went off. He didn’t have shit else to do. He removed his hand from her knee and sat back on the couch, draping his arm around her. “So what are you watching?”

She shrugged his arm off. “None of your business.” She stood up and went to the front door. “You have to go. I’m tired.”

Ruxs ran his hand over his hair, squeezing the back of his neck. This whole situation was so fucked up. He literally had no one to turn to. He looked up at her, just now fully taking in her appearance. He frowned at the ratty house robe closed tight around her narrow waist. Her lipstick was smeared around her mouth; her eyes looked like a raccoon, her dark eyeliner smudged like she’d been crying – but that was impossible – she was incapable of such an act. He tilted his head to the side, her eyes were everywhere but on him, shifting back and forth, her leg bouncing nervously. Ruxs looked around the small space, finally standing up. His anger was rising quickly, he couldn’t believe this. Didn’t want to believe it. He walked back towards her bedroom. Ignoring her screeching for him to leave.

“What are you doing?” she yelled. Her small fingers uselessly grabbing at his thick bicep.

He ignored her still. He marched back to the front of the apartment and peered out the kitchen window. Nothing back there. He took in the scene in front of him. The usual dirty dishes littered the sink, but there was also takeout.

“That’s it! Out! Right now, Armin! I don’t want you to come back, ever!” She opened the front door, pointing outside.

Ruxs came back into the living room, yanking the door out of her hand and slamming it closed. She jumped at his anger. Good. He took a calming breath, not wanting to act too rashly. Green wasn’t here to keep him out of trouble. He leveled his angry gaze on her and hissed his question. “Who’s the man in the closet?”

Her eyes widened before narrowing. “You’re crazy. Get out of my house.”

“Who’s in there? It’s got to be a man because you wouldn’t hide a female.”

“You’ve lost your mind. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” She shook her head at him, walking back over to the couch, plopping down and lighting another cigarette.

“That’s what I’m talking about.” He pointed at her. “You’re sitting over there, like always. But when I came in I had to kick the recliner closed… meaning someone had obviously been sitting in it. Someone just used the shower because the mirror is still foggy.” He tilted his head at her. “But your hair’s not wet. You also have no money, but you have enough takeout in your kitchen to feed two grown men.” Ruxs stood over her. “You forget I’m a detective don’t you? So I’ll ask one more time before I put a bullet in the fuckin’ door. Who’s the bastard in the motherfuckin’ closet?”

His mom jumped up her eyes bulging at the sight of his Glock in his hand. “I’m going to call the police. Put that thing away right now!”

“I am the police!” he yelled back.

She slapped him hard across his face. The sting only making him angrier. The beast inside him snarled and clawed. Green wasn’t here to chain it. Someone was fucking his mom and was too damn cowardly to show his face. His vision dimmed around the edges. The darkness opened its doors and Ruxs eagerly jumped in for the ride.

“You’ve got until the count of three to come out, or else I’m going to unload my goddamn clip, then I’m going to reload it and empty in there again!” he yelled, his deep voice flooding the duplex. “I won’t stop until you either come out or I hear your body drop!”

Ruxs cocked the hammer of his weapon, not seconds after he did, he heard a man’s voice pleading, “Wait, wait, I’m coming out.” The knob turned slowly on the closet and the door creaked open.

“Let me see your fuckin’ hands first,” Ruxs yelled, pointing his gun in that direction.

His mom had a hold of his other arm but he kept his aim steady. “Leave him alone! This is my house! You have no right!”

He saw the man’s hands before he stepped out of the closet wearing only a towel around his neck and a pair of low-slung denim jeans. Ruxs lowered his gun slowly, but his breath caught when he realized who it was. It was a low-life piece of shit that he’d busted more than once. The young twenty-seven year old hustler had served six months for possession before he was released just a year ago. Only he came out doing the same bullshit. Selling to kids and crack mothers, basically anyone that had the money.

“Jacob, what the fuck are you doing in my mother’s house?” Ruxs growled.

“I swear man; I didn’t know that she was your mom.” He begged.

“I doesn’t matter honey. You don’t have to explain anything to him because he’s leaving and never coming back,” his mom yelled.

Ruxs turned and faced her. Sputtering at the term of endearment. “H-honey. Are you fuckin’ serious! I’m older than him! What the hell are you doing with this kid?”

Jacob made a couple steps back towards the bedroom. “I’m just gonna get my things and go.”

Ruxs spun back around. Closing the distance between them in three long strides. “The fuck you are.” Ruxs spun Jacob hard and pushed him up against the wall.

“Hey!” he yelled.

“Keep your goddamn hands up.” Ruxs snarled, kicking his feet apart. “You selling to my fuckin’ mother, you piece of shit?”

Ruxs’ mom ran over to them, yelling at him to let him go. As soon as she said that Jacob was her boyfriend and they were in love, Ruxs thought his head was going to pop off. He kept his palm in the center of Jacob’s back, while he glared at his mom. “Do you know I’ve arrested this asshole twice? Did you know he sells crack cocaine to kids and pregnant women? Don’t you know he’s just using you?”

“That’s not true. He loves me! Loves me enough to give me what I need. Something you never did!”

Ruxs’ heart clenched at his mother’s words. She loved a drug dealer more than she loved him. Well he was going to fix that. As long as this shithead was walking around, his mom was never going to get clean. He’d keep her high. Keep her supplied with as much and as many drugs as she wanted. Ruxs ignored his mom and dug deep into Jacob’s right pocket, coming up empty. But, when he dug in the other he found two small bags of cocaine. “Mmm hmm. Just like I thought.”

“I’m not dealing, man. That’s for personal use.” Jacob tried to argue. “I swear, Ruxsberg. I’m not dealing. I-I’m being straight up. I love her. I do. I didn’t know this was your mom, man.”

Ruxs growled angrily and pulled one of Jacob’s arms down, twisting it behind the man’s back. As soon as he started to read Jacob his rights – not even getting past “You have the right to remain” – Jacob pushed back against him, yanking his hand free. He spun and swung his fist, connecting it with Ruxs’ left cheek.

Ruxs grunted but the punch wasn’t enough to hurt him. Jacob may have been in his twenties but he had street smarts and he could fight dirty. Ruxs pushed his mom out of the way but she threw her own swing at him, scratching his eye with one of her fake gold rings on her finger. Ruxs was actually stunned by her hitting him, even more so, that she was fighting against him. He looked at her, his eyes reflecting all the pain he felt from her doing that to him. Jacob ran into the bedroom, but there was no exit back there.

“You are taking his side over your own fuckin’ son! I’m the only one that’s been there for you! Took care of you!” Ruxs yelled, his eyes beginning to flood again. He was pissed. Tired of crying for this woman. His back stiffened. “I came here to beg you. Get clean, please. So it can be me and you just like it used to be.”

He wiped angrily at the tear that fell down his face. His voice and his movements were frantic. “I will take you to rehab right now. I’ll pay for the best place money can buy. I’ll sell everything I have, if you just say yes. Tonight, no waiting. You’ll be out by Thanksgiving. Then me and you, we can go out for a nice dinner. Maybe go out of town for a few days. You can live with me. We could be a family, momma. Please. I love you, can’t you see that?” Ruxs was so lost in his feelings that he didn’t hear Jacob’s footsteps moving towards him until it was too late. Since Ruxs’ large frame was blocking the entrance to the hallway, Jacob slammed his lithe body into him, knocking him off balance, making him stumble over the leg of the couch. He fell over the raggedy cushions, knocking his head into the corner of the end table. “Fuck!” He squeezed his eyes shut at the immediate throb that begin under his right temple.

“Hurry! Run!” He could hear his mom yelling, obviously at her boyfriend. But Ruxs would be damned if that motherfucker was getting away.

He ignored his own pain, jumped up, hurdled the table, and clasped his arm around Joseph’s neck, bringing him easily down to the floor. He got his cuffs out of his pocket and secured both Jacob’s arms behind his back. The man struggled with everything he had but he was no match for him. Ruxs brought all his weight down on Jacob, his knee resting directly at the base of his spine. The man yelled and screamed in agony, but Ruxs didn’t give a damn. As soon as he had him secured, he continued to disregard his mother’s insistent pleas and pulled out his cell phone requesting a squad car. With Jacob still under him he began to read him his rights again.

“You have a right to have a lawyer present during any ques —” Ruxs didn’t get to finish his reading this time because the glass shattering over the back of his head sent him crashing down to the floor. Water splashed over him, running down his neck along with the blood from a cut behind his ear. Ruxs held his hand over the cut, looking at all the broken glass and flowers he’d just bought littering the living room floor. He looked back at his mom. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. He was in shock. He couldn’t believe it, his mind still refusing to believe she’d done it. He checked and saw that Jacob was still on his stomach in handcuffs.

“Give me the key, Armin.” She held her shaking hand out to him. “Right now!”

Ruxs worked himself back up to one knee, his head rebelling against the movement. “What did I do? You have to tell me. What did I do for you to hate me?” He half-whispered, half-groaned with anguish.

She picked up her heavy glass ashtray off the coffee table and held it high over his head. “Shut up! Just give me the key. I won’t let you take the man I love!”

Ruxs just watched her in surprise. He couldn’t move at all. He wanted to be knocked out. He’d rather her slam that damn five pound ashtray over his head instead of witness another second of this. The countless criminals he’d encountered over his years as a cop hadn’t been this damn evil to him. His own mother would rather him be dead.

“Armin. Don’t make me do this. Give me the key. Just let him go.” Tears rained down her face. Ruxs wished those tears were for him, but he knew they weren’t.

“Fuck no,” he hissed.

“Hit him! Hit him. Gloria!” Jacob yelled from the floor. “I’ll go to jail if you don’t! Who will take care of you, baby, if I’m locked up? We won’t be together ever again if they take me.”

Ruxs saw the determination in his mother’s eyes. Knew she was going to do it. He closed his eyes and waited for it. When he heard the loud bang, his body jerked hard, believing that he’d been hit, but it was the front door.

“Freeze! Put your hands up! Drop that fuckin’ thing or I will tase you!” A uniformed officer was yelling at his mom. Ruxs reluctantly opened his eyes. She looked so scared, so frail, and clueless. He still wanted to help her, but he knew it was over. Anything he thought he could have with her was gone, there would be no going back from this. Ruxs hung his head. This was the last of his family… gone.

“Sir. Sir!” the officer yelled at him. Ruxs looked back up. “Sir, are you the detective that called us?”

His mom was already in handcuffs being taken out of the house. Another officer had joined them and pulled Jacob to his feet, ushering him right behind her. Whatever his mom was yelling didn’t register through the ringing in his ears.

“Sir. I’m getting you medical attention.” The officer clicked the mic on his shoulder but Ruxs shook his head no, groaning at the pain the action caused. 

“That won’t be necessary. I’m fine.” Ruxs got to his feet, stumbling a little from the dizziness that washed over him. He thought he might have a slight concussion from impact of the vase. But the cheap, dollar store container was so thin, he doubted it. He went to the tiny linen closet and grabbed one of the few towels that was in there, pressing it to the cut right at the edge of his hairline behind his ear. “Shit.”

He followed the other officer outside, closing the front door behind him. Of course now there were four squad cars in front, lighting up the neighborhood. Ruxs quickly gave his full statement to the officers. Detailing the events from time he walked in to the time they arrived. He was used to reports; he knew what needed to be said. He’d almost left out the part about being struck and threatened by his own mother, but he changed his mind. He told them everything. She would no doubt be charged with assault and battery.

“Detective. I really think you should have that looked at. It’s still bleeding,” the officer said quietly. The concern evident on his smooth face. Ruxs appreciated it, but he just wanted to get the hell away from there. “I will. I’ll take a cab to the hospital,” he lied.

Two of the cruisers pulled away from the curb taking his mother and her “boyfriend” downtown. After the other two had concluded the call and bagged the two baggies of cocaine, they reluctantly left Ruxs sitting on the curb in the dark. He pulled out his cell and called for a cab. He kept the fastest cab company in Atlanta on speed dial. He didn’t want to go sit in a cold hospital. He needed alcohol… lots of it.